So Liz has invited a big group of people to go see “This Means War” on the 17th. I invited Paul along since I know he’s been wanting to see it, but Liz and I have to sit next to each other. We have to hold hands and sob at Toms Beauty….because of reasons.

Me: I’m glad you’re coming, but Liz gets dibs on my hand and a spot next to me.

Paul: Rats! I assume I get the other side then.

Me: Lol yes

Paul: Fuck that shit. I’m claiming a hand too

Me: Okay, I will hold both her hand and yours. I care about you both

Paul: I see I have competition…bring it.

Me: Liz was here first. Uteruses before duderuses