lighter food

after

The sun goes down. From the basement Will listens for the locks on the door clicking open, but there’s no sound from upstairs except his dad’s relentless pacing. His mom and Skinner don’t come home.

Will lies on one of the twin mattresses in the basement, arms crossed over his chest like he’s lying in a coffin. He doesn’t light a candle — it seems like a waste, just for him — and there’s no light from upstairs either. Eyes wide open, he stares into nothing.

Finally — after a long, long time — Will rolls onto his feet and goes upstairs. Everyone can hear you coming up from the basement; Will can’t count the number of conversations that have stopped abruptly, the second the adults heard the telltale creak of Will’s feet on the basement stairs.

So it seems like bad news when his dad doesn’t move at all, not even in acknowledgement. He’s sitting at the kitchen table with his head in his hands and a bottle of — probably vodka? — on the table next to him. He looks like hell.

Will realizes this suddenly, even though his dad doesn’t look any worse now than he did six hours ago, or yesterday, or last week. The changes have been so gradual. His dad has lost weight — they all have — and his hair’s too long and there’s so much more gray in it than there ever used to be. His beard’s grown in scraggly and unkempt; the rest of his face is ghost-white. When he finally looks at Will, his pupils are so huge that his eyes look black.

“Dad,” Will says, without meaning to.

His dad makes no movement to hide the liquor. Maybe this is being an adult, Will thinks. When adults stop trying to hide things from you.

He’s not sure he likes it.

“How do we even have that?” His parents aren’t heavy drinkers. There’s always wine and beer in the house somewhere, and maybe eggnog at Christmas, which his dad loves and his mom can’t stand, but not much else. And it’s not like Will hasn’t looked.

His dad’s gaze follows Will’s toward the bottle, coming into focus and then out again. “Not ours,” he says.

Will feels a sudden lump in his throat. Which house, Dad? he wants to ask. Which of our dead friends are you stealing from? And not just stealing food or lighter fluid or firewood, not things you actually need to survive. What he actually says is, “That’s fucked up.”

“Yeah,” his dad agrees. At least he doesn’t argue. He does take another swig from the bottle. For a second Will is worried his dad is going to offer him some.

“Remember the first day?” he asks, taking the seat furthest from the bottle.

His dad doesn’t say anything.

“Mom came home,” Will persists. “She’ll come home. And she’s not gonna be impressed with you.” That is definitely true.

They sit together in the dark. Will thinks that years from now — if he lives that long — this is how he will remember his sixteenth year: this old hand-me-down wooden table, the night pressing in from outside. Knowing that the world outside is falling apart and you won’t see when it finally collapses.

“I wanted your life to be better than this,” his dad says finally. “Better than mine.”

“This isn’t your fault.”

His smile is sad, and small. “No way to know that for sure.”

Will doesn’t know how to comfort his father; he still sort of feels like he shouldn’t have to. But he sits up with him anyway.

If they come back with a message, then Will’s going with them, wherever they’re going. They need him — need whatever’s flowing through his veins. And that leaves his dad here, all alone.

After a few hours his dad falls asleep, head resting on his arms on the table. Will takes the bottle and pours it outside, into the snow.

Never, In Fact, Homeless - Part 2

Relationship: Dean X Daughter

Words: 1,956

Summary: Reader has found herself in a bit of a situation and since the boys have offered their help, she feels it’s only right to return the favor.

Warnings: talk of hunger, mostly just sad Daddy!Dean feels tbh

Tagging: @mysaintsasinner because she asked to be tagged in her followers’ stuff and I figured why not? If anyone else wants to be tagged in stuff let me know!

A/N: Here it is! Just like I promised! Please don’t hate me for being so slow!

Part 1

Originally posted by strengthcas

For supposedly being made of water vapor, clouds were actually incredibly warm. So soft and comfortable, you couldn’t recall a time when you’d slept on something as pleasant. The cloud even smelled nice, too, like worn leather and faint cologne. It reminded you of better, happier times, when the worst things you had to worry about were your grades or the latest gossip at school. It reminded you of coming home to fresh baked pie right out of the oven, of sweet lemonade with two straws that twisted around each other. It reminded you of –

You bolted upright, heart racing wildly in your chest. Whipping your head around, you noticed you’d somehow ended up in a motel room. But when? Why? How was it possible that you’d slept on a bed, a real, actual bed?

The realization had you almost in tears.

Keep reading

12.06 coda

Next time Cas is back for real!

Tim Hortons is no Biggerson’s. But the menu promises that the breakfast sandwiches are hot and that they come with bacon and that’s about all Dean can ask for right now. 

He does almost have a heart attack when Sam leans over to whisper, “Make sure it’s not Canadian bacon. We’re in Canada.”

He flags down the waitress and explains, in explicit detail, how he would like his bacon cooked.

Jody and Mary are still waiting in the car. The four of them decide to eat there, away from the noise and civilians. The somber mood of the funeral has still carried over somewhat, and admittedly Dean’s finding it a little hard to choke down bacon after smelling burning flesh all morning.

“So, I got there kind of late,” Mary says through a mouthful of biscuit - apparently not plagued by the same loss of appetite that Dean is. “What were the other hunters like, anyway?”

Keep reading

Gas station:
✨Lighter ~ $1.99
Walmart:
✨Fish food ~ $2.98
Aeropostale:
✨Black shirt ~ $26.50
✨Green tank ~ $22.50
✨Earrings ~ $12.50*
✨ Leggings ~ $34.50*
✨ Tank tops X2 ~ $39.00*
Hot topic:
❤️ Crybaby Necklace ~ $10.90
Barnes and Noble:
✨ Pumpkin king ~ $4.95
Zumiez:
✨ Thrasher shirt ~ $27.95
Total: $183.77
*Not pictured because I already gave them to my boyfriends sister

anonymous asked:

Matsus caring for their s/o on their (painful and just super terrible) period? ;;ww;; (if it makes you uncomfortable, then just skip me, i understand! thanks for doing a great job nevertheless! ♡)

I’m actually going through this right now so imagining these nerds helps! ;;

Osomatsu: Literally has no understanding of a period outside PMS jokes. Which he would probably crack at first, until he realized just how awful his S/O was feeling. He would make sure they ate lighter foods so they didn’t upset their tummy, would go to the store and get whatever they needed, and give lots of massages and rubs. In the end, he’d just about become his S/O’s servant.

Karamatsu: A bit more sympathetic than his eldest brother, but still absolutely confused! He’d probably be the one to get the most nervous about seeing his S/O sick anyway, so hearing their whimpers and whines would absolutely break his heart. He would do whatever they asked and pamper them to the best of his ability.

Choromatsu: He had read something about this somewhere (probably some cheesy fanfic), and felt pretty comfortable in helping his S/O. He would get them a hot pad and extra-strength medication, later running them a hot bath and helping them get comfortable in bed for a warm, cuddly, nap.

Ichimatsu: One of the rare times his S/O would see him melt a bit and become extra affectionate. Though he’d get a bit squeamish with some of the things that came with a period, he would show a much gentler, almost maternal-like side to him, giving cuddles and sweet words in an attempt to boost his S/O back up.

Jyushimatsu: Would literally be the best boyfriend during times like this. Needed pads or tampons? Walks in the store to get them with his held high because he’s proud to help his S/O. Need something to eat or drink? In front of you in seconds. Need a hot bath? Already ran, with some candles with it. His S/O would be his princess.

Todomatsu: He would definitely be texting his female friends/coworkers for help. He had a basic idea of how to be of assistance, but he couldn’t ever be too sure. He’d be fumbly and a little lost, but would try his best to keep his S/O smiling and feeling as content as possible!

Ever since I saved you from that walker

Request for anonymous!

Imagine after getting to know Daryl more and more as the time goes on , you find yourself falling for him .

He was cold when you first met him . Cold and unforgiving . He also was the biggest hot head you ever met. Like if you were to just even say something in a tone he didn’t like or understand he would just flip his lid . But you didn’t expect much seeing as how his brother was . The two were just two peas in a very obnoxious pod . Although , after Merle was hand cuffed to the rough and eventually unable to be found , you saw for the first time something in him he didn’t want anyone to see . He had a heart . One that would do anything for the ones he cared about . And while at the moment he was only showing that side of himself for Merle , you hoped it would only be a matter of time till he would show that side to the rest of the group .

And to your surprise just later that night he did , but to you of all people . You were trying to protect one of the children at camp when a walker through itself on you and knocked you to the ground , sending your hatchet out of reach . You were struggling and thrashing against the walkers surprising weight . Your strength was slowly diminishing as the child screamed for help , but suddenly an arrow went right through its skull . You let out a harsh breath of relief as you then pushed it off of you , but without a chance to think you were being pulled off the ground. “ You alrigh’ ? ” Daryl asked , being the source of pulling . You nodded slowly as you were taking the whole moment in “ Thanks Daryl ” . He nods back at you , his eyes showing slight concern . You’d never forget that moment . Because it wasn’t just the moment where your life was saved , but it was the moment Daryl started to care for you .

It wasn’t long after that when you all got to the CDC . With a much smaller group than before you might add . You all were in such high hopes that this place would be your rescue , but in your gut you knew something was off . But you followed the group to the doors , avoiding the dead bodies that were cast all over the ground , and stayed silent in your doubts . Rick after all couldn’t take anymore of them . “ This ain’t lookin’ so hot . Ya’ got my back if this goes south ? ” Was suddenly whispered to you and you turned to find Daryl looking down at you . You nod at him “ I got yours if you got mine ” . He gives a curt nod to signal he agreed and the two of you stood closely in case the pact would be tested . You found it oddly comforting to be side by side with Daryl , but youd keep your thoughts to yourself .

——

After all the commotion Rick and Shane and eventually the walkers made , you were finally granted entrance into the building . Only to meet the last person in the entire building , Dr.Jenner . On request , you all gave blood to be tested for admittance and once done you were accepted fully into staying . Everyone eventually starting celebrating . Some drinking , some eating , and some just staring blankly out as they wished a loved one was still with them . Whilst you drank only a little and kept to yourself as you ate . You weren’t in the mood to celebrate considering all you had lost recently , but you wouldn’t ruin anyone else’s fun . Although to prevent that very thing , you eventually left the group and found a quiet bedroom . You sighed in relief as for the first time in such a long time , your ears were filled with a ringing silence . Instead of groans of walkers and children screaming and whatever else filled the decaying world around you .

It set you at ease at first , but then after awhile of it you found it too suspicious. Silence was now something that could kill you if you didn’t pay attention to your surroundings. To get it off your mind , you took a shower . A steaming hot shower in fact . And the sound of the water was just enough noise to keep you calm . You scrubbed anywhere there was dirt and it was like heaven, but to save hot water for whoever else was bunking with you , you got out . You put on clean clothes and stepped out of the attached bathroom only to find Daryl leaning against the wall across from you .

“ Thought I might find you here ” He rasped , a bottle in his hands . “ Didn’t want to ruin anyone else’s fun ” You simply explained as you then put your dirty clothes in your duffel . “ You aren’t happy ” He observed , his only boldness coming from the alcohol he intaked. You shook your head “ Its not that . I’m happy those who are still here are safe and alive . It’s just I’m not ready to celebrate when I’ve had no time to grieve what I’ve lost ” . Daryl stares at your back as he takes another swig “ Who’d you loose ? ” . You stalled for a moment . No one had asked you that before and you didn’t know quite how to answer the question. So instead , you sat at the edge of the bed that sat in the middle of the room and shrugged .

Even in his current state , which was buzzed enough that if he took another couple of sips he’d be drunker than a sailor , he knew the look in your eyes . He had the same look in his own . He had lost Merle and even before all of this his mom . And it looked like you had lost it all . “ A piece of advice ? ” Daryl offered . You looked up to meet his eyes as it was you way of telling him to continue . “ Sometimes the only way to make it through is by going under ” . You didn’t really understand what he meant then , but those words always stayed with you .

—–

After the CDC blew and you were all on your way to fort Bennett, you all stopped on account of the RV . You took the chance to search random cars even before Rick had told everyone to , just to keep your mind off things . You figured if you stayed busy enough you’re mind wouldn’t wonder so here you were . The first couple of cars had little to nothing , but you kept searching . You found one that had a few shirts your size so you took them . You tossed them in your back pack and kept moving . The next few cars had little things like lighters , matches , can food , and oddly enough magazines .You stashed them all in your back pack figuring someone can make use of each of the things . You were about to continue when the all too familiar sounds of snarling filled the air and without thinking you hid in the nearest car .

Luckily there was a blanket in the back seat so you covered yourself with it hoping it would fool the walkers . It took what seemed like hours for the groans to fade away, but they did eventually . Only for you to find out sofia had went missing . Rick ran after her immediately you heard and while he was off you looked around to make sure everyone was there . Counting off to yourself, your eyes narrowed as you didn’t find a certain hunter . “ Where’s Daryl ? ” You asked to no one imparticular . Everyone around you looked around and when no one came up with his where abouts , you started to search for him . The last place you saw him was a few cars back from where you found the matches so you started your search there. You looked around every car that was near his last whereabouts , but found nothing .

Only when you turned around did you find a clue . Blood . You mentally sighed as that was never a good sign and you followed the trail till you eventually caught up to him and T-dog . Who turns out was the one bleeding . “ What happened T ? ” You quickly ask as you get under his other arm to help . “ Cut my arm trying to get away from them damn geeks ” He winces . You shake your head and continue to help him over to the rest of the group . They took over once you both got him there and once everyone’s attention was on him , you turned to Daryl “ I was starting to worry about you ” . He scoffs and dims his eyes at you like he didn’t believe you “ Yeah whys that ? ” . You shrugged “ Saw the blood . Didnt know what to think ” . He looks you up and down with a look you couldn’t quite describe , but you didn’t take too long trying to figure out as Rick was now coming back . Empty handed you might add .

Later that night you sat on the roof of a truck and stared up at the stars . You wondered where sofia was and if she was ok , but all you could do was hope . You almost scoffed at the word hope . You could say all you wanted to Carol that you hoped sofia was ok , but where was hope when half of the world was being killed off . You shook your head to yourself. “ Aye ” Daryl called from a few steps behind the truck . You looked over your shoulder “ Hey ” . He nodded to the empty spot next to you as if he was asking to sit . You nodded at him and turned your attention back to the sky . “ What are ya’ doing out here ? ” He asks you once he sat down . You shrug “ Cant sleep. You ? ” . He looks up to the sky as well “ Carols in there cryin’ and Blondie is in there angrily cleaning her gun or something . Makes it hard to think let alone sleep ” .

Knodding once again , you take a deep breath “ Between just you and me , do you think we’ll find her ? ” . Normally Daryl wouldve yelled at anyone who had doubts about Sophia and his ability to find her , but as he now looked at your face he couldn’t bring himself to . So he just calmly answered “ I’m gonna try ” . You bring your eyes to look at his “ I know you will … And if you ever need help or just want some company I’m around ” . Instead of answering he just stares at you . It wasn’t odd to you that he did . Somewhere along the lines you two made a language without words . And what he was saying was ’ I might just take you up on that’

——

By that time the next day , Rick , Shane , Lori, Carl , T-dog , Daryl , and you were all at the secluded farm of a man named Herschel . Shane and the man who shot Carl were out getting the supplies they needed for Carl’s surgery while you , t-dog , and Daryl sat around in the kitchen . T-dog’s arm was freshly dressed and he looked almost out of it thanks to Daryl . Or more like Merle . But you found humor in messing with T-dog in his current state . “ How many fingers am I holding up now ? ” You smirked as you held six in front of him . He slightly closed one of his eyes as he attempted to tell “ F-four ? ” . You laughed as he clearly couldn’t tell and only guessed four to make an attempt .

Daryl smirked from his place against the counter as he watched you . He couldn’t ever recall when the last time you laughed was . Actually, he couldn’t even remember a time you laughed . But he knew one thing , he liked it . “ How about now ? ” You asked as you now held up ten . He groans , a laugh spilling out “ Why are you doing this to me Y/N ? ” . You shrugged and leaned back in your seat “ It amuses me ” . “ Leave the poor guy alone Y/N . He’s probably out of his mind by now ” Daryl smirks . You smile his way and playfully sigh “ Fine fine . We might as well get him to a bed then ” . Daryl smirks a little at you before nodding and the both of you then help the man to a guest bedroom . After getting him into bed and under the covers , the two of you go outside so Daryl could smoke .

“ Haven’t seen ya’ laugh before ” Daryl tells you . You watch him eye you out of the corner of his eyes “ I guess it’s a night for miracles then ” . He scoffs after blowing out smoke from his mouth “ Yeah ” . He take a few more drags of the cigarette before he says anything again “ Ya’ still got my back ? ” . Without missing a beat you answer him “ Of course . You got mine ? ” . He looks over your way and stops only for a moment to get a good look at you . At first , he was doing so to see if you were telling the truth , but after finding you were he continues to stare . He notices little things he hasn’t before . Like the way your lips were the shade of picture perfect petals of a flower , and the way your eyelashes seemed to go on endlessly. They casted a perfect shadow that was only showed up by your sparkling eyes . A breath got caught in his throat for the first time in his life and he quickly looked away . After awhile he found his voice “ You seem to be the only one here with their head out of their ass . So yeah I got your back ” . You wondered for A moment why having you watching his back was so important to him .

But you wouldn’t ask him . He would only distance himself and you were liking the new found friendship you had with him . “ I was thinkin’ of askin’ the old man if I could borrow one of his horse tomorrow so I could go look for Sophia ” Daryl tells you of his plans . “ Be careful out there ” You say non chalantly. “ Yeah… Maybe you could come? Having someone watching my back would help when I’m trying to focus on Sophia ” He then almost seemingly whispers . Smiling , you nod at him “ Sure . We can leave at dawn ” . Daryl could feel himself start to smile , but to cover it he took another drag of his fading cigarette. It was quiet after that and you two suited into a comfortable silence . One it seemed you could only get with him .

—–
As the weeks went on and stability was finally found on the farm , it seemed the search for Sophia was almost useless . Day by day you and Daryl would search for the girl from sun up to sun down. Only to come back with the same results each time . You could see how people were starting to doubt the status on Sophia and it broke your heart to see her own mother doubt it . But somehow Daryl never lost faith . And in his never ending faith , you found some .

The two of you were currently returning from a search just now and you could tell he was upset with himself for not finding her yet . You wanted to console him , but you didn’t know if it was your place . Or the best time either . So you just walked beside him in silence . Or atleast you tried to , but after awhile you gave in “ Daryl ? ” . He didn’t respond , but looked your way instead . “ Don’t beat yourself up . Each day you’re out there means another day closer to finding her ” You offer a smile . He dimmed his eyes at you , but looked ahead as if he thought other wise . “ Don’t let your doubts say other wise ” You add . Stopping in place , Daryl turns to you “ Why are you so kind to me ? Everyone else thinks I’m an asshole ” . Your eyebrows furrowed “ Well I’m not them . You haven’t always been the kindest to me ,but you’re the only friend I have . And you treat your friends kindly , even when they are assholes ” . You smiled widely at your own words, but Daryl just stared at you . These past weeks the two of you had gotten so close and he never could understand how somehow someone like you wanted to have anything to do with him , let alone be friends .

“ I’ve never had a friend before ” . It was the saddest thing you had ever heard , but you smiled still “ Well you have one now . You could even say were best friends . Yeah , I like that . We’re best friends now ” .He laughs at you , a true smile on his face “ Best friends it is ” . You nod and out stretch your pinky finger to him . He slowly stops laughing and looks at your finger in confusion “ What ? ” . You shake it for emphasis “ Pinky promise we’ll always be best friends. Till the end ” . Normally anyone else would’ve laughed at your childish action , but he smiles at you instead and hooks his pinky with yours . Smiling up at him you say “ Now you never have to be friendless again ” . He shakes his head as he smiles , you were something else . “ Now come on let’s get some dinner ” You suggest . Without having to agree , he walks by your side all the way back to the farm . It was about a twenty minute walk , but it wasn’t so bad with Daryl by your side. Arriving , you were met with sad expecting faces of the group and it saddened you by the second .

“ Any luck ” Rick asked the two of you , but you just shook your head . “ We’ll try again tomorrow ” You promised , looking towards Carol now . She gave you a half smile in return and you nodded at her . “ Y'all are just waisting your time ” Shane grumbled to himself , but you heard him . You glared his way, but he wouldn’t dare look up . While you were kind , most of the people here knew what you were capable of . Especially now that Daryl was teaching you new ways to protect yourself .He’d be an idiot to start a fight with someone like you. “ Shut up ” Daryl growled his way and you quickly changed the subject . “ What’s left ? ” You ask Glenn as he was the closest one two the two plates they reserved for you and Daryl. He gives you an iffy look that suggested he didn’t like what they had for dinner , but he handed the two of you plates anyways . Thanking him , you grab a fork from the little bin the group kept silverware in and left to your tent to eat . You weren’t the type to sit around people when they were all stressed and sad so this was where you had been eating the past couple of nights .

Sometimes Daryl would join you , but by the look on his face tonight you believed he was going to go straight to bed without eating . You made a mental note to bring him something to eat to make sure he got something on his stomach before he falls asleep . With that thought in mind , you tried to finish eating as quickly as you could so you could catch him before he fell asleep . Finishing , you take your plate back to the group so the ladies could wash it tomorrow and you pick up Daryl’s. As you started to walk away , someone grabbed the edge of your shirt “ Hey ” . You turned around to see it was Rick . “ Hey ” . He quickly let go of your shirt and motioned you to squat down so he could say something to you . You did as requested “ What’s up? ” . “ You mind coming with Shane and I on the search for Sophia tomorrow ? ” He asks , a pained expression on his face . “ Why ? ” You ask confused on why he would ask . Before answering you , Rick looks at Shane with a expression that had mistrust evident in it . You looked between the two men and sucked in a breath . They had a hatred underneath their thick skin for one another .

“ I’ve seen the way you’ve taken down walkers . If Shane were to make a move on me … you would have no problem taking him down ” Rick answered . Your forehead creased with intensity at what he was asking you , but you shook your head non the less “ Alright ” . He gave you a short lived smile in thanks , but you couldn’t bring yourself to smile back . Instead , you just went back to your task . You then made the long walk to Daryl’s tent and hoped he hadnt fell asleep yet . Once there , you quietly called his name from outside his tent . There was some shuffling instead of an answer and soon enough Daryl was unzipping the entrance . “ Did I wake you up ? ” You asked in a small voice , afraid that you had . He shook his head , his eyes interlocked with yours. He searched your eyes for the usual spark they had , but he soon realised something was wrong . “ What’s wrong ? ” . Your instinct was to shrug as if he would believe you didn’t know , but you just continue to stare at him . His lips form a fine line at you “ Come ‘ere ” . He moved aside to let you have room to come inside his tent and you accepted his invite .

Once the two of you were comfortable in his tent and he started to eat , he simply asked “ You gonna tell me ? ” . Staring once again , you shook your head “ Rick asked me to come with him and Shane on their search for Sophia tomorrow ” . Daryl stopped eating as you finished and he looked up at you with a spark of anger in his eyes “ Why ” . You tilted your head to the side as he wasn’t asking , but stating . “ He wants me to make sure if Shane trys anything .. That I’ll drop him ” . Daryl dimmed his eyes at you “ What’d you say ” . You started to get the uneasy feeling that Daryl was getting angry at you , but you answered him . “ I said alright ” . His eyes suddenly bore into you and it felt as if you could feel his gaze on your skin . You could feel yourself wanting to crawl into a metaphorical shell at the moment. “ He shouldn’t have asked you to do that ” He growled . You shook your head “ I don’t think he really wanted to in the first place . You should’ve saw his face ” . As if all at once , Daryl rose to his feet “ Who is he to put you in danger ! ” .

You slightly flinched as you didn’t expect him to yell . “ Am I the only one around here who won’t put you in danger ! I mean wasn’t it just last week Lori was asking you to run off and get her some shit off a fucking list like it was no big deal ! Like sending you alone out there is just a walk in the park ! ” . You watched as he balled his hands into fists and you slowly stood to your feet “ Daryl - ” . “ No ! Don’t sit there and tell me it will be ok ! You’re too fuckin’ kind and they use it ! They use you ! ” He interrupts to continue putting his rage into words . His chest rose and fall with rapid breaths as he had clearly worked himself up . “ Daryl it’s really ok . You and I have both seen how Shane looks at Rick . Ricks right to be paranoid and if he is that worried Shane is gonna try something then yes I will be there . Didn’t you teach me all those moves for situations just like that ? ” You tried to reason , but it only seemed to piss him off more . “ The reason I teach you these things is because of any moment that I’m not there to protect you I want you to be able to protect yourself ! That doesn’t mean I want you going out and throwing yourself into the lions den ! ” .

You entangled your hand into your hair as you sighed out of stress “ I’m just trying to help . If I have a chance to save his life and I just let the opportunity slip through my fingers and tomorrow Shane comes back with some sob story about how Rick was surrounded by walkers and there was nothing he could do , do you know how awful I’d feel ? How hard do you think it would weigh on me to know that Rick was not only murdered , but taken away from a wife and child ? ” . Daryl groaned loudly and you stepped back “ And what do you mean if you’re not there to protect me ? Do you honestly think im that fragile ? ” . He glared at the wall without an answer . “ Huh ? ” You pursued . Daryl snapped his head in your direction “ You know what I think ? ” .You waited for his response , but first he walked towards you until he towered over you . “ You really want to know ? ” . You nodded as you swallowed harshly . Daryl looked down on you as if he knew he was going to regret what he said “ I think you’re weak . I think that if you are left without someone to protect you that you’ll be walker chow by the end of the day . And I’m tired of having to be responsible for you ” .

You turned your face away from him as you felt tears well up in your eyes “ If t-that’s the way you feel ” . You knew your voice sounded weak , but you tried to believe it sounded strong on your behalf . “ Yeah that’s the way I feel ” . You nodded slowly to yourself and found that your feet had a mind of their own as you backed your way out of the tent . You felt as if your feet wanted to give way underneath you as you were finally out of sight , but you forced them to atleast get you back to your tent . And once you were there , you fell on your ass with a sob leaving your mouth . Your only friend in the world had just turned away from you and it shattered your heart . But what you couldn’t understand was why . Why was loosing him so devasting that your own heart was breaking .

… Did you somewhere along the lines fall for him?

—-
The next day came faster then you wanted . Somewhere around three to four in the morning you finally fell asleep , but only two hours later did you wake up by habit . You laid in bed for awhile after you woke up , too numb from last night to even care about getting up . You felt now as if you couldn’t feel a thing . It was like your heart had went into shock and to prevent from anymore of it your feelings were just on hold. This happened to you once before , so you knew what to expect . It was when you had to kill your first walker . It happened to be your neighbors daughter who couldn’t have even been four yet . And while you knew it wasn’t the sweet little girl that you use to watch every day until her mom got home , it killed you to end her life . You shuddered as you remembered the sound her frail body made as it hit the ground . It took awhile after that to even feel anything again , but Daryl seemed to bring you out of the whole you had fallen in . But now ? It felt as nothing changed .

You stared blankly at the wall of your tent for awhile in deep thought , until someone called for you outside of your tent . You didn’t even try and recognize who’s voice it was and only stuffed your face into your pillow , wishing you could just be somewhere else . Anywhere else . “ Y/N ? Girl you gotta get up ” The voice called for you again , this time laughing . You groaned and pulled yourself from your air mattress to see who was disturbing you . Yanking the flap open , you glared at the person on the other end of the opening. It was Shane surprisingly and he held a smirk on his face that read he was clearly amused at the situation . “ Well good morning princess . When you decide to put some pants on why don’t you meet us outside ? ” He said as he pointed with his thumb to where you were meeting them all . “ Not that I don’t enjoy the view ” He then winks and you roll your eyes . You then shut your tent entrance and shuffle over to your clothes . You pull on a pair of jeans and pull over a plaid shirt over the tank top you were wearing .

You then stuff your boots on your feet and pull your hair into a messy bun . You couldn’t bother doing much with your appearance today so you only grabbed your weapons after . You then stepped out of your tent , a pissed expression on your face . You really didn’t want to deal with anyone today , but you , reluctantly , walked over to where Rick had assembled the able bodies to look for Sophia. You found a place by t-dog and he gave you a confused look as you didn’t even bother saying good morning . Which was out of character for you . “ You alright ? ” He whispered to you and you barely looked at him in return as Daryl made his way over . T-dog looked between the two of you as he could see you were avoiding eye contact with Daryl . He let out a harsh breath as he could feel the tension . Rick looked around the group as he now sensed it to and narrowed his eyes at you . “ She’s just mad cause I woke her up ” Shane joked , as he thought it was the reason for you being angry . “ Maybe it’s because I don’t like having being hit on right after ” You snarled back , your middle finger extending his way . “ What ” Andrea and Daryl said at the same time, anger clearly now in their voices .

“ Oh shit ” T-dog whispered , scratching the back of his head awkwardly . And in an instant , Daryl was throwing himself at Shane like an enraged bear . Your eyes widened as Rick and T-dog quickly had to separate the two . It was a string of curses being thrown at one another and you could see that Rick ans T-dog were having trouble holding the two back . “ Oh what you gonna be mad cause it took me all of two minutes to hit on her when it’s taken you more than three months ! ” Shane yelled at Daryl , hitting the harshest nerve that he could . Daryl stilled all at once as if he had just been hit with a brick . Looking at his face , you felt the overwhelming need to stand up for him , but you remembered his harsh words from last night and decided against it . “ Shut the fuck up ! You dont know what you’re talking about ! ” Daryl yelled once he got himself together . Shane laughed sarcastically “ I get it , I do man . We’ve all seen Y/N . She’s practically center fold material. And you get all choked up when you see her . But I would’ve sealed the deal already man ” . Before you could stand up for yourself , Daryl broke through T-dog and threw Shane to the ground . In less than a second Shane had blood dripping from his nose and lip . “ Don’t you ever fucking talk about her like that ! ” Daryl yelled between his punches .

Rick and T-dog tried their hardest to pull him off of Shane , but to no avail . So without thinking , you rushed over behind him and grabbed one of his arms as it raised to strike Shane again “ Daryl stop! ” . You felt his arm go weak in your hands at the sound of your voice and he looked over his shoulder at you with angry eyes . “ He isn’t worth it ” You whispered . He pondered over your words for a moment before getting off of Shane , but kicked him in his side one last time “ You hit on her again or even look her way your dead ” . You tugged on Daryl slightly so that you could get him away from everyone before he did something he would regret. You walked him over to his tent and let go of him once you two were there . You two were then left with an awkward silence and at the thought of his words from last night you said “ I’ll just be going ” . You turned on your heal to leave , but Daryl grabbed your wrist “ Don’t ” . You turned so that you were facing him and gave him a confused look “ I thought you were tired of me ? ” . With guilt in his eyes , he shook his head “ I’m not .. I just got so mad at them for putting you in danger and I knew that you could take care of your self , but I just didn’t handle it well . And I’m not tired of you . I just
.. I push people away when .. ” He stopped as he was looking for the right thing to say .

You waited with hopeful eyes as he tried to think of what to say. Finally he had a ’ Just screw it ’ moment and grabbed your hand “ I pushed you away because I know the way I feel about you . I can’t stop thinking about you, I can’t stop wanting to be around you , I can’t stop wanting to hear your voice or see your smile .. I know you said you wanted to be best friends , but I want .. need more then that with you ” . You could feel your heart thumping against your chest and a warm feeling settle in your heart “ Really ? ” . He nods , a smile cornering his lips “ Really ” . You looked down with a smile at the two of your hands and felt yourself blush as he rubbed his thumb over the skin of your hand . “ I was heart broken last night and I couldn’t understand why. But it was because somewhere along this crazy path we’ve been on .. I fell for you ” You told him . He smiled at you softly as you looked back up to him . “ I’ve been falling for you since I saved you from that walker back at camp ” He tells you honestly .

“ What made you take this long to tell me ? ” You ask . He gives you a shy look that says it all and you just smile “ That’s ok ” . Slowly , he attempts to pull you closer . You take the hint and move towards him until your head is resting on his chest . Your ear was placed over his heart and you listened to the hyper rhythm.

“ How could I ever tell you when you do this to me ? ” He asks , a proud smile on his face to have you in his arms .

anonymous asked:

any tips on how to cope with depression? i thought this was merely an episode but apparently i'm one of those "permanently depressed" people

Well first of all, I’m sorry that you’re going through this and I’m here for you. It’s important to remember to take your medicine. I have an app to remind me to take meds, and to eat. It also helps to do things, like going to the gym has improved my mood so much. It’ll feel awful at first, but focus on making a routine for yourself and you’ll be feeling better in no time. Lighter foods also helps. It doesn’t necessarily have to be healthy but if you avoid heavy “comfort” foods, you’ll do better too.
That’s all I can think of right now. I hope that helps.

The Unexpected Damage Gum Can Cause

This is tragically not illustrated, but I wrote it for a class and I think y’all would like it! Enjoy!

Gum. It’s good, isn’t it? Enjoyable to chew, fun to snap, and, if we’re honest, handing it out at school will make everyone instantly want to be your friend. But there’s a lot of stuff you probably don’t know about gum, and about a certain group of people you are hurting when chew it.  

A lot of studies have shown that chewing gum can help you keep from eating while you’re on a diet. It makes sense - you get the “munchies” and just feel the need to be eating, even though you’re not really hungry, and chew gum instead. The flavor is nice, and it gets your jaw moving so you sort of feel like you’re eating, even though you’re not. However, other studies have also shown that chewing gum does not reduce either appetite nor hunger. According to Swoboda and Temple in their medical journal Eating Behaviors. Though gum-chewers eat fewer meals, they consume more food during those meals than do non-gum-chewers. Another study reported that people who chewed mint gum were more likely to eat junk food (like potato chips and candy) when they ate, and less likely to eat fruits and vegetables, because of how mint flavors make them taste bitter (Mercola, par. 3-5).

Gum-chewers often argue that it aids in digestion by increasing the flow of saliva and, in doing so, helps prevent acid reflux. Chewing gum also may, and often does, trick your body into thinking that it is time to eat, and therefore, time to digest stuff. So in that way, I suppose they’re right. However, what they don’t mention is that the body then releases enzymes and acids as a neurological reflex when the jaw is moving a chewing motion. These substances are supposed to aid in the digestion of food, but they find themselves with nothing to digest. Having this occur frequently in your body can upset the digestive process and cause bloating, create a lack of the needed secretions required for when it is time to eat, and lead to an overproduction of stomach acids. Wonderful. 

Additionally, according to the British Dental Journal, people who chew gum all the time are more susceptible to tooth decay. This is because when someone chews gum, whether sugarless or regular, their teeth come in contact with sweeteners more often than those who do not chew gum. Even if these people brush their teeth every night, it does not erase the copious amount of time their teeth have spent that day exposed to sweeteners. Artificial sweeteners are not only bad for the teeth, but they are also have a negative effect on the human body. When the body digests aspartame (a chemical used in artificial sweetener), it is then processed into two substances: wood alcohol (which is poisonous), and formaldehyde (a fluid commonly used to preserve dead things, which is gross). These substances now circulating the body have been linked to brain tumors, weight gain, cancer, and birth defects in the children of mothers who chew a lot of gum…though most people who chew gum won’t develop these things. I’m just saying it can happen! Studies suggest that artificial sweeteners (like Splenda) may even cause more weight gain than natural sweeteners because the body, being confused by all the chemicals, has no choice but to turn it into fat.  

The last reason I have is actually the only reason why I wrote this article. I want you to imagine something for a second. Imagine yourself covered in spiders. (Changed the subject there, didn’t I?) Yes, spiders. And not like tarantulas spiders, but the ones that are a bit smaller and squirmy. They’re poisonous, but not to the point they’d kill you. They’re crawling all over you. Everywhere. If you move, you’ll probably get bitten and it’ll hurt like hell. You’d probably have to go to the hospital, and then swell up like a balloon or the aunt in Harry Potter. Imagine how you would feel - how your body would react to that situation. Would it get your adrenaline going? Would you panic? Would you scream? I know I would.

There is a little-known disorder that effects a sizeable group of individuals called misophonia. Just by hearing certain noises, these people experience the same panic equivalent to the moment I just had you imagine. They can’t help it, it’s a neurological response that causes the autonomic nervous system to kick in and triggers the “fight or flight” response that normal people experience when they’re physically threatened. Only for these people, the response happens at the sound of a noise and they have zero control over it. These are noises like eating, crunching, sniffling, coughing, sneezing, and, yes, gum-chewing. It’s a terrifying reality to live in, because they never know when another sound is going to “trigger” this reaction, and there’s not a lot they can do to protect themselves.

I know this because I have misophonia. I wish people could understand what they are unintentionally putting a stranger through with the simple act of chewing a stick of gum. You could be literally torturing someone next to you, and you wouldn’t even know it. Gum is the reason I spend most of my time in my bedroom on the computer, because I can’t participate in the world like normal people. If people would just collectively stop chewing gum, I could do something normal for once and sit in class without constantly having to feel defensive. Like a normal person.

Because I feel so strongly about educating gum-chewers about “misophonics”, I’ll offer some suggestions as to how you can achieve the same benefits you feel gum gives you.

It’s true that gum can keep you awake and aid your concentration. I will not deny this claim, because it is valid and has research behind it. But something you could do instead, in order to not distract others who may have misophonia, is to drink tea with half of a lemon squeezed into it and add honey every morning. Lemon is supposed to wake you up without the use of caffeine and even is supposed to help lift your mood! This particular tea is used to boost your immune system and does “wonders” for your health (Sampath, par.1). It also helps with weight loss, which is something many gum-chewers seek. Lemon contains a fiber called pectin that makes you feel satisfied and staves off hunger for a while. The mixture also builds a more alkaline environment in your stomach that helps you lose weight faster.

If gum normally helps you concentrate in class, try drawing pictures while you listen, or have a “fidget toy” at your desk. Eat lighter meals or light foods, as heavy servings of food tend to make you sleepy. If gum helps you with anxiety, there are a lot of natural supplements that are supposed to help keep the edge off, like vitamins B and C. Lavender oil is also useful for relaxation, and smells really nice too! Putting some under your nose or on your neck can help curb anxiety.

It’s true that gum can also help you remember material if you chew it in class and then chew it the day of a test. There was a study that found that doing this can improve your test score up to 3%. While this sounds awesome, another study showed that getting a good night’s sleep before a test can improve your scores up to 10%. That’s a big difference! If you’re in a crunch for time, it has also been proven that if you study hard right before you go to bed, the material circulates in your mind all night, and you will remember it better the next day (Dr. Dewey, par.6).

Several gum companies like Beldent have sponsored studies reporting that chewing gum helps to improve your image and makes you look friendlier. My advice is to simply be friendly and be a kind person! Don’t rely on gum to change the way you look, you are you. And if people can’t see what a great person you are without gum, then they’re honestly not worth it!

Gum has some negative side-effects, and even some good ones, but there are other ways to obtain these same effects without the reliance of chewing gum. You should not chew gum because there are people in the world that suffer every day because passing strangers innocently put it in their mouths. I understand that you may have not known about misophonia before, but now you do, and you can help sufferers so easily. I’m not saying you should never chew gum, but I’m suggesting you do it alone in the privacy of your bedroom…on top of a mountain in the middle of the Pacific ocean.

But seriously, gum hurts people, and you can stop it! 

Stay brave out there. 

How To Catch Some Zs

Words by Emilia O. // Photography by Juliette Bélanger

Sleep is a wonderful thing for most people and a super common subject to talk about, especially for students. Waking up and feeling like you never slept at all is how most of us feel on the weekdays. Those days were you feel well rested are one of those simple moments in life to live for. Hours of homework, studying, and other activities after school usually take up most of our time, including our beauty sleep. Here’s a few ways I catch up on my sleep and feel rested in the morning:

1.       Cat Naps. I was never too fond of sleeping, I thought it wasted time. When I started high school, however, sleep was constantly on my mind. I found that squishing 27 minutes of sleep into my schedule was super important. I managed to squeeze in 27 minutes of my time into my crazy schedule and it’s made a huge difference in my mood and school work. 27 minutes should be enough time for your body to regain energy and not make you feel groggy.

2.       Replace coffee with fruit. Fruit is a carbohydrate, meaning it will give you energy.  In the morning I’ll usually throw in strawberries and blueberries into my oatmeal or yogurt. While I finish my schoolwork at home I keep a bowl of kiwi, mango, and peaches handy to eat if I start feeling sleepy. It’s amazing the boost of energy fruit will give you. I suggest you try It out, because I was iffy at first, also, but can’t stay away from fruit now.

3.       Drink more water. It’s as simple as that. Water seems to be good for everything and everyone at all times of the day. Keep a water bottle around you at all times, and a drink few of those everyday to really hydrate your body. You can also throw in some fruit if you don’t like the taste of water.

4.       Fall asleep the right way. I don’t know how many times I’ve woken up in the middle of the night, praying that the clock won’t say 6:00 AM. Waking up at 2:00 AM or 3:00 isn’t doing you any good, either. I find that falling asleep is an art. It is a very particular art, too. What you do before bed can affect your sleep greatly. An hour before sleeping is when you should draw the line for any physical activities. You can work on homework (save the stressful homework for before and the homework you kind of know/do know how to do for before bed), read a book (it could be your own book, a book for class, or a magazine), paint your nails, or take a shower. Try eating lighter foods, too. Have a routine to go through (i.e. get into some comfortable clothes, have some herbal tea,  finish up your skin care routine, brush your teeth, set your alarm, etc.), have an outfit ready for tomorrow, and have your bag together all in one place. Try listening to more calming, quiet music. Make sure your room is cool and that your environment is clean, because a messy room always seems so stressful to sleep in for me. Charge your phone (place it under your pillow or on your nightstand. Don’t go back on it, and if you do, make sure your screen light is turned all the way down), turn off your lights, and climb into bed. Try this every night for a week and see what a difference it makes.

I hope you all feel well rested in the morning – even school days. Some days it’s better to just put your homework away and sleep, because your own health should come before anything.

Fourth of July weekend represents one of the busiest weekends for our nation’s coastlines – and as you work to find the perfect perch on the beach this weekend, don’t forget the animals who call those beaches home! 

Amidst all the holiday fun, it can be easy to forget to pick up those plastic soda bottles, lighters, food wrappers and straws you brought with you to the beach. The trash and debris we leave behind can easily make it into our ocean – and into the lives of the marine wildlife that calls it home. Trash is a major threat to ocean life and ecosystems, so doing your part to pick up after yourself on the beach can have a profound, positive impact on the lives of animals like this Laysan albatross and chick inspecting a pile of disposable cigarette lighters picked up during a single beach cleanup event in Papahānaumokuākea Marine National Monument. 

This weekend, save some plastic and save a life! Opt to bring re-usable containers and pick up your trash as you leave the beach. 

(Photo: David Slater/NOAA)