light copter

Even the Stars Die, Dear
[Now on AO3]

Gavin lets the phone ring, just like he has every other time. As he sits on the edge of the roof, staring at the city moving under his swinging feet, the roar dulled by distance and indifference.  A bottle of whiskey sits in his hand, only a few sips left in it. Gavin doesn’t remember when he started the bottle. He thinks it was still light out. But he isn’t sure. Either way, he doesn’t care.

The phone stops ringing and a few moments later a voicemail pops up. Gavin presses play, taking another swig of his drink.

Gavin. Stop ignoring me. You have to answer me. It’s been two days, Gavin. Three, technically I guess since it’s after midnight… Call me back. I fucking mean it, Gavin. I’m worried about you. We’re all worried about you. Just… Just let me know if you’re ok. That you’re alive.

Gavin scowls, chugging the last of the bottle then throwing it down below. He hears it crash against the building on it’s way down to the street. He doesn’t bother looking at the damage. He doesn’t care about the destruction anymore.

The phone rings again, vibrating the floor next to him, a different name flashing on the screen. Gavin still doesn’t answer.

Gavin Fucking Free. You answer this phone right fucking now. Stop being such a huge piece of shit and talk to me! Talk to any of us! Geoff’s half tempted to send a missing person’s report to the fucking LSPD just to get your ass back home. You don’t get to skip out on us. You can’t just go off on your own and leave us all in the dark! You better fucking call me back. You better fucking answer someone. Or I’m hunting down your ass and dragging you back to the penthouse. And burning all your clothes. And destroying your sunglasses. No more sticky bombs for you anymore! … God damn it Gavin. What happened to the bois? You know you can talk to me. … Fine. Fine, be a piece of shit and sulk all alone. See if I fucking care.

The voicemail ends and Gavin hadn’t so much as flinched at the call. He was no intention of even touching his phone. Sirens ring in the distance and Gavin turns his head towards it, as if expecting something. Maybe smoke. Maybe a fire, a crashed building. Maybe a familiar mask being on the run, police copters shining lights to follow it.

The phone rings again. It isn’t touched again.

Gavin… Gavin, please answer. Or even just text one of us. It can even be just random letters. It can even be a ‘sod off’. Anything to just let me know you’re still there. Still alive. Just let us know you’re alive. We can’t loose you, too, love. Please Gavin.

The sirens stopped. Only one vehicle, not a massive police force searching for an assassin in the streets. Or a thief on the run. It’s another hope shattered and Gavin lies back against the roof, eyes turning to the stars. He tries to trace the constellations in the lights. He tries not to dwell on memories of another pointing them out to him; mapping out their shapes, retelling their stories, delving into their histories. Memories of a night similar to this one but so much brighter. So much warmer. But there aren’t enough stars this night to make out a constellation. It never matters in the end. Most stars can’t shine in a city like this.

The phone rings another time but this time Gavin picks up. He isn’t sure why. He isn’t sure where he finds a voice but somehow he musters a ‘hello’.

“Gavin. You’re there… You picked up. Are you… alright? Wait, that’s a stupid question, you don’t need to answer that. Where are you? Are you coming home?”

“I miss him, Jeremy,” Gavin slurs.

“…You’re drunk aren’t you? Listen, don’t move from wherever you are, I’ll go pick you up, ok?”

“I miss him so damn much,” Gavin chokes, tears forming in his eyes. “I miss his eyes. I miss his smile. I miss his voice. I-I miss him, Jeremy. I want him back. I want him-“ Gavin’s voice catches in his throat and all his has left in him is sobs and tears and pain and pain and pain-

“I know. I know, we all miss him, Gavin. Just stay there and I’ll bring you home, ok? Let’s go home. Everyone else is waiting for you.”