73-as busz: terjengős öregasszony rikácsol, mert elgurult a járókerete. Visszahozom, nekem ordibál. Két big mama félig angolul, félig a saját nyelvükön veszekszik egymással a busz két végéből. Az öregasszony belerikácsol. Két arab, szőrmebundás asszony egy fél flakon büdös arab kölnit spriccel szét, az öregasszony rikácsol, hogy ezt mégis hogy képzelik, ő allergiás. Meg oda is kakált, mint kiderült.
Házi lift: Tele van a kezem, egy pasas óriási kék, teli szemeteszsákokkal pampog nekem, hogy miért nem segítek cipelni.
“Six months ago, a DeKappel oil worth nearly one hundred thousand kruge disappeared from my home.” “Quite a loss.” —- “I’ll be back in a few hours. Move the DeKappel we lifted from Van Eck’s house to the vault. I think it’s rolled up under my bed. Oh, and put in an order for a new hat.” —- “Yes. And for another hundred thousand I’ll throw in an original DeKappel.”
A Modern AU where Dorian is forced (asked to) pick up his mentor Alexius’ 6 year old kid, Felix, from school. He is able to mentally prepare himself for the possibility that Felix might dirty up his whole car with fingerpaint-stained hands and leaking juiceboxes. One thing he is absolutely not prepared for, however, is meeting The Iron Bull: a single dad with 6 very rowdy, very different-looking children.
A giant qunari with a bright pink mom van lifting 6 kids at the same time, holding on to his wide horns as he puts on their seatbelts. Now Dorian has seen it all.
So this shit is amazing. It’s like $6. It should absolutely be on your list if you shave. It’s made with shea, mango, and cocoa butter so it is soo nice to shave with, and you don’t have to worry about getting it all off, because whatever is left you can just rub it in and boom, it’s lotion! It makes me skin feel so soft and gets a super smooth shave and for once I’m not super itchy!
“So your leader put the severed head of his predecessor on top of his land vehicle as a sign of dominance?”
“Huh? Oh no, that’s his head.”
“Don’t humans need to have that attached?”
“It’s not his actual head, it’s…marketing.“
Jasper let out a disinterested grunt. It was election season in Beach City which meant that Mayor Dewey was obsessing more than usual over his chances at holding his office. Which was something that Greg never really understood since he couldn’t remember anyone else running against him…or voting for that matter.
“Hey, can you lift this up so I can wash the undercarriage?”
“Won’t it just get dirty the minute he moves the thing?’
“Eh, he asked for it.”
Jasper lazily lifted the van up with a large orange hand.
“What does he need a land vehicle for anyway? It’s tiny.”
“If he’s your leader there’s no way he’d fit into it.”
Greg gave the quartz a confused look.
“Mayor Dewey’s human-sized, he’s only a little taller than I am.”
“How can you tell who’s in charge then?”
“Well, humans usually vote for which person they think will make the best leader.”
“So you don’t have specific humans that are made to lead?”
“I mean, we did that at one point, we had kings, queens, emperors and all of that.”
“Like the Diamonds?”
“Pretty much…except without the whole being giant-sized thing.”
“Huh. So does that mean that I could lead this town?”
“I don’t see why not, but I don’t think the Gems would really like it if…”
“Pfft. If someone who keeps their head on top of a van can lead a bunch of humans, then I can do it. I’m a great leader.”
“Malachite doesn’t count.”
“That monster army doesn’t count either.”
“In hindsight that was a stupid plan.”
“You know if you’re going to run for mayor you’re going to need a slogan.”
Lewis was tired. It took a lot to make the ghost tired, considering he had an extremely high amount of energy. But he was now tired.
The case hadn’t been a hard one, but it had been a very long one. It had dragged out because the spirit didn’t want to move on, blah blah blah. And then the ten hour drive back home hadn’t been fun.
Especially when the van got a flat tire, adding on another half hour. Lewis had to admit though; he was amazed at how calmly Arthur had dealt with the flat, and how quickly he had fixed it. The only way the ghost had to help was lifting the van up, using his ghostly strength, because for some reason the jack wasn’t working.
But it was oh so sweet to be home. His deadbeats chirped and swirled around him, and then swirled around Arthur in welcome, excited for their return. Lewis smiled and gently patted their heads. He had missed the helpful little beings, though he wouldn’t admit it.
He was maintaining his human appearance for now, though his exhaustion made it hard. A little bit of rest is all he needed.
He disliked dropping his human appearance around Arthur. He knew it bothered the blonde; therefore attempted not to ever appear as a ghost in front of him.
He turned to Arthur and smiled. “I bet you’re even more tired than me huh? That was a long case.”