In my racist opinion there are two kinds of Latino men:

vehicle lowered enough that it’s barely not scraping the ground

sedan w a lift kit

Both are powerful but the second one is obviously more than the first

!!ATTENTION TO ALL MY LITTLE THIEVES!!! sells lift kits! i repeat, sells bundles of lift kits to make your shoplifting experience even better! i bought one of these and i can’t wait for it to come in the mail - it’ll come way more faster than your standard hook and magnet from aliexpress and i GUARANTEE that you’ll get away with lifting at a much cleaner rate if you use this bad boy. can’t wait to try it out and lift some cute stuff with it~

want to commit felonies but don’t want to wait for your shipment from china?? then stop by now and pick up these snazzy lift kits - like what i did!

happy lifting! ❤️

maramcgregor  asked:

Bitty spends so much of the year alone. Kent Parson suggests he adopts a pet. He may strongly suggest a cat. One may (or may not) show up.

“I’m not really a cat person.”

Kent gapes at the camera like Eric just backhanded him from three states away.

“I’m sorry, have I dropped into some parallel universe where you’re suddenly a shitty person? Everyone likes cats.”

“I don’t know why I’m just more of a dog guy. Maybe I’ll get a puppy or something when the season winds down.”

“It’s like I don’t even know you,” Kent laments, lifting Kit up to the screen. “How can you say no to this?”

“She is pretty cute,” Eric sighs and waggles his fingers so Kit bats at Kent’s laptop screen. “But just not for me, you know?”

“No, I don’t know, traitor.” Kent lowers Kit and frowns at Eric. “I’m judging you. Cats are the best. Dogs can’t take care of themselves when you’re away.”

“Says the man with a cat nanny for overnight trips.”

“Kit has a very specific diet, okay? She needs special attention.”

“I’m not getting a cat,” Eric says, final. 

Kent huffs. “Fine. Next best option: billet a rookie. They’re basically pets: you get to feed them and take them for walks and dress them in little outfits. They’re helpless. You’ll love it.”

So I work at a car dealership, in the internet sales department. Which is all fine and dandy, but I’m a woman, so when people call in, it…

Basically, any man who calls in immediately assumes I’m a receptionist, despite our numbers going straight to the department you call – you only get the front desk if you ask for the operator, or you’re transferred to them from a department.

But that’s not even what irritates me.

It’s when I have conversations with men who say “I’d like to speak to a sales person,” to which I respond with, I’m in sales, how can I help you? And they go on to say “id like to talk to a salesman.” And I repeat myself. And they finally say, “No. A sales MAN.”

Which, they all seems to assume sales men are going to know more but they’re wrong. I’ve worked here three years, and dealerships have such a high turnover rate that any man downstairs you talk to will know. A FRACTION of what I know about whatever you have to ask. Want a quote? Too bad because they don’t know how to quote you. Have a question about what trim comes with heated and ventilated seats? Too bad because these dumb asses barely know their own names because car dealerships will hire literally anybody in sales.

and then when these dickheads can’t get a hold of a sales man because those dickheads don’t even know how to answer a phone – or to nobodies surprise, can’t answer their question – they call back to the main number and ask to speak to a manager. Who will not take their call, and will inevitably send them to voicemail because they’re busy with actual customers who aren’t just trying to get people who are busy to answer questions they can easily google, or to make stupid ass offers like $10k drive out on a car listed for $15k plus tax, title and licensing.

Basically – I promise you. If you call a dealership and I answer I will be able to answer your dumb ass questions quicker and with more knowledge than any of the sales MEN you so desperately want to talk to.

This is isn’t 1955 guys. Women know about cars too, we’re not just here to transfer you to a man.

And when you do, inevitably, have to talk to me, don’t talk to me like I’m an idiot. Yes I know what fox shocks are, I even know what the cost for front and rear are. Yes I know about the lift kits. Yes I know about tires, no these are not aluminum. Yes I can tell you the tiny percent. Yes I can tell you the history on that car.

Yes I can check he fucking availability on that preowned vehicle it will literally take me thirty seconds because I can go into my computer whereas the salesmen will literally get your info, go to the key room, and call you back in an hour. At most, it’ll take me 5minutes to get an anyanswer – even to something I don’t know.

I work here for a reason. And it’s not to transfer you to a dude because you think as a woman I’m less likely to know about cars.

Three years. I know some shit. Most of the salesmen? They’ve been here three months and already on their way out.

kittrook  asked:

heLLO! I'm just wondering... is there a possibly that you can cook up some one shot that features kit, ty and a swan?


it was a hot afternoon in california, and kit couldn’t see. not because of the blinding sun (blinding son haha), but because ty was covering kit’s eyes as they walked outside. 

“so… where exactly are we going?” asked kit.

ty smiled and kissed the back of kit’s head, where he stood behind him, each hand covering one eye. “that you will find out shortly.”

“i swear, if you and livvy planned something-”

ty sighed, “we didn’t! i promise.” 

kit placed his hands on top of ty’s slender fingers as they continued to walk, until they stopped. ty removed his hands and kit saw a picnic before him- a blanket with a bunch of desserts and drinks on top of it. kit turned to face ty, who was smiling nervously. 

“do you like it?” asked ty anxiously, opening and closing his hands. 

kit took ty’s face in his hands and gave him a kiss of reassurance. “i love it. i love you.” 

ty smiled in relaxation and kissed kit, who gasped because it was so sudden. kit took a step back during the kiss, pulling ty’s shirt so he could be closer, but of course, kit slipped on the blanket, falling back onto it, pulling ty down with him. ty fell on top of kit, and kit grinned, kissing ty again. 

as things started to get heated, kit heard a noise while ty’s face was buried in his neck, a noise that ignited something bad in his stomach. kit kept hearing it and became distracted, making ty stop. he lifted his head above kit, lips puffy and hair messy, a purple mark forming on his collar bone underneath his grey shirt. “what’s wrong?” his grey eyes were concerned.

“i, uh… i just heard something. sorry.” the sound sounded again. kit looked around, not getting a good view because he was stuck on his back. ty looked around into the lake. 

“you mean that swan?” asked ty, pointing to the water. he looked excited to see an animal.

kit shot up. “it’s a fucking swan?” ty tumbled back. 

ty beckoned the swan forward, tossing it bread. it swam closer to the shore and kit shrieked. “fuck no!” he got up and ran a few feet away. ty looked at kit curiously as he walked next to him. “you don’t like swans?” 

kit shook his head, staring at the white bird with a weirdly long neck. 

ty laughed. “you’re such a herondale.”

“what does that mean?”

“one of your ancestors, will herondale, he was terrified of ducks. jem carstairs told us. they used to be parabatai.”

“ducks give me cold feet, too.” 

“but swans are pretty,” argued ty, tossing it some more bread. 

“i’m prettier,” replied kit, chin up as he turned and walked back to the institute. “not today, satan!”

just cormac things™
  • cookies & creme flavored protein powder
  • referring to girls who text him more than once as “stage five clingers”
  • YOLO
  • having surprisingly good time management skills
  • drowning his eggs in ketchup
  • sk8er plaid snapbacks
  • slathering his nose in zinc oxide as soon as the sun emerges 
  • owning the top ten high scores at a sketchy mini golf course
  • some kind of deeply polarizing accent that makes people want to either punch him or hug him
  • hit it & quit it
  • that will smith song about miami
  • bragging to the world’s most long-suffering barista about the hickey on his neck
  • paul pierce celtics jerseys
  • an absolutely enormous gold lion tattooed somewhere on his body
  • sportball bruises
  • crying during elimination episodes of american ninja warrior
  • toothpaste commercial smiles
  • uninstalling and then reinstalling the tinder app on his phone approximately fifty times a day because he wants to find The One, he does, but is that really what’s happening here
  • seriously wondering if amazon sells lift kits for his truck
  • not handling rejection well
  • skipping leg day
  • fight club (1999, dir. david fincher)
  • calling his mom like………every other day tbh
  • putting “i love lamp” on his twitter bio
  • indiscriminately buying every girl he hits on at the bar a cosmopolitan, even if it’s obvious she’s drinking something else
  • super bright neon colored board shorts
  • cracking his knuckles while he waits in line at chipotle
  • t-rex pez dispensers
  • signing up for a human sex & sexuality psych class and then immediately dropping it when he sees the syllabus
  • being inexplicably adored by small children
  • whatever the opposite of commitment issues is
  • those douchey ray bans that are made entirely out of wood
  • pretending to know how to surf
  • birthday pub crawls
  • quoting braveheart (1995, dir. mel gibson) whenever he’s losing at beer pong
  • winking at the hot single mom who lives in his building and wears yoga pants a lot
  • making spotify playlists for gatorade commercials
Camp Mockingjay - Ch 2

We asked, you voted, and now Katniss and Gale are on their way to Camp Mockingjay! So, here it is, the next installment of our story, brought to you by @burkygirl. You have 48 hours to vote on the direction of the next chapter of the story. Remember: vote in the comments, not in the tags! And don’t forget to spread the word by reblogging. The more fans playing this game, the more fun it will be.

Originally posted by byensflyttefirma-blog

The fuzzy blue dice I bought for Gale’s 16th birthday sway back and forth from the rearview mirror. We’re bumping along the dirt road that leads to Camp Mockingjay in his father’s old ‘89 Silverado, a plume of dust billowing in the air behind us. Gale’s shiny black baby is going to have a grimy film all over it. I’m still not sure I should have agreed to this, but after a whole day of driving, I can’t wait to arrive and get out of this truck.

From a hilltop we spot the camp nestled in the valley below, hugging the shore of Lake Panem. There’s a clutch of 12 cabins in the woods and a mess hall near the beach. I see sports fields, a dock and smaller buildings scattered about. It’s either a kid’s paradise or my slice of hell. I can’t decide.

Gale gives a low whistle from the other side of the bench seat. “Check it out, Catnip. Just think, on our nights off we can canoe on the lake, go for long walks in the woods, take the truck into town to catch a movie. We’ll get to spend the whole summer together. Plus, we get free room and board. It’s gonna be sweet!”

Keep reading

happygothe-epic-posts  asked:

May I have mini toddler baby galra keef and the dad's of mamora?? Please???

All your guys prompts are so good. I’m running into the problem that I have too many ideas for them xD So I’m slowly but surely getting through them! Hope you enjoy this :3

Also I went with baby baby Keith, sorry >.<

“What are you doing?” Thace gaped from the doorway. He had never seen his leader like this.

Kolivan’s ear twitched, but otherwise he ignored him. He grabbed a blanket maneuvering it so it wove in and out of the other blankets in the pile, hiding the floor from view. There were several shirts in the pile, as well as pillows. Kolivan tucked them in places, pausing in thought before changing things up.

He finally glanced at Thace, “I’m making a nest.”

“Yes, I can see that, but why.” He stepped into the room, stopping a bit away from the nest. He didn’t want to intrude without permission.

Kolivan snorted, grabbing a shirt and tucking part of it under a pillow. “If you knew, why did you ask?”

Thace frowned. He hated when Kolivan was like this. He had spent too much time with Antok, and it showed. “Just answer my other question.”

Kolivan sat back on his knees, looking at Thace with a small, but knowing frown. “You know very little about raising kits.”

Oh. Thace felt tension invade his body as he turned and looked over at the side of the room. Antok was sitting there, crossed legged, carefully running a clawed hand through the soft, dark locks of the newest addition to the Blade. Said addition chose that moment to yawn loudly, hair, ears, twitching. He looked over, as if he knew that he was being discussed.

Grey eyes looked directly at him, and Thace froze. Kolivan had been right, Thace had never interacted with a kit before. He knew nothing of what they offered, what they could or couldn’t do. He should’ve joined Ulaz in his research, but instead he was here, feeling as if this kit, this child, was peering into his soul.

After a moment small, chubby hands reached out, a mix of noises, chirps and coos, falling from the kit’s lips. Thace heard Kolivan snort again.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” Antok said, smirk overtaking his features. “Would you really deny a kit?”

Thace slowly walked over, whole body tense. One wrong move and he might spook the kit. Anxiety bit away at his mind, and his limbs felt heavy. What if he scared him? Even worse, what if he hurt him? Thace had no idea how kits were to be held, what noises were to be made, or how to handle a small cry.

What was he getting himself into?

Before he knew it he was standing before Antok, the kit making increasingly more urgent chirps. He stood there, still as a column. Antok sighed, lifting the kit up, and moving him towards Thace’s chest. His arms came out on instinct, cradling the child when Antok pulled away.

“Keith, right?” Thace asked. Keith chirped again, and Thace didn’t fight the low purr that escaped his throat.

Antok nodded, leaning back as he watched Thace, “It was the name he was given by his sire.”

Thace brought a hand up, supporting Keith’s small body with his arm. He knew that he liked it when people rubbed behind his ears, and he couldn’t help but wonder if the same applied to Keith. He rubbed at the spot, careful to make sure his claws did not scratch. Keith wiggled a moment before letting out a soft purr, eyes falling shut.

“You’re a natural,” Kolivan said from the nest, prompting Thace to turn. “Now, bring him over. He needs to get used to the nest.”

Thace would never say it to Kolivan’s face, but it almost seemed that he was jealous that Thace had all of Keith’s attention.

Cross Posted On AO3