lifes funny like that i guess

story time: presidential edition
  • so you know how everyone has a story
  • you know
  • like the story
  • like if you’re at a party and someone turns to you and says, tell the story
  • and you know exactly what they mean
  • the story
  • well 
  • i have a story
  • and not unlike most good stories, it involves three key components:
  • barack obama
  • pre-2008 reebok sneakers 
  • and the absolute earth-shattering horror you can only feel after making the worst mistake of your life

Keep reading

8

and it’s funny and sad, but only because this life will end, and it’s this secret world that exists right there in public, unnoticed, that no one else knows about. it’s sort of like how they say that other dimensions exist all around us, but we don’t have the ability to perceive them. that’s what i want out of a relationship. or just life, i guess.

things that actually happened in my high school

1. in the middle of am homeroom (so like 9am in the morning) a kid just broke out a pint of ice cream and started eating it. and i guess it wouldnt have been that bad except once people noticed, everyone started whispering and pointing until half the class was surrounding the table literally BEGGING for some. the teacher actually had to stop reading the morning announcements and give a speech on how you shouldn’t give death threats over ice cream.

2. this kid i was sitting next to once went home bc he got a massive headache after staring straight into a lightbulb for 2 minutes bc he “was bored and wanted to see what would happen.” he ended up taking 3 advils after that, got paranoid and made the entire table search “how many pills of advil does it take to overdose” on a school computer.

3.  there was a HUGE ASS fly in the room and the teacher thought itd be a great idea to kill it by throwing a folder 4inches thick with papers in its general direction; it ended up going across the room and hitting a poor, innocent kid in the face so hard that the other kids at the table scrammed and started yelling “EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF”…and when i tell you that this fly was huge,,it was literally so MASSIVE that this one girl almost started crying when it flew near her, someone actually tried throwing a cup of coffee at it, and another person started screaming ZIKA VIRUSSSS and something about how they weren’t vaccinated. and mind you the majority of the students are dressed in fancy attire bc of the national honor society ceremony that was later in the afternoon. in the midst of all this chaos, this one kid stands up, doesnt say anything and literally just ninja slams his bare hand onto the table and kills the fly all in one fluid motion, all without saying a single word. the entire class just broke out in thunderous applause, including the teacher, and then class continued as normal as if the past 10 minutes didn’t even happen

4. during first period a teacher who lost a ton of weight over a 2 year period was giving serious advice about the importance of living a healthy lifestyle while this kid right in front of the teacher’s desk breaks out a FULL mcdonalds breakfast meal and distributes it among the table

5. kids that were in apush and ap spanish held a joint prayer vigil the day before ap exams began, so that ap students could literally hold hands and pray to survive exam season as well as mourn our high grades. everyone who went was required to bring in fake candles and food, while someone else conducted a prayer service. a special invitation was sent using our school emails, you had to rsvp in order to attend, and it was suggested that you wear black. our ap teachers knew about this, and they agreed it was a good idea somehow

Y’know, it’s funny that you mention it, cause, like, yeah—I’ve actually made some unexpected friends after the whole Weirdmageddon thing?  I guess a good life-and-death apocalypse situation kinda makes social ladders vanish completely, huh?

For example, I thought Robbie was just, like, one of those goth weirdos that grew out of pods in the back of Edgy On Purpose or something.  But turns out, he’s actually pretty chill?  We both kinda bonded over how sucky our parents can be, and he loaned me some of his CDs in exchange for some of my makeup.

Not that I can’t afford all these CDs or whatever, but honestly?  Half of these bands are mega obscure and, like, I wouldn’t have even known they existed without his help.  I mean, have any of you guys even heard of “The Handlebar Bros?” Weird, but cool.

As for Gideon, not gonna lie, he’s still ultra creepy at times.  But I did find out he had some pretty good hairstyling tips, so we’re kinda testing the waters talking about that or whatever.  I dunno, things are still pretty weird there, considering he’s got wanted criminals following him around wherever he goes and stuff, but like, they’re not too bad.  

They’re basically butlers, just…on parole. I can live with that. Kinda.

But honestly, the coolest person I’ve started hanging out with is probably Wendy Corduroy.  Like, okay, I thought she was kinda a redneck lumberjack at first? (Redneck, not redhead, though, well, I guess she’s still the second one).  But like, despite that whole Northwest/Common lumberjack tension or whatever from that whole haunted mansion thing, she and her family are actually pretty…great?

I mean, her dad’s kinda wild…I think he like, wrestled a bear once or something…but Wendy and her brothers really know how to like, have fun and stuff!  And just, like…I dunno…she’s got a brother about my age, and he’s…sorta cute…

I mean, ugh!  Not like I’d ever date a Corduroy or anything. 

No, seriously, I wouldn’t. Cool as they are, they smell like yaks and tree bark. 

Friends or not, that’s just, like, not my type.

♔Pacifica N♢rthwest♔

*sigh* so I was looking for a kpop meme that I saw a long time ago on google images when I managed to come across this picture here:

and obviously its supposed to be a “funny” relatable post for kpop fans. But its not relatable, or funny. It’s just gross. Just because you love kpop doesn’t mean that you need to adopt “new Korean-like habits” and btw, what the fuck does that even mean?? You think its cool to just pick and choose aspects of the culture to incorporate into your everyday life for NO REASON AT ALL?

Like the fuck?? What are you bowing for? Bowing is mostly a custom in East Asia (maybe other places too I guess) but unless its a common practice in your country, what are you bowing for? Wow u can bow ur so koreein! Oppa cant w8 to bring u to hiz mom! Just stop.

You think its cute to sprinkle the language around whenever you want to? You think its cute to just accessorize it for no reason? And don’t even try to use the “but why are their english lyrics in kpop songs?” bc it’s literally not the same. If you pick up the phone and say 여보세요 chances are, the person on the phone will have no clue what you just said, so I don’t have the slightest clue why you are doing it. STOP.

*tries not to scream* :) :) :) Hey sweaty :) :) :) :) Not all Korean guys are kpop idols :) :) :) Not all Korean guys LOOK like kpop idols :) :) :) :) Not all Korean guys ACT like kpop idols :) :) :) :) Not all Korean guys want to spend time with racist, ignorant, fetishist who only claim to “like” them simply because they are Korean and fulfill their disgusting oppa fantasies. :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) 

*actually screams this time* !!!!!!!! Whhhhaaaattttt???? 

1: If you are a native english speaker and you “dont realize” (sure, Jan) that your speech patterns have been altered into that of a non-native speaker simply because you are into kpop, then you need help. Seriously.

2: Using the term engrish to make fun of idols who spend time working hard to learn your language, but can’t shake their korean accent, is disgusting and incredibly racist. You should be fucking happy and supportive that they are risking embarrassment to publicly speak a language that they aren’t fluent in, but yet you are making fun of them for it. Yeah, oppa definitely wants to marry you.   

I was gonna do more but I’m tired of this and I’m tired if y’all. If you know someone like this, check them immediately, If you are the person who is like this, then you need to work on loving yourself.  


«and it’s funny and sad, but only because this life will end, and it’s this secret world that exists right there in public, unnoticed, that no one else knows about. it’s sort of like how they say that other dimensions exist all around us, but we don’t have the ability to perceive them. that’s what i want out of a relationship. or just life, i guess.»

I guess relationships are just funny like that. It’s impossible to figure out why some work out and others don’t. Why someone can be so imperfect and still be the perfect person for you. Maybe, in the end, it’s not about changing the person you care about. Maybe it’s about learning what you can live with. Or maybe it’s really about learning what you can’t live without.
—  Jenny O’Connell, The Book of Luke 

Okay I’m not gonna lie, sassy arrogant Jasper can sometimes be funny, like here.

If only she wasn’t everything else that she is.

“We should go back to the temple and grab reinforcements.

“Good idea Peridot, hey Amethyst we should…”

“AH DAMN OUR HUBRIS.”

“You suffer because it’s what you deserve!”

UGHHH

That’s… a very sad way to think about life. Do you think Jasper began thinking that to justify her own self hatred?

Fuck Homeworld, seriously

WHOOPS I GUESS SHE CAN SENSE POWER LEVELS AFTER ALL.

Also this is a very well drawn expression.

Masterlist

A collection of fanfiction to waste your life on, just like I waste mine! 

Originally posted by dnpextra

DAN HOWELL X READER

Crush - Fluff

Another Day - Fluffy af

Forever - Fluff

Perfect - Angst (Kinda triggering…?)

Friends - Angst / Fluff

They Don’t Deserve it - Angst (Sort of trigger warning???)

Everything is Alright - Fluff

A Sweet Obsession - Fluff

The Perfect Mum - Fluff

Winter Fridays - Fluff

Caps are Cute - Fluff/Angst

Rain - Angst

Love, Unconditionally - Angst

Brotherly Love - Fluff

Savior - Funny fluff

True Love - Fluff, I guess angst

So Damaged - Angst

Part 1  Part 2

A Brothers Protection - Fluff

I Don’t Care - Fluff

Originally posted by shinyphan

PHIL LESTER X READER

Colour - Fluff

Little Star - Fluff

PHAN

Wake me up when September ends - Angst

Stay Alive - Angst

Bar Jealousy - Implied Smut

Beauty From Pain - Angst (Trigger warning: Self harm)

PREFERENCES

Dating Dan and Phil

YEAH THIS IS NOT A GOOD IDEA.

IF YOU WANT TO HELP SOMEONE YOU DON’T THROW THEIR SHIT OUT, YOU TALK TO THEM AND TRY TO UDNERSTAND THEM

DICK MOVE AMETHYST.

Wait, what?

Metal powers? As in… metalbending?

…what?

This….

I don’t know how I feel about this.

I mean we were having a talk about how Peridot is not about her powers but about what a funny and great person she is, and then…

I mean, you could interpret it like Bolin’s struggles in Season 3, where he couldn’t metalbend for his life but ended up discovering that he could lavabend. I guess the lesson would be “you can have hidden talents so don’t get sad because you can’t do a popular thing”?

But still…. if they wanted to go with that I think they missed the mark, because this feels… out of place.

Also Amethyst that was still a huge dick move regardless.

Okay Steven stop freaking the fuck out I’m trying to analyze the episode here.

Very over people who feel morally superior because they don’t participate in the ‘system’ of voting. Jokes on you have fun being surprised as fuck when shitty laws and props get passed in your town. Like I know these people whose answer to how shitty our two candidates are is not to vote but like…medical marijuana was on the ballot here, there was a prop that would impede the availability of solar panels, there was a prop that would allow war vets to have lowered property taxes and things like that…

and what’s double funny is the people who go ‘okay but that doesn’t have anything to do with me’. Guess what? One day, a prop will be DIRECTLY related to your life. Now imagine if everyone not in your situation went :shrug: ‘not my problem’

Like I said, just don’t be mad. Everyone talks about how people are being ‘guilted’ into voting but tbh that just sounds so immature. 

What you are is being held responsible for your participation or lack thereof.

thunderappledrawing  asked:

What do you mean by a good reason from crane doesnt have any friends? *smirks* guess we have to wait for the next chapter huh?

The reason will come sooner then you expect actually. Remember that this comic is a short one (… if you consider 20 pages to be short hhhh) since it,s a test to see if I can do a long run comic for UnderDecay~<3 I dunno if there will be a next ‘chapter’ but I might do tiny comic of what his daily life looks like which is pretty funny considering how dangerous he is. 

I went to see Evanna Lynch doing a live interview yesterday ♥ I need to say she really inspired me. It’s beautiful how she talks about her experience as Luna. It’s beautiful how she talks about Harry Potter just like any potterhead would do if they could have had the chance to be part of the movies, giving life to a character. So genuine, cute and pure. After this experience of seeing her not too far from where I was, I guess I will try to paint Luna Lovegood more. Evanna really, really inspired me.

5

“It’s that thing when you’re with someone, and you love them and they know it, and they love you and you know it… but it’s a party… and you’re both talking to other people, and you’re laughing and shining… and you look across the room and catch each other’s eyes… but - but not because you’re possessive, or it’s precisely sexual… but because… that is your person in this life. And it’s funny and sad, but only because this life will end, and it’s this secret world that exists right there in public, unnoticed, that no one else knows about. It’s sort of like how they say that other dimensions exist all around us, but we don’t have the ability to perceive them. That’s - That’s what I want out of a relationship. Or just life, I guess.”

Now that’s exactly what I have, and so much more. I can’t wait to start our life together. Pure, thoughtful, and honest love is real.

Dominant Jumin [Jumin Han x MC/Reader]

A one-shot that was supposed to be shorter and now it’s not but whatever! Dedicated to @preciousluciel who needs some more daddy Jumin in his life. I should’ve spent more time on this, tho.
Enjoy!

Title: Dominant Jumin
Relationship: Jumin Han x Reader

Summary:

Jumin’s come home after a late night at work, you have a glass of wine and decide to cheer him up.

Rating: Explicit

You find it a bit funny how every time you see him, it’s like that one day when you first stepped into the penthouse. You don’t know why, but you guess that it’s that unforgettable feeling you get when you see someone that you’ve talked with a lot for the first time. Strange, isn’t it… The dark hair, sharp eyes, straight neck. Still as charming and still as beautiful right now as he was then.

Keep reading