lifeofjasez

08.16.11 - Got a goal: Driver's License.

I’ve taken an interesting initiative; one that I thought it’d be next to impossible for me to take.

I’m finally practicing/learning to drive.

To most guys, it’s no big deal.
For me - it’s probably one of the biggest challenges I’ll face.

Why’s that? You may ask.
Well you see, I’m an interesting case.

I have absolutely no interest at all in anything automotive.
Which is kinda ironic, since as I kid, I love playing with toy cars and would collect like hundreds.

Mitsubishi, Ferrari, w/e - they’re all the same to me. Honestly I see no beauty in the things my friends point out while we hang out in the middle of the road “OMGG FERRARI GT something something!”. Or when they talk of their dream cars - what kind of brand model #, how it’s better than that brand model #…

I’m just… not into that kind of stuff yenno? I’d listen but… I’ll probably get really bored. The only car I ever thought was cool was Bumblebee’s car - Camaro or something… just cuz it looks cool and is yellow xD.

In a way, I’m actually a bit scared of driving.
Little do people actually understand how dangerous car accidents are.
They are indeed VERY dangerous and is the cause of death of many.

even if your driving is 99 percent perfect. That 1 percent can lead to a death =/.

Scary to think right? But I guess I have my parents to drill that fact into me.

The only reason… I was able to get my Learners was… a certain someone motivated me. Otherwise I probably still wouldn’t of gotten it.
It was honestly hell going through the book - I totally didn’t want to do it.
Signs, rules all that crap was all new to me and stuff I had no interest in.
I was actually pretty happy when I got it… I mean back then I had pressure from her…

… It’s a little embarrassing isn’t it? I mean, girls can be like this - their bf’s can drive them around but… for a guy? aha - that’s our society for you.
How am you going to pick up your girlfriend? Friends would always tease me.

Jose started getting lessons so I was just like “*sigh*, it’s been a year. If I don’t take my road test soon, my Learner’s will expire and I’ll have to take the knowledge test again…” (it was like hell going through the book =/).
Might as well suck it up. Going to be a man xD.

I got a good instructor from a friend’s recommendation and voila. I’m 3 lessons in now… and I guess it’s not that bad. I’ve always had the ability to do anything I put my mind to… and even better when I have a 1 to 1 instructor.

I must say though it’s expensive =/ $32/hour. 2 hours per lesson.

My goals to get my license by October. Wish me luck? =)

I don't have that much energy.

I don’t like half-assed. 
There’s 7 billion people in this world.

You’re either treated as if you’re in my life, or you’re not in my life. 
Pretty simple.

I’ll make the extra effort to remember you, miss you, to want to keep in touch and stay close.

But if you don’t bother and constantly expect me to… you got another thing coming.

I’m nice about it either way but there’s 7 billion other people in this world.
What makes you so special? 

I meet new people every single day.  
As much as I believe “everyone’s unique”, there’s so many people who are just “typical”. 

''of course you'll get so many admirers, you're like the perfect guy''

I guess a conversation struck me today that’s kinda keeping me awake I had with… a friend I guess.

I was explaining some stuff, how… guiltily I guess, I’m a total heart-breaker… and I do feel bad. Girls… like me… and… I don’t… in that way… x_x. =X. Why me?

And she just kinda went “of course you have so many admirers…!”

some girls go “you’re tall, you’re lean. Smart. Cute. Athletic, nice & funny. You even play the guitar and ’‘omgosh, your hair”.

things… girls say… especially younger. Aha. It’s out of character for me to be so popular…
When girls say that… I get speechless. Yes naturally I’m flattered but… =/. There are limits.
When you go to the words “perfect guy”. That’s crossing it.

Maybe it’s a pessimistic voice in my head.
Actually no.
The fact is, I’m anything but “perfect”. Please. Don’t call me that. Especially when you don’t know what you’re talking about.

I feel disgusted.
Only one person has said that and gotten away with it and me believing it at the time. And even that, I learned it was a lie.

Besides. If I was. maybe…

… maybe
Maybe you wouldn’t of left...
right?

=)…

The moment you convince me. The moment I’m yours. It’ll take more than words. Trust me.
Of course. The same vice verse with me and you ^_^…

I watched Digimon Tri with slight disappointment. As much as I appreciate the franchise progressing, nothing about it was that amazing. There was no narration or anything thus the story-telling felt lackluster and nothing much was happening to be perfectly honest. 

I was surprised of what they did with Taichi.

And if anything, I got emotional about it.
He’s changed. A lot.
He’s changed from his 14-year-old self. A boy who was so headstrong, sure-of-himself and full of other leadership qualities turned into a guy suffering to what appears to be PTSD, anxiety and full of hesitation.
He used to be so vocal. I was really surprised how quiet he was throughout episodes.Things like not knowing what he’s doing with his life because he doesn’t know what he’s interested in, that really hits home. Telling lies about how things don’t bother him when they really do… is that a guy thing?

“I don’t know. I like seeing my friends. They’re really far away though.”
At least, that’s the only thing that hasn’t changed. 

And well, what a coincidence right? I see myself exactly reflected in him.
Who’d guess one of my childhood’s favorite characters would develop into a character who’s basically in the same rut I’m in.

04.15.11 - Go Nuck's Go.

Its rare of me to miss a 13th of a month.

Guess I was way too tired this week to do anything. And if you want me to be honest, I didn’t really have any dark, emo drafts to post…

Well today was a little troublesome to get home since the Canuck’s won their second playoff game in a row. Skytrains were packed with fans, some drunk and celebrating… so yeah… it was a slightly awkward… got home at like 11:30 pm.

Friday’s are such long days for me eh? haha

In terms of badminton…

I’m still in a slump.

It’s kinda sad my racket strings broke again and my spare racket honestly… weighs as light as a feather (thus can’t hit).

Maybe my footwork got a little better… I don’t know…

Wow. 2 more weeks till IB exams. Fun fun.

Going to go all out I guess. Study study, cram cram… when I’m not feeling dead.

10.26.11 - I'm not gonna lie, My Class 7N road test is tomorrow...

and I’m nervous as fck.

I’ve practiced loads… and I should be okay in just about everything. I SHOULD be just fine but damn. I’m worried as X____X…
Things I’m worried about

  • Missing a school/playground sign by accident
  • Friggin shoulder checks
  • Going too wide/on the curb on my right turn
  • Changing lanes on a busy ass street
  • Parking near a fire-hydrant
  • I get nervous and mess up my parking
  • Making the decision to go pass the “point of no return” during yellow light and instructor (if douchebag) failing me because of it

They are just in the back of my head but… UGH.
I really hope I can pass but considering my non interest in cars… bleh.
//sigh// 

10.19.11 - "Technical Writing"

I’m working on my informative paper for my CMPT-105writing course right now and well, just thought I record a few thoughts.

I posted this on Facebook a while back, basically this was the first paper assignment from my Computing course.

I got 7/10. If you look at the paper - “There’s so much blood, it’s like a murder scene!” M.L. The problem was I wrote this paper like an English essay where in fact… I’m in a technical writing course. It became apparent that these two type of essays are completely different. 

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I became the joke of the period being the person who wrote the most but got an average mark and most blood all over my paper. 


“Too much fluff, why are you stating this?”
“Unnecessary statement, erase!”
“Too much personal input”
“This is not an English Essay!x10”

Something that made me laugh really hard though.
When the T.A said to the class “Some of you are such AMAZING and wonderful writers. ~ *everyone stares at me and chuckles including the T.A*, HOWEVER. The problem is - this is NOT an English course. And you are not writing English papers. This is TECHNICAL WRITING. So unfortunately you have to write technically.’‘ 

Technical writing is composed of hardcore facts, facts, and more facts. No need for hook, no catchy creative opening, no controversial opinionated rhetorical questions, none of that.

Both our informative and persuasive paper will be a compilation of flowing facts (of which they’ll label a ’'paper”) with limited personal input.
To put it bluntly - you’re a robot basically paraphrasing statements of information that have already been stated.

Please tell me… What is the freakin point of that… 
You’re not learning to write. You’re learning to paraphrase… 

When you’re writing this… my friend says “You gotta devoid yourself of all emotion”. That made me laugh.

IB english HL, you’ve failed me in Computing science essays haha.

10.13.11 - It finally hit me today.

Well.

It wasn’t me who recognized it.
I guess one of my new friends just noticed how down I was.
The simple “You okay?”

I replied with my my typical “ /sigh/, little down I guess…” reply.

It’s true. I’ve been a little down.

My eyes look a little lifeless and my bangs have grown long enough to completely covering them. I mean. It’s like the typical depressed anime character in a show right?
Oh wait.
This isn’t an anime show?
So I am down and depressed?

Oh brother.

Well, he starts off. “it’s different huh? And I guess it’s a little depressing for all of us. Even for you… coming out of IB and still having the same troubles as all of us eh?”.

You know I never really thought of it until he brought it up.
I guess in a way, it would effect me subconsciously wouldn’t it?

I was never the “snob” to think I’d have any advantage over my classmates in uni just because of the fact I took IB.
I explained how it wasn’t really a big deal or title I carry.
Hell, I don’t even consider myself an IB student… considering the circumstances.

It is however maybe I guess… embarrassing to admit that academic wise… - it hasn’t really effected me in Uni so far.

Like on Facebook, I posted my first uni essay - it came back covered in red. It was the class joke for that period… how the teacher stated how some of us write brilliantly but this isn’t an English course - it’s a computing science technical writing course. It was pretty entertaining… other than the fact I didn’t get as good of a mark as I wanted… (7/10… above average?).

Anyhow. Yeah.
Just thoughts.

I explained how academic-wise I was probably the worst student in that IB class…
how I really was just “emo” and “stress invitingly” enough to hand in the application and somehow miraculously got in and decided to stick with it.

I remember the emotions I felt last year.
I’m not mathematicly smart. I’m not a good writer. Hell the stuff I’m good at have no future…. I didn’t belong, how I didn’t fit in.
How… …
Oh wait.
Didn’t I receive that IB spirit award?… /sigh/

Contradiction after contradiction. Just… let me sleep. Please.
I’m lost. Well I guess I’m just down.

Today’s the 13th isn’t it? I haven’t posted something like this in so long.

I got the job.

Only one out of the 250 applicants receive it apparently. For me, it was on the spot too where they offered me the contract.
Yours truly signed it without any second guess.

I don’t care if people think I can’t do it. It’s full of stress and it’s a bit over my head given my age.

It doesn’t mean anything to me =).

I know my limits. I know what I can and cannot do.

If people can’t see that, it’s their problem. 
As much as I love being proven wrong, I love proving other people wrong just as much.

For the next 4 months, I’m the franchise owner of the Student Work’s Painting Company in Surrey =) 

Official Qualifications and Degree: None
Initial budget: 0
Clients: 0
Ambition to succeed: Over 9000. 

I really like white bread

I mean, I’ll eat whole-wheat or multi-grain or w/e but I like plain white bread.

I’m not stupid.
I know it’s apparently nothing. No nutrients, no vitamins, yata yata.

When I eat like sandwiches, everyone nowadays always comment
“Switch to grain” - and immediately go into the assumption I’m unhealthy.

Even those who know me… which is irritating. 

I don’t eat more than half the junk-food out there in the world. I never drank bubble-tea before in my life, never ate gum, never ate like any of the candies out there.
Burgers, fries? Forget it.

It’s just bread =_=. It’s not poison either.
You can’t die of white bread. So haters piss off.

*____* 

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It’s no big deal. I just like it. 

Thoughts on Youtube stars.

My family cut the cable down today.
Like, we don’t have TV anymore. LOL.

Why? Because we don’t really need it anymore. We figured none of us actually watch TV.

It’s all computers + online videos now.

I’ve been watching youtube vlog’s since grade 8.

It started with learning how to play guitar, because well - I had one and I wanted to learn how to play. With the simple act of googling, I’ve found many inspiring instructors. Best of yet - they were free.

My favorite channels?
Nigahiga, Kevjumba, Nerimon, Teamfourstar and Littlekuriboh (now CardgamesFTW). Oh yes, how could I forget - Wongfuproductions.

I lost track how many times watching these video’s made me laugh my ass off. Sometimes, we all could use some cheering up in our lives.
Not saying I rely solely on youtube but, sometimes - they really help and you’d be surprised how it can make you laugh till you have tears.

Not many of us are aware of the fact - they don’t get paid doing this stuff (unlike normal television) thus, they’re the ones doing you a big favor to kinda post videos online for your entertainment =).

03.20.11 - Welcome To Surrey

I’m just gonna welcome myself xD

Moved yesterday. Was drop dead tired from the manual labour of moving boxes, furniture etc.

Hey, I’m not gonna joke. For jobs like this, you need men. Strong buff men. LMAO. I stuck out like a sore thumb compared to our Mover Friends. I striked up conversation by asking their weight xD they were all like 5'7, 5'5 150-170 pounds? All natural muscles too apparently. LOL At least I was useful though… unlike my sis… *cough*. Haha, I impressed them too, I carried some heavy stuff they thought I couldnt ~ thats confidences booster right there. Rofl my dad praised me on my usefulness but kept comparing me to those guys, how skinny I am xP.

Anyways, finally setted up internet and telephone.

 Just setted everything up today, not really satisfied with the look of my room yet… but I’ll get to it later… post a picture up later. So far I’m content with the size! and I’m excited that I can finally put up all my awesome posters =P.

It’s been going alright. Of course, it’ll take some time to get use to but… in time.

Don’t worry guys, I’ll always be Chinatown-boy at heart.

It’s been 2 days since the concert and yet I’m still buzzing from the emotions I felt from seeing my favorite group live.

I’ll admit, it wasn’t on the best day and I was tired from basically doing non-stop activities whether it be work, events or other things for two whole weeks but it totally was worth going, I was completely running on fumes and adrenaline.

I love Epik High. It was basically the best concert/show I’ve ever been to. They sang most of my favorite songs, and I went ballistic every time one of them played. Songs like “It’s cold”  and “Umbrella” are just a few of my favorites that really tore a bit of my heart since I have emotional ties to those songs.
Of course, I basically sang along to everything of “Eyes, nose, lips”.

When “One” played, I just went crazy. They ended with “Don’t Hate Me” after a long encore shout, a song I waited the entire show for basically.

If they played “One minute, One second” or “With You”, I might have actually cried.

They’re such cool guys. Tablo’s commentary and the groups’ sense of humor in general, they’re just amazing. He’s my personal hero. Needless to say, I’m so happy I went and my friend invited me to go with him.

I literally said to my friends, “my life is complete. I can die happy”.

I started watching Shaman King again,

It’s one of those series where I wish lasted a whole lot longer.
The cast was a great group of character of which I grew fond of. It was a multicultural cast too - chinese, japanese, italian, african american etc.

I always wanted a care-free attitude like Yoh Asakura. Unfortunately for me, I’m always full of anxiety.

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One of the reasons I love anime/manga opposed to cartoons… you can either watch it for the nice effects/fights/eyecandy characters… or you can dive deep into it like me.

Gives you a bit of a different perspective really. Something more on the lines of friendship and “stop worrying so much”.

It’s like he says. If you can’t control it, no use worrying about it. 

Why didn't I have a birthday party...

A little late post. But trust me, lots of people have been asking.

It’s just a little complicated for me you know?

I just don’t know who to invite. Honestly.
When I say that: people go “Geez Jason, stop being so popular!”.

I guess it’s subtle but it’s the honest truth.
Thinking about how many relations I have with just so many people who I can call “friends”. It’s insane. I don’t know where to start with an invites list.

The last party I had was a sweet 16th, and even that I shared it with my two closest friends (we had 2-3 weeks range apart?). My two friends made the majority of the invite list for that one…


I’m the type of which I don’t want people to really go through trouble. Is it called being humble? Maybe. I don’t know. It’s all a bit much to have so much attention on one day in one invite you know?
I’d be red of embarrassment during the whole event.
I’m a big enough sap that messages + cards + wishes are more than enough. 

People suggest “lets all just hang out for dinner or somethin”
Well, for me personally, I’ve never hosted a celebration of where everyone pays for their own thing.
In my humble opinion, it really is no real “motivation” to go to those types of “birthdays”. We all just meet up for dinner, talk, talk and leave. I halfly feel bad making them come all the way, go through the trouble to a dinner that most probably don’t want to attend but are kind of forced to because “it’s my birthday” etc. Again, this is biased and just me. On top of that event - there is the guilt of gifts… and well again - I hate causing trouble/stress.

There’s also the fact where not all my friends get along with each other. Or it’s awkward to get everyone all together who don’t know each other. 
It’s common. Isn’t it? It can’t be helped so I just decide not really to do anything about it.

It saves the trouble & I don’t mind.
Like I said, I’m grateful for my friends and what they’ve done and their wishes.
That’s all that matters to me.  

Besides, it happens once a year. On that day and day alone, weirdly enough; I do feel energetic and a happy vibe so… I’ll be fine.

07.12.11 - Explorin' the city... more-so rec centres

Ever since I moved here, I never really had the chance to see the neighbourhood outside of surrey central/king george area.

Recently I was able to sign up for a Leisure Access Pass thus giving me apparently unlimited drop-in, admission to any Recreation Centre in Surrey for a whole year. I could go swimming, drop-in any sport session in the gym, or work out in the weight room. Pretty sweet I must say ~

I’m not exactly in the best mood… especially after yesterday. I tried to get my mind off it by looking in almost every rec centre and looked for all their badminton sessions.

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I went to Chuck Bailey today. It was exciting yenno? It’s nostalgic too, going into a new gymnasium. You’re the “mysterious stranger player” that no one knows. I was excited to finally go into a drop-in rather than managing one like I always do at Strath.  

It’s not like the clear one giant gyms in richmond, just a regular one where you can actually meet/talk to people.

Its funny. The moment I walked in, no one really cared.
I nicely asked a middle-aged lady to “warm up” with me. And well, as we rallied we talked a bit and stuff - where I was from.
In the beginning I went “go easy on me xD, I’m not that strong of a player”.

After we rallied, she just basically went “omg, stop playing with me - go play with the pros!”
She wasn’t really good skill wise but for her age - aha, she was okay xD. I could be such a respectable player (hitting it high, clapping when she does a good hit, aiming for her only). I guess she noticed it…

When we sat down cuz she got tired, she got everyone’s attention in the gym and went “Hello everyone! This is Jason, he is new here from Vancouver! He needs a court and a buddy to play with!”

I was so red. Aha, she’s a nice lady but that was just embarassing~ I just thanked her but I did the “its okay” signs with my hands (waving it back in forth saying no).

I made some new friends? Maybe I dont know… they were all impressed at my skills… they thought I played club and what not.

After playing for 2 hours. I learned I was the youngest there. Everyone else was either college students or adults.
To be honest, even though I lost a few matches (we always played doubles) - I was… probably the most skilled player in the gym… and its totally easily recognizable, I mean like I was coaching the partner I was with x_x and totally dominating rallies…

To be able to walk into a new place as the “new guy” thinking you’re the worst in terms of skilland walk out as probably the best player, impressing everyone… its an interesting feeling.

… I thought I quit badminton. But I guess it really is who I am eh?

Guess I had fun letting out steam. Next Rec centre is Guildford!

8

The night before our graduation ceremony, my roommate basically was like “Dude, lets suit up tomorrow.” - since we both got tailored made suits during our trip here for an amazing price. 
“I’ll do it if you do it.”

And we did, while everyone else was in normal casual clothes.

When the ceremony was done with, I had the silly idea of announcing to everyone “alright, usually it’s 5 kuai per picture, but today we’re doing a special deal where everything’s on the house. We want a picture with each and every one of you.”

It actually followed through where the two of us stood side by side and one person at a time would come in the middle, strike a pose and take a picture with us. It was fun, everyone had a good laugh and good time. Can’t post all the images because it’d look ugly so I only chose a few.

The guys back home would be so surprised that I’d do something like this.
You’d never guess someone like me a couple of weeks ago was terrified of the camera.