life. do you want to lose it

I love talking to you but we should stop. Because you’re always happy and it makes my heart hurt every time you smile at me because you have the best smile I’ve seen in a long time- possibly ever- and the world can’t afford to lose it. But you need to stop because all I can think about when you look at me like you love me is how much I really really don’t want to hurt you and how much I’ll hate myself when I do.

Height: 4'11
Goal weight: 115-120 (have a muscular build)
Being stressed/depressed can do a lot to your body. I gained a lot of weight at an alarming weight. After moving nearly 1000 miles and starting a new life, I’ve realized I want to be happy and enjoy life. Not only for me, but my daughter as well.
I’ve achieved this not through diet, but smaller portions. I eat everything I’ve always ate, just a little less. And I do have cheat days. I don’t work out regularly, but my job is very fast paced and I’m on my feet, going all day.
To anyone out there losing motivation, keep up the great work and love who you are. Life is too short to be down in the dumps!!
#beforeandafter #weightloss #motivation #strong

tagged by @trunchmunch Thanks for tagging me and sorry for taking a long time on doing this haha (^ v ^)“ anyway lets goooo

5 Things you’ll find in my bag:
- 2 notebooks, 2 folders and lose worksheets
-pencils and an eraser
-perfume
-some makeup (eyeliner, mascara, eyelash curler)
-my phone charger

5 Things you’ll find in my bedroom:
-a lot of clothes on the floor
- anime posters and drawings all over the walls
- a lot of pillows and blankets
-cosmetics on top of my night stand
-empty soda cans and dirty dishes

5 things I’ve always wanted to do in life:
- travel around the united states and other countries
- become a artist/nurse
- have my own art studio
- fly of a helicopter with a parachute
- make up my own slice of life anime

5 things that make me happy:
- my friends and family
- food
- stars
- puppers and kittens
- money 

5 things I’m currently into:
- Danganronpa
- Gorillaz
- artic monkeys
- pastel goth/ lolita
- attack on titan

5 things on my to do list:
- chores lol
- spend as much time with my friends as I can
- start to collect anime figurines and manga from some of my favorite anime series
- decorate my room with Christmas lights
- get a 3Ds and a gaming counsel

5 things people may not know about me:
- I speak both English and Spanish >:O
- I used to dance a lot back in my hometown in mexico and used to perform a lot of traditional Mexican dances.
- I once cosplayed as ryuoko matoi from kill la kill for a anime convention at my town (I had the sailor uniform version of senketsu and the scissor blade)
- I’m the "emo” from my group of friends
- from time to time I space out and think about how easy it is to actually murder someone with just a pencil

~Time to tag~
I tag @rosejiannahasnolife @georgyart @mewkek @nergyi @sweetiesola @alex-briellee @the–memes–queen @lazysmolartist @linkcalm @drawbunii @hopeymchope @hopeful-marshmallow and whoever wanna do this =v=/

Venus Signs

Venus in Aries: Emotional, enthusiastic and impulsive, you like to take yourself for a romantic adventurer. You fall in love with impetuosity and at first glance - and you just as quickly fall away. More demanding than you realize, you are affectionate, ardent and easily excited. Though you ultimately need a mental compatibility, what stimulates you in the first place is the physical appearance.

Venus in Taurus: Mistress of Taurus, Venus feels herself completely at home here. It makes you loving, charming, sensual to the extreme, and gives you a great artistic sense. All the pleasures of life attract you, starting with rich foods and ending with long and voluptuous sexual encounters, with the same person preferably. You appreciate constancy, and although you are capable of infidelities, these do not represent your natural mode. You need security, comfort, hugs, magnificent objects, someone who stimulates you, and an attentive partner.

Venus in Gemini: The planet of love in the sign of the inconstant mind produces witty jokes, many hours of happy conversation and strolling in bookstores, as well as an irresistible attraction towards intelligent and fast people. You are quite capable of maintaining a love story by fax. But in the absence of mitigating factors, your affections are easily influenced, and it is difficult for you to distinguish between what should be a great adventure and true love.

Venus in Cancer: A true nest builder, you get the deepest pleasures of your home and family. You are kind, sympathetic, sentimental, loyal, devoted, loved, and great cook (or at least you would like to be one). But even if you give the impression of having complete confidence in yourself, you need more than a little emotional encouragement. Your fear of being rejected may be hidden, but it is real. This may well be the reason you hang on too long, both to friends and the person you love. When you love someone, you want it to be forever.

Venus in Leo: Warm, open, loyal, in love with luxury, you have artistic sense, you are creative, you have theatrical attitudes, and you are in love with love. You feel passionate and express yourself flamboyantly. Love is an essential part of your nature, and you tend to define yourself through it. You also love the arts. But you are not about to run away with an unpublished poet, at least not if the artist in question does not have substantive financial reserves. You are happy when the money comes in well.

Venus in Virgo: When you are in love, you devote all your attention to it, analyze each interaction, reread your letters of love and listen to your answering machine to be sure that you have grasped the slightest nuance. You would do anything to be loved. But you can also criticize and control, have lots of opinions on how others should behave. Some natives with this position have noisy personalities. If you are one of them, people think that you are a wild beast of sex. In reality, most natives are modest, or even a little shy in bed.

Venus in Libra: You are affectionate, kind, warm and eager to please. True romantic, you idealize love and often have problems adapting to a real relationship. When the disappointment settles, it is hard, but you do not stay at home to mop. You are very seductive, and there is usually always someone on your track. This position also brings a high aesthetic sensitivity.

Venus in Scorpio: Thanks to the outrageous eroticism of the Scorpion, this position promises a ticket for ecstasy. And sometimes it is. The presence of mystery, intensity, and even a subtle suspicion of darkness excites you. Proud, passionate and seductive, you are predestined to deep desires, both sexual and emotional, and your love life tends to be tumultuous. In the best case, you are deeply devoted and deeply intimate. In the worst, you can be jealous and vindictive. But despite your reputation, you are also able to withdraw from social interaction and isolate yourself behind an invisible screen.

Venus in Sagittarius: Demonstrative, ardent and emotional, you consider love as an adventure, and not as a means of fixing a secure future. You enjoy your freedom, and your ideal partner is a person who helps you see the world and live even more aspects of life, not someone who restricts your activities. You have high ideals and you are attracted by highly committed people. You are also intrigued by people who come from backgrounds totally different from yours. You do not mind shocking people.

Venus in Capricorn: You are sensual in your sexual relations and constant in your affections, but cautious when it comes to reveal your emotions. You appreciate stability, ownership and righteousness, and you do not want to lose control. The disorder and the mess of emotional brawls frighten you, that’s why you do not reveal your feelings. Serious and sophisticated, you admire everything that is classic. In art as in love, you understand the need to control.

Venus in Aquarius: Open-minded, friendly and idealistic, you are attracted to anti-conformists and rebels, and you have a multitude of friends. But you are not the most passionate person on this planet, and you tend to prefer an intellectual camaredery to a romantic bond. You also need time for yourself, and you tend to take sex casually. The new techniques interest you, but not the display of passion. In the end, you are of the independent type and your heart is hard to catch.

Venus in Pisces: You are sentimental, you have the taste for art, you are devoted and ready to do anything for the beloved. You idealize your partners and sincerely seek union with them, but you have no idea what is reasonable and what is not. Other people find it easy to influence you, partly because you shrug your shoulders as a sign of impotence and accept that you are left with the crumbs. In the end, it makes you angry and explains that you are sometimes offensive emotionally, usually passively and aggressively. You truly know how to love, but you are sometimes too willing to sacrifice your own needs to satisfy those of your partners.

Day One Hundred and Three

-The first guest of my shift placed their babbling, giggling newborn on my conveyor belt for me to ring up, instantaneously paving the way for a bright and joyous day.

-I became ecstatic to find a roll of fresh, new, spring-themed stickers the size of my face at my register. The sticker renaissance shall now commence.

-I rang up an intimidating biker with a wizardly beard for his purchase of one single Dr. Seuss book. I now consider him a close friend, as I stand by my lifelong belief that not a soul who reads Dr. Seuss can do anything wrong.

-Shortly after the discovery of my spring stickers, I came to the realization that they were, in fact, a heretofore undiscovered strand of Christmas stickers that we had not previously had on hand. I do not understand why we have such a large and untapped stock, but I am prepared to make the most of it.

-A man in his sixties, phenomenally spry and smooth-skinned for his age, purchased forty dollars worth of dried prunes. I believe he may have uncovered the secret to immortality. While I appreciate the scientific progress this man is making, I will embrace whatever final form nature has in store for me so long as I do not have to give up my crunchwrap supremes.

-A mother asked her child if he wanted his shoe back, pulling one single Croc out of her purse. I am not sure what he may have done to lose his shoe privilege in the first place, but I am glad to see that he is earning it back.

-After I gave her a sticker, a mother told her daughter, “Say thank you.” In a brilliant moment of word association, she peacefully replied, “You are welcome.” I consider myself blessed by this small person and will live out my life in bliss.

-I befriended the kindest and most eloquent child named Bennett. We shared a lovely conversation, touching on such topics as how nice our respective names are, his recent go-karting accident, his subsequent recovery, and stickers. I believe I may have found my Best Man.

-A woman in her seventies attempted to run her husband over with her cart, gleefully yelling, “Beep beep beep!” Hopefully, I have just received a glimpse into my future.

-I have adopted a new motto in life, and that motto is as follows: “You have never seen true purity until you have seen an infant in glasses." 

anonymous asked:

so basically im cursed to remain fat forever? jesus christ i did not need to hear that today.

There is no permanent and safe way to intentionally lose weight. This is true.  

And that means that if you want to truly live a fulfilling and meaningful life, you will need to let go of the fantasy of being thin. You will need to do the difficult self-work needed to unlearn your internalized fat phobia. You may also need to learn how to eat normally without restriction and shame. All of this is difficult. But a lifetime of self-hate, restriction, repeated cycles of weight gains and weight losses, and declining health from the damage caused by under-nourishing your body is far far worse. 

And I know you are in pain right now, so I am being gentle with you, but I need you to think about what you said in your ask, and think about who you said it to. I am fat and my life is not a cursed existence. It is never okay to say such hateful things about fat people, including yourself. Don’t do it anymore.

Send a Number

1. How old were you the first time you fell in love?
2. Name the first person who broke your heart
3. How many different best friends have you had in your life?
4. Do you have a best friend?
5. Do you have any specific talent?
6. Do you fit into any stereotypes?
7. What’s your sexuality?
8. What’s your favorite animal?
9. What are your favorite pet names?
10. What do you think love is?
11.When did you discover your favorite band?
12. Do you want to get married?
13. Do you want to have kids?
14. When did you have your first kiss?
15. How did you lose your virginity?
16. Have you been cheated on?
17. How many times have you fallen in love, requited or not?
18. Have you ever rejected anyone?
19. Have you ever cheated?
20. Have you ever been in a long distance relationship?
21. Do you prefer the romantic or sexual aspects of relationships?
22. What’s your favorite thing about your significant other?
23. Do you have a significant other?
24. What’s your favorite thing about your best friend?
25. Do you want a significant other?
26. Do you like anyone?
27. Who was the last person you loved?
28. Do you have a celebrity crush?
29. Name a song that makes you want to fall in love
30. Do you think you’ll be happy later in life?

February Horoscopes

ARIES: Take a nice, firm grab of the dial that controls your aggressiveness and crank it way down. You can relax a little bit and still be able to defend yourself (this of course does not apply if someone crosses the line, then you have every right to be as aggressive as you’d like (however maybe the line needs to be redrawn because you have a tendency to get upset over very small things)). Don’t forget to breathe every once in a while. Things can work themselves out without you getting worked up.

TAURUS: Remember that not everyone is out to get you, Taurus. Yes, there are people in this world with bad intentions, but that doesn’t mean you can just push someone away because you’re suspicious of them. Talk to those individuals. Don’t jump to conclusions and assume that they aren’t good people; you might lose someone who really only ever wanted what was best for you.

GEMINI: Time to take a pair of metaphorical scissors and snip the negativity out of your life! If you know someone is dragging you down rather than supporting you and building you up, say sayonara!

CANCER: You know that thing that you want to do but you might be too afraid to do? Do it. All experiences, good or bad, are still experiences. Take a risk every now and then! Ask that person out! Put your application in! You can do it.

LEO: Try looking at things a new way this month, Leo. You might be in the midst of a problem or you might be trying to reach a goal you’ve set, and things are just not working out no matter how hard you try. Take a step back and try a new route. Do something different if what you’re doing right now isn’t making you successful.

VIRGO: You may not be meeting all of your own expectations right now, and that’s okay. This month focus on persisting through your troubles. Keep your chin up, Virgo. Good things are on their way.

LIBRA: Libra, you sort of have a tendency to be very good at picking out problems and flaws, and then doing nothing about them. Take a stand and start fixing things that you don’t like, whether it be with the world or within yourself. Email your senator. Attend a march. Donate money. Accept criticism. You can literally do anything that you think you can do.

SCORPIO: This month remember that not all relationships that you create have to be romantic. Creating a bond or a connection with another individual does not mean that by default that you have to be in love with that person. Cherish your friends and don’t focus on romance at the moment. 

SAGITTARIUS: Embrace your emotions this month. If you need to cry, then cry. If you need to scream, then scream. If you need someone to talk to, then find someone you can trust. Do not ever be ashamed of the way you feel.

CAPRICORN: Decisiveness is key. You may find yourself unable to choose between this and that, but you have to learn to make tough decisions, especially under pressure. Don’t let a decision keep you up at night. Do what you feel is right and good is bound to come of it.

AQUARIUS: Seek out some counsel this February. There are plenty of people in your circle willing to listen to you, you just have to speak. Focus on your needs instead of everyone else’s. You are a wonderful listener, and now it’s your turn to be listened to.

PISCES: Break out of your shell a little bit this month. You don’t have to do anything insanely drastic, but maybe inviting someone new over for a movie, or simply messaging someone you’ve never talked to before to get to know them. You have a very intriguing air about you, Pisces, and whether you believe it or not people do want to be your friend.

“We missed each other this whole time. Me and Andy missed each other, but me and Melissa missed each other too. It’s weird. She and I talk when we’re not filming and we’re like “How are you?” It’s f—ing bizarre! So it’s hard and it’s a bittersweet reunion. We enjoy it, but we don’t enjoy being apart. And that goes for a lot of us. There are certain characters where as soon as they start going, we start bawling. It’s kind of silly. But she’s definitely one of those for me.”

“She’s going through her own thing and there’s a reason why she separated herself and doesn’t want to be a killer anymore. And she’s losing herself, and I think Daryl realizes that. It’s a very selfless act. He tells her what she needs to hear to keep going. He does it for her.”

“I think she can totally handle it. It’s just not what she needs. Everyone’s path is their individual path, and she needs to be away from it because she’s losing herself and that world, when your whole life is changed and your whole world is changed and the dynamics have changed, and you start to lose yourself — then what’s the point, you know? So I think that he realizes that she needs to hold on to something. She’s been working towards it and it’s been hard for her, and he sees how hard it is for her to even make the choice to do what she’s doing now. And selflessly, he tells her what she needs to hear because he cares about her and doesn’t want to drag her into something that she doesn’t want to be a part of.” 

- Norman Reedus

I never really thought that friend break-ups were a thing. Yeah I’ve heard people say ‘we used to be friends’ or ‘we don’t talk anymore’ but I’ve never actually pondered the ending of a friendship.

I’ve witnessed girls going through breakups, and they always talk about the same things. The way one person stops showing interest,
how they talk less, fight about stupid things, stop feeling the spark. I’ve never felt that before. Never watched a person gradually lose interest in me, text me less, stop wanting to spend every second with me.

Never until now. And god, it f*cking hurts.

Who would have thought my first heartbreak would come from my longest standing friendship? But that’s the way life works, isn’t it? You watch the one good thing you have slowly slip away until you aren’t even sure why but suddenly it’s almost out of your grasp and there’s nothing you can do but wait.

So you feel yourself waiting. Waiting for the texts to stop all together, waiting for the hangouts to become a thing of the past. Waiting for that final blow. But nothing could hurt more than the realisation that there will be no 'final blow’. Because it’s already over. And you’re not exactly sure when, or how, but you know if you stop trying now then everything will cease.

And who can you blame but yourself? And do you know what the worst part is? You can’t even be mad at the other person, because what have they done except lose interest in you? It sucks when all you want is to be by their side, to call them and text them and see them everyday, but they’re done with you. And how can you be any more than you are now, I guess you’ll just never be enough.

So you’re left mourning the end of a friendship, without even truly understanding what’s been lost.

And now your heart is f**king broken but who would even understand because are friend break-ups even a f*cking thing?

I don’t want to lose you but at the same time I can’t be friends with you because I can’t stand seeing you with her.
—  Day 99
4

I Don’t Mean It Pt 6

Previous Parts: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

All the stress had taken a toll on your health and sadly, your body could no longer take it. Your colleagues had found you passed out in the hallway at work and that was when you finally decided to take a few days off. After deciding to leave Taehyung’s life, you were overwhelmed with how much you would be losing. 

You wanted to slowly ease out of his life. And you knew that once you gave him up, you had to give the rest of them up too. They had grown to be like your second family, and it broke your heart everytime you thought that they probably didn’t feel the same way about you. 

But when you saw Taehyung’s texts, anger somewhat bubbled up in you. He’s the one who didn’t want anything to do with you, so why did he care if you were suddenly sick? And who was he to get mad again? You clearly didn’t do anything this time around.

You decided to face him once he came back home. You figured it would bring you the closure you both needed, seeing as he clearly had something left to say to you.

The boys kept assuring you that they would come see you once they were back in town, but you almost dreaded the day they came back, knowing that it might be the last day you got to see them.

“You can do this Y/N” you told yourself over and over as the days passed by. You didn’t know when exactly they were coming back as their schedule was never really set in stone. As each day passed, you felt more confident that you didn’t need them. But one night your doorbell rang, and your heart sank. It was time. 


A/N: thanks for waiting for part 6! Who wants part 7? Also, I think for part 7, I’m not going to have any texts, hope thats ok?? PLEASE let me know what you think of that. 

Hamilton song asks act 1

“Alexander Hamilton”  - What have you done to get from where you started to where you are now?

"Aaron Burr, Sir”- If you could meet any person or book character that ever existed, who would it be and why? 

“My Shot”- What motivates you to keep working?

“The Story Of Tonight” - What unites you and your friend group?

“The Schuyler Sisters” - What’s your best response to a bad pick up line?

“Farmer Refuted” - What was one time that you stood up for what you believed in?

“You’ll Be Back” - What was your worst ex like during your break up?

“Right Hand Man” - Do people tend to rely on you?

“A Winter’s Ball” - Do you like to go to parties or stay at home?

“Helpless” - Have you ever fallen in love? What did it feel like?

“Satisfied” - What was the biggest sacrifice you made for someone you loved?

“The Story of Tonight (Reprise)” - How do you deal with crushes?

 "Wait For It" - What is your philosophy in life?

“Stay Alive” - What is your strategy when it seems like you’re going to lose?

“Ten Duel Commandments” - What is your method for dealing with conflict?

“Meet Me Inside” - What was the worst thing you’ve gotten in trouble for?

“That Would Be Enough” - Do you feel content where you are in life currently?

 "Guns and Ships" - Are you fluent in any other languages?

 "History Has Its Eyes On You" - What do you want to be remembered for in a hundred years?

“Yorktown” - What was your greatest success?

 "What Comes Next" - Where do you see yourself in a decade?

“Dear Theodosia” - How do you feel about kids? Would you ever have children?

“Non-Stop”- What do you want more than anything?

do you ever stop and think about how lost viktor was like he was legit wondering what the fuck he wanted to do with his life now that he was losing his passion and then all of a sudden yuuri fuckin’ katsuki shows up pole dancing and grinding on him and skating his goddamn program and he was just like “yep. that’s the rest of my life right there.” and then he just packs up all his shit and just moves to a whole other country ready to fuckin commit because yuuri katsuki was going to be the rest of his fucking life

Let me make one thing perfectly clear; If you decide to love me and you want us to be together I have to be your number one priority.
If I feel like I can’t rely on you, or if I think other people are more important to you than I am - I’m gone.
I’m not being a ‘princess’… I’m not demanding to be doted on and fussed over - all I’m asking for is the same level of love and commitment that I’d give to you.
Because when I love - I love hard. With me it’s 100% all the way…. You’re my one, my everything, my be-all and end-all… If you’re lucky enough to be the guy I love the sun pretty much rises and sets because of you.
But I’m not putting my heart on the line if you’re not going to give me everything you’ve got…. it’s as simple as that.
I promise you I’m worth it - but you have to choose me and only me…. Otherwise, you’ll lose me.
  • person B: *starts to caress A's thigh and whispers into their ear* hey....I see that you're wearing that new cologne/perfume that you brought a few days ago. It's driving me crazy...and what you're wearing its so sexy, you're begging for me to rip those clothes off......*starts to kiss their neck,.then whipsers* .......everyone left for the rest of the day, so that leaves the two of us for the next few hours. Do you want to me to maybe--
  • Person A: *interrupts* if this just to get out of doing work/chores today, you will lose all access to this ass for the next few months. Try again next time
  • [Please give me an A for trying, because I cannot do dirty talk to save my life. 😭😭😭]

I gotta tell you what’s going on in my life and in gay culture in Miami right now.

So my DND campaign ended. my character died and I was like “I still want to play my character!!” and they were like “Well it can’t be the same you gotta change the name!” Her name was Grey so I was like “Fine, I’ll name her idk Flé” No one laughed but my best friend and his boyfriend. So then my best friend then says “Hey omg so Jaxx should just rename her character Flé!” and EVERYONE burst out into laughter. And then his boyfriend goes “Oh my god Duasso you’re SO FUNNY” And everyone chimes in like “omg how’d you think of that” “omg that’s so funny” cue me losing my collective shit. and then it became a run on joke that duasso invented it and i had nothing to do w it.

SO FAST FORWARD, my old DND group was made up of important gay miami night life personalities (bartenders, DJs etc) and all of a sudden my best friend and I are heading to his boyfriends bar and he says “i just want you know people…people are the using the word.” “What do you mean” and as I say that, two gay boys walk out of the bar going “Oh my god that’s so flé”

TURNS OUT. MY BEST FRIEND AND HIS BOYFRIEND AND MY DND ASSHOLES ARE NOW USING THIS WORD AND IT APPARENTLY MEANS A COPYCAT/IMITATOR/IMPOSTER (FOR OBVIOUS REASONS) AND NOW PEOPLE ARE USING IT AND I HEAR THEM AND MY BEST FRIEND AND HIS BOYFRIEND ARE TAKING CREDIT FOR IT THIS STUPID WORD THAT STARTED OFF AS A STUPID JOKE THAT HAS NOW BLOWN UP INTO NEW GAY LINGO IM???

and just. sigh. my best friend is so flé

Dating Zach Dempsey would include:

Originally posted by knightlley

- Him teaching you how to play basketball, because no girl of his is going to be useless at it, but him never losing faith, even if it took weeks for you to even be able to shoot.

- All the cuddles all the time!! he’s such an affectionate person so whenever he can get a cuddle, he will: seeing you after school; watching a movie, or just spooning you to sleep.

- Forehead kisses! due to him being a literal giant it’s the perfect excuse to kiss your forehead.

- You being his #1 fan about everything, not caring if he wants to do basketball for the rest of his life (which i mean c’mon would not be a bad thing, look at him) or to follow his dreams and become a marine biologist.

- Having intellectual debates, because he’s one of the smartest people you know, like Zach!! what is the probability of us ever having met?? what if god is an illusion? the theory of parallel universes! (because you both believe in those)

- Having the best relationship with his mum and sister, because they’re wonderful people who love Zach as much as you do.

- Him always asking you for permission for anything he does, “babe, is it okay to kiss you?” or “are you sure you want this?” “WE’VE BEEN DATING FOR YEARS DEMPSEY” because if he ever pushed you too far or hurt you in any ways, it would kill him, because you’re the best thing that’d ever happened to him.

- Wearing his letterman jacket everywhere because you know how much he loves it. It comes down way past your bum, but he insists you look to die for in it.

- Flirting in class, you always glance over to him, because why wouldn’t you? he’s gorgeooouusss, and every time he catches you, he’ll wink, and it will make your stomach flip every time, because damnnn how does this boy still cause such feelings?

- After class, having to make-out in a store cupboard because Zach freaking Dempsey is irresistible, and insatiable.

- Being the cutest couple in the entire school, and being elected prom king & queen because you two were honestly goals. 

sentence prompts ➝  reign
  • ❛ You have no power because I’ve taken it all away. ❜
  • ❛ How many people have you killed? ❜
  • ❛ I know I’ve made mistakes. ❜
  • ❛ But it’s all meaningless without you. ❜
  • ❛ Have you ever wanted something so much that the fear of not getting it makes you wonder if you ever should have wanted it at all? ❜
  • ❛ Something we both want so deeply warrants a bit of fear. ❜
  • ❛ No one will ever keep us apart again. ❜
  • ❛ Men in general like to win ❜
  • ❛ Well, your taste in men always did leave something to be desired. ❜
  • ❛ In the darkest of times you were my conscience. ❜
  • ❛ The more we try to help each other, the more harm we do. ❜
  • ❛ Have you learned nothing? ❜
  • ❛ I lose everyone I love. ❜
  • ❛ What odd turns our lives have taken. ❜
  • ❛ Your life is more valuable than this. ❜
  • ❛ My life is once again the sum of my choices, not someone else’s crimes. And I choose to help my friends. ❜
  • ❛ Tell me, what would hurt more. Knowing the person you love will die, or knowing they’re alive but you cannot have them? ❜
  • ❛ I don’t give my heart or give up easily. ❜
  • ❛ Despite your heartbreak, I must warn you, I show no mercy. ❜
  • ❛ I’m not sure I trust my own fate anymore. ❜
  • ❛ You have to admit, your fate does have a sense of humor. ❜
  • ❛ I need to forget a ridiculous, childish idea that I could love someone, they could love me, and nothing else mattered. ❜
  • ❛ Choose because of what you think, not what others might. ❜
  • ❛ There is always risk. At least when you love someone it’s worth taking. ❜
  • ❛ I never said I was a good person, but one can receive good advice from a bad person.❜
  • ❛ Please, let there be one honest thing between us. ❜
  • ❛ You want to hear something honest? I would do anything to keep you. ❜
  • ❛ Love is never simple. Not that I’m any expert. ❜
  • ❛ We can’t do this. ❜
  • ❛ We were supposed to dance under the stars. ❜
  • ❛ Maybe there is no magic but what we make for ourselves. ❜

Imagine Chris admitting you’re his celebrity crush.

A/N: This is a request from @unstainedlight and it took me forever to get to, I’m so sorry. But here it is, finally! It’s super cute and I’d a lot of fun writing it (as in I giggled a lot) Enjoy! X

You arrived on the ‘The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon’ set shortly after your husband, Chris. The two of you came in separate cars because you’d come from your movie set, whereas he came from the hotel you were put up in while working in New York; he wasn’t due to film ‘Avengers: Infinity War’ until May. Both you and Chris had been invited by Jimmy Fallon to do your own respective interviews on your upcoming movies and pending projects, or so the both of you thought. As it turned out, those reasons were just bait given to your publicists to get both of you on his set at the same time without raising suspicion; the man had something cheeky planned.

Jimmy had interviewed Chris numerous times now- one could say that they were friends, so Jimmy knew about Chris’ crush on you. He’d said numerous times now, in most of his interviews, that you were a beautiful actress he admired, with values, morals, and ethics that made him think very highly of you; or in short, that you were his celebrity crush. The thing that Jimmy didn’t know, however, was that they two of you were actually married. You’d met Chris in 2014 while having lunch with your friends, Emily Blunt and John Krasinski. Chris was a good friend of John’s who thought the two of you would hit it off, and you did almost immediately.

After that day, the two of you starting secretly dating under the media’s radar because neither of you wanted the stress that came with having your relationship in the limelight. Both of you had been in the industry for a while now, so you knew what it was like when you started dating someone. The constant scrutiny, the tabloids and the rumors, the analyzing of everything you do and say, the haters and cynics calling the relationship a publicity stunt and waiting for it to blow up- you didn’t want to deal with that. Those were the things that usually ended a Hollywood relationship which was the last thing you and Chris wanted, so things between the two of you were kept under a tight lid.

Your friends and family knew about the relationship, but everyone did as you both asked and kept what they knew to themselves. During your time as boyfriend and girlfriend, you attended all red carpet events alone and took no photos together so you wouldn’t risk revealing your relationship to the world. It was unpractical, difficult, and occasionally lonely, but it worked out. Of course you weren’t going to keep it a secret forever, at some point you were going to want to reveal to the world that you were with the best person you’d ever met; vice versa. You’d both agreed to keep things hush until things were more solidified, and now that the two of you were happily married- the relationship was to be revealed at your movie premiere which was in a week’s time. But perhaps Jimmy’s cheeky little plan to embarrass Chris would move that announcement up.

“Hey stranger,” you called as you caught Chris in your dressing room mirror; he was up first and was walking towards the stage. He poked his head in and shot you a smile which you reciprocated. “Good luck out there, Captain America,” you gave him a two finger salute which made him laugh as he disappeared around the corner with the stage manager.

“Oh my God,” your makeup artist, Arizona, let out the breath she was holding in. “He is so freaking handsome,” she said then chuckled when you laughed. “I’m so glad I’m not the one doing his makeup, I wouldn’t be able to focus.” You said nothing in response as you closed your eyes to let her finish doing your eyeshadow. “Are the two of you friends?”

“I guess,” you shrugged nonchalantly.

“You know you’re his celebrity crush, right?” She was grinning excitedly when you opened your eyes. “As a fan of both you and Chris Evans, I can say that the two of you would make such a great couple.” You had to bite the inside of your cheek to stop from laughing. “You two should really make a movie together, ‘cause that’d be amazing.”

“Yeah,” you nodded in agreement.

“Okay,” she sprayed your face with setting spray then tucked a stray hair in its place. “All done, Y/N. You look amazing as always,” she complimented with a sweet smile. “And as always, it’s been an honor to do your hair and makeup. If you ever need a permanent stylist, I’m your girl.”

“Thanks Arizona,” you smiled then saw the stage director enter the room through the mirror. “And that’s my cue,” you told her and rose to your feet. You followed the stage director towards the stage and watched the TV, waiting for Jimmy to introduce you and bring you out.

“So Chris, I’m not sure if you’ve seen the interview your buddy Sebastian did with James Cordon a while back.” Chris’ eyes narrowed slightly as he pondered; he watched most of the interviews his friends and cast mates did. “The one with his celebrity crush, Sharon Stone.” Jimmy reminded him; Chris laughed and nodded. “Well, taking a page out of Cordon’s book- I thought I’d bring your celebrity crush here tonight so you can have the same opportunity to try and win her over with your charm and good looks.”

“Oh God,” Chris laughed. “This is not going to end well, I can tell already.”

“Let’s give Y/N Y/L/N a hand,” Jimmy called and you walked out right on cue. Chris caught your eye and you both tried hard not to crack even though the smiles you had on your faces were enough to give your big secret away. “C'mon Chris,” Jimmy teased as he rose to his feet, joining the audience in giving you a standing ovation. “Get on your feet, give a good impression.”

“Right, sorry.” Chris jumped onto his feet and clapped for you until you got to his side. “Hi Y/N, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” He shook your hand then leaned forward to give your cheek a quick peck. “We’re going to blow this, aren’t we?” He whispered into your ear before pulling away; you subtly nodded in response.

“Hi everyone,” you waved at the audience and they cheered for you. “Oh wow,” you began addressing Jimmy as the three of you took your seats. “It is so good to be back here. How are you, Jimmy?” You asked and he laughed.

“I’m meant to be the interviewer here, Y/N,” he joked and you chuckled. “I’m great, and you look great too. The New York air must agree with you. You’ve been out here for a while now, right?” You nodded. “You’re filming your latest movie which takes place in Manhattan, are you having fun?”

“Crazy fun,” you nodded. “I love New York, it’s where I started my career and where some of my best friends live so- yeah, I’m having a lot of fun. New York’s basically like a third home to me,” you told him; beside you, Chris smiled because he knew you refer to LA- your hometown- as home and Boston- his hometown- as your second home.

“Third home?” Jimmy quizzed. “Isn’t the saying second home?” You nodded, chuckling softly. “Okay then, so if New York is your third home then- where’s your second home? I know LA is your hometown, so that’s number one. What’s number two?”

“Boston,” you answered, trying not to smile too widely as you glanced at Chris; he couldn’t hide his grin. “It’s um- it’s a place close to my heart, a lot of my friends are from Boston- like John Krasinski, and it’s also where I fell in-love actually, with a Bostonian.”

“You’re in-love?” Jimmy looked over at Chris and pressed his lips together. “Aw, that’s a bummer.” Both you and Chris laughed at that. “Here I was thinking I was going to set the two of you up 'cause you know, Chris- Captain America, is not shy about admitting who his celebrity crush is.” You chuckled softly as you nodded. “He’s from Boston too, so if you think he’s better than your current love- it wouldn’t be hard to jump ship. Right, Chris?”

“Well,” Chris winced, trying hard not to crack. “If she’s already in-love with someone else, y'know- I’m not going to interfere with that.” You bit the inside of your cheek, stifling your laughs. “If she were single, of course I’d go for it, but she’s in a relationship, man. I can’t do that to a brother,” he tried not to laugh as he said that.

“Think about this, Y/N,” Jimmy tried to sell your husband to you. “Chris is a fan of yours, he is practically in-love with you already.” You looked over at Chris and he nodded in agreement with Jimmy’s statement, holding a serious face that made you want to laugh. “And c'mon, how great can your current guy be compared to Captain America? I mean- the choice is simple, right? Right, guys?” He asked the audience and they cheered. “The two of you would be the new Brad and Angelina, minus the divorce 'cause you’re Chris’ celebrity crush and I doubt he’d do anything to risk losing you.”

“Oh, definitely not,” Chris agreed and you turned away, laughing. “I’d treasure you for the rest of my life, Y/N.” He took your left hand in his, lifting it into vision but hiding your wedding bands. “I’d love you in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, till death do us part. But I think you already know that from when we exchanged wedding vows,” he said and revealed the wedding bands; everyone gasped, including Jimmy. “Yeah,” Chris began as you both turned to a stunned Jimmy, chuckling. “I didn’t need your help 'cause I already married my celebrity crush.”

“Oh my God,” Jimmy’s jaw dropped. “How- when- are you guys even- Wait, what?” He laughed, bouncing excitedly in his chair. “When did this even happen? I didn’t even know that you guys knew each other, let alone dated! And you’re married? What the fu-” he cut himself off, his smile wide. “That is amazing, wow! Congratulations, you two! Wow!” The audience cheered and clapped when Jimmy did. “This is exclusive right? No one knew before this moment?”

“Our friends and family know,” you told him, chuckling. “But no one else did, so yes. This is an exclusive on your show. I’m married to Chris Evans,” you said and Chris brought your entwined hands to his lips, kissing the back of your hand.

“Yup,” Chris grinned at you then turned to the camera, “I’m married to my celebrity crush.”