life-stinks

harry gets lots of offers from historians, journalists - just about anyone willing to pick up a quill tbh - but the only authorised biography that gets published in his lifetime is co-written by luna lovegood and lee jordan. part graphic novel (images courtesy of dean thomas), part choose your own adventure, and roughly 80% quibbler-esque misinformation, it is common knowledge that if you want an autograph, the only paper he’ll sign is that book.

6

Gravity Falls Character Moodboard: Mason “Dipper” Pines

Look, real life stinks sometimes, I’m not gonna lie. But there’s a better way to get through it than denial, and that’s with help from people who care about you. It’s how we’ve gotten through our whole lives.

  • what she says: i'm fine
  • what she means: so i was sitting there in the bar and this guy came up to me and he said, "my life stinks", and i saw his gold credit card and i saw the way that he was looking at people across the room, and i looked at his face and, you know, quite a good looking face, and i just said, "dude, your perspective on life sucks."
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OK THIS SWITCH LITE IS SUPER DUMB NGL

NOT TO SOUND LIKE A RICH BASTARD BUT THIS JUST TAKES AWAY THE “SWITCH” PART OF THE SWITCH

you cant play smash with a gamecube controller on this since you need the usb port of the dock

theres no dock so you cant play it on the big screen which is a Huge part of it for me and like all i play it on

the joycons are Notorious for being cheaply made and its uncommon but theyve been known to drift so if you cant replace them what do you do???? they best be made better

i know this is for people who play it undocked and are afraid of the $300 price but this seems like a downgrade. i cannot fathom people who play undocked. because this

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is SO much more flat and uncomfortable to hold and control than this

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i like having both options but my mom and i see this more as a home console because the battery life stinks, its small (and for what it can dish out, like botw, is much more enjoyable on the big screen), and i like the more gamecube-shaped joycon holder than the switch in handheld mode which feels too wide for me

also no rumble sucks the rumble makes stuff really immersive. i feel like $300 is a much better investment in the long run if you ever do want to play it on your tv and get all the nice add on stuff like detachable/replaceable joycons, rumble, and gamecube controller support

cooking in botw

me: i should try messing around with all the ingredients i have in my inventory, see if there’s any recipes i haven’t discovered yet. maybe i’ll brew up an elixir or two while i’m at it

also me, 2 seconds later: (dumps five hearty durians into pot) give me life o magic stink fruit

i don’t know if it’s just me but i don’t enjoy narratives about heroes becoming average people with personal problems they refuse to face and a life they hate but tolerate and a 9-to-5 job they barely care about that they only go to to pay the bills because that’s literally what i have to deal with every day of my sad stinking life

i like imagining things like ‘what if my actions mattered’ and ‘what if i had a cool group of friends i could talk to’ not ‘what if my heroes from when i was in a terrible place in my life ended up just as pathetic and just as much of a general failure as me’

so yeah i’m not gonna be keeping up with the epilogue directly i’ll just absorb the major plot points through osmosis and/or fanart

Life Stinks || Ness & Jacks

Vanessa cared about Jackson deeply, and she would do anything she could to pay him back. So when he told her that there was a position open at his school, she jumped at the opportunity. But when she realized it was in the cafeteria, it was too late, she already told him that she would do it. So now, here she was stuck behind a lunch counter, scooping out mashed potatoes to snot nosed kids. She was in hell, and all she wanted to do was get the hell out of this stupid hair net, stupid polyester uniform, and ugly shoes. This was a nightmare. And it didn’t help that the fourth grade teacher Ms. King was always sniffing around Jacks, and flirting with him. She was trying not to be that jealous girlfriend, but she warned Jacks that she was crazy, and if this broad didn’t step off, she was going to lose it. She decided to go over and remind him that he had a girlfriend. She grabbed the rag, and walked over to their table, “Oh, don’t mind me, just cleaning the table.” She waved the rag right at that heffa’s face.

8

Life stinks, that’s why. People stink, too. I wish everyone would just die, but unless the world ends that won’t happen. I want to forget everything, but I can’t unless I slam my head somewhere and get amnesia. But, if I dance, it’s damn tiring. Then I can’t think about anything else.

GILMORE GIRLS SENTENCE STARTERS

  • there have been very few moments in my life where I have actually wished I had one of those enormous cream pies you can just smash in someone’s face, but this is definitely one of them.
  • if you need some love, get a hooker. ’  
  • i’m the perfect storm of caffeine and genetics
  • red meat kills, enjoy.
  • i can go from zero to studying in less than sixty seconds.
  • i don’t think you had a childhood. i think you came out a bitter, surly killjoy.
  •  are you going to kiss me now? you are so incredibly predictable.
  • okay, see, last night when i said to you: “tomorrow, no matter what, make sure i get up at seven,” what i actually meant was: “tomorrow, no matter what, make sure I have the option of getting up seven, in case, when seven comes, I actually wanna get up.” which, as it happens, I didn’t. 
  • that’s the last time i buy something just because it’s furry.
  • give me a burger, onion rings, and a list of people who killed their parents and got away with it. i need some heroes.
  • jerk! ass, arrogant, inconsiderate, mindless, frat-boy, low-life, butt-face, miscreant ! ’
  • this town is like one big outpatient mental institution.
  • i think it’s good to be adopted. if you get sick of them, you just dump this set and go find the originals. ’ 
  • i love you, you idiot ! ’ 
  • now, did anyone ever to tell you to picture the audience in their underwear? well, don’t do it. i did it once and i had nightmares for a week. bulgarians in speedos. ’ 
  • i feel like a used car.
  • my life stinks. hey, let’s look into each other’s eyes and say “i wish i were you” at exactly the same time - maybe we’ll pull a freaky friday. ’ 
  • i just… like to see you happy.
  • it’s a friday night. we should be out, i don’t know, partying with the homies.
  • i can’t date. i’m not genetically set up for it.
  • ‘ god, you’re like a pop-up book from hell !
  • you lost me at carrots, which was the first draft of ‘you had me at hello’. ’
  • every day that you breathe you make my life harder. ’ 
  • dude, what’s a bulwark?
  • ladies never get their own eggrolls. ladies never get their own anything. they don’t even get their own ideas. ’
  • you can’t always control who you’re attracted to, you know? i think the whole angelina jolie/billy bob thornton thing really proves that.
  • only prostitutes have two glasses of wine at lunch !
  • i pierced my nose. and within an hour of having it done, my nose swelled up to four times its normal size, blocking all nasal passage, making it impossible to breathe. i went to the emergency room, where they pried the thing out of my nose and shot me up with antibiotics. i spent the night with an ice pack strapped to my face. ’ 
  • it takes a remarkable person to inspire all of this. ’