life-solutions

Important lessons from life drawing

I was thinking about what life drawing can teach me and if I need it and why. Actually those are valid questions to ask. We shouldn’t just do thing because someone says so. We should be able to understand how things we do affects us and how it will be useful for our work. We should know If we can improve and how from the experience. If you want life drawing to help you develop your skills you need to identify your problems firsts. But the usual problems of many artists are the fear of drawing, fear of failing, putting too much pressure on making the perfect picture. In the end artists don’t even start drawing and have problems with coming up with ideas from imagination.I found a perfect solution in life drawing and I want to share why I think so and how it helps me personally.

  1. The most important reason is overcoming the fear of drawing. It helps me with starting and not putting too much thought into drawing. It puts me in the moment and forcing me to stop hesitating. I need to stop being shy about putting lines on paper, especially when the subject are people. It takes me out of my comfort zone that is in front of computer. It’s challenging to go outside and draw in the middle of crowded coffee shop. I will just draw without thinking just to be over with it. The most important would be produce finished piece, not the most perfect image ever. Also I would advice to pick a tool that you can’t erase. Be aware that you can’t undo the lines and be confident about that. My tool of choice are ink and markers.
  2. It will make you work faster. You will need to find shortcuts when you draw because people won’t pose for you 30 mins. Sometimes it will be just 10 sec to get the image so the trick is to see and understand the gesture and then draw it without the model. If you can’t get the result right so quickly you will be forced to look for tricks how to be most efficient with lines. How to use just most essential lines to portray someone or something. You will start noticing what is the most important. I would say this is pretty advanced thing right here. If you will practice that you will be way faster with your drawings and it will help you in your professional career.
  3. It will give you greater understanding of perspective and spatial awareness. I think we all understand that those are basic things in drawing. Putting things right in perspective. identifying horizon line and vanishing points, 2 and 3 point perspective. I would guess it’s one of the hardest things to learn and artists usually try to avoid it. We shouldn’t avoid hard things. How much better the image looks when you add perspective to it.
  4. You will understand objects in space which will help you translate 3D objects to paper. Photo references are already 2D images, your brain doesn’t have to figure out how to translate object into flat piece of paper. You need to do the hard work yourself and figure out how, with just lines, you will get the image that has depth. If you get that then the next step would be that you will be able to look at one object and imagine it from different angles and points of view. If you get that then you will be pretty good at drawing from imagination.

So now when you have all the reasons above what you can do ?  What I would do is I would prepare one sketchbook that I have just for the life drawing sessions and I would put a deadline on it. I would say that I need to fill that sketchbook in 30 days. The challenge here is to try and draw every day to observe how your confidence will change during that time. In the beginning you will struggle of course, but try to overcome the fear. Don’t think too much and push yourself. I promise it will be better and you will gain confidence. You already starting to stimulate your brain into right direction.  Confidence will show in your sketches if you continue to do it for 30 days straight. Line quality will go up. It will help you will all basics. Just think how great it will be to compare first picture to the last one. Perhaps some of you will be in the mood to continue everyday life drawing. I can guarantee that you will end up with better skills than before you started and it will be great remedy for some artist problems.

The 3 Elements of a FLAWED Character

You know that moment when you find an old notebook, and you start reading the story you were writing years ago, and after about one page…  

And then after a few more paragraphs … 

This has happened to me several times. On every occasion I want to curl up in a small box and wait until everyone forgets I was ever a writer. And every time, no matter which old story it is, what sends me crawling into that box is the same thing: the main character. Even after I had learned to incorporate empathetic qualities into my heroes (as listed in the last post), my protagonists were still deeply annoying – if not more unbearable than before. 

Why? What made them this way? They had winningly empathetic traits! Were they terrible people still? No, and that was the problem. They were perfect. Smart. Noble. Brave. They had dazzling martial arts skills. They loved people and people loved them. They were Chosen in some way and destined for greatness. Angst-plagued though, of course. They were tragic little heroes, misunderstood and abused, driven by the desire to vanquish all who caused them suffering.  

I could’ve composed a Gaston-like song enumerating their virtues and sorrows. 

And the only thing that would’ve made them more punchable is if they did use antlers in all of their decorating.

Characters can’t be completely likable. Yes, they must possess strengths that win the reader’s empathy, but without an equal amount of flaws … they can’t function. If they’re not flawed, they shouldn’t be the main character. Story is about someone changing, for better or worse. Under the surface, all good stories are about this process of human growth or decline. So if a hero is perfect from the beginning, there’s nowhere they need to go. And consequently, there’s no reason for a reader to follow. 

The inclination to follow a story is begun with interest in the premise, of course – but it is locked in when empathy occurs, when we begin to care – the moment the reader transposes their own external and internal lives onto a character’s life. A process which starts when a reader recognizes a shared something between themselves and the hero. Sometimes, this is a goal or strength or situation. And sometimes, it’s a flaw. We meet a character that is weak in the same way we are, and a strong internal connection is born between the reader’s life and the life on the page. On a deep level we’re thinking “This person is like me. What happens to them? How do they deal with it?” And because of this connection based on what is lacking in our lives, we want to live the story, see how it ends, and find out how the main character – who is just like us – reached that ending. Because it’s our lives we’re reading about, and if we play it out in advance, maybe we can reach a positive ending too. 

So! In what way should a main character be FLAWED? 

1) Weak in a way that only hurts themselves. 

Let’s call these MIND.

2) Flawed in a way that hurts others. 

Let’s call these MORAL.

The most realistic – and most compelling – characters have both types.  

And if a character has these flaws, the story must be steering them towards what they NEED to overcome them. The main character needs to learn something, a truth, a new way to live. This is the theme of the story. Theme is a statement the story seeks to prove, to the main character and the reader, about how to live a better life. It’s the solution to whatever moral and mental conundrum they’re facing. So … 

3) The SOLUTION to their moral and mental weaknesses. 

How does that work? To illustrate, let’s look at Stitch and Alexander Hamilton. (What a combination.) 

STITCH

Moral: He’s destructive. Violent. Rude. Vindictive.  Manipulative. Enjoys the suffering of his enemies.

 And in general, pushes everyone and everything away.  

Mind: Despite his violent ways, he yearns to belong, and senses that he can’t.

He believes he’s alone, he’s unlovable, he’s monstrous, he’s never had a family and never will – he’s lost, like the Ugly Duckling. He’s missing a family he’s never had.  

Solution: He just needs to start treating people like family to be accepted into one. 

HAMILTON

Moral: He’s selfish. (“Be careful with that one love, he will do what it takes to survive.”) He’s arrogant. He’s self-centered. (Think of the entirety of Burn.) And in his obsessive journey to succeed, he pushes everyone out of his path.  

Mind: He has a fixation on death, on time running out, which drives his manic desire to achieve. (“I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory.) He’s insecure. ("Graduate in two and join the revolution. He looked at me like I was stupid. I’m not stupid.”) 

Solution: Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story? Eliza tells his story. Hamilton’s goal throughout the story is a legacy; he strives to achieve this immortality in any way possible, even if it means neglecting his loved ones, or even ruining their lives. He needs to learn that his loved ones are enough. Eliza is enough. And through her, he will live on. 

What would have happened if they weren’t flawed? The stories would have been boring. What would have happened if their flaws had been treated like attributes that didn’t have to change? The stories would have ceased to be. Progress couldn’t happen, because by accepting the status quo of their mental and moral states, we’re refusing the call to adventure outright. They’d just exist in the same state they were in the setup, stagnant, somewhat lifeless. Flawed characters must motor towards that NEED, or solution, that will save their lives. 

(I realize this “need” element is rather vague, so it’ll get its own post.)  

But in conclusion, this balance of strengths and flaws – and how this fictional person deals with the adventure they’re thrown into – is what makes a main character compelling, empathetic, and real. 

So when I unearth a notebook years in the future, containing one of stories I’m writing now, maybe the main character won’t make me feel like this:

Maybe it’ll even be like this: 

And best of all, maybe one of those characters will make a reader somewhere feel understood and helped and not alone. Wow. That would be amazing.

Well, there’s my writing motivation for today. I’m going to go make my main character more of a lovable jerk.

6

literature posters, featuring anna karenina

“There was no solution, but that universal solution which life gives to all questions, even the most complex and insoluble. That answer is: one must live in the needs of the day – that is, forget oneself. To forget himself in sleep was impossible now, at least till nighttime; he could not go back now to the music sung by the decanter-women; so he must forget himself in the dream of daily life.”

I would like to tell you a story, if you’re willing to listen.

It’s the story of how, four years ago, I was depressed. Few people noticed, because I was a “good kid” who had straight A’s, didn’t get into fights or talk back, didn’t do drugs or drink alcohol. I didn’t fit the “type” so I flew under the radar. Six months later, I was self harming and severely suicidal. I tried to kill myself three times in the span of two years, until Fall 2015, when I stopped going to school and it became obvious that I was not okay. My mom (my wonderful, strong mom) reached out to my school and that kickstarted the process of therapy. It took me 18 months and a hell of a lot of fighting against myself, but I’m happy to say that I no longer consider suicide an option for myself. It doesn’t flash in the back of my mind like an emergency exit sign anymore.

My point here is, being suicidal does not signify the end of your story. That is why I hate seeing hype around a certain show, that I’ll keep unnamed because I don’t want to give it more advertisement than its already gotten, that romanticizes suicide. It makes it look like the ultimate revenge, the biggest “fuck you” to everyone who did you wrong. Let me tell you, that’s not right. Want to know the ultimate revenge against those who wronged you? Living, saying “I’m still here despite all you’ve put me through.” Not a series of tapes putting the blame of your death on everyone around you.

I’m not posting this for pity or anything of that flavour. I’m posting this because it seems to be the only way I have left to try and make you understand why media like this is so toxic, and how wrong those narratives are. Truth is, most people, as far as my experience goes, have considered suicide at some point in their life, and the solution to the suicide pandemic in our society is not some show glorifying it on Netflix. That’s all I have to say.

I’m not looking for anymore escapes from the problems in my life. I’m going to confront the issues and come up with healthy solutions.
—  Affirmation of the day.

Okay but y’all that foot drawing was bad? Wait hear this guy in class write about how we should reduce problems related income inequality. 

Firstly, he connects crime with social status and explains it by saying that people don’t want to work for things but they still “want to look good and live the good life.” His solution? The government needs to start “amputating extremities for theft,” and start stoning people for crimes - oddly he uses adultery as one example of who we should be stoning. We also need to start thinking of dealing with other “extreme punishments,” to deal with crime. 

Next he referenced a video in class that showed the correlation between infant mortality and income status. Okay yeah, so naturally he took this upon himself to blame the parents for being poor. His suggestion is that parents should be required to attend educational parenting classes after pregnancy occurs and that they need to qualify for formula. 

Please let this semester end already.

I am so in love with the dynamic between Barry and Iris now.

They’ve been great all season as a couple but last night felt like everything finally really clicked and they were perfect.

I love that Iris can be assertive with him, yet vulnerable.She can be brave and face her fears but at the same time break down and confess what scares her the most.  I love that he knows how to let her be strong, even when it terrifies him, but he also knows how to be strong enough for the both of them when he has to be.

I love that they can tease each other effortlessly. I love that they can go from being super serious one second to grinning like fools at each other in the next. I love that they show why your love of your life also being your best friend is a beautiful thing.

I love how tender they are with each other. The small touches that both actors add that were absent in their previous onscreen relationships makes a huge difference. The gentleness displayed when Barry strokes his fingers along her cheek to wipe away a tear, or rubs her back when they’re sitting on the couch together adds a level of intimacy that the show has been lacking.

I love that the way they are now (in some respects) is the way they should have been in 2A. I love that Iris is allowed to voice her fears and have somebody listen to her. I love that she’s not worried and crying by herself because she isn’t shown having someone to care for her. I love that Barry listened to her and he didn’t try and dismiss her fears. In fact, he’s encouraged her to acknowledge her feelings about the situation because he wants her to talk to him.

I love that even though Barry is sure Iris won’t die, he’s not cocky about it. He has had a real bad tendency in the past of being over-confident right up until things completely go to hell and then he’s humbled enough to realize that maybe he doesn’t know it all or he isn’t fast enough. This time around though, he isn’t doing that. He’s sure that Iris won’t die, yes, but I believe that’s because he’s already made his mind up that he’ll do whatever he has to do to make sure that won’t happen. Failure is not an option for him. With that being said though, he’s not cocky about Iris’ life. Figuring out a solution to save her is not something he approaches lightly. He doesn’t catch an attitude when Julian rudely tells him that he’s not fast enough, he won’t be fast enough and therefore he will fail. He just starts calculating for himself and he realizes that Julian is right. Old Barry would have worked to prove him wrong, now he takes the criticism and turns into something constructive that will help save Iris. This ultimately proves that this truly is about saving her and not about him.

All in all Westallen has just gotten better and better and better and better as the weeks have gone on and I feel like they’ve finally hit their stride. They have found the perfect mix of sexy, sweet, tender and emotional and the actors sell it flawlessly.

BTS as things my husband has said/done

Seokjin: *Looks at own picture* “OH GOD! Look at that jawline!”

Jungkook: *flosses teeth with two dental picks at the same time*

Taehyung: “what if like pepo(our dog) just turns around one day and says, ‘what are you doing man?’ In a deep voice?”

Yoongi: “who the hell wants kids when you can sleep?” Or “all I need in my life is me and my bed.”

Jimin: *baby voice* you and me are gonna do it right tonight!

Hoseok:*speaking to Pepo* “YOU’RE SO BEAUTIFUL!”

Namjoon: “Everything in this life has a solution except death.”

Think about it: Jesus didn’t confront Zacchaeus about his thieving practices, he offered relationship, and that changed Zacchaeus. Jesus didn’t make sure the woman at the well understood that sex outside of marriage is wrong (though he taught it was at other times), he offered her living water that made the muddy water distasteful. Jesus didn’t remind the woman caught in adultery that she broke the Ten Commandments—he didn’t have to—he set her free from condemnation so that she could “go and sin no more” (John 8:11 NLT). He offered a chance to live a new life! Relationship was Jesus’ solution to sin. Can we offer restorative relationship to very muddied people? That’s what it takes to be like Jesus.
—  John Burke, Mud and the Masterpiece
EXO reacts to their S/O catching them cheating

(gif credit to owners)

Request found here.

A/N: Thank you for the request, babe! I switched it up a bit on some, so they are more confessions that you catching them cheating. I hope you all enjoy them! <3 xoxo

-Lainey

Kim Minseok (Xiumin)

It was 2 AM and you had just gotten home from work when Jongdae messaged you suggesting you pick up Minseok because he was drunk and being rowdy. You quickly got dressed and drove over to the address he text you. The loud music drowned out your voice as you were calling out for Minseok, so you decided to check all the rooms for him. Upon opening the last door on the 2nd floor, you caught Minseok hovering over a half-naked girl with his belt buckle undone. He would laugh when he saw you and ask you to join causing you to remove your couple ring and throw it at him. Disgusted by his actions you turned to leave and before you went out the door, Jongdae found you and escorted you home after you explained what happened. Hungover and full of regret, Minseok would go over to your place the next day to speak to you.

“Y/N, that is not like me. Nothing happened and I promise not to drink again. Please forgive me. I can’t be without you!” he would cry out trying to explain and clutching your ring in his hand.

Originally posted by 305heaux

Kim Junmyeon (Suho)

It had been weeks after you found Junmyeon in a compromising position when you arrived unexpectedly at his house. Despite his drinking, he had no other excuse for cheating on you. He had a weak moment and deeply regretted it. He would have a hard time sleeping and would not be able to get the image of you walking away out of his head. One day when the other members convinced him to go out with them, he would spot you inside a store at the mall and approach you.

“What I did to you was so unfair, and I am so deeply sorry. I know you don’t want to hear that, but I really am. How can I make it up to you, Y/N?” he would ask as he stood in the middle of the department store pouring his heart out to you unmoved by the staring faces of other customers around him.

Originally posted by dazzlingkai

Zhang Yixing (Lay)

Although none of the members seem to be the type to purposely or consciously cheat on you, I would place Yixing on the lowest part of the list. It is not in his nature to hurt people just to satisfy his needs. However, Yixing’s situation would be more of a misunderstanding than him cheating. During a party he found himself in a situation that would seem to you as more than what it was. He would be sitting on one of the couches while you went to the bathroom and a random drunk girl would straddle him. Before he could get her off of him, you would walk in to her grinding on him with his head tilted back facing away from the door. You would yell out his name and he would push the girl to the side causing her to land on the floor.

“Oh Bǎobèi, please no. This isn’t –“ was all you would hear as you ran out of the house crying.

Originally posted by royalyeol

Byun Baekhyun

Baekhyun didn’t expect to find you in his dressing room while on tour one evening. He would walk in happily as he greeted a young woman waiting in his room, except the happy smile was not returned. Instead she would glance behind him and stand up to leave the room. He slowly turned around to be met with a splash of cold iced tea. He quickly realized that his mistress had revealed her relationship to you when you both awkwardly sat in the room and he became ashamed.

“I know I messed up. I became impatient especially when you couldn’t come out to see me. This is all my fault and I don’t blame you for never speaking to me again. I don’t know what else to say,” he would confess sorrowfully; avoiding your stare.

Originally posted by luhan-vevo

Kim Jongdae (Chen)

After a long flight, you were excited to surprise Jongdae with your early arrival. Even though you were jetlagged, you worried when you noticed an unfamiliar car in the driveway. As you entered the house, you heard loud moans coming from your upstairs bedroom. Gutted by what was going on upstairs, you decided to confront Jongdae and his lover. You swung open the door to find him resting against the headboard and the girl settled over him with her hands gripping the bedrail. You would yell out some obscenities before leaving the room and it would frighten him and the girl as they both frantically looked for their clothes.

“Y/N, wait! Oh my god, Jagiyah, please forgive me! Don’t leave, baby!” he would yell out after you, putting his shirt on as you ran down the stairs.

Originally posted by galaxychen

Park Chanyeol

Chanyeol would call out to you as he was coming out of the shower. When you did not answer him, he would go room by room looking for you. He reached for his phone on the kitchen counter and unlocked it to reveal his text messages were opened to a text from a random girl that he had hooked up with two weeks ago. He immediately called your phone only for it to go straight to voicemail.

After many days of zero communication with you, he would arrive at your friend’s place and push himself into the apartment as you disappeared into the bedroom.

“Jagiyah, I know I broke my promise to you. I know you shouldn’t forgive me… but I wish you would,” he would say with his hand sliding down the door as he fell to his knees.

Originally posted by baekhyunsama

Do Kyungsoo (D.O.)

It was the morning after Kyungsoo had arrived back home from filming. You were in the kitchen when you received a notification of an email on your phone, so you put down the spatula and read it. It was from a friend of yours who was in the same film as Kyungsoo. Shocked you read the entire email through your tear-filled eyes. She confessed to having had sex with Kyungsoo a week ago one lonely night and asked for your forgiveness.

Kyungsoo would come out of the bedroom, rubbing the sleep from his eyes to find you crying in the kitchen. When you looked up to him, he instantly knew what your tears were about. He hated himself for what he did, for not having more control over his body, and for not telling you about it immediately.

“There are no explanations for the hurt I have caused you. Yes, I cheated on you and it has been eating me up inside. I do not deserve for you to forgive me or to understand my actions. However, I can make you a new promise to live the rest of my life finding a solution to have your complete trust again,” he would say sitting across the table from you letting his tears stain his cheeks.

Originally posted by baekhyeun

Kim Jongin (Kai)

You had noticed that Jongin had been coming home much later than usual and that he was not his typical happy self. Something was wrong, but you felt he would tell you when he was ready. One evening he came home to you prepping dinner and grabbed a few things from his closet and headed back out without a word. You rushed out the door after him and found him slumped on the stairs sobbing into his hands. You guided him inside and before you could sit down he would blurt out that he cheated on you and he was on his way to meet with her again, but seeing you happily in the kitchen killed his spirit and reminded him of his regret from the beginning. You sat quietly, shocked at the words spewing out of his mouth. You remained silent because you knew there would be no forgiving his acts.

“Please say something Y/N. Yell at me. Tell me I’m scum, anything please Jagiyah,” he would say pleading.

Originally posted by ninihoneykom

Oh Sehun

Sehun didn’t expect you to be home when he came stumbling in with a girl clinging onto his arm. At first, he would freeze in his tracks and stand quietly before motioning for the woman to leave. You two would stand in silence thinking of words to say and he would break it by trying to explain the situation. When you told him you never wanted to see him again and for him to get out of your house, he would immediately start crying and would grab at things to hold onto as you pushed him out.

“Please let me explain! Oh, Y/N please don’t do this. I am so sorry, Jagiyah! Please hear me out-” he would say before you slammed the door in his face.

Originally posted by angel-in-slow-motion

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In this fandom we really have to stop mistaking acknowledgement for approval or fondness, and defense of humanity for stanning.

I don’t have an interest in Kendall Jenner’s life or career. However, I acknowledge that she is present in Harry ’s life, to the extent that he, as an adult by 5 years now, hangs out with her around his mother. I don’t have to like or dislike her for that to be true; my liking her would not make her any more present than she is, and my disliking of her would not make her any less present than she is.

My acknowledgement that she is in Harry’s life is not an endorsement of her in any way; my endorsement of her would be. If you don’t like her, fine; if you don’t like that she is a part of Harry ’s life, fine; but the solution to that would be to remove yourself from the position to observe, not the erasure of her from his life. He’s a big boy, and he already has a mother.

Simple Solutions

Pro-Life groups try so hard to make abortion illegal, even though it’s been proven time and time again, that when you take away places like Planned Parenthood, it only increases the problem. Planned Parenthood, along with many other groups, are trying to stop abortion, believe it or not, but they know that criminalizing abortion doesn’t fix the problem.

The answers are so simple, but they just don’t get it.

1. SEX ED: Schools must teach comprehensive and medically accurate sex education. You not only teach the mechanics of sex, but you also teach students about healthy relationships and safe sex. Teens make way better decisions when they are given the tools and resources to properly handle sexual situations (they wait longer, too!). It’s like driving; You don’t let your kid just hop in the car and hope they make it home alive, they have to be taught how to be safe, to protect themselves and others.

2. CONTRACEPTIVES: Contraceptives, like birth control pills, IUDs, and condoms must be easily accessible and inexpensive, in order to help prevent unintended pregnancies.

Proper education and contraceptives = less abortion. It’s as simple as that. 


But the most important thing to remember is, women don’t get abortions because it’s fun, or it’s “taking the easy way out.” Women don’t just decide to have an abortion on a whim, like going to see a movie, or buying a new outfit. It’s a painful, heartbreaking decision. Whether it’s preventing a child from being born into an abusive environment, fetal anomalies, financial struggles, or just bad timing. Regardless of the reason, abortion CANNOT become illegal. It only makes things worse.