life's decision


1.O5.17 - 27.O5.17 // Hi guyss  
I know it’s been a while, but I’m back. During this month I’ve been taking a lot of photos of my studyspo but I’ve never posted them and I don’t know why. So, here it is, my whole month of study.

The last picture is the photo of today. I woke up and I baked a strawberry pie for my family (I just tasted it since I’m on a diet! But it’s light). Then I made coffee and now I’m about to revise for my Swedish test which it’ll be on monday. I’m very nervous about it. I don’t know if I’m going to go to do it but still, I’m studying anyway.

I really don’t know what is wrong with me. I can’t decide about my future. I’m not sure about anything anymore and I don’t know how to face everything. I’m just feeling blue, not enough.

This session/semester I’m going to have just two exams while I left other two exams for september. I’m not doing my best and I can’t do anything about it. I’m really depressed since I have this feeling that I’m going to fail.

But I’m trying, I want to, stay positive.
I’ve done a lot of things this year and I’m satisfied. Any time soon I will have to make a super important decision but as for now I’m focusing on my studies. I was sure of this choice and now I have to be more secure about it. I need it to be the right path. I’m afraid and I feel like I don’t have anyone’s support. Nobody gets me seriously.

I’ve annoyed you, so have a good day and a good life!! I really hope that what you’re doing is right for you and that it makes you happy and peaceful. I wish you well. 

little bad memory things :)
  • not knowing if you said something out loud or if you only thought it
  • “did i already ask you that?”
  • “what did you say”
  • raising your hand and putting it down multiple times in class because you can’t remember your question/comment
  • pausing in the middle of simple tasks because you can’t remember what you’re doing
  • “where is my [object i had in my hands literally 30 seconds ago]?”
  • not knowing someone’s name even though it’s the 5th time you’ve met them
  • rereading/rewatching books/movies because you can’t remember basic plot details
  • forgetting to look at the list of things you need to remember
  • forgetting the end of your sentence before you even start it/trailing off

「天ノ弱」~Heaven’s Weakness (A Pining!Langst Animatic)

Music & Lyrics: 164 (sm14583646)
Cover: Shinshakaijin & Wing (sm18605852)
(Youtube) (Twitter)

(TW: some scenes may be seen as pseudo injury/bleeding. Also, angst.)

It’s my first time to try making an animatic, and behold it ends up being (k)langst. Wing’s piano cover of this song always destroys me whenever I hear it, and to me it’s one of the ultimate heartwrenching songs. I wish I had the time and skill to put the translated lyrics on the video as well because they make me just (つ﹏<)・゚。 (The VLD and Klance angst weeks are still days away but look at what I’m doing…speaking of Klangst week do they accept entries for day 1 this early?)

I will greatly appreciate any constructive comments or feedback! (I’m still a beginner so I know there’s a lot of mistakes and ahskdsd things I’m so sorry I will now go to a corner and mull over my life choices.)

“People always say love is a feeling,” he says to me, “but it’s not. It’s a choice.”

“How do you mean?”
I look puzzled, and he cracks a smile.

“Because. You may feel ‘in love’ when things are great. Everyone does. What about when things get bad? Whether or not you choose to stay. It’s what makes love a choice.”

And he was right, I thought. That’s how I knew I loved him even though he loved someone else.

—  Excerpt from a book I’ll never write
But that’s just how it is, that’s how life works. You don’t get to have the best of both worlds. You have to determine what’s important. You have to choose what takes priority in your life, and if you don’t then the decision is made for you.
—  Something I’m learning @amey-winehouse