Imagine how life would be different if you just completely let go. Surrender your ego. Let go of your negative thoughts, worrisome plans, and unrealistic expectations. Imagine how much more peaceful things would become.
childhood trauma is so awful bc while others can look back on their earlier years & think “wow life was simpler back then!” and remember how carefree they were, all i can think of is the misery and pain and having to grow up too fast to take care of myself and everyone else. the most crucial parts of ur development are just tainted bc of childhood trauma. i hate it
neil’s friendships with the other foxes aren’t talked about enough…honestly. like, andrew is neil’s everything and nothing can ever change that, but how neil’s trust expands to the rest of them is so precious.
dan adores neil. she wishes he’d listen more in practice and on the court, but she wouldn’t change him for anything. not a trophy, not hundred of trophies, and she’d never go back to a time when life was simpler, when the foxhole court wasn’t a burrow for a skittish fox to hide in, when neil was all bad news and a grenade waiting to go off. when they were all close to being collateral damage in the explosion that followed neil’s truths. she loves him, truly, without failure. she loves his smile and the way he plays, like he wants to win it all for them. she loves how happy he is, despite his monster being a constant shadow at his side, she loves that neil has found someone to take comfort inc someone to make him stronger, and she’s proud of him for that
allison likes to sit beside neil and play with his hair. the first time he let her do it, her chest nearly exploded with the amount of adoration and affection that was swirling there, too powerful to be contained. she knows what trusting looks like, because it’s the the same way renee is with her, and she feels so privileged that neil trusts her too. now they sit and watch shitty movies together when they’re tired and even when her fingers cramp up, allison can’t bear to remove them from twirling lightly at his curls
matt and neil, bros. matt has loved neil since the moment he first laid his eyes on him, and he’s never stopped since. sure, neil can be an asshole and he sometimes avoids talking about how he really feels still, but matt loves him. and when he can peel neil away from andrew long enough, they talk about deep stuff, with neil and matt both opening up to each other. they play mario cart, because neil has never played and matt feels like he has a little brother. he feels so protective towards neil, like he wants to shelter him from the world, but he knows neil has to explore it all for himself, and he’ll always be there to offer a hand if neil stumbles
renee and neil do spend time alone, but mostly she tags along with both andrew and neil. and renee is very observant, she notices the way that neil — this broken boy who came to them every inch a mystery, every scar a story to be told, one foot out the door and his lips sewn shut — flourishes around andrew. he blooms like a flower, mid-spring, bright and breathtaking and she remembers thinking that neil wouldn’t be with them for long, but here he is, living and loving, all thanks to andrew and the rest of the foxes. she’s proud of herself, for that one
kevin may push neil hard sometimes, but he knows neil’s limits better than neil himself does. there are days where he knows neil can be pushed further, can be yelled at for longer, can be threatened with the weight of his deal with the moriyamas, you’ll never make court if you don’t get better. and there are days when he knows neil can’t take it, where he knows that any mention of his unknown future will snap neil in half, so he doesn’t push. he makes neil do the laps, the drills, the target practice and then he calls it off. days like these, neil gets rowdy, complains because he wants to blow off some steam, but kevin tunes him out and throws him a bottle of water, sitting on the court floor and waiting for neil to join him. when he does, they sit in silence. sometimes they talk, but mostly kevin waits for their breathing to slow before he gathers their things and drags neil back to andrew for the night
neil is able to forgive nicky for that first night at edens. nicky will always feel guilty, will always want to make it up to neil, but he’s smart enough to know that it’s alright, nicky. i forgive you is enough to say it’s over, don’t bring it up again and so he never does. he and neil form a nice, distant friendship. nicky doesn’t touch neil and neil doesn’t touch nicky in return, but there are days where neil will sit with him in the columbia house and they’ll laugh and joke and nicky will swear he didn’t know neil would have such an impact on his life, he’ll never remember what life was like before him, and he doesn’t want to. life without neil, even for a short time, felt cold and tasteless and the look on andrew’s face when baltimore happened told him he felt it too. he never wants to experience that again
neil and aaron tolerate each other, at best. and that’s all there is to say on that. they poke at each other and make sly remarks and sometimes they fight, and that’s the extent of their interactions
the beauty of it all is that people say you can’t choose your family but neil knows, you definitely can
i continue to feel flummoxed that ASP decided that because lane and zach had kids in s7, hep alien couldn’t succeed and that was the thing that she changed in the revival from her original plan
like … are we operating under the assumption that no artists/famous people have kids? and in the days of the internet, i feel like it would have been so easy to give them some popularity/professional success while they even still remained based in stars hollow, so you wouldn’t have had to imply that lane and zach were somehow bad parents for continuing to pursue music professionally. (plus, you know mrs. kim would be THERE to help out with the kids so that the band might prosper.)
like, imagine the dragonfly filling up because a hep alien song went viral on youtube and now people are traveling to stars hollow in the hopes of seeing the band and it creates hilarious town chaos
why couldn’t there have been a story like that, or even just a freakin’ throwaway line about them independently producing and selling an album online or something???? WHYYYYYYY???
1. wrath comes so easily to percival; much more so than forgiveness. the nightmares, the scars, the trembling in his hands- perhaps it will all go away when he faces the world with anger instead of fear. and it does. he pours the rage into fire and smoke, and in the blast forgets for just a moment what he’s left behind.
2. she sometimes wishes she knew not what envy was. keyleth is gentle and doubting; few days go by where she is not quietly jealous of the twins’ confidence and charm, or the easy smiles and bravery of the gnomes. but a leader looks forward, not behind- so she raises her chin and walks, dreaming the whole time of who she should have been.
3. too many years have passed for scanlan to know who he is without lust. part of him loves it- the pleasure, the freedom, the life that gave him his daughter. but he realises he doesn’t remember all their faces; the people he’s loved and left behind with second thoughts far too late, the mothers that might be and whom he cannot name.
4. greed sits with her far too often; at times a shadow, but more often a welcoming hand. it is everything the elven nobles who shunned them had and vex'ahlia did not. as it clinks into her hand, the glinting light of the gold is a wink that promises more than it gives. she smiles, and the metal hangs heavy at her hip.
5. he had never understood the word gluttony before. grog’s world before them was so much smaller, so much simpler. life now seemed limitless; and without limit what could one do except want to experience everything? he laughs, shouts, rages in the name of what he deserves- the world is his and his alone.
6. there is little that tempts pike more than sloth. each wound she seals with trembling hands, each rag stained with blood, each piece of her heart she begs sarenrae to drag back into this mortal coil; they whisper that it would be so much easier to never care. she receives yet another plea to bring back what has been lost, and hesitates.
7. pride weaves its words like his blades weave death. even at the depths of his own darkness, vax'ildan finds confidence in who he is. he is spite, he is defiance, he is freedom, he is the plaything of a goddess. he controls his own destiny, even as the strings of fate pull ever tighter. the shadows gather, and he is home.
• he’d have met you though a mutual friend and been in love ever since
• he probably thought you had feelings for your friend so he never really said anything
• working up the courage to tell you how he felt was hella hard but he’s like…I can’t think about anything or anyone else jfc
• he’d want to spend every moment with you and gets hella excited if you text or even call
• legit this boy would drop everything he was doing for you and yall weren’t even dating yet
• he’d fess up eventually one night, where you both were sitting a little too close and staring at each other for too long to not be more than friends
• he’ll find a best friend in you and not just a partner
• will tell you everything that’s been going on in his mind and is always asking for your thoughts
• ideal dates with him would be to get away from the rest of the boys and have some alone time cuddling on your couch
• wants to go to the grocery store at like 2 in the morning just bc he ran out of his favorite snack
• and ofc dragging you with him
• bc what’s more romantic than freezing your butt off as you’re shuffling inside the store hand in hand?
• but it’s all good since he’ll give you hella cuddles and aegyo
• always having a bad day when he doesn’t wake up next to you or doesn’t hear your voice first thing in the morning
• mornings with him are so fun aww like he’d wake up extra early sometimes to make your favorite breakfast
• and puts on cheerful music so you’d wake up and dance with him in the kitchen while the bacon is burning
• he’s so cuddly whenever you’re around
• like he won’t be able to stop himself from running into your arms and staying there for hours, just enjoying your warm breath on his neck
• visibly cringes when you call him cute “I’m a man”
• butterfly kisses
• forehead kisses
• every sort of kisses bc he’s a tease
• rolling your eyes whenever the members tease you about your lovey dovey relationship
• you laughing at his boyish Californian accent
• and then he proceeds to exaggerate it to make you laugh even more
• omg he knows how much you love his smile and it drives you crazy
• jamming to music in his car as you’re driving to the beach
• he’s like a little kid once he reaches the water
• and even if you’re not swimming, he’ll still find a way to get your hair and clothes wet lmao
• wants to take selfies with you 25/8 for no reason, he just wants to stare at your pretty face next to his and smile about it
• things can get pretty rough for him sometimes
• but he knows he’s got you so life seems a little simpler with you around
• “I love you, Tuan”
• “I love you more, dork”
• pls keep him with you forever 💚