Life kicks you around sometimes. It scares you and it beats you up, but there’s a day when you realize that you’re not just a survivor. You’re a warrior. You’re tougher than anything it throws your way.
Wonder Woman Workout | Tough Like The Toonz: EP 26
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I can be talking about my day.
I can be on my phone, looking through Tumblr.
I can be lying down with my love.
I can be in the back office making estimates.
I can be doing anything really…
It doesn’t matter if I’m happy.
It doesn’t matter if I’m having an amazing time. There’s no telling when it would happen.
—Flashbacks appear out of nowhere.
Flashbacks are… horrible.
Well, least for me it is.
As a person who was diagnosed “majorly depressed” last year and was suicidal up until May 2017…
The flashbacks I experience is really not pleasant. When I have a flashback, I freeze. Personally, my flashbacks’ duration is very short. About a second, if not, less. It happens and disappears quickly, kind of like a shooting star. Although the actual flashback is short, the affect caused by it lasts quite a while.
Personally, the flashbacks I experience are not me “remembering” things that happened… It’s me re-living that experience. It’s as if I traveled through time. I’m back to that day, and the pain I felt that day… I experience again, as if it just happened for the first time… My heart aches, just like how it did that day. My heart feels like it’s getting squeezed,
and it gets so hard to breathe…
You think that sucks?
Well, it gets worse.
What’s crazy is… My flashbacks… Some are not my flashbacks.
What I mean by that is… Some of the flashbacks I experience— That memory I’m remembering,
it did not happen to me… It happened to someone else. Confused? I don’t blame you. Not sure how to explain this nonsense…
Basically, my brain is very good at imagining things. If someone were to explain about their experience, I’m not listening. I’m picturing. My mind goes on a trip to that day, and everything that’s being explained to me, it’s happening right in front of me. I’m there, with them— They can’t see me. I can’t talk to them. All I can do is see it all happen, as if I’m a ghost. That’s not it, there’s more… Not only am I picturing the experience, but I can even hear the voices in their head. Everyone in that setting’s voices in their head—
All thoughts going through their mind— I can hear it all.
How she looked like to him, the views he must’ve seen— I see it all. Just my imagination, of course. Not only his view, but her views too. The expressions he made, His gentle smile… His… Everything. I see it all, from all angles. Everything.
So when I have a flashblack, I freeze. I feel like I’m getting suffocated in my memories, in their memories—
Mind you, their memories, Those are just my imagination.
I forgive people. I don’t hold grudge towards people, even if they hurt me, I don’t hate them. If anything they do not crosss my mind. But if I were to bump into them, I wouldn’t mind. I wouldn’t feel a ‘certain way’, I can be respectful and polite. Because I forgave them.
Even if I forgave them, I live in the past. That’s my bad habit. I tend to live in the past. I take really long to heal, if not, I never heal.
They say, “People who live in the past, loses their future”
And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.
See history in the making on September 22! That’s the day OSIRIS-REx, the first U.S. mission to carry samples from an asteroid back to Earth, will make a close approach to Earth as it uses our planet’s gravity to slingshot itself toward the asteroid Bennu.
Over the course of several days, observatories and amateur astronomers will be able to spot the spacecraft. Below, 10 things to know about this incredible mission that will bring us the largest sample returned from space since the Apollo era.
1. Big Deal
OSIRIS-REx seeks answers to the questions that are central to the human experience: Where did we come from? What is our destiny? Asteroids, the leftover debris from the solar system formation process, can help us answer these questions and teach us about the history of the Sun and planets.
2. That’s a Long Acronym
Yup. OSIRIS-REx stands for the Origins, Spectral Interpretation, Resource Identification, Security-Regolith Explorer spacecraft. The gist: It will rendezvous with, study, and return a sample of the asteroid Bennu to Earth.
3. Lots of Instruments, Too
While all the acronyms for each instrument may be alphabet soup, each has a job/role to perform in order to complete the mission. Explore what each one will do in this interactive webpage.
4. Nice to Meet You, Bennu
Scientists chose Bennu as the mission target because of its composition, size, and proximity to Earth. Bennu is a rare B-type asteroid (primitive and carbon-rich), which is expected to have organic compounds and water-bearing minerals like clays.
5. Hard Knock Life
Bennu had a tough life in a rough neighborhood: the early solar system. It’s an asteroid the size of a small mountain born from the rubble of a violent collision, hurled through space for millions of years and dismembered by the gravity of planets—but that’s exactly what makes it a fascinating destination.
6. High Fives All Around
In 2018, OSIRIS-REx will approach Bennu and begin an intricate dance with the asteroid, mapping and studying Bennu in preparation for sample collection. In July 2020, the spacecraft will perform a daring maneuver in which its 11-foot arm will reach out for a five-second “high-five” to stir up surface material, collecting at least 2 ounces (60 grams) of small rocks and dust into a sample return capsule.
7. Home Sweet Home
OSIRIS-REx launched on September 8, 2016 from Cape Canaveral, Florida on an Atlas V rocket. In March 2021, the window for departure from the asteroid will open and OSIRIS-REx will begin its return journey to Earth, arriving two-and-a-half years later in September 2023.
8. Precious Cargo
The sample will head to Earth inside of a return capsule with a heat shield and parachutes that will separate from the spacecraft once it enters the Earth’s atmosphere. The capsule containing the sample will be collected at the Utah Test and Training Range. Once it arrives, it will be transported to NASA’s Johnson Space Center in Houston for examination. For two years after the sample return (from late 2023-2025) the science team will catalog the sample and conduct the analysis needed to meet the mission science goals. NASA will preserve at least 75% of the sample at NASA’s Johnson Space Flight Center in Houston for further research by scientists worldwide, including future generations of scientists.
9. Knowledge Is Power
Analyzing the sample will help scientists understand the early solar system, as well as the hazards and resources of near-Earth space. Asteroids are remnants of the building blocks that formed the planets and enabled life. Those like Bennu contain natural resources such as water, organics and metals. Future space exploration and economic development may rely on asteroids for these materials.