I think the hardest part about falling in love is that you no longer have control over your own emotions. one word, one look could change your entire day, whether it be good or bad. someone has the ability to get inside your head, learn everything about you but it’s never guaranteed that they’re going to stick around. but i think the worst part is that you don’t even have control over falling in love. it just happens, even if you don’t want it to. it’ll either break your heart or make you feel alive, but the most awful truth of it all is that we all die at some point, with or without them.
I have such a complicated relationship with the AO3 mail alert system, because on one hand I religiously subscribe to every fic I like so as to never miss a chapter, but on the other hand I refresh my inbox and tag page every five minutes and so by the time the notification e-mail comes around I have already read the new chapter twice, tried three times to leave more kudos and am pondering my comment.
And I am left both saddened that I miss out on that spike of excitement and smug that modern technology is no match for my obsession.