life is about trusting our feelings

THE MOON SIGNS AND THE EARLY ENVIRONMENT

The Moon indicates our emotional style. But equally important, it indicates how we experienced our mother and our early environment and how that affected us psychologically. Our early environment and the type and degree of nurturing we received are critical in shaping our psychology and establishing a sense of security and trust. In this culture and in most others, the father teaches the ways of the world and how to function in it. The mother’s role, on the other hand, is to build the foundation of security, trust, and love necessary for healthy feelings about others and ourselves. If this foundation is cracked or insufficient, we will not have the emotional resources to face our task as an adult of providing for our own survival and that of others.

Our family and our early environment are selected by the soul before life and can, therefore, be read in the chart. The Moon and its aspects, the ruler of the fourth house and its aspects, and the planets in the fourth house and their aspects describe our early environment. They also describe the mother and her attention to us. More accurately, they describe our experience of her and our early environment. Although these aspects describe both the early environment and the mother, the planets within the fourth house seem to describe the environment more than they do the mother. And the houses of the fourth house ruler and the Moon describe the mother’s interests and where she puts her energy. If we have been more influenced in our early years by our father or another caretaker, the Moon and the fourth house will describe that individual.

Moon in Aries

The early environment of this Moon sign is likely to be colored by competition and conflict. The conflict may be between the parents, the siblings, or any combination of family members. This Moon sign also may signify animosity or anger on the part of the mother toward her family or spouse or in general. In any case, the home environment is often tense and competitive, and the individual who grows up in it may be tense and angry as well. On a more positive note, the mother may be strong, independent, assertive, and possibly athletic and encourages these traits in her child. Some with this Moon sign have families who are involved in the military or athletics. In general, the environment is more masculine and encourages the development of masculine traits even in its female children.

Moon in Taurus

Unless the Moon is afflicted, the Taurus Moon’s early environment is likely to be peaceful and stable and meet the child’s physical needs. The home is likely to be comfortable. The family may even be well-off financially. The mother is often affectionate, dependable, and a good cook. However, little attention may be given to emotional and intellectual needs. With this Moon sign, security and material comforts often supersede emotional needs. Consequently, many with this Moon sign repress or are unaware of their feelings. Children in such families often follow the model presented them by finding comfort and satisfaction in material things rather than in people. Love becomes equated with food and gifts. As a result, their relationships may be with toys, food, or television.

Moon in Gemini

Gemini Moons are likely to be bright and intellectually inclined, and the mother fosters this. The mother usually plays an educative role and happily meets the child’s intellectual needs. This is a home where education is valued and reading and schoolwork are emphasized. However, the child’s emotional and physical needs may not be attended to as enthusiastically. Although the mother may be an intellectual role model, she may be less helpful in modeling other skills, such as intimacy and managing in the world. She may not be very affectionate or emotionally demonstrative. In some cases, the mother feels more like a friend, a peer, or an aunt.

Moon in Cancer

This Moon sign is ideal for establishing a solid foundation for adulthood. Unless the Moon is afflicted, the mother probably enjoyed being mother and homemaker. She is likely to have met the child’s physical and emotional needs. When our physical needs are met, we feel valued and recognized; when our emotional needs are met, we learn to value and trust our feelings. Feelings are important because they point to our needs, and only by having our needs met can we grow physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. So, recognition of our feelings is crucial in our early years. It is how self-worth is built and tantamount to being validated as an individual. The Cancer Moon’s mother is someone who attends to her child’s feelings and makes herself available physically and emotionally, which supports the development of self-esteem. On the other hand, the ties with the mother can be too close. The mother is identified with her children and may be possessive, smothering, and overly protective. This may make it difficult for the child to grow up and establish an independent identity.

Moon in Leo

When it is not afflicted, the gift of this Moon sign is a firm sense of self and self-worth. Confidence can go a long way in life. This gift of confidence instilled by the mother establishes a foundation for the Leo Moon’s future successes. The mother’s warm, expressive nurturing style lends confidence to her child. She is likely to have showered her Leo Moon child with attention and affection, so the child comes to expect this from others. This may, in part, be a self-promoting act in that she views her child as an extension of her own ego and love flows from this place of pride. Her child can do no wrong because it is her child. She is likely to encourage her child’s creativity and self-expression and may be creative herself. She is dramatic, forceful, and a show-stealer. The child learns to get her attention by doing the same.

Moon in Virgo

The early nurturing that Virgo Moons receive may be dedicated but dry. The mother is likely to be efficient, orderly, hardworking, and responsible but emotionally inexpressive. She is educated and thorough in her approach to motherhood, studying all the latest manuals about raising children. This care and attention is noticed by the child and makes up in many ways for the mother’s lack of warmth and playfulness. Nevertheless, Virgo Moons may struggle with expressing their emotions, having not had a model for this. Although they may not learn to be emotionally expressive, the dedicated care given to them is often sufficient to build their self-esteem. They, in turn, make dedicated and efficient mothers. On the other hand, the child’s self-esteem might be undermined if the mother is hypercritical and fussy, as is often the case with this Moon sign. In that case, the individual is likely to become self-critical or critical of others too.

Moon in Libra

When not afflicted, this Moon sign represents a beneficial home environment. The early home life is likely to be harmonious and peaceful, and the mother takes pride in providing a home that is both aesthetically pleasing and emotionally supportive. The absence of conflict and argument in the home is often apparent with Libra Moons, for they mirror this non-confrontational style in their relationships. They are likely to have learned how to negotiate and compromise in this early atmosphere, which can later serve them well in their own family relationships and work. The mother might be artistically inclined, refined, and well-versed in social etiquette. Culture and the arts might be emphasized in the home.

Moon in Scorpio

The early environment of Scorpio Moons is often difficult and intensely emotional. Abuse or misuse of power and authority are a possibility, leaving the individual angry or repressed. The mother or another family member may be domineering, manipulative, possessive, or controlling. There is often an undercurrent of hostility and resentment in the home and a sense of deep, dark secrets that no one is allowed to speak about. The secrets could include such things as violence, sexual abuse, addiction, criminality, psychological problems, or illegitimate children. On the other hand, the mother may have been highly attentive to the child’s emotional needs and bonded deeply with him or her. This is fine for the infant, who needs this bonding, but as the child matures, this can feel overbearing and possessive. Since identification by both parent and child is so strong, Scorpio Moons often have difficulty breaking the tie with their mothers as adults. The emotional intensity of this relationship often continues over the years. This deep psychic connection between the mother and child may, in fact, originate in a former lifetime.

Moon in Sagittarius

This Moon sign often represents a less traditional nurturing experience. The mother’s nurturing style is easygoing and liberal. Freedom is important to her and this attitude is conveyed to the child by allowing him or her freedom to explore, ask questions, and investigate life. However, there may be too little responsibility expected from the child and too few rules to allow the child to develop the inner discipline necessary for adulthood. Or, the mother may be off having her own adventure. So, although the mother may be a model of independent action and adventure, she may not be available to provide the security and stability that a child needs. She might lack responsibility and behave more like a friend than a parent. It is common for those with this Moon sign to live in a foreign country or be influenced by foreigners when they are growing up, perhaps by traveling a lot. The military family is an example of this. The family values freedom more than they do stability. They often move or travel a lot.

Moon in Capricorn

With this Moon sign, something may be lacking in the early environment. The mother may be ill and unable to care for the child, absent from the child’s life, depressed, repressed emotionally, over- worked, or unable to cope with the duties of motherhood. Sometimes the mother dies. Harshness is another possibility. The mother may be unloving, overbearing, strict, rigid, and restrictive, allowing little leeway for the child to act like a child or express his or her emotions. In any case, the child receives insufficient mothering. On the other hand, the early home life may be stable, secure, orderly, and attentive to responsibilities, supplying the child with the structure and discipline needed to function effectively in the world as an adult.

Moon in Aquarius

The Aquarius Moon’s early home life and mother are likely to be unique or unusual in some way. The individual may grow up in a household with progressive ideas about child rearing and considerably more freedom than most children. This free and tolerant atmosphere exposes the child to ideas that other children might not encounter. However, although this is an advantage intellectually, the child may have difficulty getting his or her need for closeness met. Aquarius, although tolerant and altruistic, is not known for its emotional warmth. Young children, however, do need close emotional interactions with adults to form a solid foundation of trust and a sturdy sense of self. As a result, Aquarius Moons may learn at an early age not to expect others to meet their emotional needs. Consequently, as adults, they may have trouble addressing the emotional needs of others. When afflicted, this Moon sign may indicate a chaotic home, inconsistent nurturing, divorce, or a disrupted home life, which can leave emotional scars and affect the individual’s ability to form intimate relationships later on. Several moves or changes in the early years are common. These can either cause insecurity or teach the individual to make the best of change.

Moon in Pisces

Pisces Moons may undergo some loss or hardship in relation to the mother. She may be psychologically incapable of caring for her child, mentally ill, addicted to drugs or alcohol, or neglectful. On the other hand, she may be artistic or musical. She is often religious, kind, and selfless. Religious or spiritual activities may be carried out in the home. In either case, Pisces Moons learn compassion, either through their own suffering or their mother’s compassionate care. When they are cared for lovingly, they learn to care lovingly for others. If they have been neglected, however, they may grow up with the same psychological damage as their mother and be prone to drug abuse and mental illness.

THINGS I LEARNED DURING MY GAP YEAR

hi everybody! it’s definitely been a while, huh? i hope everyone is well and has been/ is studying hard for their end of year exams! good luck!

since my gap year is coming to an end, i decided i wanted to make a few posts about it to help some of you guys, who have been asking me about my experience, out. these are a few things i’ve learned during my gap year.

► it’s ok to be the only one taking a gap year

this was a really big thing for me. no one i knew decided to take one at the end of our secondary school career. i was the only person in my big old school, as for as i’m aware of, that chose to do so. i have to admit it’s really weird to be the only one in your friend group not going to university and experiencing that exciting time. in belgium it really isn’t a common thing to do either. especially not after secondary school. but! and this is a big but: you will. a gap year doesn’t mean you’re never going to go to uni/ college and experience the same as your friends! it’s a year out to work or discover what you really want to do in life. and if it just so happens you find out you prefer working straight away, that’s totally cool! whatever suits you! i just hope my friends learn to accept others who choose to work instead of studying instead of making them feel like they’re just too “dumb” for uni/college. we all choose different paths in life. let’s all try to live with that.

► keep yourself busy

one of the things most adults told me was to keep myself busy during my gap year, because otherwise i’d become incredibly lazy. for my part, this is so true. there were a few weeks at the start of october that i wasn’t working, and i became such really lazy. i slept in almost every day and i didn’t feel motivated to do anything. i also felt quite isolated and lonely. you don’t have to work to keep yourself busy though! you could travel, pick up a hobby, get better at something you’ve already learned, etc. as long as you’re keeping yourself busy and making the most out of your gap year! why would you be taking one otherwise?

► you will lose friends and make new ones

don’t be afraid of the fact you’ll eventually lose some old friends. the people who don’t invest in your friendship as much as you do don’t deserve you honestly! i started feeling lonely too, since a few of my friends never made any effort to keep in contact with me, or meet up with me, even though i tried time and time again. it’s totally normal and will happen to everyone.this doesn’t mean you should just give up on all your friendships though! but trust me: you’ll know what i’m talking about at some point in your life. at work i met a group of really great young people like me, and we have become a really close group of friends. we take out breaks together, go out after work and hang out on our days off. they’ve really given me the kind of friendship i was looking for, and i’m really grateful for that.

► don’t feel so guilty about having fun

this was a biggie for me. i can’t really explain it, but i started feeling guilty about having so much fun. in school there weren’t that many times i went out or hung out with my friends because i was focusing on studying, so whenever i made plans this year, i felt really weird about it. almost as if i was having too much fun? this is a really silly feeling and i’ve learned to let that part of me go. it’s important to bond with your friends and yourself by exploring places and making memories. don’t feel bad about it.

► money, money, money

i think everyone has a hard time figuring out how to budget and save the first time round. (if not: you should write a book for all of us who did struggle!) i’m in a position where i can save a very large part of my money each month because i only pay my parents a little each month. keeping in mind, my goal was double of what i started with, i’m incredibly close. i’m using all my money to pay for my tuition fees for 2 years and part of my rent, so i’m doing a great job so far, even if i do say so myself.  it’s not so easy for others, and it’s so normal to struggle if you’re not used to working and earning a steady income each month. don’t be too hard on yourself about this: you’re young and clueless.

► in the end: it’s only one year

it’s really easy to get it into your head that this year is going to be hard and will feel like it lasts forever, but time honestly flies. when i first starting on the first of july time seemed to go so slowly. every day seemed to last an age, and i wondered what it would feel like to only have a few months left. i’m at that stage now, and every day seems to fly by. i was told it would take me six months to get used to working, but it only took me 3. by the time october came around i was so used to getting up at a certain time, finishing at 6pm, coming home, eating, practicing on the piano and going to bed. it doesn’t seem that exciting, but we’re all creatures of habit and routine. i feel like i’ve changed a lot as a person, but also like i haven’t at all. in some aspects i’m much wiser, but at the same time i still feel like a lost kid. a year really isn’t a long time at all. 

those were just some things i’ve learned so far. i still have a total of 9 weeks left until i’m packing up and flying to barcelona to start an incredibly exciting chapter of my life. who knows what will happen! i’ll be making a few more posts about gap years, so if you’re interested in taking one, just keep an eye out!

lots of love, lou.

If you’re feeling disconcerted about how fast things are changing in your life, about how much you are changing— remember that the Jesus of your yesterday, is still the same Lord over your life today.

If you feel alone, and you’re crying out to God to be felt while you’re trying to deal with all the decisions you have to make, remember that He is still with You. There may be no whispers of direction during worship sessions, trust His word, beloved, when He told You that He’ll never leave you nor forsake You.

The God we know when we are at the mountaintops of our faith, is the same God that holds us together when we’re clumsily making our way through narrow valleys. Trust Him, love.

The Signs As Dan And Phil Quotes

Aries:  “I’m holding you back from achieving things in your life by forcing you to sit here and watch this.” /Dan

Taurus:  “I wish I was cool enough to say ‘sup’, but I- I’m not” /Phil

Gemini:  “If I had a house, I’d make all of the windows glass.” /Phil

Cancer:  “Let’s get the hecky heck out of here” /Dan

Leo:  “Fight me, you ceramic bitch.” /Dan

Virgo:  “Don’t trust chinchillas with technology.” /Phil

Libra:  “I’m about as intimidating as a butterfly.” /Dan

Scorpio:   “I’m the living embodiment of ‘it could be worse’.” /Dan

Sagittarius:  “I am just a humble trash can trying to roll my way through life” /Dan

Capricorn: “Google is obviously right all of the time and is our overlord.” /Phil

Aquarius:  “Holy mother of rectangles.” /Dan

Pisces:  ” I feel like a flamingo” /Phil

Live a Little

Live a Little: Yoonseok (threesome) (m)

Word count: 3.5k

Genre: pure filth, threesome 

This was going to be for Yoongi’s birthday but i’m late. Anyway, enjoy ^^

Originally posted by yoongiggles

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Have you heard of ex gays/lesbians? I'm a Christian and believe in God and I've been thinking about it and what if by God's help our desires can fade away and we can become normal

No. God created us to be how we are. I fought who I was for 22 years - 4 of those so hard that I wanted to die. God wouldn’t put that on me. I prayed constantly, nothing changed. When I did finally let go and be myself, God brought love into my life. I stopped fighting myself and was so happy. He created me to feel violated whenever a man touched me or even kissed me, no matter how much I trusted them. He created me to cry over fearing that I was incapable of love, when I forced myself to date men and never felt like myself. The eating disorders and depression that I dealt with because I hated who I was? No God would do that for a lesson. Not a God I believe in. My God does that to show us His path. Don’t let a book written by man ever tell you how God made you to be. He makes no mistakes and He wants you to experience love the way He intended. He wouldn’t allow you to be miserable just to fit into a standard. He made you to be you and He isn’t going to change that - that was HIS plan… not the church’s, not the Bible’s. Trust that and you’ll see how He provides. Being gay, bisexual, transgender, etc. IS normal. It’s the cult-like practices and teachings that are not.

first date starters

Send me one to see how my muse reacts. Feel free to alter to fit muses.

  • “Would you like to come in for a nightcap?”
  • “I don’t sleep with someone on the first date.”
  • “I promise, I have a better track record than this.”
  • “I don’t normally do blind dates, but [name] spoke very highly of you!”
  • “This is my favorite place for first dates.”
  • “So – do you want to get together again sometime soon?”
  • “I’m not looking for anything serious.”
  • “I don’t want the night to end.”
  • “I think it’s best if we’re upfront about what we want right now.”
  • “Wow, you don’t look anything like your picture online.”
  • “It’s so great to finally meet you in person!”
  • “I should probably tell you that I just got out of a long-term relationship.”
  • “Want to come upstairs?”
  • “I can walk you home, if you like.”
  • “Walk me home?”
  • “Let’s go dancing!”
  • “Yeah, I don’t think we should do this again.”
  • “This was fun and all, but I don’t see us working out.”
  • “That movie sucked!”
  • “I wasn’t sure you’d come.”
  • “I was starting to think you’d stood me up.”
  • “I’m done screwing around. I want a real relationship.”
  • “It’s too early to call, but I have a good feeling about this.”
  • “Let me get the check.”
  • “Want to split the check?”
  • “It’s nothing personal, I just don’t think we fit.”
  • “This was the worst date of my life.”
  • “Don’t call me again.”
  • “Oh, God, my ex is here.”
  • “That wasn’t exactly how I imagined our first date going.”
  • “This was nice. Just a simple, sweet first date.”
  • “What, no good night kiss?”
  • “I don’t think I can date a Republican/Democrat.”
  • “It’s important to me that I date someone within the faith.”
  • “Want to play a game? Twenty Questions, or something?”
  • “Trust me – don’t want to go there.”
  • “We probably shouldn’t go there. My ex hangs out there sometimes and I think seeing them would kind of kill the mood.”
  • “I don’t date much, to be honest.”
  • “I hate to come on too strong, but I really, really like you.”
  • “Can I kiss you?”
  • “Why do you even like me? Is it the money?”
  • “Look, I gotta be honest – you were rude to the waiter, and that’s a serious turn-off.”
  • Whoa! That’s off-limits until, like, the tenth date.”
  • “Wow, you come on strong, don’t you?”
  • “I’m not making the greatest impression right now, am I?”
  • “Have you ever been here before?”
  • “I’ve never been here before!”
  • “I don’t normally meet up with people from Tinder/Grindr/OkCupid.”
  • “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
  • “That’s it! I’m leaving!”
  • “Hey! You’re on this date with me, remember?”
  • “I like you, but I think you’re hung up on your ex.”
  • “You haven’t let me get a word in edgewise all night!”
  • “Are you always this shy?”
  • “So, what do you do for a living?”
  • “Why did you even agree to go out with me?”
  • “I think I’m in love with you.”
Throw It All Away [Part 2]

Originally posted by juptern

There have been more than a few people who have wanted a part 2 (including my best friend who threatened to beat me with a stick if I didn’t write one so here it is). Make sure you read [Part 1] before you read this one!

Pairing: Jughead Jones x reader
Warnings: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Fandom: Riverdale

You decided that hiding in the library during lunch would be for the best. Just because you and Jughead weren’t… friends anymore didn’t mean you weren’t friends with Betty and Veronica but you figured things would be less awkward if you’d just stay away from them while Jughead was around.

You took a history book off the shelf and examined it. This seemed like a good read. You were about to walk back over to your little corner in the library so you could start reading but all of a sudden Betty popped out of no where and scared you. You dropped your book with a yelp.

“Sorry [Y/N] didn’t mean to scare you” Betty apologized as you picked up your book.

“It’s okay Betty” you sighed “just didn’t expect to see you here”.

“About that. Why have you been staying in the library during lunch lately?”.

“Er just wanted to get some reading done is all…”.

“[Y/N] we both know that not the reason” she said giving you a look of pity. You looked away.
“Trust me I made the same mistake with Archie [Y/N]. I know you’re mad at Jughead but having him as a friend is better than not having him at all”.

“I’m not mad at him” you argued. It came out louder and angrier than you had intended so you had to take a deep breath to calm yourself down before you continued.
“Betty I miss him, I really do but I can’t just ignore these feelings”.

“Like I said I understand” Betty said gently “but a wise woman once said to me most of the time our crushes don’t like us back and that’s true. Life doesn’t always turn out how we’d like it to but life still goes on and we have to make the most of it. Trust me friends like Jughead are rare. He cares about you a lot and I just hope you can forgive him”.

Yet again you looked away from Betty feeling as if you couldn’t face her anymore. Not to mention there were tears threatening to escape your eyes and you’d rather not have people asking you why your eyes were red.

“I’m Jughead’s friend but I’m also your friend too” Betty assured placing a hand on your shoulder “no matter what you decide I’ll be here if you need me but please just consider what I said”.

You nodded weakly and with that Betty walked away, leaving you alone to think. It took you the entire rest of the day to make a decision. You knew in your heart it was the right one in the end.

“Jughead!” You found him walking to Pop’s on his own. Strange, last time you and Jughead had spoken to each other you were in a similar situation. Except it was he who had cornered you before and not the other way around. When he turned to face you he seemed rather shocked to see you.

“I thought you said…” he began.

“I know what I said” you interrupted, you paused and looked down, kicking a nearby stone with your foot.
“I’ve been doing some thinking and I’m sorry. I’m sorry I just abandoned you Jug. I was just being stupid. Sometimes things just don’t work out but we have to move on… thankfully someone reminded me about that” you gave him a weak smile “I’d rather be friends with you Jug than not have you around at all. I mean I can’t force feelings on to you right?”.

Jughead didn’t respond to any of this. He was almost frozen except for his eyes. They wondered all over your face, taking it in like it was the first time he laid eyes upon you.

“Hey ah” you continued nervously “you’re on your way to Pop’s right? Let’s go get that burger huh?”. Still he didn’t respond.
“If you’re mad at me I don’t blame you…”.

“No” Jughead replied shaking himself out of the trance he seemed to be in “I just ah… what if you don’t need to force feelings on to me?”.
You didn’t know how to respond to this. What was he trying to say?
“[Y/N] I was scared before. I’ve never been good when it comes to this sort of thing. I was scared I’d screw up and lose you. I thought keeping my feelings from you and just being friends would make things better” he let out a half heart laugh as he looked down sheepishly “turns out not telling you how I felt made me lose you anyway. I guess what I’m trying to say is…”.

He took a step toward you making it so your faces were only inches apart. You immediately felt your heart start to beat rapidly and it was as if you couldn’t suck in any air. Time almost stopped.

“I love you [Y/N]” Jughead said in a low voice. It only took him seconds to smash his lips into yours. You let out a small gasp but soon you felt yourself kissing him back. Your lips fit together perfectly as if they were made to be connected. Jughead wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you closer to him so there was no longer space between the two of you.

“I love you so much Jughead” you whispered into the kiss making Jughead smirk.

“I know. I promise you I’ll never hurt you again”.

DIVIDE REVIEW

Eraser: Eraser is easily one of Ed’s best and most honest raps I think he’s put out there. YNMIDNY and Take It Back have more the undertones of not giving a fuck about what the industry thinks and staying a step ahead while being aware of the darkness to avoid. Eraser shows the side of Ed I feel he had been trying to hide from us. It’s honest about his struggles and alludes to cocaine, which is a terrifying drug (not that he needs to be told).  It seems to be an almost apology for the wrong turns he’s made throughout his career; to us, to his family and friends, and to himself. I think this song is the perfect reminder as to why Ed took his year long break to find himself and his happiness again and for that reason it is a perfect opener for this album. It forever warms my heart endlessly to know Ed trusts us with songs like this that are so brutally honest and full of his deepest emotions. I feel happy that he can open up and get these feelings out, but I hope he never feels like he needs to apologize to us for things like this. This is a reminder that celebrities are real people too, just like you and me. It can’t be easy to live under a microscope all the time. I hope he knows how much we love and appreciate him. We are well aware he is not a perfect person and it is totally acceptable to make these mistakes and lose yourself because everyone does.

Castle on the Hill: I remember when Ed dropped this song and Shape of You at the same time, I was immediately drawn to this one despite the ABSOLUTE BOP that Shape of You is. It made me feel so nostalgic for a childhood that wasn’t even mine and that is an amazing talent that no other artist has ever really made me feel (besides when I was 4 and first heard ‘butterfly kisses’ with my dad). This song made me, for the first time in my entire existence, feel nostalgic for my home town, I remember being back on campus in the city and crying in my bed about home AND I WAS MISERABLE IN MY HOME TOWN. I have always heard that nostalgia is a dirty liar and they would be right. But I found that, even though I hated home, I felt a longingness to be there and was reminded of the little moments of drinking in corn field at my friends barn and running through fences when the neighbors called the cops, of driving down every country road around my house with my dog or best friend listening to music, of all the little memories Ed sang about. It gave me an over powering feeling of excitement for the future; to look back and feel happy and whole at my life as ed does. As I have said so many times, I feel blessed to be alive at the same time as an artist like Ed Sheeran. He trusts us with these personal feelings. Hearing this song reminded me a lot of the same sensation I got from watching the Photograph music video. I felt like he had let us into such a different point in his life, before fame and music and before we existed in the same world. Letting us into his childhood and pre-fame life is such a big deal and he has no obligation to tell us anything about his past. I’m lucky to love an artist that acts as our friend in telling us childhood stories and secrets.

Dive: This one if for sure in the top 3 best of this album. I love the beat and the whole idea of starting a relationship and being nervous on whether or not to trust them or to just dive in. I think this might be the most relatable and best song both lyrically and sound wise on this album. Also, I low key see this as an Ath*na drag… do with that what you will.

Shape of You: I’m very happy Ed released this song first because it’s catchy and attracted more people to the album and him in general. It’s a very different sound and at first listen, I thought it was the SING of divide and didn’t love it, though it is an absolute tune. As I listen to it more, the more I really hear the lyrics. I appreciate a big star like Ed writing a song about the female body without degrading it. Also, he is talking about the entire shape of the female body; any and all types. As someone who has struggled with eating disorders and body image issues, it actually made me tear up a bit when he talked about appreciating the female body because the media usually puts pressure on women to look a certain way that isn’t possible and I guess I just really love Ed’s appreciation of women in every sense that he does. Also, that music video actually killed me and is absolute perfection. *cough**cough* SHIRTLESS ED!!

Perfect: I knew this song would be my favorite on the album because Ed had told us that this song was about Cherry and you all know how hard I ship them. Lyrically this song is beautiful. I think it really shows a very happy and in love side of Ed that we didn’t really get in + or x and I love that he is happy now. It is the purest song I have ever heard and an amazing change of pace from all of Ed’s other love songs because it’s not so sad. Thank you Ed for sharing yet another extremely personal part and emotion in your life. Cherry is extremely lucky to have such a beautiful song written for her AND I BETTER BE INVITED TO THIS WEDDING.

Galway Girl: This song makes me want to take Irish dancing again like I did when I was 4 years old just so I have the proper dance moves for this tour. I really appreciate hearing Ed say “pretty little” and sing about Irish girls. I had heard that this song wasn’t approved by his label because I guess Irish folk music isn’t popular but bitch now it is. I appreciate that Ed has always felt he could stay true to himself and where he comes from in his music. He is always 100% honest and embodies his roots, even when it’s not “the popular” thing to do. He had always talked about how important it is for artists to break in America to make it big, so most artists gear their art towards the American audience; Ed, though, has always kept it diverse and different. He further emphasizes the importance of being yourself to be the most successful you can be. Without realizing it, Ed has influenced and inspired so many people, whether it be in pursuing a musical career or just going out and doing what you want regardless of what anyone says. What a guy, what a bop.

Happier: This one was such a tease because I was really expecting a happy song but instead I got my heart ripped out. I think this goes with New Man because it’s about moving on from someone. It’s very heartbreaking to see someone you loved be happier with someone else and learn to be okay with it because if you really loved them you’d be happy for them regardless on if it includes you. This is another + vibes song and a sad song, and I live for the sad songs.

New Man: This song is a great change in pace and it gets goofy but is also serious. This is part of The Holy TrinityTM: YNMIDNY, Take It Back, and now New Man. This is such a drag on the fuck boys and I appreciate it and the fact that, even big famous popstar Ed, isn’t a fuck boy. This song drags this New Man to the deepest pits of hell with a catchy beat and lyrics about bleached assholes. Clearly this song is the quality content we all expected on this album and this honestly has to be in my top 3 favorite tracks on this album.

Hearts Don’t Break Around Here: For whatever reason, I really thought this was going to be the next Take It Back. I thought it was going to be a rap but again I WAS WRONG. This is the only time I actually enjoy being wrong and I should just learn to expect it with Ed because he’s always doing some type of shit to surprise us. It ended up being one of the sweetest songs on the album. It really continues on from Perfect and it makes my heart feel so full when I think of how happy he is now. As a fan, I think our job is to support his career but also respect his personal life and encourage his happiness; even if that doesn’t include us. This song just fills my heart and warms me at the thought of the place someone must be in to write songs like this. I feel lucky to hear it and anyone who has been through heart break and come out the other side can relate to the complete feeling you find in someone that you know won’t do that to you again. Ed somehow has the talent to make me feel in love when I’m not and has the ability to articulate the sweetest and purest feelings through amazing lyrics and song.

What Do I Know: To be completely honest, this is my least favorite song on the album and the only one I don’t really like. Ed had said his favorite lyric was in this song (Love can change the world) but I personally find it generic. Whoops. I do like the beat and how he mentioned his father. This album has such a big emphasis on family and love, so lyrically it related to that. But yeah not my favorite so I gtg.

How Would You Feel (Paean): I love this song and I’m adding it to the second Holy TrinityTM on this album: Perfect, Hearts Don’t Break Around Here, and How Would You Feel. These all truly embrace the happy and in love feeling of this album and of course I love any song about Cherry. The story behind this song actually makes me kind of laugh because Ed had only just reconnected with Cherry a week before writing this and he says he loves her. I actually really do love the sound of this song, though to be honest it’s not my favorite on the album or lyrically. I think I didn’t dismiss this song because of the back story of it. I think this song has a very + feel to it about being young and innocently in love and I really live for that. It’s a very soft and beautifully written insight to the very precious and personal time in their relationship.

Supermarket Flowers: OH GOD HERE COMES THE WATER WORKS. This song killed me just like I had expected. Ed has always been incredible at writing songs in honor of other people. I think this song killed me just as much as Afire Love did because I had just lost my great grandmother a week before this album was released. I felt an incredible connection to putting someone to rest and getting supermarket flowers to decorate their grave. It’s heartbreaking but also peaceful to know they are at rest. “you are an angel in the shape of my mom” killed me because I have never heard someone describe having an angel in such a beautiful way, as well as “heaven singing hallelujah you’re home” describing the peace that comes at knowing someone’s at rest. He wrote this song for his mother and played it at his grandmother’s funeral, which is so personal and beautiful.

Barcelona: Hearing Ed sing in Spanish was beautiful and amusing because I don’t think it was proper Spanish, but again I love the very worldly vibes that came with this album. I think this year off was both good for Ed’s mental health and his sound. It’s not only lyrically diverse but also sound and culture diverse and I love it. I feel like I’m traveling around the world listening to this album.

Bibi Be Ye Ye: I was especially excited for this song because I knew it was the song he wrote in Africa. This song truly embodies the theme of Divide and its diverse sounds. I remember when x came out and people were complaining that he “sold out” to pop and lost his sound, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I was pleasantly surprised that Ed took such a big leap in sound and really changed his image and I loved it. He got to experiment and find himself in x and I think that gave way to his confidence to make Divide because he did so well last time with the diversity. I appreciate the he takes sounds from all over the world and represents other cultures while still respecting them and of course giving them credit. This is also such a BOP and the upbeat kind of song that it going to make everyone dance at his concerts.

Nancy Mulligan: This is an absolute BOP and the story behind it is amazing. It’s quite amazing that he wrote a song in the point of view of his grandfather, much like how I was blown away by Small Bump. The idea that he could embody the view point of a love story that happened years before he was born is quite amazing. One of the things I enjoyed most about this album was his focus on love and family and this song fuses them together with a very Irish sound. When this song title came up on the track list before the album was dropped, I was very curious to find out who this song was about because WHO IS NANCY? Ed being Ed didn’t fail to let us in on not only his very personal life but also his grandparents love story, which is quite an amazing tale. Like so many of Ed’s songs, I felt like I was almost invading someone personal space or listening in to a deep conversation that I was not part of. It is so personal and no matter how many times Ed is open and honest with us, I still get blown away; especially with this song in the fact that he references his grandmother in the point of view of his late grandfather. His story telling skills forever give me chills and take my breath away. I can only imagine what his grandmother must feel listening to this.

Save Myself: Jesus I was not ready for this song. It had so much pain in it and it kills me to know how greedy and selfish people are towards people who give and are the most selfless. It worries me a lot about Ed, but again I think this song compliments Eraser. He really needed the break from fame and especially his phone. I hope Ed learns to say no and to learn to be a little more selfish when it comes to giving people things, and I hope people who took and took from him learn to be more appreciative. I could say so much more about that, but I think I’ve rambled enough.

 

So, overall I think this is the best album Ed wrote and I love every song on it, which is a first! He was so open and honest with us about his family, emotions, love, pain, and loss. I appreciate Ed and all he gives us. Love you Ed, I wish you a long life xx

anonymous asked:

i could just see jyn and cassian in the arranged marriage au when jyn is under the impression that they will just both have seperate lives and probably have relationships with other people and casually says that and cassian is like already in panic mode

A slight variation on this…


It’s just supposed to be drinks. Drinks with friends, with close confidants in her own home, her own living room, relaxing and having a laugh. It’s a moment for Jyn to just be Jyn Erso and not Her Royal Highness, but something’s gone amiss. She can sense it.

Her vodka tonic settles on her lips as she watches Cassian cross the room. He pauses a moment and casts her a quick glance, his eyes darting and narrowing on Luke and Melshi who are seated next to her. She sees his lips tighten, and he walks to the bar, his stride seemingly normal, but there’s tension in his shoulders, in the clench of his jaw. He pours himself a drink, methodical in his measurements, and he lingers there alone, nursing his drink. It’s then that she sees Bodhi entering the room after Cassian, shrugging his shoulders at their school chum, Shara. 

Jyn frowns deeply and excuses herself from her friends.

She grabs Bodhi by the arm and pulls him aside into the kitchen.

“Hey!” he protests, throwing off her arm. “What’s this about?”

“What did you say to him?” she demands.

“To whom?”

“You know who!” she says. “Cassian!”

Bodhi runs a hand through his hair. “What? He’s fine. I didn’t say anything to him crazy, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“You said something!” she says, raising her voice every so slightly. “He looks upset.” And as good as Cassian might be at hiding his feelings, Jyn is better at reading them.

Bodhi looks past her to where Cassian is still standing. “He seems fine, Jyn.”

“No,” she grits. ”He’s clearly not happy about whatever it is that you said. Look at his face.”

“His face is fine, Jyn.”

“I tell you, he’s upset. Look at the way he’s holding his drink. You can see the tension in his arm.”

“You can tell?” Bodhi asks, genuinely surprised. “You can read his face?” He does another double take. “Really? That just looks like his normal face. You sure?”

“What did you say?” she insists, ignoring whatever Bodhi is implying.

She and Cassian have only been married a few weeks, and they’ve been getting alone fine. But if Bodhi has said anything to disturb their peace…

“I just dropped some hints about the thing. You know the thing.”

“I do not know the thing,” Jyn says, trying to tamp down her exasperation.

Bodhi leans in; whispers. “You know, about the two of you being married and all but, know, being free to carry on with others if some strikes your fancy since you’re not in this thing because it’s love, right?”

Her heart stutters and she stares at Bodhi, aghast. “Bodhi,” she says, and it’s not anger but heartbreak in her voice. “How could you?” But Jyn doesn’t wait around for Bodhi’s reply or his apology or his argument. She makes a beeline instead for Cassian–for her husband. Whatever their relationship, it’s between the two of them and no one else. On a certain level, she understands that Bodhi is just trying to help, but Jyn’s always been bold and blunt enough to say what’s on her mind if it’s on her mind. This, however, was not one of those subjects she wished to breach, especially in the abstract. She thinks how Cassian must feel so keenly a betrayal of it now that it seems like she sent her friend to do her dirty work.

He’s gone from the bar when she leaves the kitchen, but she finds him on the terrace, alone beneath the moon. She sees his head tilt when he hears her footsteps approach, but he stares ahead into the night sky, swirling his glass, the ice clinking together.

Sidling up to him, she stays a safe distance of three feet away. His head falls to his chest and he takes a sip of his Scotch. 

“Interesting evening,” he says, breaking the silence between them. 

“Interesting conversations, too, I hear,” she says. Cassian gives a small laugh and glances at her out of the corner of his eye.

“Don’t listen to Bodhi,” she says, cutting to the chase.

“He mean well, doesn’t he?” he asks.

“He does, but that doesn’t mean he’s right or that he speaks for me.”

“Only you speak for you,” Cassian says, and she feels a smile tug at her lips at his tone. It’s almost…fond.

“That’s right,” she laughs. She places a hand on the marble railing of the terrace and watches his free hand settle inches from hers. She feels her breath catch and coughs to release it. “What’s between us is between us. And we’ll discuss it with each other, no one else. If there’s ever anyone who catches my eye…” she starts, though the rest of the words fade on her tongue. “If anyone catches yours–we’ll talk about it. We can live our separate lives, but there’s also a life we have to live together. We should be able to trust each other that much, shouldn’t we?”

She turns to really look at him them, but his face is suddenly shuttered, and she can’t read him at all. Not knowing what else to say, she repeats herself. “We should be able to trust each other, shouldn’t we, Cassian?”

And at last he nods, slowly and carefully. “Trust goes both ways, doesn’t it, Jyn?”

Being around kids is sadly validating that heteronormativity is so hurtful to lgbt+ kids or all kids for that matter

A 4 year old girl I babysat told me about an adorable girl in her gymnastics class that she likes. She literally asked me “are girls allowed to marry other girls because I wanna marry Abby?”

-I couldn’t say anything bc I met her parents through church and I’d probably lose my babysitting job

Same girl told me she wished she was a boy so she could marry a girl. Like the poor little girl isn’t allowed to know she can marry a girl she likes bc why?

I remember when my cousin was younger we had a “girl” elf on the shelf and our elf one night showed up in a little christmas tree with an elsa barbie and my cousin was convinced that our elf and elsa were married. Like it was the cutest thing ever but our uncle literally told her they cant get married because thats illegal. She freaking comes back with “ They got married in the north pole so it’s not illegal.” like kids can make shit up just like adults can. He just kept arguing with her. A grown man fighting with a 7 year old because she has a healthy imagination? ok.

My cousin who’s 6 has been begging me since he could talk to paint his nails and do his makeup. He has adhd and is literally the most energetic child, will not sit through a movie but will watch me do my makeup for an hour, mesmerized.

I played pretend salon with him the other day and he was so happy but the actual saddest thing when he heard my door open he jumped scared that someone would come yell at him for being happy and doing something he likes. HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT?

-I can’t let him actually paint his nails or put on makeup because when I do I get in trouble and so will he

Same little boy told me the other day he wishes he was a girl. He asked me if I ever wanted to be a boy. I answered honestly and told him yes.

-I tried not to elaborate much so he wouldn’t get in trouble for repeating it. Do you know how much I wanted to tell this child that he’s feeling such a common thing though? or that he doesnt even have to be a girl to wear makeup or paint his nails? or if he does want to be a girl then thats OK??

THE MOST FUCKED PART IS ITS ALL MADE UP. Gender roles/stereotypes are made up and they are hurting our children.

Like come on people! These kids have had only heterosexual media shoved down their throats their whole existence, yet they still have these questions and feelings!!! and I’m telling you the children i’m talking about are sheltered catholic kids who have no exposure to anything promoting positivity towards lgbt+ people. How are these feelings so unnatural if children who know NOTHING about gay people/culture have these questions.

Maybe parents don’t see this because they are so heavily clouded by their upbringings. or these kids trust me because i’m their babysitter/cousin and they know I won’t yell at them for asking valid fucking questions. Idk how parents are so blind that they can’t see they’re hurting their own children.

How does my mom still refer to my potential future life partner as he him your future husband man when I don’t even fucking know. Why can’t we let our kids discover these things themselves????

ps. I know gender identity is not the same as sexuality I’m not sure if I miss worded anything, if so I’ll change it.

In this shadow work challenge, we will be exploring our past and delving into some of the core experiences that have helped create and reinforce our shadows. Please keep in mind that shadow work is a highly individual process and there is simply no way I could ever devise any sort of curriculum that yields impeccable results for everyone. It is up to you to give this challenge true substance. This is not a set of step-by-step instructions or specified exercises, but a collection of interrelated subjects that form a generic basis for shadow work that you will [hopefully] be able to build off of. 

The prompts included were designed to be responded to in one (or all) of the following ways: journaling, creative expression, or tarot reading. I recommend journaling and/or creative expression as the basis with tarot as a supplement, but it can serve as a stand alone tarot evaluation as well (which is why I created this Tree of Life Spread). Whatever works for you, go for it! This challenge is only meant to get your mind reeling, and as you will see it’s pretty cut and dry, so I encourage you to use it as you please– get creative and allow it to evolve as you go. 

If you feel comfortable doing so, please share your work and tag “january shadow work challenge”. I for one would love to see it, and I’m sure those who are trying to get their foot in the door with shadow work would appreciate some reference material. In any case, I thank all for participating and as always I welcome public or private feedback! 

(P.S. I did not get to work on/edit this as thoroughly as I would have liked, so please forgive me for any errors or sloppy writing in general! Also, feel free to shoot me an ask if you have any questions. Best Wishes and Happy New Year!)

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hello! I've you seen the Netflix documentary-series The Keepers? I've been struggling to determine if the Catholic faith is the right choice in light of the repeat cycle of abuse/cover up.

I can’t watch it due to personal reasons but I have read each episode.

Honestly if you’re trying to find the truth in a place where there are people who don’t sin, you’re just not going to find it.

The top to careers for sex offenders are teachers and nurses (I don’t have time to search please feel free), and yet, have you heard anything about these two careers? Do we make jokes about teachers and nurses molesting children like we do priests? Nope. In fact we send our children off to school completely 100% trusting children to spend a majority of their life with teachers. We also trust nurses to be alone with our children in the hospital and during doctor visits.

Pedophiles will work where they can harm children most easily. Period. That means they will seek out jobs where they are most likely to be trusted alone with children. It’s vile and it’s disgusting.

The thing is, people sin, and even people who serve the church sin. There are no excuses for their sins, just like their are no excuses for mine. I hate their sins especially abuse of children and I’m angry they would use the priesthood and my Church as a tool to abuse them. But I won’t turn away from the faith because of sinners.

The devil will always attack the church, and what better way than through priests and the family?

Happy With You (Jimin x Reader)

Genre : fluff, a very bit of angst, mention of smut

Summary : you just knew that you were pregnant and you were worried on how your husband, Jimin, would react to it.

You were still sitting on the floor of the bathroom, you have been for 15 minutes, just staring at the pregnancy test on your left hand and your phone on your right hand, a calendar in front of you showing how many days you have been late for your period. Your mind was racing, thinking about hundreds of scenarios of what would happen next, some are good some are bad.

“You know, you should probably call him.” Your bestfriend said to you from the bed you and Jimin shared, eating potato chips so casually like this wasn’t a big deal.

“I don’t know what to say,” you said, still staring at the test that said that you were indeed having a baby growing inside you.

Your bestfriend rolled her eyes, “Maybe a ‘Hey, honey, guess what, you’re going to be a father!’ would be great. That was what I said to my husband and he was ecstatic.”

You finally moved to rest your head on the bathroom door behind you and sighed, “I mean, it’s not like we haven’t talk about kids before. Jimin have said he wanted to, but I don’t think it would be just 6 months after we got married.”

“So what? I got pregnant 2 months after I got married to Namjoon, and we’re gonna have another one just around a year after our first baby. Trust me, it’s okay.” she said while patting her huge belly.

And now you finally, finally, stood up and moved to the bed, flopping yourself on top of it and stared at the ceiling, “Remembering how your vigorous sex life is, I don’t think Namjoon would be surprised if you get knocked up so fast.”

Your bestfriend raised her brows, “Isn’t you two’s sex life vigorous too? I remembered hearing weird noises from Jimin’s studio, or that time when the two of you made that parked car looked like it was jumping up and down, or when you two came out from the practice room and had the whole mirrors fogged up, or–”

“Stop it!” You snapped, your cheeks heating up so bad while you tried to hide your embarrasses smile.

“Oh honey, the list goes on and on,” she winked.

You shot up from the bed and looked at your bestfriend, “And it’s creepy how you were always the one to know about it and saw us after. Don’t tell me that’s your kink, please.”

She shrugged, throwing a potato chip to her mouth, “That’s not my kink, you and Jimin just do it everywhere. I’m sure the other members know about it too.”

You groaned and fell back to the bed, “Oh fuck me. Now I know why they always shake their eyebrows at me whenever I am with Jimin.”

Your bestfriend probably sensed your stress and anxiety because she put down her potato chips and started to look at you seriously, “Listen, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. You’re both married, that is not unusual. And honey, about this pregnancy thing, trust me it would be okay. Jimin loves you so much. I know he’s going to love the baby even before it is born, and he’s going to love the baby more after the baby is born. If you’re worried about Jimin being an idol and wouldn’t want to have a baby to disturb his schedule, it’s not true. Look at Namjoon and I, and our babygirl, I know he’s an idol but he’s also a human, he wants to have a private life where he can build a family, and I trust Jimin to have that kind of feeling too. Don’t worry so much, it’s not good for the baby. Okay?”

Your bestfriend who usually joke around seemed so serious and sincere you actually felt like crying. And you did, so she hugged you for a long time.

When you finally stopped crying, she got up and said, “Now, make that phone call to Jimin. And just try not to worry too much. I’ll leave you guys to it because I’m actually craving nachos now, probably going to crash on Namjoon’s writing time after all.”

Still hiccuping you nodded and thanked your bestfriend for everything. She left you on your apartment alone.

Now, about that phone call…

You took a deep breath and just started to call your husband before you changed your mind. It actually wasn’t a good idea because you still sounded like you just finished crying because the moment Jimin answered your call and heard you, he said “Babe, what’s wrong?”

Hearing his soft voice you loved so much made you start crying again. You didn’t know how you were going to survive this pregnancy because you were already so sensitive about everything.

You heard him stood up abruptly, Jimin was probably taking a rest from a dance practice and now you kinda feel bad about disturbing him. “Y/N, you’re scaring me, what is it?” you could hear the worry in his voice and you cried harder.

“I… I–I–I,” you started but you just couldn’t say anything more.

“That’s it, I’m going home. I’ll be there in 5 minutes,” Jimin said in a rush, you could hear him taking his car keys and the other members asking him what’s going on.

“N–no it’s fine, I–I’m f-fine.” You hiccuped again.

“Baby, you don’t sound fine and it’s scaring me so much,” he sound exasperated and worried, “I’m going home okay, I’m on my way. Don’t turn off the phone until I get there, okay?”

You didn’t know why you just couldn’t say it to him and saved him from being worried. So you just said, “O-okay. I lo-ove you, Jiminie.”

Jimin sighed from the other line, “I know, honey. I love you too. So much. Now stop crying, okay? I’m almost there.”

The whole way he kept telling you how much he loved you and how everything was going to be okay even when he still didn’t know why you were crying.

You were still on the bed in your and Jimin’s bedroom when he found you and kneeled in front of you on the bed.

“Hey baby, hey hey,” he kissed you softly on the mouth repeatedly and brushed your hair back, trying to calm you down, “Stop crying, it’s okay. I’m here now, tell me what’s wrong. You’re worrying me. Are you hurt?”

Jimin looked at you straight to your eyes and suddenly you were taken back to the time you first saw him and how everything inside of you just yearned for him. You remembered seeing his first smile and thought about how beautiful it was and how it made you happy too, just seeing his smile. Those crinkles on the edges of his eyes when he laughed and how his eyes sparkled. That crooked tooth of his that made you think of him as perfection. And again, those brown eyes of his that held so many emotions and words that cannot be said, the love from him to you. Now it filled with worry.

You still couldn’t find your voice so you shook your head first. “I-I’m not h-hurt.”

“Then tell me why you’re crying, baby, so I can take care of you.”

Still looking into his beautiful eyes, you decided to just showed him the pregnancy test that was still in your grip. You were a bit surprised he didn’t noticed, he was THAT worried.

He furrowed his eyebrows at first when he saw it, still haven’t understood what was happening. But after he looked at it more, he started to look back at you slowly. His face was unreadable.

Scared was an understatement with what you were feeling right now.

“You’re.. You’re pregnant?” Jimin finally said.

You gave him a little smile and nodded, still unsure.

“But… But… But how?” Jimin asked but looked like he wanted to smack himself, “I mean, I know how because I was inside of you so many times,” you blushed furiously, “But how… I mean, why are you crying then? Aren’t you happy?”

You looked hopefully at him, “Are you, Jiminie?”

He looked shockingly at you, “Of course I’m happy! Why wouldn’t I be? I’m going to be a father.” After he said it once it was as if it finally clicked and suddenly a huge smile appeared on his face. “I’m going to be a father! A father, Y/N!! And you’re going to be a mother!!! Oh my God! Y/N, thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!” he exclaimed while kissing you repeatedly, bringing you down to the bed with him and turned you so you were under him, careful not to crush you with his weight. You couldn’t help but giggle, suddenly it felt like a weight was lifted from your shoulders.

He was still kissing you until finally he stopped and furrowed his eyebrows, “But why are you crying? Aren’t you happy? You still haven’t answered my questions.”

“Of course I’m happy. I’m just……worried.”

“Why?”

After seeing his reaction, you felt kinda bad for telling him this. “I was afraid you wouldn’t want the baby.”

But rather than being mad at you for expecting the worst of him, he just said, “Oh honey, did I give that kind of feeling? I’m so sorry. Of course I want the baby. I want us to start a family.”

“I’m sorry too, Jiminie.”

“It’s okay, Y/N, I understand. With me being busy might make you think that, but trust me, I want it so much. I just haven’t had the time to talk about it with you, and I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry for making you worried.”

“I’m sorry for making you worried too.”

“I’m sorry for making you worried about me worrying you.” Now he was being ridiculous.

You chuckled, finally stopped crying entirely. “We might ended up fighting about who apologized the most by the end of the night.”

Jimin threw his head back and laughed, making you smile and your heart to fluttered. And then he turned serious, “No, honey, we might ended up tangled in each other by the end of the night, completely sated and happy, after a celebration I’m going to give you.” Jimin started trailing kisses from your mouth to your neck. Caressing you with both of his warm hands and unbuttoning your pajamas, leaving you in your bra and panties.

You were getting hot when you thought of something, “Wait, you really want to start this family right? It’s not too soon?”

Jimin looked up from your neck, “Yes and no. I know we’re young but I really want to start a family with you. And I feel like you’re going to be a great mother.”

“And I feel like you’re going to be a great father.” You smiled lovingly to him.

He started to continue what he was doing when you stopped him again, “Wait, shouldn’t we call our parents? And maybe inform your other members because they’re probably worried why you just left the practice room earlier?”

“We’ll tell our parents tomorrow. And don’t worry about the other members.”

“But–” you were just about to say that the other members might call him soon to ask about it when Jimin’s phone rang.

Jimin was still caressing you and touching you passionately when he answered the call, you couldn’t really concentrate on what they were saying because Jimin just caressed that spot under your breast you loved so much.

On the phone, Tae said, “Hey Jiminie, everything alright?”

“Everything is perfect. Y/N is pregnant,” Jimin answered hurriedly, his other hand still touching that part you loved, you couldn’t helped but moaned out loud. “Now we’re in the middle of something. Bye.” Jimin shut off the phone call.

He was just starting to kiss you again when his phone rang once more. He thought of ignoring it, but knew if it was one of the members, they won’t stop calling until one of you answered.

Jimin answered on the 5th ring, heard the excited sound of the members screaming “CONGRATULATIONS!!!” so loud you could also hear it, and then they shut it off right after, leaving you and Jimin dumbfounded.

Jimin chuckled, “They’re crazy.”

You also chuckled but immediately turned into a moan when Jimin’s mouth moved to your breast.

“I can’t wait to have little you and I’s running around the house,” he said between pleasuring you.

“I can’t wait too. I love you.”

“I love you too. So much. And thank you for giving me happiness, Y/N.”

And then let’s just say, by the end of that night, Jimin fulfilled his promise to you.

Emergency Room Rules:

Bahahaha!!! This is GRRRRRRRRREAT!!😷🤕😎😙😇😈 loved this , had to share,

EMERGENCY ROOM RULES:
Here are some tips to those who may end up in an ER, be it yourself or a family member.

-If it requires the ambulance team and entire truck crew of firefighters to transport you and safely place you on a hospital stretcher, it is time to go on a diet.

-When you present to the triage nurse, do not tell him/her that your doctor called ahead. If you survey our waiting area, probably 50% of the people waiting said the same thing, and the other 50% use the ER as their regular doctor.

-Never start out by saying, “I was searching the Internet … ”

-When asked how much you weigh, please do not give the “Deer-In-The-Headlights Look”, and tell us you “really don’t know”. It’s a simple question with a simple answer.

-Just because you have a phone and know how to call 911, we are not impressed by your arrival on an ambulance stretcher. You had better be sick.

-If you came escorted via EMS for multiple complaints that started more than one week ago and your entire family followed the ambulance to the hospital, you will be labeled a ninnie and treated like one, enjoy the waiting area with your family.

-One complaint/ailment per visit, please.

-Just because you came in on a ambulance, doesn’t mean you’re going home on one. You better start making arrangements, now. I am not driving you home, or figuring out how to get you home. Cab vouchers are not an option.

-If you have one of these four, go to your own doctor in the morning: A Migraine; the Flu; a stomach virus; or a stuffy nose.

-Do not ask us how long it will be. We don’t know. I don’t know what is coming through my door 30 seconds from now,so I sure as hell don’t know when you’re getting a room.

-We have priorities. We understand that you have been waiting for two hours in the waiting room. If you don’t want to wait, make an appointment with a doctor. The little old lady that just walked in looking OK to you is probably having a massive heart attack. That is why she goes first.

-If your mother is a patient and we ask her a question, let her answer it.

-If your child has a fever, you had damn well better give him Tylenol® before coming in. DO NOT let the fever remain high just so I will believe the child has a fever. Do you want your child to have a seizure? Do you?

-If you are well enough to complain about the wait, you are well enough to go home.

-Do not utter the words “it is in my chart”, I don’t have your chart, and I don’t have the time to call and get it. Just tell me. It is faster.

-We know how many times you’ve been to an ER. We can usually tell if you are faking it during the first 5 seconds of talking to you. Do not lie to us. If you lie about one thing, we will have to assume you are lying about everything. You don’t want that.

-If you have diabetes and do not control it, you are committing slow suicide.

-If you are a female between 16 and 42 and your last period was between 28-35 days ago, please don’t waste our time if you are here for Abdominal Pain & Vaginal bleeding. Guess what!!?? You got your period, again.

-Do not bring your entire posse with you. One person at the bedside is all you need. It is really difficult to move around seven people who are in the way if you are really sick.

-Every time I ask you a question, I learn more about what is wrong with you. I don’t care if I asked you what day it is four different times. Each time I ask, it is for a reason. Just answer the questions, regardless whether you have answered them before.

-If you want something, be nice. I will go out of my way to piss off rude people.

-Our definition of sick is not your definition of sick. If a member of the ER staff says that someone is sick, it means that they are in the process of DYING. They have had a massive stroke, are bleeding out, having a heart attack, or have been shot. We don’t consider a kidney stone, sick. Painful, yes. Sick, no.

-At any given time, one nurse has a minimum of 4 patients. One doctor has up to 15. You are not our only one so don’t act like you are!!!

-There is a law (similar to Murphy’s) in the ER. If you have four patients: one of them will be sick (see above for definition); one of them will be whining constantly; one of them will be homeless; and one of them will a delightful patient. (don’t be the whiner). Please.

-If you see someone pushing a big cart down the hall at full speed and you hear bells going off, do not ask for a cup of coffee. Someone is dying, you inconsiderate a*****e. In the ER, bells don’t ring for nothing. Sit down, shut up, and let us work.

-If you can bi**h about the blood pressure cuff being too tight, or the IV hurting, you are not in that much pain.

-Physicians and nurses are not waiters. We are not customer service representatives. This is not McDonald's®, and you very well may NOT have it your way. Our job is to save your life, or at least make you feel better. If you want a pillow, two blankets, and the lights dimmed, go to the Ramada®.

-If you have any sort of stomach pain and you ask for something to eat, you are not sick.

-Do not talk s**t about the other members of staff I work with. The doctor that you hate? I work with him every day, and I know that he knows what he is doing. I trust him a lot more that I trust you. I am not here to be your friend, and neither is he. I will tell him what you said, and we will laugh about it. If you want a buddy, go somewhere else.

-If you are homeless, don’t ask for a bus token or cab voucher to get home. It just confuses the staff.

-Please don’t tell us how to do our job. Do we go to your place of business and tell you how to do your job?

-Please don’t bring in a “show and tell”. If you have to fish it out of the toilet, it’s really not necessary to bring it in; we will take your word. If you did fish something out of the toilet, you may not use my pen.

“Author Unknown”

Quotes for the Elements

Fire: Aries, Leo, Sagittarius
The most powerful force on earth is the human soul on Fire.

People who shine from within don’t need the spotlight.

The inner fire is the most important thing mankind possesses.

She was beautiful but she was beautiful in the way a forest fire is beautiful: something to be admired from a distance, never up close.

Light yourself on fire with passion and people will come from miles to watch you burn.

Your ego is your soul’s worst enemy.

Earth: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn
Forget not that the Earth delights to feel your bare feet.

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.

Don’t talk, act. Don’t promise, show. Don’t promise, prove.

The most dangerous person in normal society is the honest person who has been pushed too far.

Fear of change is the enemy of success.

Nothing worth having comes easy.

Air: Gemini, Libra, Aquarius
You are intelligent not because you think you know everything without questioning, but rather because you question everything you think you know

Confidence and intelligence will never stop being beautiful.

Intelligence and creativity are the ultimate aphrodisiacs.

Over-thinking ruins you. Ruins the situation. Twists things around. Makes you worry and just makes everything much worse than it actually is.

We are dying from overthinking. We are slowly killing ourselves by thinking about everything. Think. Think. Think. You can never trust the human mind anyway. It’s a death trap.

I know what it’s like to be afraid of your own mind.

Water: Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces

Water is the mirror that has the ability to show us what we cannot see. It is a blueprint for our reality, which can change with a single positive thought. All it takes is faith, if you’re open to it.

To understand water is to understand the cosmos, the marvels of nature, to understand life itself.

A strong person feels deeply, loves fearlessly, and cries as freely as they laugh. A strong person is both soft and powerful.

People cry not because they are weak but because they have been strong for too long.

Underneath my outside face there’s a face that none can see. A little less smiley, a little less sure, but a whole lot more like me.

The people experiencing the most pain are the same who always try to make others smile.


Find your dominant Element or learn more about the Elements in Astrology: Fire ☆  Earth  ☆  Air  ☆  Water

Hate To See Your Heartbreak

Summary: Guiding Josh through a heartbreak. 

Word Count: 1,017.

A/N: Holy shit, it’s been a while but finally I’m able to post a new Josh fic for you guys. This entire thing was heavily inspired by Paramore’s song (hence the title) and I thought it was a perfect song to write a fic about. Also, Debby and Josh’s relationship is mentioned in this and yes I’m very well aware that they broke up a long time ago. Hope you guys enjoy and feedback would be greatly appreciated!

Originally posted by tylerandthejosephs

Keep reading

Learning To Love - Bucky Barnes

Originally posted by seabasschino

Not my gif, credits to the amazing owner!

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Reader (written in 1st person)

Word Count: 5693 (this is long as fuck I’m sorry hahaha)

Warnings: there is some smut at the end just fyi

A/N: I wrote this as kind of a prequel to Civil War, because I always wondered what Bucky had been up to all that time after Winter Soldier. 

Part 2

At the end of winter soldier the reader (who’s basically Tony’s adoptive daughter) stubbornly tags along with Bucky. She knows Bucky’s not a bad person because Steve had told her about him, she knows he’d doing this because of what Hydra made him. She feels sorry for him and wants to help him get rid of “the winter soldier”

*2 years ago/right after tws*

‘I thought I was supposed to lay low, how is this laying low?’ I rolled my eyes as the brunette standing next to me pulled his hat further down to cover his face. ‘First thing about running from people: don’t run, walk.’ I told him. ‘Fine, then why don’t we walk the hell away from here?’ He replied with a sigh. ‘You wanna remember who you really are?’ I asked him as I crossed my arms over my chest. Bucky sighed deeply but nevertheless nodded his head. ‘Great, then this is the place to start. Come on.’ I said as I walked inside the museum. It was less crowded today, luckily. Even though Bucky was wearing a mask half the time he was killing people, he nor I were going to risk anybody recognizing him. ‘That’s the man I pulled out of the river.’ He said pointing up at a picture of Steve. I nodded my head. ‘Everything he said was true, he was your best friend. Look.’ I said nodding down at video playing of them smiling and laughing at the camera. ‘Is…that me?’ Bucky gasped leaning slightly closer towards the screen. ‘Sergeant James Bunchanan Barnes.’ I smiled. ‘I don’t remember any of this…’

‘You will, I promise.’

**__**

‘I still think we should look for a place outside of town…You know, I let you come with me I should at least get to pick to place.’ Bucky muttered as his eyes scanned across the people walking among the streets. ‘We’re in Bucharest, Bucky. No one’s going to find us.’ I chuckled. ‘And besides, this is the cheapest place we’ll find, trust me. It’s not like I have a lot of money on me. And you have none, so…’ I added. ‘Let’s just get inside.’ Bucky sighed, scanning the place one last time before entering the building. It was probably instinct. Always being alert for threats. I scrunched my nose as I looked up the many stairs we had to climb. ‘They could’ve at least afforded an elevator.’ I pouted. ‘You chose this place.’ Bucky told me. ‘Yeah, yeah.’ I sighed as I started climbing the stairs. 

When we finally reached our floor I grabbed the key from my pocket and opened the door. ‘Home sweet home.’ I sang walking inside. It wasn’t much, the living area and kitchen we’re practically in one room. There were two doors which I assumed lead to the bedroom and the bathroom. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll make this place look homey in no time.’ I smiled. I’d placed my hand on Bucky’s arm in the process but he backed out of my touch without thinking twice. I tried not to look hurt, I get that he didn’t trust me, why would he trust anyone? But I would be lying if I said it didn’t make me feel a certain way. After we left the museum and began our journey away from the people wanting to lock Bucky up, he stopped talking to me. Put a wall up all around him. After a while I would get some short, rude answers but that was mostly it. He wasn’t all about me tagging along on his trip, but I was dedicated to creating a better life for this man. When he finally realised he wasn’t getting rid of me, he’d let part of his wall down. I was still the one who did the talking between the two of us, but I caught glimpses of a smile now and then whenever I said something stupid. And now we were here, from now on my first mission was to gain his trust. Which I knew was going to be very hard.

‘I’ll do some shopping in the morning, stack up on some stuff.’ I said. Bucky only nodded, he slid his bag off his shoulder and placed it on the kitchen counter. I decided to check out the two other rooms in the house, the bathroom was small, as expected. There was a toilet, a shower that had no shower curtain (brilliant) and a sink. Dammit, not even a bathtub. I closed that door and opened the one next to it. I let out a sigh. ‘Shit.’

‘What is it?’ Bucky questioned from behind me. I chewed on the inside of my cheek as I looked at the room. There were only two pieces of furniture. A closet and a twin bed. When I didn’t respond to Bucky’s question, he dropped what he was doing and walked across the room. ‘What’s wrong?’ He asked again as he stood behind me and looked over my shoulder and into the room. A small ‘oh’ left his mouth. ‘I forgot to ask…’ I admitted quietly. ‘That’s alright, I’ll sleep on the couch. It’s fine.’ Bucky shrugged. I sighed and turned around. ‘No it’s not. It’s my fault I should…’

‘Kate. I’m sleeping on the couch. That’s final.’ Bucky said. I shouldn’t argue with him, I’ve only known him so long and he’s only just found out who he really is. He could flip out at any moment and bash my head in with that metal hand of his. ‘How about we take turns?’ I suggested with a shrug. ‘Okay.’

**__**

To say that our first night at our secret dungeon (that’s what I’m calling it now) was awkward, was a serious understatement. There was an awkward dinner that consisted of sandwiches. An awkward encounter when we both wanted to enter the bathroom to get ready for bed. ‘Oh, eh, you go, it’s fine.’ – ‘No, no, Bucky, you go. I’ll change in the bedroom.’

And now I was awkwardly standing by the window, Bucky’s eyes were fixed on the TV screen, a frown plastered on his handsome face. ‘I eh, think I’m gonna head off to bed…’ I spoke. Bucky turned his head away from the screen. ‘Okay.’ He said before looking back. ‘Well…goodnight?’ I wasn’t supposed to come out as a question, I’m stupid. This is not what I had planned when I decided to run away with him. Well, technically I stalked him and forced him to let me tag along but still. I don’t know what I was expecting, some kind of Romeo and Juliet love story? I don’t know. Bucky tore his gaze of the TV once again. ‘Goodnight.’ I cracked a smile before walking over to the bedroom and closing the door behind me. This was gonna be a long journey… I laid down on the mattress which was about a 0.5 compared to my mattress back at home. Home. Tony. Why did I leave him again? He must be freaking out. Maybe I should’ve left a note or something when I stopped to pick up some clothes… No. He would somehow trace me back here. They’d have Bucky locked up… Will I even be able to help Bucky? Is he fixable? Did I make a mistake? Oh god.

I couldn’t find sleep that night, I missed my home. I missed Tony and Pepper. But I couldn’t leave now, where would I go? If I leave what will become of Bucky? I don’t know how long I’d been staring at the ceiling, memorizing every spot on it. That’s when I heard the screams. I jumped up with wide eyes. I ran towards the window and gazed outside, expecting to see someone getting stabbed. But the streets were empty. Another scream. And that’s when I realized that sound was coming from the living room, from Bucky. I was suddenly very aware of how cold it was in here. My sleeping gear existed of one of Tony’s t-shirts that reach mid-thigh on me because I’m midget. Goosebumps covered my bare legs as I made my way across the room and opened the door. ‘No…please don’t…’ The vulnerability in Bucky’s voice made all my thoughts about leaving float away in an instant. ‘I don’t…please…stop…’

I walked towards the sofa, the TV was still on. Bucky was on the couch, his shirt on the floor next to him. My eyes widened slightly at the sight of his shirtless torso. Holy moley did he look like something that came straight of my fantasies. His broad chest was rising and falling heavily. I frowned when he started muttering words under his breathe, I couldn’t understand them, because it was in Russian. I jumped and squeaked when another scream left his mouth. I quickly crouched down on the floor next to him and shook his shoulder. ‘Bucky? Bucky! Wake up!’ I called. It didn’t work, he just kept twisting and turning in his sleep, muttering things in Russian. If he didn’t wake up he was going to wake the neighbours… I assumed we had neighbours… ‘Bucky!’ I called, a little louder this time, but it didn’t seem to help. I bit my lower lip before deciding to do this the hard way. I got up from my crouching position and jumped onto the couch, placing each of my legs on each side of his waist. ‘Bucky!’ I yelled shaking his shoulders once again. ‘Bucky wake up!’ I yelled. His blue eyes shot open, within a second I was across the room against the wall. I coughed for air as I pushed my body up with my arms. Bucky was looking around the room before his gaze landed on me. His eyes widened and he jumped up from the couch. ‘Oh my god, Kate! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to…I’m sorry.’ He rambled as he hurried towards me and helped me get up to my feet, not keeping his touch on me for longer than necessary. I forced a smile onto my lips. ‘It’s fine, I shouldn’t have…’ I shrugged. ‘Did I hurt you?’ He questioned. I shook my head, still smiling. ‘No, I’m fine.’ I lied. ‘Okay…well, thank you for waking me, I guess…I’m sorry.’

‘You don’t have to apologize Buck… It’s fine. I’m gonna go back to bed, okay?’ I said. Bucky nodded before walking back towards the couch and sitting down. I walked across the room but instead of entering the bedroom and walked into the bathroom. I closed the door before turning towards the mirror and pulling my shirt over my head. I turned around and looked over my shoulder to see the purple mark forming across my shoulder blade.

**_**

‘I’m glad you decided to tag along today.’ I smiled as I pushed the shopping cart forward. We’d been here for about 6 months now, I got some small jobs here and there to get us some money, and I was finally starting to see glimpses of a new Bucky. Or maybe the old Bucky, I couldn’t know because obviously I didn’t know him back then. ‘Yeah well, I’m kind of tired of sitting around that dump all day.’ Bucky replied with half a smile. ‘Hey! I did my best to make it homey!’ I pouted. ‘But you’re right…it’s still a dump.’ I shrugged causing Bucky to chuckle. I lived for moments like this. Once I was fully comfortable around Bucky, even though he was still way behind on that, I allowed myself to let my guard down and act like I normally would at home. Which included doing stupid things and saying stupid things. I noticed Bucky would crack a smile or on a good day even chuckle when I did something like that. It was rare and I treasured every single time it happened. I once even got him to laugh when I walked into the wall. Sometimes I do or say something stuff like that just to see that smile of his. ‘Do we need milk?’ Bucky asked, stopping the cart and so also me. ‘With the amount of cereal you it? Hell yeah.’ I said. Bucky reached out hand and placed two bottles of milk in the cart. ‘Mommy, look, that lady got hurt.’ A high pitched voice spoke from behind me. I turned around to see a little girl and her mother. The mother shot her daughter a stern look before looking at me, she lowered her gaze to where her daughter must’ve pointed earlier and raised her eyebrows. I looked down to see my shirt had ridden up a bit so the bruises along my hips were visible. You could clearly see the fingerprints in the bruises. I looked up at the woman with slightly widened eyes. ‘It’s not what it looks like.’ I chuckled awkwardly. I know what she was probably thinking. I allowed those unholy thoughts to enter my mind for a split second, oh boy. ‘What’s going on?’ Bucky questioned as he appeared next to me. The woman looked at him, back at my bruises and back up at him, she shook her head and muttered something under her breathe before walking away. ‘What happened?’ Bucky asked, still confused. I quickly pulled my shirt down and searched my brains for a lie. Bucky noticed my sudden action and raised one of his eyebrows. He reached out one hand to lift my shirt up again. ‘Kate…’ He gasped looking up at me with wide eyes. ‘Are these from me?’ He asked. I nodded with a sigh. ‘How many of these do you have?’ He asked. I shrugged. ‘It’s nothing, let’s just go.’ I said pushing the cart towards the check out.

Once we were back home I placed the milk in the fridge. Luckily Bucky hadn’t brought of the whole thing from back at the store. ‘I’m gonna go change real quick.’ I said making my way towards the bathroom. I stripped down to my underwear and let out a scream when the door suddenly opened and Bucky walked in. ‘What the hell, Bucky!’ I yelled. He didn’t say anything, he just looked at me. In any other situation I would’ve felt violated if not harassed, but Bucky didn’t care about the fact that I was half naked, at least it didn’t seem like he did. He was looking at the many bruises that covered my body. I know I should’ve learned from the first time I woke him from a nightmare. But I couldn’t handle him suffering like that. ‘I don’t want you to wake me anymore…’ He whispered, not able to look away from what he did. ‘Bucky…I don’t care. I know you can’t help it. I just don’t want you to suffer.’ I sighed. ‘I will not hurt you anymore. You came here to help me, this can’t be how I repay you.’ Bucky replied with a shake of his head. ‘If I have another nightmare, you just throw things at my head but you stay away from me. You don’t know what I could do to you.’ He said and with that he left the room.

But when his screams filled my ears again that night, I jumped up and ran towards the bedroom. I ran inside and practically threw myself on top of Bucky. ‘Bucky! Wake up! It’s just a dream! Wake up!’ I yelled. He gasped for air as he jumped up. Instinct told him I was the closest threat, I let out a grunt as his fingers dug into the flesh of my bare thighs ready to throw me off. But he didn’t. I watched his gaze soften and so did his grip. ‘I thought I told you not to wake me.’ He frowned. ‘You told me to throw things at your head. So I did.’ I shrugged. ‘Me.’

‘Katie…’ He began with a shake of his head. My breathe skipped at the sound of my nickname. He’d never called me Katie before. Not once. It was always Kate. He noticed my sudden reaction, and then himself seemed to realize to pretty compromising position we were in. Yet he didn’t move away, or push me away. For a few minutes we just sat there in silence. Bucky still seemed to be recovering from his dream as his naked chest was still rising and falling heavily. ‘Do you think you’ll be able to go back to sleep?’ I asked him, my voice sounding rather hoarse for some reason. ‘I don’t know.’ He replied quietly. I nodded. ‘Do you mind if I try something?’ I asked him, careful not to push his boundaries. ‘Okay.’ He replied with a slight nod. ‘Okay.’ I breathed and climbed off him so I sat next to him. ‘Sit up.’ I instructed him. He did as I told him to, he sat up straight and I moved over so I was sitting behind him on my knees. Only two months ago Bucky wouldn’t even touch me unless it was necessary. Now what the hell am I doing? ‘What are you doing?’ He asked me quietly. ‘Trying to help you relax, you can always tell me to stop. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable or anything.’ I said. ‘Okay.’

I took a deep breathe before allowing myself to run my fingers through his brown locks. He stirred at the touch at first, causing me to freeze. ‘Bucky?’ I questioned. ‘I’m fine. Keep going.’ He replied. I ran my hand through his hair again, twisting a lock around my finger and releasing it again. I repeated this action with one hand while the other casually ran through his hair, massaging his scalp. I smiled when I literally felt Bucky melt under my touch. I wondered how long it had been since someone took care of him like this. I leaned down and pressed a feather light kiss to the top of Bucky’s head as my hands travelled lower to his shoulders. I couldn’t help but feel a certain way when I felt his muscles under my hands. Bucky let out a sigh as I rubbed all of the fear, stress, tension, whatever it was, out. He leaned back against me, pressing his body to mine as I continued to kneed his shoulders. ‘Is this okay?’ I asked, the last thing I wanted was to push him or make him uncomfortable. ‘Yes…please don’t stop.’ He whispered. My jaw dropped when I heard a strangled moan coming from Bucky’s mouth as my thumbs reached a certain spot across his shoulder blades. The sound stirred something in my stomach, I bit my lip to hold back any sound.

‘Thank you, doll…’ That nickname did erupt a moan from me. I quickly smacked my hand over my mouth. Shit. I carefully looked down, Bucky didn’t seem freaked out. If anything, he was smiling. ‘I still got it.’ He chuckled causing me to gasp and smack his shoulder. He laughed as he turned around to face me. ‘I like it when you laugh.’ I admitted shyly. He smiled and held my hands in his. ‘Thank you, for everything.’ He said. ‘That’s okay.’ I whispered. My heart was pounding at maybe a hundred miles per hour, and got even faster once he started leaning towards me. ‘You can tell me to stop, doll.’

‘Please don’t.’

He smiled and closed the gap between us. He seemed hesitant at first, but soon grew more confident and pulled me closer. ‘You’re quite amazing, you know that?’ He muttered.

One year ago

It was 4 o’clock in the morning and I was fast awake. The sun was far from coming up. I didn’t want to sleep, I wanted to be awake. The weight of Bucky’s arm around me was prove that I wasn’t dreaming. Even though this had been going on for about four months, I still couldn’t believe it. True, it went unbearably slow. We kissed, it had gotten more heated once or twice but he never wanted to take it further. I never asked why, I always knew I was going to need to give him time. I was more than glad to have come this far. True enough as a young woman I did have my needs, and I knew Bucky did too. But the size of this apartment didn’t really allow me to take care of stuff myself. I shouldn’t be thinking about it, the more I thought about it the worse it got. Any healthy young woman would feel the same way living with Bucky. I mean, come on, he is truly a gift from the gods.

A small noise from Bucky caught my attention, he didn’t have the major frequent nightmares anymore, not since I stayed with him at night. Though once in a while a nightmare would occur. But when I heard my name roll of his tongue, I knew it wasn’t a nightmare. His grip around my waist tightened and I felt his hot breath on my neck. I squeezed my eyes shut, keep it together, keep it together… A strangled moan left his mouth and I bit hard on my lower lip trying not to make a sound. ‘Katie…’ He muttered and scooted even closer. My once pounding heart, now stopped. He was hard. Shit. Really not helping Barnes. I buried my face into my pillow as he started moving his hips, looking for some kind of friction. I was slowly losing my mind. Did I mind it? Hell no. Did I want him to pin me against the wall and fuck me relentlessly? Hell yes. But was he also fast asleep? Yes…

Nevertheless he was in need of some help. And help me God so was I. I turned around and moved so I was straddling his waist. I moved my hips along with his, a long needed friction I happily welcomed. I leaned forward. ‘James…wake up.’ I suddenly felt his hands ghost over my bare thighs and when I pulled back I was met with his blue orbs. There was so much lust in his eyes, he could have me undone with one look. ‘Am I dreaming?’

‘Not anymore.’ I smiled. ‘I need you, Katie.’

I moaned loudly. A growl sounded from the back of his throat as he suddenly sat up capturing my lips with his in a heated, passionate kiss. ‘I need you so bad, doll.’

‘Then have me.’ I replied breathlessly. I was down on my back in no time. His lips and hands all over me, driving me insane. ‘As much as I like this shirt on you…I fear it’s gonna have to go…’ He muttered as his hand was already pushing the material upwards. I giggled childishly as I struggled to get it over my head. ‘Now this seems rather unfair…’ I smirked as I was now bare before him wearing nothing but my panties while he was still in his shorts. I used my leg to flip us back over and he looked up at me with surprised eyes. ‘Gotta have them thighs of betrayal.’ I winked before wrapping my hands around the hem of his shorts and pulling them down.

I didn’t mean to ogle him the way I was. But I just had to admire him for a moment as he laid here naked before me. Pure muscle under tanned skin. ‘Doll, this isn’t gonna last long if you’re gonna keep staring at me like that.’ He said and I quickly removed my gaze, blushing. ‘Katie…’ He whispered causing me to look back up at him. The look in his eyes had me ruined. It was almost pleading, as if he was suffering, and I was the only remedy. I gulped and collected all my courage as I got off the bed and stood in front of him. He looked at me confused. I smirked before turning around and letting my hands roam over my own body. I swayed my hips as I slowly removed the last piece of clothing I was wearing. ‘Doll, please…’ Bucky moaned behind me. I couldn’t see his face but I knew he was a mess. I turned around grinning. ‘Tell me what you want, sergeant.’ The new title ruined him completely, barely able to form words. ‘You, Kate, for the love of god please…’

I moved back onto the bed and straddled his hips. A silent moan left my lips as I lowered myself onto him. ‘Fuck, baby.’ He groaned as his fingers dug into the flesh of my thighs. Seeing him like this underneath me, bare and vulnerable, made me realize how much I loved him. I smiled and moved my hips faster, Bucky began to match my trusts, bucking his hips every time I came down on him.

I could see he was holding back, letting me control the pace. ‘Buck….let go. Please…’ I begged. He groaned and flipped us back over before ramming back into me. ‘Oh god!’ I actually screamed and I was certain our neighbours would not be happy with us. My hands clawed at his back as he chased the release we both so desperately craved. ‘I love you, doll. So fucking much.’ He whispered in my ear. I wanted to reply, telling him that I loved him more than anything in this world. But I couldn’t speak as my orgasm washed over me, depriving me of words. Bucky collapsed on top of me, I lazily ran my hand through his hair as we both tried to catch our breathe. ‘I love you too, James. I love you.’ I muttered after a few minutes. He looked up at me and his blue eyes looked surprised. ‘You do?’ He asked. I smiled and nodded. ‘Yes.’ He grinned childishly and sweetly kissed my lips before laying down next to me and pulling me close to him.

**_**

‘I can feel you staring. Staring is rude.’ I muttered, still half asleep. Even though my eyes were closed, I knew Bucky rolled his eyes just then. ‘Are you okay?’ He asked me. ‘Of course I am.’ I replied burying my head deeper into my pillow. Why is he such a morning person. ‘I hurt you again… you’re bruised.’ He whispered as I felt his fingertips ghost over my bare thighs. ‘I don’t mind. These are different.’ I shrugged. ‘They look exactly the same to me.’

I forced myself to open my eyes and look up at him. I sighed and propped my body up with my elbow. ‘They are different. These are the kinky kind of bruises, they’re cool.’ I grinned. Bucky shot me a glare. ‘You know how I feel about hurting you.’ He sighed. I smiled slightly and leaned forward to press my lips to his. ‘It’s okay, Bucky. I’m fine, I’m happy.’ I told him. ‘I just have one question you though.’ I said laying back down. ‘Was that your first time since the 40’s?’

‘That bad ha?’ Bucky chuckled as he also dropped his head on his pillow again. ‘No, you idiot! I was just wondering…’ I shrugged. ‘I don’t think sex was on HYDRA’s list for things they wanted the winter soldier to do.’ Bucky said as he reached his hand out to play with a strand of my hair.

**_**

“Eleven Wakandans were among those killed between a confrontation between the Avengers and a group of mercenaries in Lagos, Nigeria last month.” I sighed as I dragged my gaze away from the screen. My friends were once again on TV. They were going after Rumlow, and they got him, but not without casualties. I faintly recognized the girl who blew up half a building, I saw her once or twice during the whole Ultron thing. I knew her name was Wanda, and that she lost her twin brother in Sokovia. I wanted to go out there and help them…But I couldn’t. I hated myself for leaving them without saying goodbye or anything, but they somehow would’ve figured out where I went and with who. I wouldn’t be surprised if Steve already figured it out, I know for certain he’s looking for Bucky. But he doesn’t want to be found, so I help keep it that way. They could also think I was dead, it was a pretty long fall I must admit.

But nothing broke my heart more than watching the press conference they did not so long after the whole thing in Washington. We had just arrived in Bucharest. Seeing Tony broke my heart into a thousand pieces.

“She’s not dead. I searched that whole river myself. She’s out there. I don’t know whether someone has her, or whether she ran away, but I will find her. I will find my little girl.”

The screams that sounded through the small apartment I was currently standing in ripped my attention from those painful memories. I dropped my coffee mug and run into the small bedroom. I threw myself onto the bed. ‘Bucky! Bucky, hey it’s alright! Bucky? Wake up baby, it’s okay! You’re safe!’ He jumped up, almost knocking me off the bed in the process. His eyes quickly searched the room scanning it for threats like they always did. It was a habit I was not yet able to get out of him. I bit my tongue trying not to show the pain as his fingers dug into the flesh of my arm holding on for dear life. It must have been a really bad nightmare, the last time I got bruised after waking him up was over a year ago. ‘Buck?’ I whispered. His big frightened eyes found mine. ‘You okay?’ I asked him. He shook his head. ‘This one was different…’ He muttered, his eyes scanning the room once more. Normally his nightmares were memories of his time with hydra, memories of how they tortured him to create the perfect obeying killing machine. ‘What was it about?’ I questioned. His hands let go of my arm, I quickly moved them so he wouldn’t see the marks he’d left. He always hated himself for that. Instead his hands went around my back to pull my body closer to his. I crawled onto his lap which seemed to have become my usual spot for whenever he was upset. Whatever made him feel better. I draped my arms around his neck and ran my fingers through his brown locks which I knew he loved. ‘They…were here. They found us. There were so many of them…I heard them come in, then I heard you scream…they killed you. They took me…’

‘Shh, baby, it’s alright. We’re safe. It was just a dream…’ I whispered. ‘What if they do find us?’ He asked pulling back so he could look at me. I could tell the thought genuinely scared him. I smiled and gently cupped his cheek in my hand. ‘Then we’ll run. I won’t let them get you, James.’ I whispered. He smiled slightly and nodded. ‘Come one, I made you breakfast.’ I said as I climbed off the bed and made my way back to the living room and into the kitchen. ‘What happened?’ I heard Bucky question, he was probably watching the TV. ‘This Rumlow guy I don’t know if you remember him from back in Washington… they went after him. They got him, but a butload of other people got hurt in the process. King T-Chaka of Wakanda was not pleased at all. His people were killed on foreign grounds.’ I sighed as I turned around and walked towards him with his plate full of food. ‘Now they want them to sign this thing called the ‘Sokovia accords.’ It means the avengers will no longer be a private organisation. Instead a united nation’s panel will decide when and where they are needed.’ I said. ‘Will they do it?’ Bucky asked me. I shrugged. ‘I know Steve won’t. I don’t know…’ I sighed lowering myself onto the couch. Bucky took a seat next to me. ‘Listen… maybe you should go.’ He said. I turned my head to him confused. ‘I’m not gonna leave you.’ I frowned. ‘You should at least go figure out what’s going on.’ He shrugged. I sighed and shook my head. ‘They’ve done fine without me so far. I honestly don’t think me being there would make any difference. Besides maybe giving Tony a heart attack.’ I chuckled.

I shook my head again. ‘It’s too great a risk. I can’t let them find you.’

**_**

I stepped out of the bathroom with a towel on top of my head to dry my freshly washed hair. I found a note on the door form Bucky saying he went out to get some food. I smiled and made my way into the living room. Something on the TV caught my attention so I raised the volume. “A bomb hidden in a news van destroyed the UN building in Vienna. Over 70 have been injured, at least 12 are dead including Wakanda’s king T-Chaka. Officials have released a video of a suspect who they have identified as James Buchanan Barnes. The Winter Soldier. The infamous hydra agent linked to numerous acts of terrorism and political assassinations. Anyone who has information..”

The rest of the sentence died off as I threw my towel across the room and ran towards the door making my way outside. I know today was the market I always used to go to, so I figured Bucky would be there. It was only a block away. I arrived and looked around the herd of people. I sighed in relief when I noticed Bucky with the paper in his hand. I quickly ran over to him. Of course the cover of the paper was an article about the Winter Soldier bombing the UN building in Vienna. He looked over at me and he knew that I knew. ‘Come one, let’s go get our stuff and get out of here.’ I said grabbing his hand and dragging him with me. ‘Can they find me here?’ He questioned looking around worriedly. ‘Trust me, they’ll find out. We have to move.’ I sighed.

‘You go ahead, I’m gonna go dump my phone.’ I said, Bucky nodded before running up the stairs. I went back outside, dropped my phone on the ground and jumped on it a few times making sure it was dead. I checked my surroundings, but everything seemed clear so I quickly ran inside and up the stairs. ‘Okay Buck. Just like we practised…We move fast and we…Steve? Oh crap.’

Babysitting Imagine

Ravenclaw Reader x Draco

This is my first imagine so I hope it’s okay :)

Imagine: you and Draco help babysit a muggle child and Draco really likes the kid and you see his paternal instincts and it makes you fall in love with him even more.

Draco Malfoy had practically begged me to let him join me when my neighbours asked me to babysit when he came to stay; he was staying with me for a week whilst his parents went on a trip to see their cousins from Australia. Though, I’m not sure why Lucius and Narcissa decided to choose a week whilst Draco was actually home from Hogwarts to go away…

So I eventually agreed to let my boyfriend of almost a year join me. Draco had gained a sudden interest in getting to know more about me when we began dating, even though we had been friends for a good six months before hand, and that required meeting my muggle mother, and everything that came with being a half blood. At first, Draco’s parents weren’t too keen on the idea of Draco and I but they fell in love with me after a few meetings, in fact, since, I have been on several spa dates with Narcissa.

The neighbours had no idea about the wizarding world, being the oblivious muggles they are, they believe I go away to a top boarding school for the most part of the year.

“Just call my number if anything is wrong. But don’t feel this is patronising, y/n, we’ve known you practically your whole life, we trust you. And you too, Draco. Any friend of y/n’s is a friend of ours.” Jonathon, the father, declared as he handed us his number.

“Taxi’s here!” Anna yelled from the doorway. “Bye, y/n, Draco, we’ll be back at 11, no later.” And with that, they rushed out of the door to catch the taxi.

Draco gave me a small smile before tucking a strand of y/h/c hair behind my ear. I closed my eyes at his embrace, glad we could finally have some alone time. My parents watched us like hawks at home, we weren’t even aloud to sleep in the same bed, even though we had already at Hogwarts.

“Y/n, I’m tired.” Ben, the child we’re babysitting coos. I had known Ben his whole life, I usually spend most of my time babysitting him whilst I’m at home.

“Are you, sweetie?” I ask, looking at the huge clock on the mantle. He nods his head and picks up his teddy. It’s only 8pm, I’m surprised that a child of his age gets tired this early. I look to Draco and he nods, understanding his task.

“Come on, Ben. Should we get you to bed?” Draco asks, holding out his hand. Ben smiles and nods as he rubs his eyes, gladly taking Draco’s slender, white hand, so large compared to Ben’s small one. I watch in admiration at Draco’s paternal instinct. He appears to be so good with kids, a part of me aches to see Draco with our own child, yet reluctantly snap out of it. We’re still teenagers, we can’t be dealing with that. Besides - we still have two years left at Hogwarts.

I put Ben’s milk in the microwave and pull out his toothbrush from the holder, yet not finding his toothpaste. Starting to stress, I sift through all of the drawers, unable to acquire the stupid tube of kid’s toothpaste.

“Is everything okay, love?” Draco asks as he notices me stressing.

“I can’t find his toothpaste. Where’s Ben?” I ask, realising Ben’s bedroom is on the next floor.

“He’s in bed, I just came down to ask where his bedtime books are, he wants me to read to him.” Draco replies. “Besides, just use your wand to get the toothpaste.”

I stare at my boyfriend in bewilderment. “I can’t use my wand, Draco, we’re only sixteen and we’re in a muggle home. His bookshelf is in the front room.” I return to my job of searching around for the stupid tube of paste when I eventually find it. I run to the kitchen to pick up the milk and up the stairs to Ben’s room to give him his milk and brush his teeth.

When I get there, Draco and Ben look rather comfy on Ben’s small toddler bed. “Y/n I want Draco to do it.” I look at Draco and see his smirk. I I pout my lips and he raises an eyebrow with a smirk on his face.

“Okay Ben.” I kiss Ben goodnight and peck Draco’s cheek, knowing that he’s missing out. “Night Draco.”

I close the bedroom door and stand outside for a few moments, listening to the light chatter coming from inside. “So Henry went to save the land with his teddy, and get back his golden apple. In fact Ben, I know someone that likes to think he’s a hero. Being a hero isn’t always great, but I know y/n’s friends with him so I don’t go against it. I really like y/n, you know? One day, you’ll know what it’s like to have a girl that you’d do anything for. Even if it means falling in love with a Ravenclaw. Wait, pretend you didn’t hear that last part.” Draco said, in a very child-friendly voice. Ben giggled at the end of Draco’s speech (of which made my heart full with warmth) and I knew Draco was the boy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

It’s weird. Before Draco met me, I used to glance at him in the library and at dinner time. He always looked so broken, he put up a defensive shield and I’ll always be forever grateful be let me in. He used to be so mean to anyone that wasn’t a pure blood, I’m surprised I survived the old Draco’s wrath.

I slink down the stairs and turn the lamps on before searching the TV for a good film. I finally land on ‘10 Things I Hate About You’, one of my all time favourites and lay out a blanket on the sofa. I rearrange the pillows so that they are more comfy and sneak into the cupboard Anna showed me years ago. After a good few years of babysitting Ben I’ve learned all the tricks of indulging myself.

Anna and Jonathon have provided me with my favourite chocolate and a note. 'Save some for Draco, he seems lovely. -A + J’ I smile at the gift and put it on a plate, bringing it out to the living room. I lay down on the blanket, waiting for Draco to return from Ben’s room so we can watch the film and I can finally snuggle up and cuddle Draco.

After a good 15 minutes of waiting, I hear a pair of light footsteps hop down the stairs, and follow into my presence. I smile at Draco, noticing his smile a mile wide. I hold my arms out indicating he needs to lay down with me so I can cuddle him. He follows suit, laying down so that we can both see the television and I rest my head on his chest and wrapping my left leg over his left leg as he wraps his arms around my frame.

I press play on the film. “I’m going to show you a muggle film, it’s really good. I promise. It’s my favourite.” Draco chuckles, and snuggles into me as we watch together. I find it really cute how he had a running commentary of questions and snarky comments about how 'that wouldn’t happen if they had wands’.

But despite everything, I wouldn’t change a thing about Draco. “Y/n?” He asks. “Yeah?” I reply. “Can we babysit Ben more often, please. I really like him, and it means spending alone time with you, love.”

“If that’s what you want. But remember, you only have a week.” I reply, chuckling at his new found adoration for Ben and the muggle world.

“We’ll have to work away at your parents. I really love it here.” Draco murmurs into my ear. “And I really love you, y/n. Even if you are a Ravenclaw.”

I smile at his remark. Even though I may never admit it, to myself and to Draco, I find fatherly Draco super hot. But telling him that would give him an advantage on me, and we can’t have that, can we?

5

Jada Pinkett’s personal letter and pictures to Tupac while he was in prison in 1995. The letter is 4 pages, this is just the 1st page.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/like-/291276639890?roken=cUgayN

Jada wrote:

“I finished talking to you about an hour ago or so! I decided to call mommie because I was so emotional! Not in a bad way, but relieved to hear the life in your voice. I’ve been aching to hear that strong voice! 

I’m not sending the letter about Keisha because it was truly irrelevant now that we’ve talked! I still don’t feel she’s what you need right now, but for real, I’ve got to trust you! If you feel her something must be real! I only hope this situation isn’t making you feel you have to accept anything less than what you deserve only cause it’s been there. You and I will never feel any of our partners are worthy of either of us, so it’s not for me to judge.. really! I want someone to love you to the fullest! They have to love the man you truly are! She should praise you adore you, worship you inside out whether you right or wrong, pretty or ugly! You are the sun and the moon and should be treated accordingly! If it’s true, your heart should love her beyond our existence! That’s how you should be loved and that’s how you should love back! It’s unconditional! You walk now with two eyes open, when she’s by your side, with love you should be able to close one! I’ve always felt safe with you even through all this madness! I’ve never had a problem with closing that one eye when I was by your side! I had to see through yours to get a sense of your”