if sarah j no mas kills tarquin (high lord of summer, sweetie pie galore, canonically black character, angel of the sea) in the next book i will be rioting, i will be looting, i will be protesting and i will be pissed
16. In the bathroom crying at a formal event, over how you saw yourself as ugly. With Lin?
So I'm sort of nervous about posting this one, I had a hard time with it so if you could give me feed back and constructive criticism I’d really appreciate it!
Standing on the red carpet you can’t help looking around and seeing all of these beautiful women surrounding you. You look up and see Pippa in a beautiful dress that higher in all the right places, and her hair is flawless, her makeup accentuating her beauty. Emphasizing her amazing cheekbones. Then there’s Renee standing with her husband. The color look perfect against her skin and her lipstick is amazing. Her hair is pulled back in a sleek ponytail. She’s so gorgeous and it makes your hands sweat being around her. And then Jasmine. Jasmine is wearing a dress that hugs everyone of her curves. Her long curls cascading her back.
You look down yourself, this dress is beautiful and you don’t do it justice. You look fat and gross. You’re make up can’t even hide your marked skin. Before you know it you can’t stop thinking how ugly you are. The tears start filling upon your eyes. You can’t cry here so you slip into the building and rush into the first bathroom you see.
What you don’t see is Lin watching, face concerned as he sees you rush away. He smiles at the interviewer and finishes it as fast as you can, before slipping into the bathroom he figures you ran into.
You’re leaning against the sink trying to dab your eyes with a paper towel. You hear the door open and tense up. You don’t have time to hide in a stall.
“Lin?” You say shocked. “You can’t be in here! it’s the women restroom.”
“Yeah, well I’m gonna leave you alone crying,” he says with finality in his voice and walks towards you. When he gets close he wraps his arm around your shoulder and holds you close. “what’s going on?” He asks voice quiet. You just shake your head, you’re far to embarrassed to tell Lin, the person you have a huge crush on, its pathetic and weak. “(Y/N). tell me. I’m here for you.” He starts rubbing your shoulder, trying to comfort you.
You let out a shaky breath “You wanna know whats wrong? Being here and seeing all of these stunning women just reminds me how ugly I truly am. And it just got a little overwhelming. I just wish i could look half as good as Jasmine or Pippa in this dress. But instead I look like, an awkward kid playing dress up.” You laugh self depicting as another tear falls down your cheek.
“Oh love, no no, don’t talk about yourself that way. You look stunning, you could steal the show out there.”
“You’re just saying that cause I’m in here crying,” you give him disbelieving look.
“I’m really not, you always look beautiful to me. When we’re at reseal and you’re wearing an old t-shirt, hair in a messy bun, and you’re sweaty. It takes my breath away.”
“Lin, I know you’re lying. You’re making it sound like you’re into me, and we both know that’s hella false.”
“It’s not,” Lin whispers.
You look up at him shocked. “What?” He leans down and kisses your nose. “I’ve been into you for a while but I thought you were way out of my league. But Anthony may have told me you confided in him that you just might into me as well.”
“That ass, he promised not to say anything,” You mutter and Lin laughs.
“Hey, it got us here didn’t it? Me being able to tell you how much I love you and how beautiful you are.”
“You really think so?”
“Yeah, (Y/N) I really, really do. Now Can i go show you off? You give him a watery smile and nod your head and you grab his hand, wiping the last of your tears away with your other hand. If Lin thinks you’re beautiful that’s all that matters.
They say life is what happens while you’re making other plans.
But every once in a
while, you have to give life a little nudge to make sure you get to do
the things that really matter, before it’s too late.
Life and death were inextricably bound together, and we wavered between them. But we’d triumphed over death tonight. We were alive, and the world was beautiful. Life was beautiful, and I refused to waste mine.