life as told in an asian drama

I'm so tired - A Black Girls Ode

I’m tired of the stereotypes
Black girls are
“Loud”
“Angry”
“Violent”
“Too dark”
“Ugly”
“Not desirable”
“Inferior”

I’m tired of the hair hate
“Nappy”
“Crunchy”
“Dry”
“Short”
“Afro”
“Natural”
“Braids”
“Weaves”
“Wannabe white”

I’m tired of the skin hate
“#TeamLightSkin”
“#TeamDarkSkin”
Like we’re on opposing teams…

I’m tired of the hate for liking out of race
“Black guys”(Who sometimes don’t even want us)
“White guys”
“Asian guys”
“Hispanic guys”
ANY GUY
And forever wondering if said guy will even like us back

I’m tired of being told I can’t be
“Nerdy”
“Quiet”
“Shy”
“ A geek”
“A nerdy”
“A gamer”
“Good at school”
“A princess”
“Or a Queen”

Or can’t have
“A stable family”
“Good grades”
“Drama free love life”
“Normalcy of any sort”

Or I can’t like
“Comic books”
“Reading”
“Video games”
“Indie music”
“Pop music”
“Rock music”
Anything other than Rap/R&B

I’m tired of the names and things said
“Oreo”
“Sassy”
“Fake”
“Uppity”
“Ghetto”
“White girl in a black girls body”
“I don’t date black girls”
“You’re pretty for a black girl”
“You talk/act white”
“You’re not like the rest”
“I like chocolate”
“You’re my Nubian princess” (Like we are food or a prize to be won)

I’m so tired
…. Of constantly trying to prove myself
….. Always explaining myself
….. Trying to keep my voice down
….. Being too dark
…… Or too light
…… Steering away from stereotypes
….. Being treated like less than
….. “No I don’t have kids” “Nit currently or planning to be pregnant”
….. “No you cannot touch my hair”
….. Yes I live with both my mom and dad
…… “Nubian princess”
….. Keeping my hands to myself in a store so I don’t get accused of stealing
…… Social media and News representation
…… Being a fetish
…… Being wary of cops when I’ve done nothing wrong
…… Knuckling under
…… Black on black hate
……. EVERY THING ELSE

I’m so tired of fighting

My skin color and hair does not, has not, and will not ever represent me.
I am in touch with my black and Haitian roots but none of it defines me unless I say it does.
No matter I do or say people will still see me that way. I’m so tired of people not even seeing who I am but what they perceive me to be solely based on my skin.

I’m so very tired, BUT, too many people (men, women, and people of every race) have fought too long, prayed too hard, and died too often for us to GIVE UP because we’re TIRED! No, this is when we push even harder, because if we’re tired so are they, but now we have one foot in the door ^3^

5

A friend asked me for a book recommendation based on the following criteria:

  • Asian American writer
  • recently published
  • anything on the East Coast
  • and/or vaguely dealing with migration

I thought I’d share the list I came up with in case anyone else is interested because they’re all really great reads! (In no particular order…)

  1. Kinder Than Solitude by Yiyun Li (2013) - Takes place between various locations in the U.S. and Beijing
  2. Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng (2014) - Set in the midwest in the 70s
  3. Family Life by Akhil Sharma (2014) - About a first generation immigrant family set on the East Coast
  4. On Such A Full Sea by Chang-rae Lee (2014) - Dystopian take on migration/race/class
  5. The Lowland by Jhumpa Lahiri (2013) - Family drama jumps back and forth between India and U.S.