life as a real adult person


my friend lau was comparing herself to shiro and accidentally referred to him as “space dab” instead of “space dad”, so i drew our squad as voltron characters. some colour picks were tricky regarding our respective personalities so i tweaked em a bit. 

pictured here is me looking at a beautiful photo of cr1tikal, my friend michael being emo (with added mullet), anna being a colourful cinnamon roll, her best friend andrea being a huge nerd, lau dabbing like her life depends on it, frank, the most adult friend we know, and samia, a kickass nerd who tells us to work.


trauma doesn’t often feel like trauma is ‘supposed’ to feel. it feels like indifferent detachment, watching from outside yourself because nothing can hurt you there. it feels normal, just how people interact, so why are you making a big deal about it?  it feels like a joke – just how kids play, just how adults tease, just how some relationships work.

you wake from nightmares five years later and still wonder if you made it all up.

trauma can look like bad behaviour. like the stubborn refusal to get better, to stop self-destructing. trauma is putting yourself in harm’s way because you don’t really mean it, or because it’s funny, or because you just want to feel something, or because you just want to stop feeling. it’s wanting to destroy and reassemble yourself into another person entirely, so your real life can begin. because this isn’t real. because really bad things don’t happen to people like you.

trauma is the constant feeling of being an impostor. it’s the drive to survive twinned with the impulse to make yourself more sick in more ways. to hurt yourself to prove how bad you feel, or to punish yourself for exaggerating. you want people to believe what you’ve been through, to tell you your feelings are real, that your memories really happened. but when people do take you seriously, you play it off as a joke, apologize for bringing the mood down.

you go on and on about how it wasn’t that bad. you seek permission to still love the ones who hurt you, because it’s the people closest to us who can hurt us most deeply.

you can feel like the people who hurt you are the only ones who really knew you. in low self esteem, you can mistake cruelty for honesty.

there will always be people who have been through worse. that doesn’t make what happened to you okay.

there will always be people who don’t believe you. that doesn’t mean you are lying.

at some point, you have to take yourself seriously. you have to make a life you can stand to live. it’s the only way to survive.

How to Sadden the GM

So, this is the same group as “When Crits Don’t Matter”, only with some different characters due to several deaths as well as one person dropping out due to real life issues. For context, we are at the final boss of the entire campaign, and it happens to be a Young Adult Acid Dragon. Our group, at this point, consists of a Vanaran Druid (me, former Sorceress) with an animal companion of a large Ape (we were jokingly called Diddy Kong and Donkey Kong), a Gnome Bard, a Human Fighter (former Night Blade), an Oread Monk, and a Human Kinetisist (former Inquisitor who a few sessions before had made a Paladin that got OHKed by an Alchemist miniboss during the last session). We were all walking along, getting ready before the final encounter, and when we do end up getting into the Dragon’s lair…this exchange happens…

Dragon: You mortal fools! Who dares enter the lair of Aeteperax?!

Most of Party half-heartedly introduces themselves, except the Figther.

Fighter: I do not give my name to the dead.

Before the GM can even have the dragon react, the fighter rolls to bullrush/charge the Dragon and gets a double 20. House rules are that double 20s are max damage.

While this is going on, the rest of the party is preparing their own stuff and scattering to avoid AOE attacks from the dragon.


We all rolled for initiative and all of us rolled fairly high.

Party then proceeds to smack the Dragon down to size, with the dragon not even getting off one attack as the only attack roll he managed to do missed entirely. At this point, the DM is both furious and depressed, and the party is cracking up.

DM: You guys don’t understand! I worked this boss up for weeks! This was supposed to be a challenging fight! But no, (Fighter) just ran in no-holds-barred and took out almost half the boss’s health, then (druid) summoned a Gravity Elemental and sent it running head first at the boss, and then (bard) kept using command and the boss kept failing their will saves!

Needless to say, the GM still hates this party, but we have another campaign coming up soon, so look forward for more shenanigans.

My friends are over here like, “Yeah, I just bought furniture for the guest bedroom and a matching toilet cover” and I’m over here like, “I just bought gummy bears and wine for the apartment I inhabit by myself, and I don’t even have to share the gummy bears. Who’s the real winner here?” 😂

What I find really interesting, and also frustrating, about the Harry Potter fandom is that there is a HUGE portion of fans that will talk at length about how wonderful Harry Potter as a story is. How it changed their life. How it gave them hope and enjoyment and shaped who they are as a person. They will talk about it’s cultural significance, how it has such great massages for kids that has shaped them into better adults, how it influenced real life friendships and relationships and experiences.

But the moment you want to discuss a weak point in the story, a flaw in its execution of thematic elements or inconsistencies in the world building:

- It’s just fiction!

-It’s just a story!

-OMG, it’s for little kids, why does this matter? 

-Why do you hate fun?

To all the young people or anyone questioning if they’re bi:

I’ve been bisexual since I was 9 years old, when I hit puberty and my attraction to other people became relevant. I didn’t understand it until years later, but that basically means I’ve been bisexual my whole life.

Being bisexual is not an Adult Thing, just like being gay is not and being straight is not. The only reasons we think it is is because 1) bi and gay relationships are way overly treated as taboo, 2) bi-erasure is so real I didn’t realize it was even an option until I was an adult, and 3) ‘bisexual’ is treated like a curse word. It’s not.

So what I’m trying to say is no matter your age, your attraction is legitimate and wonderful and pure. It’s fine to be bi. Personally, I love it.

No how about fuck you. I’m sick of these condescending bullshit “jokes”. I’m sick of seeing the married men I know in real life get treated like fucking children by wives who actually think like this. It’s destructive in reality full grown adult men don’t take kindly to someone treating them like children, nevermind by the one person who should be on your side. When this attitude seeps into a marriage it’s like poisoning the ground water eventually everyone gets sick including any kids; who now have parents who fight all the time and have no real loving relationship anymore because they have no respect for each other. Then both parents end up taking their frustrations out on the kids. Imagine going to work all day and dealing with a tough job and a shitty boss then coming home to a place where nobody has any respect for you and treats you like a child. You either die inside or you lash out or both. I see it in so many marriages inside and outside my family and then people wonder why so many are getting divorced. This is why mgtow is a thing. Have some fucking respect.

I think things get extra emotional when you consider the fact… ok, when I consider my fact that, in 2008? I was 16. Since I was a 16 year old little high schooler, Barack Obama has been my president. For 8 years, my young adult life has been forging itself while having him as my nation’s ultimate role model. And while I obviously feel blessed to have had that, having to now deal with not only saying goodbye, but doing so as I enter into the beginnings of real adulthood, while also knowing what’s ahead after his time in office ends… idk, the combination of it all just seems to ache extra hard. 

Three gems and a baby: Analysis (long post)

(yay, it’s here! in this post, i’ll mostly be talking about key points that i thought stood out the most and may give us hints to the over all plot and personalities of the gems and other characters)

first note- “ don’t forget out… arrangement”  “that’s what you get for raising me to love music” 

we find out, that steven does in fact: demand a song at every flashback/story from his father. 10/10 . I love the lil inside jokes of steven universe

through the song, we hear that greg was probably not educated in how to raise a child at all, just like most adults in real life. and if there’s anything i love about steven universe, it’s how realistic they are. greg loves steven but that doesn’t make his a perfect parent, if there even is one. and i really like that. also, linked to this-

how greg looks at vidalia, yellow-tail and sour-cream. it looks as tho he is reminded of rose and how he would have liked to raise steven with her. and of course, this episode is very much about the transition of everything being about rose, to being about steven, as you will notice, most, if not, all of the flashbacks are about rose or have a lot on rose in them. at this point in time, is where that changes and is more about steven, with occasional moments of the gems and greg missing rose and crying and probably singing about it. 

what’s up with steven and rose’s gem?? does it actually need to breathe? it could make sense if it did, 14 year old steven wears a shirt and jeans, the shirt would still be breathable but the lil baby jumpsuit onsie thing he has on, not so much. 

“lil rose”. ouch. the feels. 

LOOK AT PEARL. M Y  L O V E  P L E A S E. (funfact, i love pearl, she is my fav and i have never doubted her once) 

aside from jokes- notice that amethyst seems to be dealing with this ok, pearl… definitely not so much, from her prospective, rose is basically dead. and garnet is garnet. she is now the leader of the crystal gems pretty much and has to keep calm and rational. she has to be strong and keep everyone together.

her maturity to the situation shown when explaining that steven is NOT just a little rose, he is just steven the baby with rose’s gem. or at least that’s basically what she said, i imagine from here, they didn’t see steven as a friend or person, just as rose. or maybe like, an illiterate and uneducated version of rose? which is shown in their gifts. but not garnet’s. she has future vision. she doesn’t count here.

again. pearl. people are gonna be calling her salty again for this. but, every time i see her face like this, i just know how much it must hurt for her.

i’d like to prove my point on how the gems had thought of steven being a gem. amethyst thought that steven could just shape shift into them. a gem thing. the gems don’t have understanding of how babies work at all, they’re gems, and have never been babies, they just weren’t then were. which is expressed later in the episode. so they think of steven like an uneducated gem that has just been born, he can read, think and do as he pleases with his own rational understanding. BUT NO. HE CAN’T HE HUMAN. AND GEM. 

another side note, “it’s just a box, made to look like it was carefully wrapped” 14 years later - connie: “ It’s just a box made to look like I spent a lot of time wrapping it. “ again with the inside jokes

from here, the gems think that steven really is rose. and proceed to kidnap him, after a stranger things style communication from pearl 

 “steven, is a fusion” (called it)

1- change in styles 2- pearl driving 3- “he’ll thank us later” did they think that they could get steven and rose apart?? apparently so, since they try to get steven to ‘unfuse’ later.

now, it becomes very clear after this what they gems thing about steven. they all think he is a gem. amethyst thinks it’s shape shifting (also, she was a toilet for almost a month apparently.)

, garnet thinks it’s fusion

and btw, what happens with steven here, is exactly how a baby would react. since at tthis age, babies only know what is in front of them, for example, if you hind under a blanket, even tho it’s obvious you’re still there, to a baby, it’s like you’re not there at all. so another realistic scene from the show. i love it so much. also garnet’s small voice crack when she says “ i don’t understand”

and finally, pearl. who thinks rose is just stuck with a baby around her gem. not seeing steven as part of her at all. or rose as part of him. she is just stuck in him.

and honestly, this is so sad. all she wants is the one she loves back. but she can’t do it. she knows it would be selfish to end what rose wanted so much. 

“everything should grow and everything should change. and isn’t it so wonderful that it comes so naturally for humans.. but it’s not natural for us. it’s not natural for me…” 

that right there. almost got me in tears. 

then this scene. this is where everything changes. it really is all about steven now, it may be hard for them, the gems especially. but they just made a change. accepting that this is rose and gregs child and that he is what is left now. 

another side note- 

buck and jenny as kids

now back to sad stuff-

“just a bunch of small ideas that never came together.”

which is basically everything i explained before. with what the gems thought steven was and how they should deal with it. 

and let’s just appreciate this lil family moment. all steven has all together.

and then steven telling everyone about how wrong they were and pearl saying “well, that was a really long time ago”

yeah, no. she has a different sense of time. 14 years is next to nothing to a gem. let’s be honest. this is just pearl trying to cover for herself and the others by extent. only to hear from steven, that he meant they were wrong about changing.

we see pearl giving amethyst the tea bag from greg’s tea, which is something she wouldn’t have done in season one for sure. 

pearl giving greg the tea in a caring manner, rather than the usual cold way she does. (i know this is a bad inbetween like screenshot. it’s hard to get good ones all the time, ok??)

and… i’d like to ask. is anyone gonna talk about how the gems threw a jungle gym at steven’s baby sitter?

RIP Carrie Fisher

When I was little I used to watch star wars and Leia was always my favorite character. Those iconic buns and her saying “Help me Obi Wan Kenobi…” it is one of memories from the movies that you never forget. As a child I knew you like Leia, but as an adult you were such a huge inspiration to me.  Her strength and honesty inspired me and will continue to do so in the future. Even though I never met her in real life I loved her deeply. I loved her like she was my friend or family… The little me is grieving for the loss of a person that brought to life a princess, but me now is sobbing at a loss of such a strong and powerful woman. Carrie will always be in my heart. I love you.   

causuallychaotic  asked:

2 with nurseydex or pynch

por que no los dos?

I’ll write the pynch one soon!

Nurseydex 02: “I think I’m in love with you and that scares the hell out of me.”

Keep reading

if you are a literal actual adult, and your hobby is mocking/harassing minors on tumblr who are trying to figure themselves out (via self diagnosis! or discovering that they’re trans and/or nonbinary! or using neopronouns! …all of which literal actual adults also do!)… you are a bad person. i’m sorry i don’t make the rules, you’re just a bad person.

adults who mock or harass minors on the internet are never not creepy. a minor saying “i think i’m autistic” or “i’m agender” or “pronouns: ze/zim” on tumblr literally does not affect your life at all, you fucking creep.

(this post is devoted to that gross anti sj parent who made a video complaining about young people listing themselves as autistic on tumblr, calling them self-diagnosed “tumblrinas” while pointing to her own “real” autistic child.)

Mucking out--Adulting Lesson #56

One of the real life issues I’ve been dealing with these past six months is the need to help my in-laws to clean out their house of twenty-five years and to downsize into a smaller home with less maintenance.

Fifteen years ago, they simply quit putting things away, quit organizing the pantry, quit filing the papers, and quit sorting through the old stuff.  It was also the same time that they lost a good chunk of their retirement in the stock market, not enough to make them broke, by any means–trust me, they still have a good income–but they don’t get to live the retirement of luxury they envisioned.

But they were so disappointed, they stopped.  They stopped trusting each other.  They stopped talking. They stopped living any kind of life.  

Keep reading

Personal Update: 01/11/2017

So I a have job interview tomorrow and I’m not gonna lie I’m kinda nervous about it. I’ve been with my current job for over 2 years now and have not done an interview since then. 

But I need a real life adult job and this company and job is all kinda awesome. The company is a non-profit and I’ll interview for a Social Media Coordinator position. A couple years ago I didn’t even know you can make a living doing this. It’s crazy that now someone wants to interview me for this position. 

I know it’s weird I’m sharing this here but before this blog turned all Jays it was a personal blog and I just needed somewhere to vent for a bit. Anyways, that’s what’s up with me right now. If you guys can pray for me to whoever God(s) you believe in or alternately send some good juju my way that would be so awesome! 

i always go on about how the simpsons has influenced my life but for like fifteen years my brother and i have been snacking on potato chip sandwiches thanks to this one line in homer vs apu where homer says “but then i get a chipwich” which we thought was a thing he made up but turns out a chipwich is a type of ice cream in america and not a chip sandwich

astrohen  asked:

Question, and I ask this out of curiosity not hate, what is the appeal of shipping Credence and Graves? I simply don't understand why it's shipped, when they have such a blatant age difference, and Graves was actually just Grindlewald the whole movie. We don't even know who or what Graves is actually like. I'm not angry, it just kinda seems like you are just shipping Credence and Grindlewald!

Yes there’s an age difference, but Credence is an adult, so there’s not a legal issue. So that leaves it up to preference, and a lot of people really like a big age difference between two (or more) consenting adults. :3

Also, Graves did actually exist. Sure it was Grindelwald the whole /movie/, but there’s a ton of points that prove Percival was a real person in the “Potterverse” that Grindelwald stole the life and appearance of.
Credence is such that there’s no way he would’ve so easily trusted someone who came onto the scene mere weeks before the movie takes place - he and the real Graves would have had to already have an establish acquaintanceship before.

A lot is conjecture and fan theory, sure, but that’s part of the fun of shipping. :3 Yes I heavily ship Real Graves and Credence. (not Grindelwald. Gross.)

I also ship Credence x Newt, Credence x Graves x Newt, and Graves x Newt. All with Real Graves, mind you. ;)

I hope that helps explain! I’m sorry I’m not very eloquent over text - I do better face to face. Lol

whimsicalbibliophile  asked:

6, 13, 20 of the bookish asks? Thank you!

6. Public library or personal library? Well, both, but PUBLIC LIBRARY. I’ve been around or below the poverty line for most of my adult life (my various forms of privilege and cachet of intellectual labor notwithstanding,) and public libraries are the best. They’ve given me language lessons, workspaces, community integration… and of course lots and lots of books. Also, browsing the shelves of a public library gives the possibility of serendipitous discovery, which is always delightful.

13: What character would be your best friend in real life? Probably Barbara Pym’s Mildred Lathbury. I hang out with earnest women and quiet nerds.

20: A character you like but you really, really shouldn’t. Edward Fairfax Rochester. I’m shaking my head at myself even as I type this. I adore Jane, and for her sake I want to believe that a man with so many social and moral sins (and such arrogance in committing most of them!) can repent and reform in a meaningful way. They’re presented as partners in a way that was (and, I’d argue, still is) rare, and I love that, and I want his recognition of her worth, and their sparky, incessant flirtation, as well as their deep, soul-stirring love (to say nothing of their shared nerd-love for weird moths,) to be enough. I want him to be good enough for her. I’ve read Jean Rhys; I’ve read feminist essays on Jane Eyre; I love them; but I also just want Jane and her Rochester to be happy.

Bookish asks here!