life afloat

8 things to give up

1. Self rejection
2. Negative self talk
3. Criticizing others
4. Being a people pleaser
5. Fear of failure
6. Holding onto grudges
7. Procrastination
8. Expecting perfection

I’m gonna cry cause of how much I love life is strange

I don’t think I’ve loved something this much before

I love this game

His rock

Originally posted by iwriteaboutdean

Summary: Dean x Reader: Dean finds comfort in the reader’s arms after a hard day.

Word Count: 1962

Triggers: Not really, a bit of fluffy angst, or flangst if you will.

Y/N = Your name 

Note: I’m actually pretty proud of this one so I hope you like it! Please let me know what you think!!

Dean was tired, not only physically, but mentally. You could see it easily in those green eyes whose light was a little duller than normal. Somehow you could always tell which days it was harder for the hunter to keep up appearances. He called it your special little gift, you just called it love.

On days like that one you knew he needed to just be held, be loved, feel safe. Out there, in the real world, he had to stay the soldier, the hunter, the big brother. But in the room he shared with you, he was just a broken man. And he needed your help to pick up the pieces.

Dean was exhausted, and so you’d made up some lame excuse to return to your room earlier than normal to Sammy and pulled Dean along. Seeing the signs of exhaustion easily on his face the minute you shut the bedroom door behind him. His smile falling away and the armour he’d so carefully crafted through jokes and physical strength crashing to the floor the minute you were alone.

Moving to the bed you sat up with your back against the wall and stretched your arms out. An open invitation for him to hide in your embrace and just let go of all his worries for the night. No words were spoken as he climbed onto the bed and into your arms. Staying low, he buried his head in the crook of your neck, arms around your waist as if you were the life raft keeping him afloat in stormy weather.

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Knuckles : Boxer!Ashton (Part 8)

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight| Part Nine

- Knuckles Playlist


Finals week is undoubtedly one of the worst parts about being a college student. Stress levels are at an all time high as young adults try to balance studying for exams and finishing papers they’ve procrastinated on with other responsibilities such as work, getting enough sleep, and keeping their social life decently afloat. It’s a time that’s scary, challenging, and nearly impossible to escape without seriously considering the option to drop out, but what’s just as bad–if not sometimes worse–is the week that follows finals week, when professors put their red pens down after scoring their last student’s test, and begin plugging in new percentages to overall grades.

To those who are already more than passing their classes or feel confident in their study techniques, this week might not faze them at all. They don’t have to endure the dreadful anticipation that comes with the process of logging into their accounts and waiting impatiently for page after page to load until they’re met with either good or bad news; they know that they’ll be fine, that their GPA won’t suffer. You were actually one of those students back when you were easily making straight As with your knack for school and impressive self discipline, but you know all too well that this last semester has gone quite differently than any before.

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anonymous asked:

Hey, I'm the same anon who requested the pregnancy headcannons. I recently found out that I have a miscarriage, and my husband hasn't been here for me. Do you think you could do headcannons related to this? I really need the boys' support right now.


Hey there, I’m so sorry to hear about your loss and I can’t understand what you are going through but I can at least write this. Unfortunately I don’t know much about the subject but I did some reading. If you need to talk I can at least listen (well read) because everyone deserves someone to talk to during such sadness. This article and comments were very touching and these other people have shared their own stories, if you would like to read. x x x

Let me know if you want this taken down. I can just send it to you privately. I really do hope that you can find your happiness again, I hope my writing conveys that too (even if it’s not the best).

WARNING: ANGST

Yoosung

  • When you found out in the doctor’s office you didn’t understand what you were being told
  • Each word you knew but put together in that sentence it was gibberish
  • “I’m so sorry…” the nurse apologized again.
  • You felt sick and you wanted to go home immediately.
  • When you arrived home you didn’t remember getting into the car, starting it, or the drive it took to get here.
  • What had you been thinking about? It was all a blank.
  • Yoosung.
  • Taking the phone out of your pocket you stared at the screen. You had to call him.
  • “No!” you threw the phone suddenly.
  • Oh god, oh god… you would have to tell him.
  • Your hands grabbed at your hair.
  • He had wanted this so badly, maybe more than you.
  • You start to doubt it all and the tears started to roll down your face. Was that why-
  • “Sweetheart? Are you home?”
  • No, no, no, no, you chanted. You weren’t ready but your legs wouldn’t move.
  • You wanted to hide, to run away.
  • He came around the corner and saw you. His sunny expression faded as he saw the anguish on your face.
  • He raced across the living room to you. “What’s wrong?”
  • The tears came faster and your throat closed up making it hard to breathe.
  • So he hugged you to him in an attempt to calm you down.
  • “Tell me what’s wrong…” he rubbed your back.
  • “P-please…I can’t…”
  • “It’s ok, I’m here. You can tell me,” he persisted.
  • You tried to push away put he held you firmly to him. “Let go!”
  • “No. Please, just take some deep breaths.”
  • “D-Did…” you could hear him swallow, “did something happen at the doctor appointment.”
  • “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, argh!” You snapped. “It’s my, my, fault!” You balled up his shirt in your hands. “I-I didn’t want, ah, this, e-enough!”
  • He hugged you tighter and you could feel your shoulder becoming wet with tears.
  • “It’s not your fault,” he spoke. “Please, sweetheart, it’s not I promise.”
  • Why, why was he so kind? Yell at me! You wanted to scream.
  • You wouldn’t be able to take his hatred down the road if he didn’t start now.
  • “I’m sorry, I should have…there was more I could have done.”
  • You clung to him. “Stop it… There’s something wrong with me, my body…”
  • “I don’t believe you.”
  • “It’s true! I wasn’t excited enough! I skipped taking those vitamins and I didn’t eat as healthy as I could have. I don’t deserve to have a child and that’s why-“
  • “Listen to me!” he tugged you away from him to look you in the eye. “Hate me! Blame it on me! If you hate yourself like this…I don’t want you to feel so alone that you…”
  • His voice hitched. “That you…”
  • It hit you all at once what he meant. He was so afraid that you would end your life from grief.
  • “Don’t leave me,” you hear him whisper. “Please…I can’t…I’ll do better… If you live only to hate me I can take it, I swear.”
  • The same words that you wanted to say. “No Yoosung, I’m not going anywhere, ok? So don’t leave me either.”
  • You stayed there, sticking to each other, going through the first waves of grief together.

Zen

  • When you found out you cried and cried for what felt like years
  • No more tears would come out and your eyes stung and felt puffy
  • You came home to Zen and knew you had to tell him right away, he deserved to know as much as you did
  • You sat next to him on the couch and couldn’t look him in the eye
  • This one time there was no “babe” or jokes from him.
  • “I…” you took a deep breath. “I lost the baby.”
  • It came crashing down again as the words left your mouth
  • Dry sobbing ensued as you hugged yourself.
  • You felt a hand on your shoulder but jerked away without knowing why and that made you cry harder
  • Knowing that Zen probably had that hurt expression on his face, the pain he must be feeling
  • He had been bragging about how, “good looking our son will be.”
  • But something deep within you didn’t want to be touched
  • For some days you avoided him. He would try his best to make conversation and brought you flowers
  • All you could do was gaze out a window or in some random space in the house and sort of nod
  • The gap between you only seemed to grow
  • You couldn’t even bare to lay next to him in bed some nights. It was either from fear of contact or the dreams
  • Tonight it was the dreams as your eyes flew open and you gasped for air.
  • They weren’t nightmares. You dreamed of holding a baby, your baby, and walking around the house singing to him.
  • Slowly you peeled the covers off and swung your legs to hang off the bed. You would go sit outside for a while where you could cry without waking Zen and then fall asleep like you usually did.
  • A hand wrapped around your wrist and you froze
  • Looking back Zen was laying on his side with his back to you but still holding on to your wrist.
  • “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”
  • There was silence until he finally took a deep breath to speak.
  • “Was it another nightmare?”
  • Ah, so he had known about them. You have avoided saying anything.
  • “Is there anything I can do?”
  • “They just…happen…”
  • Some part of you still wanted to curl up next to him and have him hold you but the damage felt like it was done. You didn’t know how to fix it. How to close the gap.
  • “This…” his voice was hoarse. “This is the first time I’ve been able to touch you without you flinching…”
  • You closed your eyes tight and tried to breathe normally.
  • “I…” his voice became more strained. “I don’t want to hurt you anymore. I thought that if I gave you space and tried to act normal things would get better but…they’ve only gotten worse.”
  • You knew this already. You knew but the pain felt fresh.
  • “I want to stay, I want to be with you but…”
  • Your breath hitched. But? Was this it? Had you two been driven apart past repair?
  • “If you hate me, I understand. If you tell me to leave, no matter how much I love you, I’ll do it.”
  • Your hiccupping was impossible to quiet in a room full of silence. Is that what you wanted? To be completely alone?
  • “Just…” you could hear him crying, “tell me what to do.”
  • How could you do that when you didn’t even know what to do or how to act?
  • His hand loosened and as it started to retract you panicked and grabbed his wrist.
  • The words didn’t come out immediately but you held on like it was the only life saver keeping you afloat at sea.
  • “I-I don’t know,” you whispered. “I don’t know how to act, I don’t ever feel normal. I don’t know why I flinch. But, I don’t hate you. I thought you hated me. I don’t want you to leave because…I still love you so much.”
  • He didn’t jump out of bed to hug you or drag you against his chest and you were relieved because you were afraid of hurting him again.
  • Instead you felt his hand move to hold yours. You turned around and could see him staring at you. Had his eyes always been that bright or was it tears making them so reflective.
  • For the first time you were able to look your husband in the face and just that seemed to make him smile.
  • “Thank you,” he whispered.

Jumin

  • Jumin had joined you to your doctor’s appointment like he insisted on every time.
  • Afterwards he would take you to lunch and try to insist on going somewhere more expensive
  • The nurse called you back and you laid down for the checkup.
  • In the middle of the exam the nurse stopped, “Excuse me for a moment,” and left.
  • You look at Jumin in confusion but shrugged it off.
  • She came back a moment later with a doctor in tow who greeted them and continued the checkup.
  • Finnaly he stopped and you could feel something was off.
  • “How’s the baby?” you ask.
  • “I’m sorry Mrs. Han. There’s no heartbeat. I’m sorry for your loss. This happens sometimes…”
  • The doctor kept speaking but you tuned it out. The life inside of you…was no longer growing?
  • You could hear Jumin’s voice, he was…asking for another test to be run. A second opinion? Should you rely on that hope?
  • Jumin asked about the rest of your health and the doctor said you were healthy.
  • You were at another doctor’s office in an hour where you received the same news and with no hope left you cried.
  • You cried leaving the doctors, the drive home, when you got home. All the while Jumin held you without saying a word.
  • Not a word that day and hardly a word about it afterwards. You tried to get things back to normal but he seemed so resigned even though he was always there.
  • If you started crying he was there to hold you, if you needed something it was on its way, but he felt so cold.
  • You tried to get him to talk to you but he only asked about how you felt.
  • Your sadness turned bitter. Didn’t he feel a thing? The baby was part of you both.
  • I package was delivered one day and when you opened it, there were some set of baby clothes and maternity clothes you had ordered.
  • You smiled fondly at the cute patterns of little ducks and unisex colors.
  • Jumin walked in and stopped just for a moment to look at what you were holding before continuing on to the kitchen.
  • “I can’t believe someone thought of putting elastic in front of shorts to make “pregnancy shorts”,” you commented.
  • “It’s a large market these days.”
  • You frowned at his response and set the clothes down back in the box. You picked it up and brought it to the nursery.
  • You often went inside at sat in the rocking chair just wondering about the “if’s”.
  • When you opened the door you froze in the door. Walking back to the kitchen you set the box down with a thud.
  • “Jumin, where’s all the nursery stuff?”
  • “I had it returned,” he responded monotone.
  • “You…you what?”
  • “I had the items returned. I didn’t want it to be painful for you to walk in there.”
  • “Painful for me? It’s going to be painful no matter! Am I the only one feeling the pain?” you shouted.
  • He narrowed his eyes and for the first time you saw some sort hurt there.
  • “You think I’m not in pain?” he asked incredulously.
  • “All you do is ask me about my feelings. Not once have you expressed your own!”
  • “I’m trying to protect you-“
  • You threw maternity clothes at him. The pair of shorts hit him in the chest and h caught the other pieces of clothing one by one.
  • “Oh please! Don’t even!” you yelled. “Did you care? Just tell me whether you actually felt anything at all-“
  • Yes God damn it!” he roared and threw the clothes on the ground. His fists clenched at his sides he spoke, “I felt so many things but I couldn’t for the life of me understand on any level how you felt. I read and I researched but I couldn’t comprehend.”
  • His hand covered his face. “The person I loved so much in so much pain and I can’t do anything to fix it. I’ve never felt so useless.”
  • The tears streaked down your face as you closed the distance to wrap your arms around him.
  • “I didn’t need your complete understanding you idiot. I just needed to know that I wasn’t alone. I needed your emotional support not just to be taken care of like a pet.”
  • “You…felt alone?” he asked.
  • “I was the only one talking about how I felt or what had happened. It felt like I was the only person who acknowledged the baby ever existed…”
  • He wrapped his arms around you.
  • “I don’t want to just forget Jumin, even if it’s painful, I don’t want to act like this baby never existed.”
  • “Me neither,” he kissed your hair. “I’m sorry. I don’t know if I can express it as easily as you but I’ll try.”
  • You nodded. “I love you. I’m sorry for saying what I did. I know you care.”
  • “I love you more than I’ll ever be able to express,” he kissed you on the forehead.
  • A fluffy white body brushed against both your legs. “Meow!
  • You bent down to grab her. “We love you too Elizabeth.” You kissed her on the forehead as Jumin petted her.

Saeyoung

  • “Mimi…stop it…” you whined as a paw pushed against your face.
  • “Meow.”
  • You groaned at how persistent she was being with you tonight.
  • When you opened your eyes to see two green feline eyes staring down at you it was too late to fall back asleep.
  • “What is it?” you asked moving your legs.
  • Something wet brushed your skin.
  • “Did you throw up?” you asked in disgust.
  • Moving the sheets away it was hard to see so you moved off the bed. Turning on the bedside light you could immediately see red. It took only moments for you to piece it together and the dread washed over you as you could see the blood on your thighs.
  • You shook Saeyoung. “Saeyoung!”
  • He shot up and grabbed you by the shoulders and when you told him you were bleeding his eyes had never looked so scared.
  • You two jumped into a car and the entire way to the hospital you could hear him repeatedly pleading.
  • “Please God, please be ok. Don’t do this…”
  • After they ran the tests you awaited for the results with Saeyoung at your side holding your hand.
  • The nurse entered and somehow you knew, the words hadn’t left her mouth but you knew the results.
  • The pain and anguish still came as you tried to understand what had happened. Saeyoung stood there and said, “No. Run it again.”
  • “Sir-“ the nurse tried to speak.
  • “Run. It. Again.” He repeated.
  • He sat down once the nurse had left but never let go of your hand. No words were exchanged and when a different nurse came back sometime later, she started with an apology.
  • There was no hope left. They told you that they would need to keep you the rest of the night to make sure you were ok.
  • Hours passed but neither of you slept nor spoke. Your tears had been flooding over and had since dried out.
  • At some point you couldn’t take it. “Sae-“
  • “Are you hungry? He asked and stood up. “I’ll go see if they have anything.”
  • Without looking at you he walked out of the room.
  • Alone, you closed your eyes and not knowing how much time had passed you fell asleep from exhaustion.

  • You couldn’t hear it or see him but once he walked out of the room with that awful excuse he was in tears.
  • His anger was out of control.
  • How could this happen? Was he truly cursed to hurt everyone he loved so much?
  • “Damn it!” He kicked a waiting room chaired and it make a crack as it fell over. His fist hit the wall and the pain in his hand was nothing compared to seeing he look on your face.
  • When that nurse had come in, the light in your eyes had left like you had lost all hope. You had been so happy, joking about twins or what if you guys painted the room with cats.
  • He could so clearly see your smile in his head but now you were in a hospital bed wearing a tear soaked hospital gown.
  • His back hit the wall and he slid down the wall to rest his arms on his knees.
  • He bargained with whoever, that if by some miracle this child could be alive that he would gladly die. But he seems he was destined to live through this heart break and in the worst punishment yet; watch his wife suffer.

  • You were woken up to the morning sun and Saeyoung was still gone. You sat up and heard his voice outside the hallway.
  • He poked his head in and excused himself from whoever he was speaking with.
  • He walked in and gave a small smile, “Good morning.”
  • You tried to smile back. “Morning.”
  • “I got all the paperwork done so we can head home if you want?”
  • You nodded. “Yes please.”
  • The idea was more appealing than you realized. When you both arrived you were greeted by a black short haired cat. She stretched her front legs up to rest against your leg, signaling to be picked up.
  • You did as beckoned carrying her to the bedroom.
  • The bed was maid and as you pulled back the blankets and sheets there was no sign of last night besides the ugly hospital bracelet on your wrist.
  • It looked like Saeyoung had order someone to buy and deliver a new mattress.
  • “Meow.” Mimi rubbed against your neck and you petted her lovingly.
  • The tears started to form. “Mimi…I’m sorry we left you alone…”
  • The cat purred and continued to let you hold her for a record amount of time.  
  • “We love you…” you whisper. “We love you and we’re sorry…”
  • The last one wasn’t for the cat, you knew it was for the unborn child you would never get to see.
  • You laid down and the cat came back to curl against you. You stroked her until you fell asleep.
  • When you awoke later Mimi was gone but I different pair of yellow eyes watched you.
  • You cuddled closer to your husband sleepily.
  • After a few moments you could hear him talking to you while stroking your hair.
  • “I’m sorry…you don’t deserve to go through this…”
  • “Neither do you…”
  • He jumped and his hand stopped. “I thought you were sleeping.”
  • “I was.”
  • More silence.
  • “I’ll let you sleep,” he said moving away.
  • You grabbed his arm. “Don’t do this.”
  • “Do what?”
  • “What you did last time. Don’t hold me at arm’s length to protect me.”
  • “This isn’t like last time…”
  • “Right now, you’re blaming yourself. You’re hating yourself. “This was unpredictable so neither of us is to blame,” is what I keep telling myself.” You took a deep breath. “Even so, I hate myself and keep trying to figure out if I did something wrong.”
  • He hugged you tight. “You didn’t. It’s all me. Whenever I have something pure and happy I ruin it. I don’t deserve you, I don’t deserve to have my own family. If I had just restrained myself…you could be with someone else-”
  • “Stop it!” You grab the front of his shirt. “Stop right now! You deserve as much happiness as anyone else and you make me happy. I’m not made of glass, even though I feel unimaginable sadness, I don’t need you to leave me.”
  • The tears were back and stung your eyes. “I’ll never forgive you if you leave me.”
  • He rested his forehead against yours. “I won’t leave you unless you tell me too.”
  • “Well that’s never going to happen.” You cup his face in your hands. “We can do this. It’ll take time but don’t run away.”
  • He covered your hand with his. “Together, with you.”

Doug listens to the tapes, from the first day he stepped into the Haphaestus until that last message he recorded for his daughter. It doesn’t feel like reliving anything. It feels like watching someone else’s life. He feels afloat, not knowing who he is anymore.

In one of those logs, he and Hera talks about personhood, about what makes them who they are. He remembers Hera quietly telling him that she doesn’t want anyone to mess with her memories. “It was hard,” she had said, “but that experience is part of who I am. I’m me. No one should be able to take that away from me. Does that make sense, Eiffel?”

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but i am good, i am grounded

written for day one of robron week - family. 

robert sugden is struggling, and not a single person has noticed.

or, aaron gets out of prison and wants to know why none of his family was looking out for his husband.

Robert Sugden was good at putting on a brave face. It was one of his greatest talents, really, being able to hide his true feelings underneath a layer of snark and disinterest, and he’d spent ten years using it to his advantage, away from Emmerdale, away from his family.

People only saw what he wanted them to see. That was how he’d always gotten by, people had never really seen the real him, the true feelings he hid under a soulless smile and an expensive haircut.

Aaron saw through him. Aaron had always seen right through his bullshit, been able to read his moods and thoughts and feelings in a way that had scared Robert, once, but made him feel safe, and loved, and appreciated now.

But Aaron wasn’t there.

Aaron was banged up, and he’d be there for the next year of their lives (not if Robert had any say in the matter, but judging by the sympathetic looks from Aaron’s solicitor at their last meeting, he didn’t have a say) and Robert was the one who’d been left to run things, keep everyone going.

It was fine.

Of course it was fine, it’s not like he was the one in prison or anything. Robert just had a few more people than he was used to relying on him, Liv needing a brother right now, the Dingles always needing him for something or other, because he was one of them now, and Aaron wasn’t there to help.

But it was fine.

It had to be fine, because Robert didn’t exactly have a choice in the matter. He had to keep their lives going, the scrapyard ticking over, keep the work on the Mill going so that Aaron had a life to come back to.

Robert wasn’t going to have his husband come back to a wreckage of a life, a life Robert couldn’t keep afloat on his own.

No, that would make him weak.

Robert Sugden was not a weak man, not when his husband needed him to be the strong one.

So Robert dug out his brave face again, and he got on with it.

Or at least he tried to.

anonymous asked:

Hey, congrats on 2, 000 followers! :) Can I maybe have a drabble with 65. "I don't want you to stop" and 6. “I need a place to stay.”? Thanks!

(cont.) for the 65 and 6 request can I have Jughead x Reader?

Thank you so much! and of course!


You chase Jughead to the back of the drive-in theatre, and when you walk in you stop in your tracks.

“What the hell?” you say quietly, but he still hears you.

“(Y/N), I told you not to follow me, why didn’t you stop when I told you to out there?” He turns to face you, taking a few steps towards you. 

“I’m your girlfriend, Juggie, I wanted to know why you got so upset at Archie out there. I didn’t know that there would be a mattress in the middle of the room.” You gesture to the said mattress, laying on the floor with a simple blanket laying over it. 

“It’s not like many people have ever come back here.” he scoffs, not able to look you in the eyes.

“Why is it here? What’s going on?” You question him further, taking more steps closer. 

There’s a silence that hangs in the air for what seems like hours. It’s unbearable. Only when the light from the movie flips on do I see that his eyes are misting over. 

“Jug…” you say calmly, finally closing the gap between you and encasing him in your arms.

“I need a place to stay.” he whispers, and it feels like it took all of his strength to say those words.

“What?” you ask, your hand going to hold the back of his neck, fiddling with the loose ends of his hair as you hold him. 

“The drive-in is closing, and I need a place to stay.” His arms finally wrap around yours, and he pulls you in so close. It’s like he’s floating out to see, and you are his life vest keeping him afloat. 

“Jughead, why didn’t you tell me any of this?” you close your eyes, trying to focus on his heartbeat, trying to calm him. 

“I didn’t want you to think… I don’t know.” he shakes his head, and you pull back from one another. You wipe a wetness from under his eyes with your thumbs. You’ve never seen him this emotional about something, but yet again, the drive-in is one of Jughead’s favorite things. 

“Stay with me.” you say. 

He looks at me, stunned, “Your parents would let me?”

“They love you, of course they would.” you say to him, reassuring him with just a look that everything would be okay now. 

Your hand cups his chin and you place a kiss on his lips. His hands find your waist and you just stand there like this for a few minutes, lips touching, hands on each other. 

“I’m sorry.” he says afterwards, your foreheads still touching.

“Why?” you question.

“I don’t want you to stop. Please never stop being you.” he says. 


Hope this is okay!

An F.Y.I.

I’m going to be on a temporary semi-hiatus. I’m exhausted, guys. If I’m being honest, the past four and a half months have been extremely difficult for myself and my family. It’s been pretty traumatic. My brain and my body are paying for it; I’m struggling to keep my head above water. I’ve been using this site and writing fanfiction as a distraction, as a crutch, as a coping mechanism. I feel like a fake giving you guys advice right now, because I’m failing at utilizing those words for myself.

I appreciate each and every one of you so very much. You have all been so supportive and positive, (You’ve been that life vest keeping me afloat, ) but in order for me to really be here with you guys, I still need for my head to be in the right place. I won’t be as responsive or active on here for a while. Feel free to continue sending in asks and messages. You’ll still get a response, it will just be on my own brain time. If there’s something you’d like for me to see, please tag me. I will see and be grateful for the thought.

I apologize to those of you still waiting on requests.

Cafe Latte

Café Latte | Coffee Shop AU. Phil’s always been that awkward boy who never quite belonged, and when he runs off to University, that doesn’t really change; he’s still that weird boy who continuously finds himself being bullied, even as the barista behind the counter. Until Dan comes along. | Phan | Gen | Pre-slash | 3,453 Words

Disclaimer: In no way do I claim that this is real or cast aspersions on Dan or Phil.

I may have had to stalk my prompts tag to come up with inspiration, but @ineverhadmyinternetphase was having a bad day, so here’s some coffee shop fluff based off this comic to cheer them up :)) I’m sorry I have no confidence in my reality fics anymore, so I didn’t write domestic fluff, but I hope this at least makes you giggle. Sorry you already went to bed, but it’ll hopefully make your day come morning <3

(AO3 Link)

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Ora ti cuntu nu fattu. C’era un paisi unni a miseria e a gnuranza ficinu veniri a guerra e a guerra puttoi timpesta i bumbi e ragnola i ghiummu. Nta stu paisi c’era na famigghia  e chi risto nto menzu da motti e du focu. U patri muriu mentri ciccava pani pi figghi, a matri finiu sutta cimentu e matuni. Prima di moriri ghiamo so figghiu ranni e ci dissi “Potta a to soru chiù nica a ciccari a filicità nta n’otru paisi unni i to cugini ti spettunu”. Iddu pigghiò so soru e ncumincioi a camminari passannu furesti e disetti, mucciannusi quannu rivavanu i figghi da motti chi vulianu mazzari o quannu c’eranu i latri di animi chi vulianu rubbari. Rivaru nta na città a riva u mari e a carusa spiò o frati u ranni “è ca a filicità?” Ma u ranni rispunniu “no è chiù avanti”. Nta stu paisi u frati ranni travagghioi e a picciridda ciccava a limosina. A fini ficiru tanti soddi e quannu u frati ranni ci mustroi a nica, chista ci spioi “è chista a felicità?” E u frati ranni ci rispunniu “no ma putemu cattari nu postu nta na bacca e annari nto paisi da filicità”. Accussi si misiru in fila pi nchianari nta na bacca cu tanta autra genti d’ogni culuri. Patteru all’abba e annaru nto mari pi nu jonnu e na notti. Poi u tempu cancioi e u mari gridava e si isava e calava. A genti nta bacca si ittava i buci pu scantu. A bacca si inchia d’acqua e u frati misi a soru nu sabbagenti che avia cattatu pi idda. A bacca leggiu leggiu stava nfunnanu. U mari si facia sempri chiù fotti e i cavadduni eranu chiu ranni da bacca, a genti gridava e ciancia. Unu i chisti visti ca a carusa avia nu I sabbagenti e cicco mi ciu scippa. So frati u visti e u firroi mi ci misca, i dui ficiru a coppa finu a chi non caderu nta l’acqua e nta nu minutu sicunu scumpareru. A carusa muta muta incuminciò a cianciri picchi so frati nun putia chiù vidiri a filicità. U sabbagenti a tiniu a galla mentri u mari pari chi si stava cammannu. Cumpariu na bacca ianca cu omini vistuti i iancu chi parravanu stranu. A pigghiaru e sa puttaru cu iddi e da bacca a puttaru nterra, nta nu postu cu tanti letti unni omini vistuti i iancu e a vaddavunu nta tutti i patti : nta bucca, nte ricchi. Idda allura ci spioi si a felicità era da. Ci dissiru di no e a puttaru nta n’otra banna e da spioi ancora si era da a felicità e ogni vota ci diciano no e a spustavanu ancora e accussi tanti voti chi piddiu u cuntu; ogni vota chi spiava si a felicità era da, ci rispunnianu di no, tantu ca fini no spioi chiù. Nu jonnu cumpariu na signura chi dissi chi era so cugina e sa puttó cu idda nta n’otru paisi luntanu. Arrivaru nta na casa unni c’eranu i figghi da signura e tutti a strinceru e baciaru e ci desiru vesti novi e tanti giucattuli. Allura a carusa spioi a signura si da c’era a felicita chi ciccava. Idda a pigghioi e a strinciu e ci spioi chi sintia e a carusa ci dissi che sintia cauddu nto cori u stissu caudu di brazza i so cugina e chi ci vinia i ridiri da cuntintizza. A signura ci dissi “ u vidi chista è a filicita, è intra i nui comi nu ciuri chiusu e quannu semu cuntenti stu ciuri si apri e ni quaddia u cori” “e picchí prima na sintia?” spioi a carusa, e a fimmina rispunniu “picchi u ciuri nasci nto cori sulu c’è paci” a carusa pinsoi a so frati a so matri, o mari e ai tanti che lassoi areti a idda e strinciu a so cugina chiù fotti picchi puru pi iddi chi nun c’eranu chiù vulia anticchia I filicità”. “Ora fa a nanna - ci dissi a cugina – chi chistu è nu fattu e tutti i fatti finisciunu ca genti che ridi cuntenta, ma cu ni leggi sapi, chi nta vita vera nun è accussi, nun è accussì”


Ora ti racconto una favola. C’era un paese dove la miseria e l’ignoranza fecero venire la guerra e la guerra portò una tempesta eterna di bomba una grandine continua di piombo. In questa paese c’era una famiglia che rimase nel mezzo della morte e del fuoco. Il padre morì mentre cercava il pane per i figli, la madre finì sotto cemento e mattoni. Prima di morire chiamò il figlio grande e gli disse “Porta tua sorella più piccola a cercare la felicità in un altro paese dove i tuoi cugini ti aspettano”. Lui prese sua sorella e incominciò a camminare passando foreste e deserti, nascondendosi quando arrivavano i figli della morte che volevano uccidere, o quando c’erano i ladri di anime che volevano rubare. Arrivarono in una grande città in riva al mare e la bambina chiese a suo fratello grande “È qui la felicità?” Ma il fratello rispose “no è più avanti”. In questo paese il fratello grande lavorò e la piccolina chiedeva l’elemosina. Alla fine raccolsero tanti soldi e il fratello grande li mostrò alla piccola e lei gli chiese “È questa la felicità?” e il grande gli rispose “No ma possiamo comprare un posto in una barca e andare nel paese della felicità” Così si misero in fila per salire su una barca con tanta altra gente di ogni colore. Partirono all’alba e andarono per mare per un giorno e una notte. Poi il tempo cambiò e il mare incominciò a gridare, a salire e scendere. La gente nella barca gridava per la paura. La barca si riempiva d’acqua e il fratello mise alla sorella un salvagente che aveva comprato per lei. La barca piano piano incominciò ad affondare. Il mare si faceva sempre più forte e i cavalloni erano più grandi della barca, la gente gridava e piangeva. Uno di questi vide la ragazza con il salvagente e cercò di prenderglielo. Suo fratello lo vide e lo afferrò i due si picchiarono fino a che non caddero in acqua e in un secondo scomparvero. La bambina in silenzio incominciò a piangere perché suo fratello non avrebbe più visto la felicità. Il salvagente la tenne a galla mentre il mare si andò calmando. Comparve una barca bianca con uomini vestiti di bianco che parlavano in modo strano. La presero e la portarono con loro sulla barca e dalla barca la portarono a terra, in un posto con tanti letti dove uomini vestiti di bianco la visitarono: nella bocca, nelle orecchie. Lei allora chiese se la felicità fosse lì. Le dissero di no e la portarono da un'altra parte e li chiese ancora se la felicità fosse li. Le dissero di no e la spostarono ancora da un'altra parte e così tante volte che perse il conto; ogni volta chiedeva se la felicità fosse li, e le rispondevano sempre di no; alla fine lei non lo chiese più. Un giorno comparve una signora che disse che era sua cugina e se la portò con lei in un paese lontano. Arrivarono in una casa dove c’erano i figli di quella signora e tutti la strinsero e la baciarono le diedero vestiti nuovi e tanti giocattoli. Allora la bambina chiese alla signora se li ci fosse la felicità che cercava. Lei la prese e la strinse forte e le chiese cosa sentisse e la bambina rispose che sentiva caldo nel cuore, lo stesso caldo che avevano le sue braccia e che le veniva da ridere per la contentezza. La signora le rispose “lo vedi questa è la felicità, è dentro di noi come un fiore chiuso e quando siamo contenti questo fiore si apre e riscalda il cuore” “perché prima non la sentivo?” chiese la bambina “Perché il fiore nasce nel cuore solo se c’è la pace” La bambina pensò a suo fratello e ai suoi genitori al mare e ai tanti che aveva lasciato indietro e strinse più forte sua cugina perché anche per loro che non c’erano voleva un po’ di felicità. “Ora fai la nanna – le disse la cugina – che questa è una fiaba e come tutte le fiabe finisce con la gente che ride contenta, ma chi legge sa, che nella vita vera non è così, non è così”


Now I’m telling you a fairy tale. There was a country where misery and ignorance made war and war brought an everlasting bomb storm a steady hail of lead. In this country, there was a family that remained in the middle of death and fire. The father died while he was looking for bread for his children, and the mother due to a bomb, came under concrete and bricks. Before dying, she called his older son and said, “Bring your little sister to look for happiness in another country where your cousins are waiting for you.” He took his sister and began to walk through forests and deserts, hiding when the son of the dead wanted to kill them, or when there were the thieves of souls who wanted to steal them. They came to a big city by the sea and the little girl asked her older brother, “Is happiness here?” But her brother replied, “No, it is not here” In this country, the big brother worked and the little one begged for alms. They collected so much money and the big brother showed them to the little girl and she asked him “Is this happiness?” And the big one replied, “No, but we can buy a place in a boat and go to the land of happiness.” So, they got in row to go on a boat with so many other people of every color. They left at dawn and went to sea for a day and a night. Then the weather changed and the sea began to shout, to climb up and down. People in the boat screamed for fear. The boat was filled with water and his brother put a sister’s life buoy he had bought for her. The boat slowly began to sink. The sea was getting stronger and the waves were bigger than the boat, people shouted and cry. One of them saw the girl with the life buoy and tried to take it. His brother saw him and grabbed the two of them banging until they fell into the water and in a second disappeared. The little girl in silence began to cry because her brother would no longer see happiness. The life buoy kept her afloat while the sea went calm. There was a white boat with men dressed in white talking strangely. They took her with them on the boat and the boat took her to the ground, in a place with so many beds where men dressed in white visited her: in the mouth, in the ears. She then asked if happiness was there. They told her of no and took her to another side and she asked them again if happiness was there. They told her of no and they moved her from another side and so many times that she missed the bill; Every time she wondered if happiness was there, and they always answered her not, so in the end she did not ask for it anymore. One day a lady appeared who said that she was her cousin and she took with her in a far country. They came to a house where there were the children of that lady and they all shuffled and kissed her and gave her new clothes and so many toys. Then the little girl asked the lady if there was the happiness she was looking for. She caught her and squeezed her tightly and asked her what she felt and the little girl said that she felt warm in her heart, the same warmth she had in her arms and that she laugh and she was happy. The lady replied, “you see this is the happiness, it’s inside of us like a closed flower, and when we’re happy this flower opens and warms up our heart” “Why did not I first hear it?” Asked the little girl. “Because the flower is born in heart only if there is peace "The little girl thought of her brother and her parents to the sea and the many she had left behind and squeezed her cousin stronger because even for them that they did not find, she looking for a bit of happiness. "Now you’re going to sleep,” said her cousin, “this is a fairy tale, and like all fairy tales end up with people who laugh happy, but whoever reads this story knows that in real life it is not so, it is not so.”

INSEONG // TALK TO ME

Comforting them expansion

Inseong let out a heavy breath, his head resting in his hands. He couldn’t remember how he got to your apartment only that he needed to see you, just hear your voice. Today had been unusually difficult. Not that everyday didn’t have its challenges, but this day had been its own special kind of hell. He needed to get away. You’d given him a key to your place nearly a month ago, and now that key was a life vest keeping him afloat in a swirling hurricane. He’d held it tight in his palm reminding himself that in a few hours he could leave this place and see you.

A soft click echoed off the hollow walls of your apartment and Inseong jumped to his feet, an exhausted smile drawing to his lips as he smoothed the wrinkles in his shirt.

“Inseong?” Your brow flicked down, a wash of concern and surprise mixing in your irises. A bundle of binders was held tight in your grasp. His lips tightened.

“You’re home,” he breathed, his voice came out more hollow than he intended and it only served to darken the wrinkle of worry in your brow.

You kicked your shoes off and Inseong made his way across the room to you, hesitating as he reached for the binders in your arms. “Thanks,” you sighed and Inseong smiled lightly, setting them down on the counter. As soon as you stepped foot into the apartment, Inseong pulled you into his arms and buried his face against your neck. His fingers tightened around your waist, holding onto you a touch longer than normal. You rubbed small circles over the knots of tension in his back and he melted into you, his chin falling heavy over your shoulder. “Is something the matter?”

His lips pulled up into a tight half-felt smile. “Everything’s fine. I’m just glad your home.” He squeezed you once more before pulling back, his hands falling to rest over your hips. His brow was held tightly upward and his gaze spoke a thousand words of relief — as if the very sight of you in his arms could lift him from his sorrow.

Your hand came to cup his cheek and he leaned against it. His eyes fell shut as he took in a long slow breath. “Are you sure? If something’s bothering you, you can tell me.” His lips drew into a tight line. “Inseong.” He bit the inside of his cheek before his eyes finally opened again to meet your gaze. “Talk to me.”

His thumbs ran over the tops of your hips, suddenly fascinated with the floor. The silence didn’t last long though before Inseong let out a sigh and told you what had gone wrong, why he’d needed to see you, just be near you, hear your voice. He swallowed hard, his lips trembling, and you pulled him into your chest. “I just,” Inseong took in a ragged breath, his fingers tightening around your back. “I just needed you.” You shushed him, tracing patterns over his back and he bit his lip as silent tears quaked through his body. He was so tired. And you. This. You were more than he could have ever asked for. More than he deserved.

Finally, the tears slowed and Inseong took in a shaking breath, pulling back. Your eyes were rimmed red and your cheeks glistened with tear stains. Inseong’s brow knitted together, the corners of his lips drawing down helplessly. He pulled away, gaze falling to the ground once more. He never wanted you to suffer his pain. It was his job to make you smile and, to see you broken over his frustration… “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come over. It was selfish of me. It’s a stupid spat, I should’ve dealt with it on my own.”

“Inseong,” you murmured, but he didn’t seem to hear you — trapped in an endless stream of apologies. And then suddenly your hands were cupping his face, drawing his gaze to you. His eyes widened, his mouth falling into an ‘o’. “Love,” you breathed. He gulped, lips pressing together again. “You mean more to me than I have words to tell.” You reached one hand to smooth his hair and a soft smile tugged to Inseong’s lips. “Don’t ever apologize for being upset. Sometimes life turns its back on you and it’s okay to come to me for help. Let me be there for you as much as you are for me.”

His lips pulled tight, eyes wavering with tears once more. He let out a sigh, his anxiety evaporating with it as his face fell against your neck again. His fingers drew arbitrary patterns across your back and he took in a long breath, “What did I ever do to deserve an s/o like you?”

Going through probably the most difficult time of my life. Trying to stay afloat. Don’t know why I’m writing this here but I literally have nowhere to go

December Day 15

You had been dating Jeffery for about 8 months now. The two of you have been friends for years, and you liked him for a lot of that time. You were just so much younger than him and it bothered you that people judged you both for it.

It’s not like you had daddy issues. You liked him for who he was as a person, not his age. He just matched you perfectly and helped keep you afloat in life. You hated that they judged him for having a younger girlfriend also.

Today while at work you heard 4 different people talking about your relationship. Maybe you shouldn’t work for a newspaper that loves to gossip, but you got a degree in journalism and it’s not that easy to find new places.

The day had been stressful for you. You were supposed to go on a date with Jeff tonight, but you couldn’t bring yourself to get ready. Instead you changed into fuzzy pajamas, curled up in a blanket on the couch, and turned on Netflix to watch Supernatural. This usually calmed you down.

When Jeffrey got home he saw you on the couch. You were crying. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

“I just…work was horrible today, and I haven’t even started Christmas shopping yet! And people keep criticizing and judging us for our relationship. I’m too young for you!” You were full on crying now and burying your head in a pillow.

“Y/n, honey. You are not too young for me. You are perfect. Age doesn’t matter as long as it’s legal, and it’s just society that believes there is something wrong with an older man and younger girl. We complete each other and I’m not going to let you think otherwise.”

He made you look at him before he continued.

“You don’t have to work there, you know. There are plenty people that will hire you..plenty that want to. Or you could travel with me and do travel blogs like you always wanted. Also, we can go Christmas shopping tomorrow. It’ll be fun. Deal?”

“Yes. Thank you, babe.” You gave him a watery smile.

“Good, I’m going to get into my pajamas and make some hot chocolate. Then we can just lay here and maybe watch those new Christmas movies you’ve been dying to see?”

You two did just that all night. You cuddled up together and watched the new Christmas movies recorded and had been wanting to see on Hallmark. No romance movie could compete with your boyfriend though, he was perfect.

Originally posted by negandarylsatisfaction

New-to-me Films of 2017

2017 was a wild year for me personally, a lot of ups and a lot of rough and stressful downs. But I’ve somehow managed to survive all of it and these are the 360 movies that I watched this year that helped keep me afloat while life came at me.

  1. The Conspirators (1944)
  2. See You in the Morning
  3. The Man Who Could Work Miracles
  4. No Blade of Grass
  5. Tortilla Flat
  6. The Dark Tower
  7. Ocho apellidos vascos
  8. Cannery Row
  9. Irene
  10. Fingers at the Window
  11. Hidden Figures
  12. Agatha (1979)
  13. Madness of the Heart
  14. Deception
  15. The Ref
  16. The Seven-Per-Cent-Solution
  17. Marriage on the Rocks
  18. Pennies from Heaven
  19. Ben-Hur (2016)
  20. Make Way for a Lady
  21. You Got to Move
  22. Freedom on My Mind
  23. Mr. Lucky
  24. Zero Motivation
  25. Cabin in the Sky
  26. The Terminal Man
  27. Cousin Bette
  28. House of Women
  29. Hell or High Water
  30. Caged
  31. The Dressmaker
  32. Condemned Women
  33. Suffragette
  34. Tin Men
  35. Coma
  36. Blazing Saddles
  37. Fame
  38. Ridicule
  39. Days of Wine and Roses
  40. Tokyo Drifter [Tôkyô nagaremono] (1966)
  41. Get Out
  42. The Mosquito Coast
  43. Indignation
  44. The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
  45. Two Weeks Notice
  46. The Legend of 1900
  47. ChickLit
  48. The Cosmic Man
  49. The People vs. Fritz Bauer
  50. Cinemania
  51. The LEGO Batman Movie
  52. Submarine
  53. Little Men (2016)
  54. Jauja
  55. O.J.: Made in America
  56. I Dream Too Much
  57. Eyewitness
  58. The Edge of Seventeen
  59. Queen of Katwe
  60. An American Werewolf in London
  61. A Country Called Home
  62. The Witness
  63. Come What May
  64. Renoir
  65. Newtown
  66. Ocho apellidos catalanes
  67. Ahora o nunca
  68. Ithaca
  69. A Dangerous Woman
  70. Tenemos que hablar
  71. Woman in Gold
  72. Il a déjà tes yeux
  73. Gone Too Far
  74. The Daughter
  75. Lolo
  76. 20th Century Women
  77. Altamira
  78. Afterglow
  79. Wild Oats
  80. The Break-Up
  81. King Kong Escapes
  82. Moonlight
  83. For Pete’s Sake
  84. Middle of the Night
  85. Christopher Strong
  86. Summer Magic
  87. Laughter in Paradise
  88. Village of Daughters
  89. Wonder Woman
  90. Little Miss Thoroughbred
  91. Steel Against Sky
  92. At the Circus
  93. Banjo (1947)
  94. Convicts 4
  95. Bad Little Angel
  96. Love (1919)
  97. Sunnyside (1919)
  98. The Connection
  99. Midnight Mary
  100. The Madwoman of Chaillot
  101. The Secret Life of Pets
  102. The Opposite Sex
  103. The Children’s Hour
  104. All That Heaven Allows
  105. The Small Back Room
  106. Indiscretion of an American Wife
  107. The Old Man and the Sea
  108. Death in Venice
  109. Desire (1936)
  110. The Seventh Sin
  111. The Song of Songs
  112. When in Rome
  113. He Ran All the Way
  114. Rancho Notorious
  115. The Sign of the Ram
  116. Isle of Fury
  117. The Boss Baby
  118. Seven Keys to Baldpate
  119. I Am Not Your Negro
  120. Withnail & I
  121. My Name is Julia Ross
  122. Il rosso segno della follia
  123. Flamingo Road
  124. Buona Sera, Mrs. Campbell
  125. Tea and Sympathy
  126. Dementia 13
  127. Places in the Heart
  128. Freaks
  129. Come September
  130. Gypsy
  131. So Well Remembered
  132. The Window
  133. Magnificent Obsession
  134. Secret People
  135. They Won’t Forget
  136. Denial
  137. The Rain People
  138. Freebie and the Bean
  139. Portrait of Jason
  140. Song of the Sea
  141. Hide in Plain Sight
  142. Daughter’s of the Dust
  143. Carol
  144. Oh, Hello on Broadway
  145. Torch Song Trilogy
  146. The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks
  147. The Year of Living Dangerously
  148. Badlands
  149. Nobody Lives Forever
  150. Countdown
  151. Faults
  152. The Search for General Tso
  153. Amore tra le rovine
  154. Pretty Ugly People
  155. Miss Firecracker
  156. America America
  157. Koch
  158. The Emigrants
  159. Everything Must Go
  160. Tour de Pharmacy
  161. The Best of Everything
  162. Ladybug Ladybug
  163. Two Weeks in Another Town
  164. Cynara
  165. Thirst (1929)
  166. Clive of India
  167. The Light that Failed
  168. Dunkirk
  169. Their Finest
  170. Friends and Lovers
  171. That Old Feeling
  172. Bedknobs and Broomsticks
  173. Alias Nick Beal
  174. Panic in Year Zero!
  175. A Life of Her Own
  176. What Every Woman Knows
  177. The Incredible Jessica James
  178. Tropic Thunder
  179. Let’s Do It Again
  180. Born to Kill
  181. The Blackbird (1926)
  182. The Naked Jungle
  183. The Girl From Missouri
  184. The Unguarded Hour
  185. Uncle Vanya (1957)
  186. The King Steps Out
  187. Five Graves to Cairo
  188. Today We Live
  189. The Wife Takes a Flyer
  190. Between Two Women
  191. Until They Sail
  192. Romanoff and Juliet
  193. Fast and Furious (1939)
  194. Brother John
  195. Dangerous
  196. These Wilder Years
  197. Dreamboat
  198. Doctor, You’ve Got to Be Kidding!
  199. Tight Spot
  200. Twenty Million Sweethearts
  201. Something of Value
  202. Star of Midnight
  203. The Sea Gull
  204. So Big!
  205. The Purchase Price
  206. All I Desire
  207. Morgan!
  208. The Beautiful Cheat
  209. Young Catherine (1991)
  210. Camelot
  211. The Feminine Touch
  212. No Time for Comedy
  213. Kind Lady
  214. Biography of a Bachelor Girl
  215. Janie
  216. Desire Me
  217. Scandal at Scourie
  218. Her 12 Men
  219. The Law and the Lady
  220. Eyes in the Night
  221. Condemned
  222. Pretty Baby
  223. Remember?
  224. The Hard Way
  225. Strange Lady in Town
  226. L'aveu
  227. Two Guys from Milwaukee
  228. Gunman in the Streets
  229. Term of Trial
  230. Guns of Darkness
  231. Hearts Divided
  232. The Fixer
  233. Viaggio in Italia
  234. Menashe
  235. The Bride’s Play
  236. Gaby
  237. Little Evil
  238. Lost in Space
  239. Logan
  240. The Electric Horseman
  241. Finding Vivian Maier
  242. The Five Heartbeats
  243. Beginners
  244. Carousel
  245. The Scapegoat
  246. Fracture
  247. The Hippopotamus
  248. Beauty and the Beast (2017)
  249. Christine
  250. Mum, Dad, Meet Sam
  251. Walking with the Enemy
  252. Cézanne et moi
  253. The Shining
  254. Yves Saint Laurent (2014)
  255. Innerspace
  256. Jackie Brown
  257. The Dracula Saga (1973)
  258. Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom
  259. The Big Sick
  260. My Father the Hero
  261. The Squid and the Whale
  262. Milk
  263. The Two Faces of January
  264. Dracula’s Dog
  265. What We Do in the Shadows
  266. Hoffa
  267. Inside Man
  268. Kumu Hina
  269. Flash of Genius
  270. Nono, het Zigzag Kind
  271. Count Dracula (1970)
  272. CBGB
  273. The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected)
  274. Is That You?
  275. Wedding Doll
  276. Seven Sweethearts
  277. Brainstorm
  278. Blade Runner 2049
  279. Madam Satan
  280. Madchenjahre einer Konigen
  281. Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping
  282. Design for Scandal
  283. Give a Girl a Break
  284. Long Lost Father
  285. Slums of Beverly Hills
  286. Begin Again
  287. Performance
  288. Broadway Ballyhoo
  289. The Monster (1925)
  290. Packed in a Trunk: The Lost Art of Edith Lake Wilkinson
  291. Casino
  292. Honolulu (1939)
  293. Willard (1971)
  294. Ben (1972)
  295. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
  296. Güeros
  297. Gremlins
  298. The Salesman (2016)
  299. Donnie Darko
  300. Balalaika
  301. It’s a Great Feeling
  302. One Of Us
  303. Little Dieter Needs to Fly
  304. I Was a Communist for the FBI
  305. Blast of Silence
  306. Nightcrawler
  307. Loving Vincent
  308. Scent of a Woman
  309. Pushover
  310. Ah-ga-ssi (The Handmaiden)
  311. Tender Comrade
  312. Fehér isten (White God)
  313. Florence Foster Jenkins
  314. Marshall
  315. The Limehouse Golem
  316. Made in Dagenham
  317. A Serious Man (MY 4,000th FILM!)
  318. Ann Vickers
  319. Cinderella Liberty
  320. Paddington
  321. John Garfield (2002)
  322. Kiss Kiss Fingerbang
  323. Night Mayor
  324. Green Fire
  325. Mermaids
  326. Jeopardy (1953)
  327. Coco
  328. Luna Park
  329. The Dead
  330. Bernice Bobs Her Hair
  331. Mudbound
  332. Saturday Night Fever
  333. Shield for Murder
  334. The Black Balloon
  335. Consolation Marriage
  336. Period of Adjustment
  337. Married Bachelor
  338. Ask Me, Don’t Tell Me
  339. Kriminal
  340. Akeelah and the Bee
  341. The Tenth Man (El Rey del Once)
  342. Feu Mathias Pascal
  343. Star Wars: The Last Jedi
  344. Spider-Man: Homecoming
  345. Beatriz at Dinner
  346. Keep Your Powder Dry
  347. The Shape of Water
  348. The Best House in London
  349. Trumbo
  350. Latitude Zero
  351. Homecoming
  352. Tall Story
  353. Any Wednesday
  354. Cass Timberlane
  355. A Scandal in Paris
  356. Peyton Place
  357. Betrayed
  358. The Prodigal
  359. Bachelor in Paradise
  360. A Big Hand for the Little Lady

“Empty.”

Norman Reedus Fanfiction Part 4


Pt.4

Danai took me home after a few hours after Norman left me. I walked to my apartment and unlocked my door. With a sigh I walked to the kitchen and poured a glass of wine.

I turned on the radio and decided to smoke some.  Minutes flew by as I watched the ceiling in utter boredom.

I didn’t know anymore, life wasn’t the same. Norman was there for me always. Now? He just had a lovely, intimate and breathtaking waltz with me. What was this sinister game he playing? He always toyed with me, constantly playing coy. I believe that was the symbol of our relationship, coy.

Living with him was actually pretty blissful, and happy. His parents were actually very fond of me, and they made sure I knew.

Going to sleep was hard that night, thinking of that dance, thinking about everything. I never meant to leave him, but I felt as if that was the only way to save both our hides.

~

Waking up the next morning was worse than the night before. The sun shined right into my eyes, and my body felt sore. I decided to hand loose, with a loose bun. I threw on a appropriate makeup face, and threw on a huge sweatshirt and some leggings. All snug  I walked out of my apartment and drove to the set.

“Hello there!” Danai already coming up to my car with a coffee cup. I smiled without teeth and took it.

“Thanks.” I mumble getting out of the car. Even though I wasn’t drunk the previous night but yet i felt every emotion of being hung over. Danai noticed as we walked into together.

“Maybe instead of hiding behind your guys’ past, try talking to him.” She looked at me with a shrug. I rolled my eyes even though she was right, Before I knew she was off in set.

I sipped my coffee and decided thinking back to the days Sean and I were together. He was truly a nice gentlemen at first. He would take me on his bike, and his convertible. One day Norman came with us, and sadly Liz.

“Have you guys seen this new bracelet I got my princess?” He asked as we drove to Norman’s.  Sean raised my wrist to show the silver and topaz bracelet. It was expensive but Sean was very much enjoying our relationship. He always complimented me and mentioned how we always looked good together. He was affectionate and it’s what I needed at the time. I needed that affection, and attention. Norman loved Liz, or loved something about her. Probably her vanity. The way her hair flowed so perfectly, even getting little fly-aways stuck on that slut lipstick couldn’t stop him from drooling. It made me sick, but also happy he wasn’t upset about leaving home.  I thought his family was the best, kind people in my opinion.

“She loves it.” Sean said wrapping his arm around me, still driving with one hand. Norman and Liz were in the background constantly smooching, and whispering in each other’s ears. Even though my gut told me they weren’t talking about me… my anxiety grew. She was perfect, and yes I was jealous of those looks of hers, but they will fade. I know mine will too, but at least I still have the intelligence to keep my life afloat. Liz, depends on her looks.

“Baby you okay?” Sean asked looking at me.

“Oh, yea sorry. Just looking at my bracelet.” I said smiling. He flashed me his smile as my phone rung. I of course answered it.

“(Y/n)!!!! Where is Norman and Sean! We need them on set this instant! I instructed you to make sure they get on time!!” He screamed so loud in the phone.

“Babe turn the speakerphone off.” Sean insisted.

“It’s not on speaker Sean, turn around and drive to set before I get fired.”  I snap making Norman jump. He never got used to me using my angry tone when we were young.

Sean followed my order, with a swift movement of his freehand back on the steering wheel. He looked frightened from me showing more emotion.  

~

Finally getting on set, and with Liz leaving, I could finally talk to Norman.

Dropping some fake blood on his face I stared at those beautiful blue orbs.

“You okay?” He asked noticing my lack of speaking.

“Fine just tired.” I said truthfully. I saw Norman looking amy bracelet with a almost upset look.

“Are you okay Norman?” I asked stopping to look at him.

“Yea I’m fine, just homesick. I try to talk to Liz about it but she just tunes me out, or unzips my pants and goes for anything to shut me up.”

I nodded, “Sean’s the same way.” I mumbled looking over at Sean who was of course, staring right at me. The director never looked so furious, it almost made me laugh at how little Sean was looking at the camera.

Norman nodded and looked back at the mirror. “Am I camera ready?” He said standing. I smiled and hugged him tightly.

“Always.”  I whispered into his chest. His hugs were the ones you never wanted to let go. Or start for the matter, because every hug soon has to end. His chin rested on top of my head and breathed heavy.

“Everything okay?” Sean asked in a low, angry voice. Norman broke our beautiful hug and looked at him.

“We are just homesick.” He said softly. Sean gave him a glare then wrapped his arm around my waist.

Sean led me behind a corner and pressed me against the wall.

“Tell me you love me.” He whispered into my ear.

“I love you.” I whispered. I never truly loved Sean, i liked him, and he was a good boyfriend, but I never loved him.

Sean’s eyes looked down at me with a smile, “Good girl.”  He pressed his lips onto mine with powerful force. He made em feel owned and in some ways I found incredible pleasure but yet i felt contained.

~

I jumped back into reality hearing the director’s voice yelling to the cast. I watched as Norman walked onto the set. I believe the character of Daryl Dixon was the sexiest I have ever met. I stared as he walked on the house set.

“Wow.” I mumbled to myself watching Norman hold his crossbow. His arm muscles bulged holding the weapon.

Norman looked over at me for a moment. In this moment it was just remembered our past. Those crystal blue eyes staring deep into my own. He watched me, I don’t even think he blinked once.

“Come on Reedus.”  Alexander said with a nudge.

Norman’s POV

“There is a theory when you look at someone you love, your pupils dilate.”  Andrew said wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

“And your pupils are sooo dilated.” Steven said with a laugh. I rolled my eyes at the theory. How could I ever love someone who left me when I needed them most?

~

I walked into her apartment, the door wasn’t even locked, and I saw nothing. No paintings, no television. No (Y/n). My heart dropped, and I stopped breathing. I felt as if a part of me left with her. She was fine the night before, I was with her! Liz invited her over for dinner, she broke up with Sean that same morning, now she is gone.

I walked through empty halls, looking into empty shelves seeing if she left anything, a sign or something telling me where to go. I remember crying, I never cried so hard before in my life. She was my best friend … now she was gone.  

It took me hours to leave the apartment, and hours to go home. Liz was there by the time I opened the door,

“Hey Baby.” She smiled and hugged me. I didn’t return it. She sighed and walked away without leaving a word. I watched as she walked away back to the television. My anger fueled like a wildfire,

“Get out.” I mumbled walking to the kitchen. She looked at me and raised a eyebrow,

“Excuse me?” She said with a gasp.

“I said get out. As in leave this house and never come back.” I yelled making her move. She didn’t grab her stuff or anything, she glared and left.

~

(Y/n) never broke eye contact with me.  Andrew looked at her a few times during set but that was it.

“She has yet stopped looking at you.” He whispered when we weren’t recording.

“Why?” I asked with a growl.

“Cause she wants to talk with you.” Danai whispered. “It’s time for you both to be adults and forget your past.”

“You dont know shit.” I growled looking at her. Those (e/c) always looked beautiful to me. The way the light hit off them. Her charming smile finally showed after I stared at her. She always seemed to catch me, and had my knees weak.
“I’ll talk to her later.” I said looking away from her.