lieutenant smith


I totally like to imagine Lieutenant Smith comes from a huge family where he is the oldest and he just has tons of little brothers and sisters and he joined the army so he could protect them, keep ‘em safe. He likes Caboose so much 'cuz he reminds him of his siblings. It’s also why he can understand Caboose’s childlike ideas, because he’s so used to interpreting his siblings ideas. Just…a big, soft dork who is covered in excited children the second he walks through the door. 

asexual smith that doesn’t care about sex at all, he just likes football

like when he was a kid he played in the little league because football was his favorite thing ever. instead of stuffed animals he slept with a football someone please draw that for me admit it it’s totally cute. he watched all the games over and over again and loved the commentary/analysis. (now he’s constantly analyzing stuff which is why he’s the only one that “gets” the stuff that caboose says.) so he wanted to be a football coach for a big league team when he was older, that was his dream

but then some shit happened and then some other shit happened and there was this civil war and now he’s a soldier which really sucks but hey, he’s got this kickass captain—captain caboose is absolutely brilliant!—that’s totally gonna help win the war and he’ll be able to play football again.

and they’ll have koolaid in the water fountains that’ll be pretty awesome too.