lieutenant mustache

If the captains and lieutenants pranked each other...


As requested by anon. :)


Here is a list of the best (?) pranks that the Gotei-13 captains and lieutenants pulled on each other!


1. Iba pranks Komamura

By replacing his shampoo with “Super Extra Volume Shampoo.”

Komamura: Iba?

Komamura: Do I seem…fluffier to you?

Iba: WHERE’S MY CAMERA


2. Soi Fon pranks Omaeda

By replacing all of his chips with cardboard.

Omaeda: [munching]

Soi Fon: He didn’t notice???


3. Nanao pranks Kyoraku

By putting a few drops of tabasco sauce into his sake.

Kyoraku: Wow! Deja vu!

Kyoraku: This tastes like my Academy days!

Nanao: .W-what kind of student were you?


4. Matsumoto pranks Hitsugaya

By sending a memo, purportedly from the Head Captain, requiring all officers shorter than 5 ft. to wear bunny ears to “improve visibility.”

Hitsugaya: Matsumoto!! Do you know where I can find bunny ears??

Matsumoto: I have some right here, Captain! Right next to my camera!

Hitsugaya: …I am suspicious.


5. Yamamoto pranks Sasakibe

By dying his mustache green while he sleeps.

Sasakibe: I’m having the BEST day!

Sasakibe: People have been looking at me! Looking! At me! 

Sasakibe: Must be the new comb I bought!

Yamamoto: Okay see now I feel a little bad.


6. Kurotsuchi pranks Nemu

By ordering her to latch onto Kenpachi and not let go.

Yachiru: Yay! Piggyback buddies!

Nemu: Please excuse me.

Kenpachi: I have no idea what’s happening.


7. Rukia pranks Ukitake

By painting his face to look like a bunny while he sleeps.

Ukitake: I-I look…..

Ukitake:

Ukitake: ….fucking adorable.


8. Rose pranks Kira

By telling him that in order to improve squad cohesion, Kira must kead the rest of Squad 3 in a Macarena marathon.

Kira: Hey! Macarena!

Rose: ….he looks like he’s having fun?


9. Unohana pranks Isane

By giving her some white chocolate….melted and shaped to look like fish paste.

Isane: [screaming]

Unohana: I may have gone too far.


10. Kenpachi pranks Yachiru

By giving her sugarless candy.

Yachiru: Wow! Fake candy to throw at people!

Kenpachi: She knew without tasting it….?


11. Kensei pranks Mashiro & Hisagi

By telling them that new Gotei-13 guidelines require him to only have one lieutenant….so he’ll decide who to fire by the end of the day.

Kensei: Feel free to try bribing and/or impressing me.

Hisagi: S-shit….

Mashiro: Don’t worry, Shuhei. I have so many compromising photos of Kensei, that I can blackmail him into keeping both of us!

Hisagi: Really?

Mashiro: Really!

Kensei: OR TRY THE BRIBING THING


12. Renji pranks Byakuya

By putting a “call me by an embarrassing nickname” sign on his back.

Byakuya: I do not understand. All day I have been addressed as “Sweet Cheeks” and “Twinkle Toes” and “Cheeky Kuchiki.”

Renji: [giggling]

Byakuya: I am suspicious.


13. Shinji pranks Hinamori

By taping photos of himself - doing ridiculous poses - inside her favorite books.

Hinamori: [reading]

Hinamori: Gah!

Shinji: Nailed it.


14. Omaeda pranks Soi Fon

By telling her that Urahara has been chosen as the new captain of Squad 8.

Soi Fon:

Soi Fon:

Soi Fon: BAN-

Omaeda: I HAVE MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE


15. Kira pranks Rose

By writing the world’s most terrible song and thing singing it - off-key - for Rose before asking him with big, deliberately anxious eyes for his opinion.

Kira: I’m trying to tap into my creative side, Captain. I hope it wasn’t too terrible. What did you think?

Rose: Um

Rose: Ah

Rose:

Rose: PLEASE STOP WITH THE PUPPY EYES

Kira: Sadness is my weapon.


16. Sasakibe pranks Yamamoto

By attaching bells to the ends of his eyebrows while he sleeps.

Yamamoto: What the HELL is that jingling?

Yamamoto (turning head rapidly back and forth): Where is it coming from??

Yamamoto: IT’S ALL AROUND ME


17. Ukitake pranks Rukia

By repeating back to her everything she says.

Rukia: Captain, I have the report.

Ukitake: Captain I have the report.

Rukia:

Rukia: Rukia is the greatest lieutenant in the world.

Ukitake: Rukia is the greatest lieutenant in the world.

Rukia: I think I’ll do the rest of her paperwork today.

Ukitake: I think I’ll do the rest of her paperwork today.

Rukia: Maybe forever.

Ukitake:

Ukitake: You caught on fast, huh?


18. Isane pranks Unohana

By telling all of their patients that if they used the magic word “cream puff” with Unohana, they would get a prize.

Patient: So anyway, that’s why my arm hurts. Cream puff.

Unohana:

Unohana: If one more person calls me cream puff, I am going to have a problem.


19. Nemu pranks Kurotsuchi

By “accidentally” leaving on Urahara’s debut CD “Singing in the Shop” while Kurotsuchi is in goo form.

Kurotsuchi: Nemu? Nemu? Nemu where are you I can’t reach the dial.

Kurotsuchi: I don’t have hands Nemu.

Kurotsuchi: NEMU


20. Hinamori pranks Shinji

By turning everything in his office upside down.

Shinji: H-how did she manage the desk??


21. Byakuya pranks Renji

By drawing a strawberry on his lower back and then convincing him that he got a tramp stamp while drunk.

Byakuya: I tried to stop you, Renji, but you insisted that the world needed to know about your great love for Kurosaki Ichigo.

Renji: OH MY GOD


22. Komamura pranks Iba

By telling Iba, “My cousin wants to join Squad 9. But he needs weapons training” before handing him a (perfectly normal) puppy.

Iba: I WILL TRAIN YOUR NOBLE COUSIN, SIR

Puppy: [excited wiggling]

Iba: Take this kendo stick, young recruit!

Iba: Um okay I guess holding it in your mouth is okay.

Iba: Wait come back!


23. Hitsugaya pranks Matsumoto

By wearing stilts and a regular-sized captain’s robe to make it appear that he grew several feet during the night.

Hitsugaya: Good morning, Matsumoto.

Matsumoto: !!!!


24. Kyoraku pranks Nanao

By telling her that “Gotei-13 regulations” require that all Squad 1 lieutenants have a mustache, before handing her a fake one.

Nanao:

Nanao: I have the regulations memorized, you know.


25. Hisagi & Mashiro prank Kensei

By convincing the entirety of Squad 9 to draw fake 69 tattoos on their faces.

Hisagi: Come on, Captain! You have to see the surprise!

Mashiro: The whole squad is gathered in here! With a special present for you!

Hisagi: You’re gonna love it!

[Hisagi & Mashiro throw open doors]

Mashiro: Presenting….the new 69 squad!

Kensei:

Kensei:

Kensei: THOSE HAD BETTER NOT BE REAL TATTOOS!


26. Yachiru pranks Kenpachi

By filling his office with candy. ….Which actually wasn’t intended as a prank.

Kenpachi: Wow. Good one, Yachiru.

Yachiru: What do you mean?