If the captains and lieutenants pranked each other...
As requested by anon. :)
Here is a list of the best (?) pranks that the Gotei-13 captains and lieutenants pulled on each other!
1. Iba pranks Komamura
By replacing his shampoo with “Super Extra Volume Shampoo.”
Komamura: Do I seem…fluffier to you?
Iba: WHERE’S MY CAMERA
2. Soi Fon pranks Omaeda
By replacing all of his chips with cardboard.
Soi Fon: He didn’t notice???
3. Nanao pranks Kyoraku
By putting a few drops of tabasco sauce into his sake.
Kyoraku: Wow! Deja vu!
Kyoraku: This tastes like my Academy days!
Nanao: .W-what kind of student were you?
4. Matsumoto pranks Hitsugaya
By sending a memo, purportedly from the Head Captain, requiring all officers shorter than 5 ft. to wear bunny ears to “improve visibility.”
Hitsugaya: Matsumoto!! Do you know where I can find bunny ears??
Matsumoto: I have some right here, Captain! Right next to my camera!
Hitsugaya: …I am suspicious.
5. Yamamoto pranks Sasakibe
By dying his mustache green while he sleeps.
Sasakibe: I’m having the BEST day!
Sasakibe: People have been looking at me! Looking! At me!
Sasakibe: Must be the new comb I bought!
Yamamoto: Okay see now I feel a little bad.
6. Kurotsuchi pranks Nemu
By ordering her to latch onto Kenpachi and not let go.
Yachiru: Yay! Piggyback buddies!
Nemu: Please excuse me.
Kenpachi: I have no idea what’s happening.
7. Rukia pranks Ukitake
By painting his face to look like a bunny while he sleeps.
Ukitake: I-I look…..
Ukitake: ….fucking adorable.
8. Rose pranks Kira
By telling him that in order to improve squad cohesion, Kira must kead the rest of Squad 3 in a Macarena marathon.
Kira: Hey! Macarena!
Rose: ….he looks like he’s having fun?
9. Unohana pranks Isane
By giving her some white chocolate….melted and shaped to look like fish paste.
Unohana: I may have gone too far.
10. Kenpachi pranks Yachiru
By giving her sugarless candy.
Yachiru: Wow! Fake candy to throw at people!
Kenpachi: She knew without tasting it….?
11. Kensei pranks Mashiro & Hisagi
By telling them that new Gotei-13 guidelines require him to only have one lieutenant….so he’ll decide who to fire by the end of the day.
Kensei: Feel free to try bribing and/or impressing me.
Mashiro: Don’t worry, Shuhei. I have so many compromising photos of Kensei, that I can blackmail him into keeping both of us!
Kensei: OR TRY THE BRIBING THING
12. Renji pranks Byakuya
By putting a “call me by an embarrassing nickname” sign on his back.
Byakuya: I do not understand. All day I have been addressed as “Sweet Cheeks” and “Twinkle Toes” and “Cheeky Kuchiki.”
Byakuya: I am suspicious.
13. Shinji pranks Hinamori
By taping photos of himself - doing ridiculous poses - inside her favorite books.
Shinji: Nailed it.
14. Omaeda pranks Soi Fon
By telling her that Urahara has been chosen as the new captain of Squad 8.
Soi Fon: …
Soi Fon: …
Soi Fon: BAN-
Omaeda: I HAVE MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE
15. Kira pranks Rose
By writing the world’s most terrible song and thing singing it - off-key - for Rose before asking him with big, deliberately anxious eyes for his opinion.
Kira: I’m trying to tap into my creative side, Captain. I hope it wasn’t too terrible. What did you think?
Rose: PLEASE STOP WITH THE PUPPY EYES
Kira: Sadness is my weapon.
16. Sasakibe pranks Yamamoto
By attaching bells to the ends of his eyebrows while he sleeps.
Yamamoto: What the HELL is that jingling?
Yamamoto (turning head rapidly back and forth): Where is it coming from??
Yamamoto: IT’S ALL AROUND ME
17. Ukitake pranks Rukia
By repeating back to her everything she says.
Rukia: Captain, I have the report.
Ukitake: Captain I have the report.
Rukia: Rukia is the greatest lieutenant in the world.
Ukitake: Rukia is the greatest lieutenant in the world.
Rukia: I think I’ll do the rest of her paperwork today.
Ukitake: I think I’ll do the rest of her paperwork today.
Rukia: Maybe forever.
Ukitake: You caught on fast, huh?
18. Isane pranks Unohana
By telling all of their patients that if they used the magic word “cream puff” with Unohana, they would get a prize.
Patient: So anyway, that’s why my arm hurts. Cream puff.
Unohana: If one more person calls me cream puff, I am going to have a problem.
19. Nemu pranks Kurotsuchi
By “accidentally” leaving on Urahara’s debut CD “Singing in the Shop” while Kurotsuchi is in goo form.
Kurotsuchi: Nemu? Nemu? Nemu where are you I can’t reach the dial.
Kurotsuchi: I don’t have hands Nemu.
20. Hinamori pranks Shinji
By turning everything in his office upside down.
Shinji: H-how did she manage the desk??
21. Byakuya pranks Renji
By drawing a strawberry on his lower back and then convincing him that he got a tramp stamp while drunk.
Byakuya: I tried to stop you, Renji, but you insisted that the world needed to know about your great love for Kurosaki Ichigo.
Renji: OH MY GOD
22. Komamura pranks Iba
By telling Iba, “My cousin wants to join Squad 9. But he needs weapons training” before handing him a (perfectly normal) puppy.
Iba: I WILL TRAIN YOUR NOBLE COUSIN, SIR
Puppy: [excited wiggling]
Iba: Take this kendo stick, young recruit!
Iba: Um okay I guess holding it in your mouth is okay.
Iba: Wait come back!
23. Hitsugaya pranks Matsumoto
By wearing stilts and a regular-sized captain’s robe to make it appear that he grew several feet during the night.
Hitsugaya: Good morning, Matsumoto.
24. Kyoraku pranks Nanao
By telling her that “Gotei-13 regulations” require that all Squad 1 lieutenants have a mustache, before handing her a fake one.
Nanao: I have the regulations memorized, you know.
25. Hisagi & Mashiro prank Kensei
By convincing the entirety of Squad 9 to draw fake 69 tattoos on their faces.
Hisagi: Come on, Captain! You have to see the surprise!
Mashiro: The whole squad is gathered in here! With a special present for you!
Hisagi: You’re gonna love it!
[Hisagi & Mashiro throw open doors]
Mashiro: Presenting….the new 69 squad!
Kensei: THOSE HAD BETTER NOT BE REAL TATTOOS!
26. Yachiru pranks Kenpachi
By filling his office with candy. ….Which actually wasn’t intended as a prank.
Kenpachi: Wow. Good one, Yachiru.
Yachiru: What do you mean?