Au where bokuto finds himself to be the single parent to a newborn child while in college. bokuto loves kids and is good with them but listen. no one is good with newborns. especially the child of bokuto, who would probs be a colicky mess and just as loud and needy as her father.
so bokuto, at his wits end juggling raising a child, college classes, and volleyball, displays the same dumbassery that netted him a child and decides to summon a fucking demon to help raise the kid. enter akaashi, an incredibly powerful demon, an elite general and strategist of satan’s army, claimer of a thousand souls, etc etc and now apparently the goddamn babysitter of a noisy whiny child and his newborn daughter. but akaashi can’t refuse a contract so he and bo agree that akaashi gets his soul if the kid survives to adulthood and turns out relatively well adjusted
which means cue ~*~ adorable coparenting shenanigans~*~~
akaashi, the right hand of the dark lord, has no fucking clue what to do with children and starts reading all kinds of bizarre child rearing books
“agaaaashi how do I make her stop crying” “try sacrificing a goat, that always appeased me when I was a young ghoul”
the baby keeps trying to put akaashi’s horns and tail in her mouth. akaashi politely asks her to stop. she don’t give a fuck.
“bokuto san I believe one of my many enemies has possessed your child, as she just projectile vomited across the room in a clearly unholy way”
and of course. akaashi starts growing attached to bokuto and the child
bokuto draws angry eyebrows on the kid’s face because lol. he almost cries when akaashi asks why there is comical pictures on instagram of “our child”
“c’mon baby, say ‘papa’!” “ hail satan?” “asdffhjk AGAASHII”
MATCHING HALLOWEEN COSTUMES. bo dresses up as a devil, akaashi lets down his glamour so his demonic form can be seen and they dress their little girl up as an angel
“daddy some boy at school keeps bullying me. the teacher said it’s because he likes me” “kill him.”
The leaked 1x08 Day Trip (the Bellarke Holy Grail) Script, which was conveniently released almost immediately after Bob tells fans at Unity Days 2017 that it is written into the script that Bellamy sometimes looks lovingly at Clarke.
“Bellamy is suddenly thrown by the intimacy of having her close.”
“Clarke kneels beside Bellamy, takes his face in her hands.”
“As we see their hands side by side, just barely touching…off Clarke, feeling the energy between them...”
“Bellamy has a sudden, desperate though. He pulls Clarke close.”
“Come with me…You and me. Screw everybody else. Let’s just…go.”
“For one electric moment, Clarke is tempted to say yes.”
“Exhaustion overtakes Bellamy–he lies down on the forest floor…”
“Clarke lies down next to him…”
“A stunned beat as Finn processes that. And not a small amount of jealousy.”
This has been the best birthday weekend of my entire fucking life.
So I had to check that someone hadn’t forged this and it turns out Dan literally replied this; it’s not even a parody account wtf is even happening anymore? Where even is the lie? Why am I asking all these questions?
*Lies down on floor*
WTF IS HAPPENING