that “locking my doors” meme, reconsidered.

This is for the Nonny who wanted to share how much they wanted refugees to die somewhere else, but wasn’t brave enough to put their name on their hate, and everyone else who might think they’re Good People but that charity only goes so far….


Shared from a friend:

From my friend Karen Gillmore:

Now about that meme going around —I won’t share the image, but it says: “Not takin’ in Syrian refugees and closin’ our borders isn’t "mean” or “heartless”. I lock my doors to my house every night. I don’t lock my doors because I hate the people outside my house. I lock them because I love the people inside my house.“

This meme set the hackles up on the back of my neck, and I couldn’t quite say why. But here’s an analysis from one Frank GT (no, I don’t know who he is, this is a copy-n-paste) that gets to the heart of why that meme bothers me:

"I can’t sit back and say nothing as more and more people share this. I’m beginning to believe that the problem is more intellectual than ideological. When you can’t form a simple analogy, or identify an analogy that simply doesn’t work, you’re not a racist. You’re an idiot.

For this analogy to work, you’d have to add that Syrian refugees also live in a house, but their house is on fire. They’re trapped and they have nowhere to go. If they want to escape, they need to run through the fire, or jump out the window. They need to bring their children with them too. So they risk it. Some get killed, some get burned, some get lucky. They escape the house. They can see your house in the distance. Your house is perfectly safe, far from the fire, but it’s at the top of a steep hill, too steep for some. The journey is long and hard, but they risk it. Some die of dehydration, some starve to death, but some get lucky. They arrive at your porch. They take one look back at the inferno they left behind, then they breathe a sigh of relief. There’s a knock at your door. You look through the window. You see them, and they see you. They’re hungry, broken, desperate. They have nothing to give, as they’ve lost everything. You take a look at your family. They’re cuddled under a blanket on the couch. They’re safe and warm, their bellies are full. You look back out the window. You lock eyes with one of the refugees. You open your window. The refugees smile. They think they’ve made it. The infamous house on top of the hill. You proceed to flip them off and tell them to go back where they came from. They’re shocked. You close the window, and rejoin your family on the couch. You feel good about yourself. You shouldn’t, because that is the very definition of mean and heartless.

That’s how an analogy works.”
~ Frank GT

Lie Detection

Bear with me, guys. This is going to be a rather long post- and even with its length, I still won’t be able to cover the whole concept of detecting lies.

To become a human lie detector, you have to incorporate a lot of things. Eye movements and body language are the biggest factors in determining whether or not a person is trying to deceive you. You have to be really observant, so it’s no wonder that only 1 out of 300 people naturally possess the incredible ability to sniff out lies.

So, let’s start with body language. Before you can tell the difference between a person being honest and a person being deceitful, you have to get to know the person.  Watch out of your peripheral vision as the person is talking. You may notice a few quirks, things that people do when they’re nervous or excited. For example, someone might bite his nails when he is about to tell a lie. Someone might get sweaty and jittery as she is thinking about running away from the situation. Figure out if the person is open to talking to you, or if they are closed off and cold.

“Open” body language includes moving closer, leaning forward, and relaxing their arms at their sides. If someone is being open towards you talking to them, they “feel” open. On the other hand, “closed” body language includes crossing their arms, keeping their distance, and fiddling with keys or a loose thread on their clothes. If people could put up actual shields when they didn’t want to talk to someone, they would. Since we can’t do that, however, our instincts compensate by telling us to shield ourselves with our arms and keep a safe distance away from threats.

Stressed body language also indicates that a person isn’t comfortable talking to you. Stressed body language includes irregular breathing, a wrinkled forehead, twitchiness, and flushing.  Blood pressure increases when we lie. Pulse rate quickens. If you can find a reasonable explanation for holding someone’s wrist, you could check their pulse. If not, blushing is a result of elevated blood pressure and therefore makes a good replacement for awkward pulse-checking. Body temperature changes (both too hot and too cold) are signs of deception, so if someone needs a glass of water, asks if the air conditioning is on, or needs to put on their jacket, you know something is up.

People also tend to “hunch in” when they’re lying because they want to blend in with the crowd. If someone is trying to make themselves look smaller and less obvious, trying to fit in with the background, that’s a sign they’ve got something to hide.

Right, then. Eye movements. Everyone’s heard the “If they can’t look you in the eyes, they’re lying” rule of thumb before. Yeah, that one’s pretty much a myth. Since everyone’s heard it, dishonest people will purposely look directly into your eyes so that they seem more honest. In my experience, honest people are more likely to glance away and let their eyes wander a bit. That’s probably because they’re not too worried about being assessed for lies, so they’re allowing themselves to be curious and carefree.

When people lie, they get excited. This leads to rapid eye movements such as frequent blinking. Squinting is also a form of deception. When faced with an interrogator, some people feel as if staring directly into their eyes will open up the window to their soul and therefore allow the interrogator access to their deepest secrets. To counteract that, they squint, thinking it’ll close off the “window.”

Now, this next part is simply a generalized guideline. It is by no means the rulebook for every liar. Use this only as a basis to start with, and tailor what you know to the individual for the best results. Let’s say you asked someone a question. “What did you see that day?” The man looks to his left (your right, if you’re facing him) and then answers, “I didn’t see much. Just barely caught a glance of the girl.” Looking to his left is an indication of lying- generally. This means that the man really did see something important, but he doesn’t want to tell you. Looking to his left means he was trying to create a false image in his mind. Looking to his right, on the other hand, would have meant he was accessing a real memory, something he really saw that day. This method also applies to things the man could’ve heard and things the man could’ve felt.

Remember what I just said about tailoring to the individual. Before you jump straight into the questions, establish the baseline. Ask the questions you know the true answers to. “What date were you born?” “How old are you?” “What is your mother’s maiden name?” “Which high school did you attend?” Since you know the answers, watch their eye movements as they answer. When they answered honestly, where did their eyes look? To the left, or to the right? If they lied at all, which way did they look?

Now, for the difference between visual, auditory, and kinesthetic. Looking up indicates visual. Looking to the middle indicates auditory. Looking down indicates kinesthetic. If a woman looks down and to her left, she could be trying to remember how she felt when an event happened. Or, if her baseline works the other way, she could be trying to construct how she SHOULD have felt when the event occurred.  The same goes for auditory. If a woman looks to the middle left, she could be trying to remember what she heard last week, or she could be thinking of what she wants to tell the interrogator she heard last week. One side indicates an honest memory; the other side indicates a constructed memory. Make sure to ask the right questions so you can establish a good baseline. It wouldn’t do for you to think someone’s lying just because you got middle left mixed up with upward right or something like that.

I leave you all with this: Combine all the tips here into one package. Don’t work using only eye movements or only body language. That way leads to disaster.

The Othello Error

Othello error occurs when a suspicious observer discounts cues of truthfulness. Essentially the Othello error occurs, Paul Ekman states, “when the lie catcher fails to consider that a truthful person who is under stress may appear to be lying" their non-verbal signals expressing their worry at the possibility of being disbelieved. A lie-detector may be deceived in the same way, by misinterpreting nervous signals from a truthful person.”


You know, I just remembered – it’s still rumored that Naomasa has a quirk that makes him a human lie detector, right?

Now, knowing that lying is basically part of humans – even white lies are basically just that, lies, even when it’s for a good purpose – I can only imagine how many times Naomasa’s supposed lie-detecting quirk has reacted to people around him. Let’s say he really has that quirk – can he control it? Can he turn it on and off at will, or does it react to every last lie that he hears, whether he wants it to or not?  

Because if he can’t, that would be one hell of a stressful quirk. Especially in his job. Every time a villain lies during an interrogation, or one of his colleagues tries to talk his way out of something, Naomasa would notice. I imagine it like a feeling or a sound, deep inside himself, responding to the lie itself. That would be like a constant barrage from his own quirk. How annoying would that be?

And then I remembered that Toshinori claimed right at the beginning of the manga that he “doesn’t lie, he just keeps some things close to heart”.

And quite honestly – apart from some stammering, spitting blood and frantically looking for a way out of a conversation, I can’t really remember hearing him flat out lie to someone.

Neither did Izuku.

Those two pure dorks are so honest, they just cannot lie without feeling like they have done something terribly wrong.

(Well apart from when they say that they are okay even if they aren’t, but I think that’s a whole other story.)

Now, imagine how utterly calming that must be for Naomasa. Suddenly there is someone who doesn’t lie – who tries to talk his way out of things by withholding bits and pieces of information, yes, but not with lying. That would be like taking a break from the constant barrage, a moment to take a deep, calming breath. It would be a relief.

I always imagined Naomasa to be the calmer and more level-headed one out of the two men, but now I think that Toshinori with his no-lies-allowed-rule would be like an island of calm for Naomasa. And I think that’s beautiful. A really symbiotic friendship

By extension, Izuku is much the same for Naomasa, and he instantly takes a liking to the boy.

(Honestly, I just picture all of Toshinori’s old friends – Naomasa, Gran Torino, Recovery Girl – to be fiercely protective over Izuku, okay.)

The point is to talk to your target about “cool ways to spot liars!” which are completely fake, but plausible. Tell them that liars look over a person’s left shoulder, or that they tend to stand with their feet together. Make it seem convincing. 

Now in the same way that you become more aware of your food choices (shortly) after watching a television special on nutrition, that person will be on the lookout for those signs. This means that when you tell your lie, say the next day, they will be on the lookout for all the wrong things. An added bonus is that they will likely not suspect the person that told them the tricks to be lying. 


Five Steps To The Truth: The BASIC Interview Method: Ask Open-Ended Questions

Step #2: Ask Open-Ended Questions

If observing the baseline wasn’t enough and to even get this far, it’s because you have a hunch that someone you’re talking may be acting dishonestly, and you need to know more. When you’re baselining, you’re not digging for information about a specific incident; you’re just getting a feel for how someone looks and sounds on a regular basis under relaxed, normal circumstances. Your questions don’t have to have any particular structure, they just need to be sincere and to elicit a genuine, natural response. The second BASIC step, however, requires a little more strategy.

Obviously, simply asking, “You aren’t really interested in me, are you? You just want access to what I have” may not get you a truthful answer. If your friend is in fact practicing some kind of subterfuge, he will simply answer “No.” This will cut off further communication and limit your opportunity to liespot. So you need to prepare open-ended questions that encourage discussion and information sharing.

What Exactly Is an Open-Ended Question?

Let’s start by looking at a closed question. A closed question is one that can be answered with a brief “yes” or “no.” It doesn’t encourage the person with whom you’re speaking to offer any more information than you’ve demanded. If that person is leaning toward dishonesty, a closed question slams the door on your chances of learning more. Here are examples of closed questions:

“Have you been visiting some hot springs?”
“Did you take the exam?”
“Are you sure you’re done with your assignments?”

Imagine what a different you might get if, instead, you asked:

“How was the experience of hot springs in Tagaytay?”
“What subjects did you have an exam on?”
“What assignments were you able to finish?”

You can ask open or closed questions when you’re baselining; it doesn’t matter. When your suspicion is aroused, though, the kind of question you ask matters quiet a bit. Open-Ended questions encourage people to give you an expanded reply and they also allow you to keep what you know to yourself.

There are four goals to keep in mind when you ask open-ended questions

1. Establish what you know and what you want to know.
2. Develop rapport.
3. Elicit a response.
4. Tell the right story.

Establish What You Know, and What You Want to Know. Before you start asking any questions, you should line up as many facts about the specific incident you’re investigating as possible. You should determine clearly what information you want to find out now, and what you can wait to learn later. Make a list of the evidence you need for the particular event you want to investigate. Think through what is relevant, fact-based evidence and what might be hearsay.

Develop Rapport. It is not secret that the less threatening, judgmental, and suspicious you are, the more likely someone will be to open up to you. As you begin your interview, you can build rapport through standard “active listening.” Active listening doesn’t necessarily mean you agree with your companion, but it demonstrates your investment in and understanding of what’s being communicated. 

Elicit an Observable Response. Approach your subject casually as possible in comfortable, private, and calm environment that’s free from distraction. Whether he’s guilty or innocent, he won’t want to feel like a bug under a microscope. The less intimidating you are, the faster you’ll get the information you want. 

Tell the Right Story. Every liar has a rationalization—a story he tells himself so that he can live with his lie. Rationalizing helps liars explain why they shouldn’t be judged harshly for stealing, lying to their friends, or even cheating to their partners. 

Be sure to take into consideration the subject’s “blame pattern"—the ways he typically places blame for wrongful actions. Understanding blame patters is critical to the process of fine-tuning your story preparation. Does he tend to blame himself or others? Is he likely to blame a victim ("She was asking for it”) or does he see himself as the victim (“I was set up”)? How a subject absorbs or rejects a blame will shape the way you try to help him tell his story.

Propose Stories. Trained investigators will gently suggest story after story, for as long as twenty or thirty minutes, until they hit on the right one. Truthful subjects will reject every story, no matter how plausible you make each suggestion sound. If you are nonjudgmental and compassionate, however, many guilty people will jump at the chance to commiserate with someone who understands what drove them to do something they probably never thought themselves capable of doing. Remember that most liars want to tell you the truth. Make it as easy as possible for them.

Jealousy Is Such A Pretty Color On You.

Prompt: The reader is jealous of Henley and smut ensues with Daniel!

Pairing: Daniel x Reader

Warning: Fingering, smut, curse words.

Word Count: 1.4k

Keep reading

when Josh plans a prank to murder/scare his friends yet he’s the one that ends up dying

Another Timeline to Consider if you are feeling down about the lack of Fitzsimmons...

Okay this is all @jessiecrimefighter who brought this to my attention.  While the Season has been going for months the last few episodes only took place over a few days!  


This was a busy day!   

  • Jemma looked at the Love Nest in the morning, got up to bad girl shenanigans with Daisy in the afternoon, and tangled with James after dinner.
  • Fitz was at Radcliffe’s all day with May.
  • Coulson and Jemma showed up that night to take them all home.  
  • Jemma said she had her lie detection the next day. 

Originally posted by stydiaislove

That brings us to 4x05  the next day

  • Fitz left to go on the mission to the prison after they fought that morning in the lab.. 
  • Prison went down in the afternoon.
  • As did Jemma’s lie detector

Originally posted by elivent

4x06 seems to be the next day as most everyone has a fresh set of clothes.

  • Fitz was still on the Zephyr with that mission crew searching for where Lucy had taken Eli/what they were up too.
  • Jemma was kidnapped at the start of that morning too. before Mace headed out to join the Zephyr team.
  • Fitz, Coulson and Robbie disappeared that afternoon

Originally posted by idecaesteckers

4x07 picked RIGHT up were 6 left off, no time had passed.

  • Fitz was gone Jemma was gone.  
  • That whole episode took place within a few hours.  
  • Both getting back by the end.

Originally posted by agentlukaofshield

4x08 again was a matter of hours after, they had to work fast to stop Eli

  • Like the other episodes 4x08 took place over the plan of a day at most.
  • The episode Nathansen going to pick up Radcliffe’s stuff and AIDA while everyone else was bonding at the base.

Originally posted by sssssssim

4x09 next morning tops.  Everyone has changed but they are still in clean up mode.

  • Mace and Quake are on the front page of the paper
  • Fitz is sent off with Radcliffe to get AIDA
  • Jemma heads off with Mace
  • Again everything taking place in a matter of hours. 

Originally posted by aosladies

Originally posted by daisyiris

So while it has been MONTHS for us it has been 3-4 days TOPS for them.  and considering how little time passed between 4-9 and what all has been going on Fitzsimmons haven’t had a chance to even really talk about everything yet.  

Going into 10 we have a new day and a chance for them to actually touch base with one another for longer than a few hours.  


Pamela Meyer: How to spot a liar

On any given day we’re lied to from 10 to 200 times, and the clues to detect those lie can be subtle and counter-intuitive. Pamela Meyer, author of Liespotting, shows the manners and “hotspots” used by those trained to recognize deception – and she argues honesty is a value worth preserving.

Understanding the face and for what to look

When a human “feels” an emotion, it appears, to them, to come from within. Fear turns the stomach, makes the heart race, the skin perspire, and the mouth dry. Happiness provides a warmth of comfort, and sadness causes shakes. These are all very primal and visceral experiences any animal develops for survival, and we rely on our emotions to live our everyday lives.

The truth is, these experiences are subjective, and while the body reacts impulsively and reflexively to these “feelings,” they are only of the mind. When a human “feels” an emotion, the truth is they’re feeling certain muscles tense up in very specific ways. The face doesn’t express an emotion after it’s felt, no, it expresses it as the emotion is experienced. Think about a gunshot - the sound itself startles the body into instinctively reacting a certain way (for survival), and as the experience happens “to” us, we make sense of it as an emotion, “surprise/fear.”

This theory is prime for understanding how the face works. If you think about a sensitive topic, you’ll express how you feel about that topic as you think on it. When you notice the feeling in your face, you either choose to manipulate it or express it honestly. If you say it aloud, the people who then themselves think on it will express how they feel about it the moment the thought enters their minds. Why they feel that way is generally because of past experiences, or projected future expectations.

If we were pure honest beings, we’d spend all day making very binary expressions; we’d drop our jaws every time we were surprised, we’d run in fear every time something intimidated us. The fact of the matter is we spend an enormous amount of effort keeping these feelings in check, and that process requires a person to reflect rationally on their feelings directly after experiencing them. This process is the process of manipulating the way we use our faces, and it happens in only three ways:

  • Modulation
  • Qualification and
  • Falsification.

Modulation is the act of showing an emotion at a strength it’s not truly felt, be it stronger or weaker. We’ve all modulated up happiness when we compliment our friends, even though at some (lesser) level we really do feel what we’re saying, and we’ve all modulated down sadness at some point, especially at times of major disappointment.

Qualification is a very specific type of emotional manipulation, it’s when an emotion is felt as a direct result of a different emotional experience. When we say something we don’t mean (or something we mean not to say), sometimes we change our minds and feel something different, typically on behalf of someone else. This is not a false feeling, but it’s a feeling that “qualifies” the original honest response, like an embarrassed smile after jumping in fear during a horror movie.

Falsification happens most often when we manipulate our faces, and it is the act of expressing an emotion that is not honestly felt. This particular type of facial deceit is what we will be most concerned with, as being able to see the truth while a face is falsifying is difficult but still possible with rigorous study. We falsify with three different strategies:

  • Simulation
  • Neutralization and
  • Masking.

Simulation is fairly simple to understand, it’s the act of expressing any amount of emotion when no emotion is felt. Most people are only practiced in simulating happiness, anger, surprise and disgust, and most people leave out crucial signs of any emotion which are easy to spot (we’ve all heard to look out for wrinkles around the eyes when someone smiles, more on that to come).

Neutralization is also fairly straight forward, and most of us refer to good neutralizers as “having great poker faces.” 

Masking is one of the most difficult forms of manipulation both to perform well and to see though - masking is when a person expresses an emotion that is not felt in order to conceal the emotion that is truly felt. Understanding when a mask is being put on is a hugely helpful skill that we’ll touch on later.

Now I know that seems like a lot of different types of lies we tell with our faces, and I haven’t even gotten to micro-expressions, which isn’t a type of facial manipulation at all - it’s the exact opposite, a momentary instance of pure emotion that flashes across the face in less than 1/15 of a second, and sometimes only happens in a very small area of the face. Noticing the occurrences of these twitches is the first step to identifying leaking emotion, so pay close attention to rapid movements. 

Lastly, there are three main areas of the face, the eyebrows, the eyes, and the mouth/nose area. Most of us look to the eyes as being the “window to the soul,” but the truth is all areas of the face work together during an honest expression, and they work against each other when they’re being manipulated. We have an incredibly difficult time controlling the entire face when we’re falsifying, and knowing when and where to expect an action in these areas is vital to your assessment when lie detecting. 

The entries on each honest emotion’s role in the face starts with happiness, found here. <-

How to detect a lie...

1. BODY LANGUAGE. This is of course the most obvious one, but that does not always help you, as you sometimes do not see a person.
2. VOICE. This will help you especially when you talk over the phone. People take breaks, sometimes even stutter or repeat themselves more often when they lie.
There are two kinds of liars:
a) Those that had no time to invent their lie and those that lie about facts: Both are easily to detect as they do not use any truths to hide them. They are often used with no ill will. Just try to get more information about what they say and you will be able to recognize holes.
b) Those that had the time (usually written lies that have not strict time limit) or are used to lieing. Most often they use many truths to hide a lie, or many lies supported by few truths. (If they use the same amount of truths as lies, it is very likely that they have a personality disorder or actually belong in the first category (->a)).)
The second one happens very seldom and if you were to detect someone, who uses this tactic often you can assume they lack the remorse the average person has.
To figure them out is a bit more complicated.
First look at the ones that are most likely to be true and the one that are the least likely to be true first. Most people will not speak a bold lie if they do not have to, however as this does not work with everyone as some lie just for the thrill and the attention and again lack the empathy you need for remorse, do not make it your most valuable argument. Second, look at the whole picture. A person is made out of many truths, some which can not always be hidden. Use what you know and try to find what does not fit into the picture.

Someone telly you they spoke a bit French, Slovak and Indonesian and were learning Russian. If this person were to say they understood Hungarian and Czech, you will know Hungarian is a lie.
Indonesian is the most unlikely. But is possible and to bold to be used as a lie by most.
Slovak and Czech are similar so that is logical. Russian would not have been mentioned seperately if it was not true. This leaves with french and hungarian. As french is something many learn in school and Hungarian is a seldomly taught and complicated language, that has only few similarities with slovak, russian or french.
Therefore you can conclude this is the most likely lie.

Now, if everything fails and you are sure there is a lie, just try to think what lie would provide the person the most benefit. Very few people use a lie to their own disadvantage.
Venus in Leo

Dramatic, Generous, Loyal

There’s no denying that Venus in Leo women have a grandiose aura. These women are striking in appearance and are very aware of this. They’re the type to wake up hours early before an event just to get ready. They pride themselves in their looks. Although some can dress extravagantly!

Generous and loyal are keywords to this Venus’ relationships. Leo has a golden heart. Although they can be dramatic and bossy in relationships, if you can put up with this Lioness’ attitude, you will be rewarded with a loyal partner who will stand by you, spoil you and love you endlessly.

Venus in Leo has very high standards. They know they’re special. The key to winning this Drama Queens heart is to be honest and devoted. Venus in Leo’s love honesty, so tell them how you feel about them and don’t forget the compliments! They’re suckers for compliments, but make sure the compliment is sincere, they can detect a lie from a mile away. If you’re lucky enough to win her heart, be fully devoted to her. Don’t take your eyes off her, this can make her angry and you do not want to hear her roar. This sign is not afraid to make a scene in public.

Glamorous with a love powerful enough to heal a broken heart, Venus in Leo’s are true Queens. They make great lovers and especially great friends. That is if you can handle her feisty fire.