lidded form

Kissing The Clouds


Word Count:
1.6k

Genre: Smut


(gif credit)


  Jimin climbed up ten flights of stairs to the small apartment he shared with you. By the time he reached the door, a new layer of sweat was covering the already dried one on his body. He was in desperate need of a shower after the hours he spent practicing the dance he was preparing with Hoseok’s help. The dance company he set his mind to work at had rejected his auditions two times already and he was determined to get a yes this time. That’s why his muscles were aching and his body was covered in hours’ worth of sweat at this very moment, but he didn’t care as long as all his hard work went into achieving his dream.  

Jimin took his shoes off by the door and was about to head for the bathroom when he heard music wafting from your room accompanied by your off-tune singing. He chuckled to himself and decided to pay you visit before showering, thinking that this would be a perfect opportunity to embarrass and tease you. And if he was being extra honest with himself, he might admit that this was also an opportunity to talk to you and get you to notice him.

Ever since he had put up that flyer saying he was looking for a roommate after he had had enough of his asshole old roommate and his hobo lifestyle, and you showed up asking if he was still looking for one, he had spent every day trying to find a way to get you to like him.

You were friendly enough, sure, and there was no awkwardness between the two of you the way new roommates are timid around each other, but he had the biggest crush on you since freshmen year and now you were both seniors and living together but he still couldn’t muster enough courage to ask you out. So he settled for the few lucky days when you would be too lazy to go out with your friends and decide stay in and watch a movie with him.

The closer he got to your room the more your shrill voice pierced into his eardrum. A scathing remark about your singing was already on the tip of his tongue but when he got to your door, which was wide open, his voice seemed to have been sucked out of his body.

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7

“You’re down by one vote.” / “I…I count myself up by one.” / “No, you lost a Republican.” / “Who?” / “Chuck Hodges.” / “The war hero? No. No, he’ll never vote for torture.” / “No, he had to leave. He’s not there.” / “Wait, what? What happened?” / “I don’t know.”

BrainDead 1.07: I Knew He was Trouble the Minute I Walked In

Calcite canopic jar; lid in the form of a human head; three columns of
incised Hieroglyphic text on the body including the cartouche of Queen
Mutnodjmet.

She was the Great Royal Wife of Horemheb, the last Pharaoh of the 18th Dynasty, and is thought by some to have been the sister of Nefertiti. She died in her mid 40s, and was buried in her husband’s unused tomb near Memphis.

With her was the mummy of a stillborn, premature infant, meaning it’s highly likely she died in childbirth. Analysis of her mummy showed she’d supposedly given birth several times, but Horemheb had no children at the time of his death.

He was succeeded by his vizier, who would be known as Ramesses I.

Source

Kinktober #5: Humiliation

Back to some very gentle NSFW, 2nd year KageHina


The ride home from a tournament game is always quiet. The bus has some kind of soporific effect on the already exhausted Karasuno team, and almost nobody stays awake past the ten minute mark. Tanaka and Noya usually bet to see who can hold out longer, but they’re almost inevitably the first two to knock out cold, heads bumping against each other.

Kageyama’s usually right behind them, not least because he’ll take any chance he can get to fall the fuck asleep at the first available opportunity. But today, he’s wide awake, in no small part thanks to his usual seatmate.

Today, he has his head tipped back against the seats and he could be sleeping, but that would be next to impossible, with Hinata pressed up against his side, whispering into his ear. Across the aisle from them, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi are sound asleep, and Tsukishima (thank god) has his headphones on, tinny music drifting from them. Kageyama thinks he’d probably die if the blonde bastard woke up and saw what was happening.

“You were so—incredible—” Hinata breathes, so softly even Kageyama can barely hear him. His words are interspersed with kisses, lips fluttering, pressing lightly against Kageyama’s ear, his cheek, the curve of his jaw. “Your serves—that last set—you were so, so good…

Kageyama squirms in his seat. He’s been together with Hinata for about a year, now, almost by accident, since they both found out their first year Hinata liked getting his ass smacked by Kageyama just a little more than expected. Nothing about their relationship has slowed down from there, so it’s not that he doesn’t like when Hinata does this—actually, he really, really likes it—it’s just that they don’t ever do it when there are other people around. But something about the last game seems to have destroyed what little restraint Hinata has.

“Kageyama…” Hinata whispers in his ear, before he—fuck—he bites, teeth grazing along Kageyama’s earlobe. “Can I stay over tonight?”

Kageyama’s breath all leaves him in a woosh, because he knows what it means when Hinata asks him that question and his voice sounds like that. He can sense he’s being watched, and after a moment, he gives a quick nod.

But if the thought the prospect of more, later, would have deterred Hinata from whatever he’s doing now, he just really should have known better.

Instead of being satisfied with more, later, instead of settling back into his seat and maybe getting some sleep like the rest of the team, Hinata slides his fingers through Kageyama’s, lifting Kageyama’s hand to his mouth so he can kiss each of his knuckles, soft, pink lips brushing over them one by one, slowly, tenderly. His eyes dart up, wide and amber, staring at Kageyama unabashedly, like he’s drinking in the sight of him. Kageyama stares back, and swallows hard, and his breath comes short.

When other people look at him, they see a genius setter, a volleyball idiot, the king of the court. Hinata looks at him and sees all of these things, and so much more.

And Kageyama has a very hard time hanging on in the face of that.

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Breakfast Scenes

gift for: @kingedmundactually

A/N: Merry Christmas - I really hope you like it!

rating: K+ (it’s literally pure fluff)

word count: 1,559

-

“I just don’t understand why those two can’t work things out!” Sirius slammed his glass of pumpkin juice onto the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall and let himself fall on the bench next to Remus. It was a Wednesday morning, two months after the new - and their last - school year had begun. The October had been golden and sunny, but November had greeted them with rain and storms so far. The ceiling of the Great Hall showed no sign that the weather would improve anytime soon - grey clouds covered the sky, and a light drizzle fell down onto the castle.

“Is it bad that I don’t even have to ask who you’re talking about?” Marlene grabbed an orange and started peeling it. She had given up on peeling spells over a year ago, after an unfortunate incident during her Charms O.W.L that involved a pear and a ministry examination official with a very long beard.

Sirius huffed. “I doubt that anyone in this school would have to ask. It’s pathetic, really - how much more oblivious can you get?” His agitated mood didn’t stop him from filling his plate with a double serving of French toast.

“That prefect meeting yesterday must have been a real gem. Lily came back all flustered, and she didn’t even attempt to do any homework afterwards.” Alice grinned and shot the others a meaningful look while taking another sip of her tea.

“Was it really?” Sirius looked at Remus questioningly, who sighed.

“Sixteen prefects were third-wheeling, basically. But it’s also almost scary how well they work together. We got through the meeting in under an hour, and I don’t think that’s ever happened before.”

“Look, there they are.” Marlene nodded towards the big doors at the back of the hall, through which the Head students were approaching the Gryffindor table for breakfast, seemingly engaging in friendly conversation. Even though they were smiling and laughing, they still emitted authority - and not just because of the Head student badges that shimmered on their cloaks. Lily carried a light blush on her face that she never seemed to get rid of these days, and James was smiling so broadly that his face looked like it would split in half any second.

Sirius scrunched up his face in distaste. “How do they not see it? It’s literally so obvious, I’m sure even the teachers have bets running on them.”

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After watching “Big Bad Sneezy”, I realized that the other 6D hadn’t really managed to cheered Sneezy up like they planned they would. This got me wondering if Sneezy still regretted his sneezing trait?

So I made a fanfic to continue the story.

(WARNING: Emotional feelings ahead & slight spoilers.)

Enjoy!

~~~~~~

“….So, do you think it’s even fixable?”

The trip back home had not been too long for the 7D. In fact with all the extra excitement in outsmarting the Big Bad Wolf the journey back only seemed half as long as before. However, as they rounded the corner out of the woods and into the outskirts of Jollywood, already an obvious  problem had arisen among the group.

“Of course Sneezy can fix the house Grumpy! He did it back in Pig Sties, didn’t he? We’ll have our house back in no time!”

A grunt in reply was all Grumpy gave to Happy’s blissful attitude. He really was not in the mood to be fixing houses, let alone ones that needed more then just a fresh coat of paint.

No, the 7D cottage (or what was left of it) could only be identified as being mangled pieces of timber, twisted metal and smashed shards of glass and pottery strewn into large heaps on the hill they called ‘home’. It could even have been mistaken for a dump if you didn’t look close enough.

“Well, the sooner it’s fixed, the sooner I can lock myself away from your none stop jabbering!” growled Grumpy in annoyance as he poked the happy dwarf intimidatingly.

“Now fellas, let’s not start quarreling” announced Doc, as he casually separated the two. “Now is not the time. We should get started on the work at hand before it gets too dark to see anything.”

He was right. The sun was already starting to make it way towards the far horizon. In less then an hour, the sun would disappeared over the hills, ending the day.

“Okay, fine!  Let’s get this over with. HEY, Sneeze Man! Could you please start putting that nose of yours to good use?”

When no reply was given however, it only seem to shorten Grumpy’s already thin patience. Upon turning around, he was surprise to find that not only was Sneezy missing, but so was the remainder of the 7D group. They had lost the others.

“Oh for the love of CHEESE…”

~

A few minutes earlier, the four younger 7D had been trailing behind Grumpy. Each one of them was chatting happily about the elaborate trick they had pulled on the nasty jerk of a Wolf.

All except one, that is.

The walk home had been a mix of both anxiety and sadness for poor Sneezy. After the adrenal of defeating the Big Bad Wolf had began to died down, an uneasy feeling had started to settled in the pit of his stomach.

With a small inaudible sigh, he sluggishly followed his friends back home; only half listening to their repeated chatter. This feeling was not new to the little dwarf. In the passed few day especially, it had actually been quiet frequent.

How could he have been so blind? Did he not see how his sneezes were effecting people while he had been working for Huff & Puff INC.? No matter what he did, his nose always had a way of coursing more unwanted trouble to his friends, family and everyone in general.

He began slowing his walking pace down from the other 7D. He hoped the distances would help clear the guilt that had seemed to broil its way up in his chest from the last few hours. However, It gave little to no comfort in doing so, just like all the other times before.

“Hey guys! Look we’re almost home!” Bashful’s timid voice brought Sneezy back into the present as they neared the turn out of the woods toward Jollywood. Looking at his friends from behind, he could already tell that Sleepy was starting to pipe up at the idea of getting home.

‘Probably can’t wait to go back to sleep’ thought Sneezy with a small smile. His drowsy friend always had a way of finding the fun in sleeping and dreaming all day. Perhaps a good nights rest is all he needed as well.

That thought however, was violently grounded to a halt as he laid eyes on said ‘house.’

He had forgotten about his ‘accident’ with cottage, but the guilt he had felt earlier was nothing compared to how he felt now. There was nothing left of their home. The home that in his eyes had symbolically united them all together was now just a pile of rubble. Broken and destroyed.

…and all by his hand.

The longer he looked at it, the tighter the pressured knot in his chest seemed to become. An ice cold numbness washed over him. His legs felt like they could giving way at any moment.

It was almost to much to handle.

With a sharp turn, he blindly run away from the destruction he had coursed, unable to look upon the faces of his family and the disapproval that was sure to follow.

That is, until he smacked and bounced straight off someone in his path, which forced him to gaze up at the face of none other then a very startled Dopey.

~

Bumping into Sneezy suddenly was a bit of a shock to Dopey. He had been distracted by a rather beautiful butterfly when the older dwarf stumble into him forcefully.

At first, Dopey feared he had coursed jury to his rather allergic friend. However, it only took a couple of seconds more to figure out that was not the case. With a concerned whistle Dopey extended a helping hand out to his fallen friend. In return, this some how just seemed to make the situation worse.

Staring at Dopey outstretched arm, his body began to tremble ever so slightly.

“Hey! Is everything OK? What happened?” The approaching drone voice of Sleepy reminded them both of the others now close by.

“Is everyone-Oh Winkers! Sneezy, are you OK?!” he gasped in surprise.

“Oh no!! Did you hurt yourself?! squeaked Bashful from behind. “N-No. I’m fine guys. R-Really! I was just…j-just trying to….umm-m…” Every word came out croaky and forced. He had to keep it together.

Sleepy frowned at this. “Come on Sneeze man. I know somethings bothering you. Please tell us what wrong?” “I-It’s nothing r-really.. it’s…it’s-!”

“HA! There they are Grumpy! I told you they couldn’t have gone far! And it looks like they’re playing a game! This is so much Whoopty Doopty Schmoodily FUN!” The figures of both Happy, Doc and Grumpy advanced towards the small group hovering over a rather pale looking Sneezy.

“It’s about time we found you guys! I thought we were going to fix the house, NOT play games of hide-and-seek!”

At the mention of the house, Sneezy looked away and squeezed his eyes shut. He had been dreading this moment for most of the journey back. He had course so much trouble and the destroyed cottage was the icing on the cake. Whatever was his punishment, he deserves it.

Doc began to chuckle like he always did. “Hehe. Come on fellas! Let’s all go home! The sooner it’s fixed, the sooner we can all sit down for a nice hot meal together.”

It wasn’t until they started moving, that they all realized Sneezy had made no effort to move from his curled up spot on the ground.

Doc paused. “Sneezy? Aren’t you going to come with us?” Everyone turned. Waiting for a reply. Wide frightened eyes starred back up at them. Barely visible tears had swelled up; threatening to flow down his cheeks. The next words that were spoken from Sneezy were small; almost a whisper even, but were nothing the others ever expected to hear.

“….y-you…still w-want me?”

“…WHAT! Of course we want YOU! Why of all things would you think that we would NOT want you?!” Grumpy bellowed. “Yeah Sneezy! Why would you ever think that??“ The six had already surround the poor dwarf, confused and shocked at their friend’s downcast feelings towards himself. I didn’t seem to make any sense to them?!

“I-I-I j-just thought…y-you k-know…I…I j-just don’t d-deserve…” Sneezy averted his eye as his voice cracked.

Slowly, he felt a gentle hand slid under his chin and lift it to meet the eyes of none other then his best friend Sleepy. All of them knew that although Sleepy was always the most tired and drowsy out of the group, he had a gift of being able to observe others better then anyone else.

His steady half lidded gaze slowly formed into one of realization and warm understanding. Sneezy quietly let out a gasp! He knew.

“You are not a burden Sneezy. You never have been, and you never will be….”

It was all to much.

Before he could stop, hot tears had already began streaming down his face while chocked sobs escaped his throat. Latching onto Sleepy, he wept bitterly into the shoulder of his friends pajamas.

Sleepy quietly hushed his distort friend, rubbing small circles on his back soothingly. It didn’t take long before the once painful built up of guilt; fizzled up into almost nothing. With his last bit of energy spent, he drifted into a welcoming peaceful dreamless sleep.

~

It wasn’t until much later that Sneezy awoke again feeling refreshed and a little groggy. However, when he tried to get up, he found that he couldn’t.

Puzzled by this, Sneezy scanned his surroundings. It was dark and he was lying outside under the stars. He must have been asleep for a few hours judging by the star formation. This however was not what caught his attention the most.

Opening his eyes more he realized with surprise that the rest of the 7D had also falling fast asleep, laid curled up all around him in the form of a group hug. Sneezy was confused by this, until the events of earlier came flooding back to him.

They had stayed with him. They had not abandoned him or sent him away. His family stayed with him and they loved him. ALL of him. A wide smile grew on his face. He really did have the best family any dwarf like him could possibly ask for.

Before, he would have been ashamed of the fact his sneezes could accidentally affect the people he’s supposed to protect. Now however, he now knew that his family excepted that, but still loved him for who he was. Plus, the accidents his sneezes course were only a small portion compared to the good it had accomplished. Touching the tip of his nose, he felt something he had not felt in a long time. Pride.

Tomorrow he would help rebuild the 7D cottage with the others. But in the mean time, he felt content as he drifted back to sleep in the arms of his brothers embrace, knowing that he was safe under their watchful protection.

~Fin.~

OH MY FUCKING GOD

okay so you guys know how i love tacky bullshit, right? well i saw this thing at the dollar store:

and of course i had to get it, because, fucking look at it.

except

EXCEPT

THAT LID FORMS A PERFECT FUCKING AIRTIGHT SEAL

THIS CHEAP PIECE OF SHIT IS AIR FUCKING TIGHT IN WAYS MY MORE EXPENSIVE WATER BOTTLES WOULD ENVY

WHICH MEANS THAT IF YOU TRY TO ACTUALLY DRINK ANYTHING OUT OF IT, IT FORMS A FUCKING PRESSURE DIFFERENTIAL OR A VACUUM OR WHATEVER THE FUCK. I DON’T KNOW I’M NOT A PHYSICIST I AM JUST A HELPLESS CONSUMER WHO WANTS TO DRINK SOME GODDAMN ROOT BEER IN PEACE

BUT INSTEAD THIS HAPPENS:

it nearly ejaculated root beer all over my laptop how did this happen what kind of crazy drink lid science did they use. i am going to poke a hole in it with a safety pin and hope for the best but as you can see i have been deeply scarred by this incident.

anonymous asked:

Dark soundlessly prowls toward you, the dim lighting making shadows ripple hypnotically across his bare chest. His mouth slips into a predatory half smirk, just a hint of fang protruding from his full upper lip as he pads closer to your frozen form. Half-lidded eyes seem to glow as they roam across your body drinking in the sight as if it was a masterpiece displayed in the Louvre. "Oh you do like to tease, hmm?" he raspily purrs deep within his throat, rapidly closing the distance between you.

THIS SOUNDS LIKE KENZI’S DARK

THIS ALSO SOUNDS LIKE HE’S GOING TO EAT ME IN A BAD WAY