lick my lolly

✦  (   ROB   ZOMBIE’S   31   SENTENCE   PROMPTS.

triggers apply such as; death, murder, blood, cursing, etc.  feel free to change any pronouns as needed!

  • ❝  You know what they say, kemosabe, in Hell, everybody loves popcorn.   ❞
  • ❝   I ain’t no fucking clown.   ❞
  • ❝   I’m gonna teach you something. I’m not gonna let anyone hurt you.   ❞
  • ❝   There’s only four things you need to know about this career.   ❞
  • ❝   Smoke in times of rest is a great companion to the solitary soldier.  ❞
  • ❝   You know who said that? Do you know who said that?  ❞
  • ❝   Do you really think I give a fuck?  ❞
  • ❝   I always thought I’d appear rather pretentious with a pipe.  ❞
  • ❝   I say we hunt these freaks down and slit their fucking throats.  ❞
  • ❝   I’m not crazy; I’m in control!  ❞
  • ❝   Now, you may think you see a grease-painted performer sitting before you.  ❞
  • ❝   I’m not here to brighten your dismal day; I am here to end your miserable life.  ❞
  • ❝   You know, all in all, you’ve had a pretty good run.  ❞
  • ❝   You must’ve known it all had to end somewhere - might as well be now.  ❞
  • ❝   You diggin’ what you see, pops?  ❞
  • ❝   Count yourselves lucky you got fucked by the best!  ❞
  • ❝   What exactly is the protocol if we have a survivor?  ❞
  • ❝   I mean no disrespect, but was not the question.  ❞
  • ❝   See you later, Popeye! I’m gonna go get me some spinach.  ❞
  • ❝   I bid you welcome, oh nameless and numbered ones!   ❞
  • ❝   What is 31, pray tell? Well, 31 is war and, as the old saying goes, war is Hell!  ❞
  • ❝   In exactly one hundred and twenty seconds, we shall begin.  ❞
  • ❝   All you have to do is survive twelve hours.  ❞
  • ❝   I should apologize in advance for not sharpening this thing.  ❞
  • ❝   What I do? Unfortunately for you, I do real well!  ❞
  • ❝   I am certainly not here to elicit an amused response.  ❞
  • ❝   Murder school is now in session.  ❞
  • ❝   Victorious warriors win first than go to war.  ❞
  • ❝   While defeated warriors, they go to war first than seek to win. Which are you?  ❞
  • ❝   I am here to end your miserable fucking life.  ❞
  • ❝   Let’s get one thing straight. I ain’t no fucking clown.  ❞
  • ❝   Might as well be here. Might as well be now. And it might as well be with me.  ❞
  • ❝   I’m sending you straight to the fucking pearly gates with a first class ticket.  ❞
  • ❝   I came to get down and dirty. Oh yeah.  ❞
  • ❝   As the old saying goes, war is Hell!  ❞
  • ❝   Smell that? I think they’re already pissing in their pants.  ❞
  • ❝   So that means you killed half a man.  ❞
  • ❝   Look what the fucking cat dragged in!  ❞
  • ❝   Even the mice know how to get out of the maze, motherfuckers!  ❞
  • ❝   I don’t wanna be here! They make me be here!  ❞
  • ❝   You and me, we’re the same! We’re the same!  ❞
  • ❝    What the fuck is going on? Do you see anything?  ❞
  • ❝   This is crazy, sitting here and waiting to be attacked.  ❞
  • ❝   Death has come to sing it’s quite song, run and hide for it won’t be long!  ❞
  • ❝   I’m so flattered you remember me.  ❞
  • ❝   Is it hunting time now?  ❞
  • ❝   Don’t worry, ______.  It’s always somebody’s fault.  ❞
  • ❝   I guess I should really put you out of your misery.  ❞
  • ❝   Wanna lick of my lolly?  ❞
Periods

UGHHHHH" I said from the bathroom.

“You okay in there baby” J said from the bedroom. “For fuck sake I’m on my fucking period” I spat while inserting a tampon in. “At least your not pregnant” J said chuckling at his remark. “At least your not bleeding from your penis” I said walking out the bathroom slumped over crashing onto the bed next to him. “Aww is my baby a little triggered?” He said. “J I will not hesitate to slit your throat” I said looking up. “Now quit staring at me and kiss me already” I said pulling myself up to his level and kissing him. “Ah ah ah don’t want us to start anything” he said. “Nah nah you might want stay away from my lower abdomen babe” I said blushing and running to the kitchen. “Where are you going?!” He shouted from the bedroom. “Chocolate” I said not hesitating to get myself to the kitchen.

2 days later… “

"Umm baby are you still on your period” J said walking into the room a slight shade of pink whilst I sat on the bed licking a lolly pop and reading my phone. “Yea” I said as he came over and slouched onto the bed. I continued to lick my lolly pop. “Arggggggg” he screamed into the pillow making it muffled. “What now” I said sighing. “YOU you” he said shouting at me. “Yea what about me?” I said licking the lolly pop. “Your killing me y/n” he said sighing and turning into his back. I grinned and continued sucking my lolly. “Can we just fuck already?” He said turning into his side. “3 more days” I said shaking my head. “But I’m so horny” he said putting a pillow over his large bulge. “Yea and Im bleeding unless you want to see a crime scene I recommend your stay far away” I said chuckling. “I’ve seen enough crime scenes” he said kissing my hip leaving a hicky, I just smirked and payed no attention. After seeing how unamused I was he started squeezing my breast and kissing my neck. “Ugh just leave me alone already” I said storming out the room.

3 days later

After a long 5 days of screaming, crying, laughing, hornyness and blood, I was finally of my period I decided to break the good news to J. “Baby?” I said seeing him sitting on the bed looking at his phone. “Yea honey” he said looking at me standing in the bathroom hallway. “IM OFF MY PERIOD!!!!” I screamed. “Oh come hereeee” he said growling as I jumped on top of him attacking him with kisses I was finally releaved.

rimmedlou  asked:

hey gurrl. lemme ask you, what are your fave one shot underage!louis fics? :)

Oh buddy lol. Strap in love :)

Tell Me How Good I Feel

Why Should You Belong To Him

Sweet Dreams

Build God Then We’ll Talk

A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More “Touch Me”

Best Night Ever

Assumptions

Not Enough 

Lick My Lolli, Suck It Down

Best Friends Do Everything Together 

I Want To Break These Walls 

Call Me Daddy, I’ll Call You Mine

Just What The Doctor Ordered

Anything Else Daddy? (Is it rude to rec mine?)

Okay that’s about half of them lol. Enjoy babe xx

Celadon - Willow Green

Summary: Dan lives in a world of black and white, only to be brought to color when one is united with their one soulmate. But Dan found who’s supposed to be his soulmate… two years ago. So why is it that he’s finally seeing all the colors now, when he lays eyes on a boy he doesn’t know?

A/N: A shoutout to holysmokesphan and her wonderful fic Color that you should really read as it has the same exact concept and it’s very very very good.

Genre: Soulmate au, angst, fluff, smut

Warnings: Swearing, suicidal themes, smut in later chapters, representation of homophobia

They call it celadon. The condition I’m in. Everyone learns about it in schools, once you’re old enough to learn about your soulmate, you’re old enough to know about celadon.

“Scandalous.” That’s what they say. “A curse. A sickness.”

I don’t disagree.

The dictionary definition of celadon?

Cel-a-don (n) - 1. the state in which you are an individual’s soulmate, but they, respectively, are not yours.

2. a willow-green color.

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