lick my balls if you don't

anonymous asked:

Morty sure is getting a lot of messages saying you don't care about him.

theyy are riight i don’t care abo ut him…. . i care abou t him beyond fukcing wordss. they cna lick my balls 🖕

Anyone care to explain how I can go from “MY PRECIOUS BB, MY SON WHOM I LOVE AND WILL PROTECT WITH MY LIFE”

….to

“Just fUCK ME RIGHT UP YEP HOLY LAVENDER HELL I’D SELL MY SOUL TO LICK YOUR EYEBROWS”

Originally posted by vgeta

anonymous asked:

Tips on how to give good head? I lick and suck on the tip and rotate my hand around and up and down the shaft but besides that I don't really know what else to do

the magic 8 ball method is your only true friend.

At least its the one I find the funniest when my friends talk to me about their bj experiences. 

let me help you out:

8 shallow, 0 deep
7 shallow, 1 deep
6 shallow, 2 deep
5 shallow, 3 deep
4 shallow, 4 deep
3 shallow, 5 deep
2 shallow, 6 deep
1 shallow, 7 deep
0 shallow, 8 deep

AND you’ve just learned the magic 8 ball method. tell me how it goes?

Akira had been exhausted after the game. He’d dumped his heart into that game and for very little in return. It sucked. So rather than dressing down and heading to his room to lick his wounds like the rest of the team Akira hid in the locker room until the last Fox had left. Still dressed he’d taken his racket and a bucket of balls back onto the court. The janitors had given him the stink eye but Akira easily blocked it out, focusing instead on winging the ball into the goal as accurately as possible. After a while he couldn’t feel the ache in his shoulders. Slowly he worked his way back from the goal until he was at the half court mark. He didn’t know how long he’d been working at it but when his arms gave out he knew it.

He’d spent the night sprawled out and half dressed, on the team couch. Too tired and worn out to pick up the balls off the court, let alone himself. It wasn’t until a…disgruntled Wymack woke him up the next morning that Akira felt the least bit okay with pulling his sorry butt off the couch. And he ached. He’d catch hell from Wymack and Abby once they found the state he’d left himself and the court in. For now? All he wanted to do was sleep. Ignoring his care altogether he walked back to Fox tower where he promptly slept the rest of the day. 

He’d had little no intentions of going to the Vixen’s party that evening. Not in the mood to deal with the roller coaster that was a party. He didn’t even have a costume. He’d meant to pick one up but it had never happened. Too busy with school and exy for it to rank too highly on Akira’s priority list. But bored out of his mind as he was Akira was finding less and less reasons to lie there and not go. And the threat of pissing off Vivian loomed over him too. If rumors were to be believed crossing her was not advised. Pulling himself out of bed and throwing open his closet Akira considered his options and finally settled on going as himself…sort of.

He arrived at the Vixen den fashionably late and walked in like he lived there. He smiled at the first person he saw and nodded. “If you’re a good friend you should hand me Coke and not laugh at me when I ask you to open it for me.” He was pretty sure he could hold onto the can for a long period of time by his hip, but he wasn’t so sure about getting his fingers to move nimbly enough to pop the tab. “What do you say? You down?”

anonymous asked:

"I don't even have to have my ball licked to make scientific and magical things happen!" *laughs* "...HOW ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH DOOFUS RICK? TELL ME!" (gem-rick)

This is Doc.
Back in time.
And I’m never gonna say how I did it to the likes of
you, because I’m so much better.
And my balls keep saying “You’re jealous.”
My family jewels ain’t gonna follow your rules.
Come at me without any of your fancy tools.
Let’s go, just me and you.
Let’s go, just one on two. 

Nyotalia name meanings
  • Felicia (N. Italy): Lucky, fortunate, happy
  • Chiara (S. Italy): Bright, famous
  • Monika (Germany): Advisor
  • Sakura (Japan): Cherry blossom
  • Maria (Prussia): Star of the sea
  • Amelia (America): Industrious, striving
  • Madeline (Canada): woman from Magdala
  • Alice (England): Noble, exalted
  • Marianne (France): Star of the sea, grace
  • Anya (Russia): Resurrection, God has favoured me
  • Chun-Yan (China): Spring swallow