license-to-kill

you could curse a police officer out, kick their car, throw a temper tantrum and throw trash. and that still doesnt mean they get to kill you. what the fuck is wrong with yall? why do you think police get some special license to kill when they get disrespected?

if they cant do their job without murdering unarmed people, they dont deserve their badge, or anyones respect.

6 reasons you should consider being a cat:
- free food
- free rent
- sleep as long as you want to
- look great with no effort
- toes look like beans
- license to kill

[Miraculous Ladybug]: Never Make Deals with Mermaids

a.k.a. Gabie’s Obligatory Mermaid/Pirate AU feat. Adrienette!

inspired bc i wanted a mermaid au where mermaids were badass, bloodthirsty, and had a certified license to kill. it was supposed to be a one-shot, but let’s ignore that bit for now.

i know that there are a million and one pirate/mermaid au’s but i’d appreciate some likes/reblogs/comments if you happen to read on! :) at the rate this is going, this is gonna be a beast of a fic. 

Link to Archive of Our Own: [AO3]

Title: Never Make Deals with Mermaids

Summary: The only reason Adrien came up with such an elaborate trap for a mermaid was to sell her on the market, rake in some gold, and get a new ship to help him carry out some business. Simple as that.

The plan wasn’t for this mermaid to attack his crew, hold him at sword point, and steal his maps for some ridiculous mission involving magical stones, egomaniacal pirates, and a plot to stop the end of the world.

This beautifully dangerous creature was certainly going to be the end of him.


Chapter 1: Capturing a Mermaid


“Adrien, let me be the first to say that I still think this is a ridiculously stupid idea.”

Adrien pulled the flask out of his coat and pulled the cork out with his teeth. “Aw, come on, Nino. Where’s your sense of adventure?”

“My sense of adventure is perfectly intact, thank you very much,” Nino frowned. “So is my sense of self preservation. This is a suicide mission, you idiot!”

“It’s only a suicide mission if I screw it up. And for your information, I’ve thought this out meticulously. It’ll work. Besides, I know you’re secretly hoping that we pull this off. You know how much we need the money.”

Nino sighed as Adrien shed his captain’s hat and his coat and draped them in Nino’s arms. “There are other ways to fund a journey to the Eastern Seas, you know. It doesn’t have to include chasing after a fairytale.”

“It’s not a fairytale,” Adrien insisted, unbuttoning his shirt and throwing it over Nino’s head. “I’ve done my research. Went to a library and everything.”

“Yeah! You did research! Based on the drunken ramblings of past sailors! That hardly counts. You’re putting your life on the line for this.“

“You worry too much, buddy. I’ve got this under control.” Adrien turned around to the rest of his crew and held up the knife he kept strapped to his thigh. “Alright gentlemen, listen up! There are rumors of mermaids in this part of the sea, so we’ve got one chance to do this right.” He pointed the knife at Kim. “Are the nets ready?”

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