Dream job moment: today, for work, I spent an entire morning in the library archives looking at the oldest copies of Goldsmiths Students’ Union publications. The Goldsmithian goes back as far as the opening of the college in 1905, Smith(s) has issues dating back to the 20′s and 30′s. The history of radical student-led publishing at Goldsmiths is really cool, proud to be a part of it : - )
How do you talk to my therapist about hElping you? I'm not even sure how she's suppose to "help" me. Everytime I go we just sit there and tell her what happened since I saw her last. I don't think it's helping me and it's wasting her time so how do I approach my therapist about it?
Hi baby 💝 You’ve been sooo patient, so thank you. I think it’s really important that you are able to identify and acknowledge when a resource is no longer serving its purpose, so good on you darling.
Signs that it’s time to change therapists:
• You feel judged or shamed. • You feel uncomfortable. • You feel a lack of connection. • You feel a lack of progress. • A lack of boundaries. • You’re compromising your beliefs. • Your therapist is consistantly late to appointments and / or cancelling. • Your therapist talks mainly about themselves and / or gets distracted consistantly. • Your therapist takes sides. • Your therapist uses victim-blaming and / or other offensive language.
It has been 12 years since I personally began therapy; I have been to 7 different therapists in this time, and only recently found a therapist that actually worked for me. I never knew how comfortable I could be and how much progress I could actually make in therapy before I met her. I’m sharing this because I think it’s important to remember that finding a good therapist can take some time. Just don’t give up !!!
Be as brutally honest as possible about your experiences and feelings. This can be tough to do on the spot or if you disagree with something your therapist says. Fear of judgement is often something that makes me hesitate to open up about an issue I have- but being direct about it will strengthen the relationship, contribute to recovery and make you feel better.
Put in work outside of therapy. Reflect on what you’ve talked about. Consider checking out self help books from the library, keep a private journal, try new coping techniques, do some creative exercises, research relevant topics to expand your knowledge, start a free workbook, etc.
Be curious. Ask any question that comes to mind during your session. Don’t censor yourself.
If you come up with any questions outside of therapy, don’t be afraid to write them down and bring them up in your next session.
Set your appointments for times that work for you, and try to show up a little bit early so you can unwind before your session. I personally get anxious when waiting so I practice deep breathing in the waiting room. Try to forget the clock during your session.
Keep your health related resources in a safe place such as a binder or folder. I can’t stress it enough how much this has helped me outside of therapy.
Important things to remember:
• You don’t have to share everything with every therapist unless you are comfortable to. • Sometimes things can get worse before they get better. • Therapy is no quick fix. • A therapist cannot “save” anyone, but they will help bring light to your own wisdom and your ability to recover. • Attending therapy does not make you weak or flawed. It is nothing to be ashamed of. • Not every session will feel like a breakthrough. • Therapy is a service for you. This is about you, for you.
always be the best person you can be. be kind even when you’re tired. be understanding even when you’re angry. do more than you’re asked, and don’t ask for anything in return. don’t silently expect anything either. listen when someone talks, and really listen too, stop just thinking of how you’ll reply. tell people that you love them and that you appreciate them. go out of your way to do things for people. be the greatest person you can possibly be and when you mess up, make ap for it in the next moment or minute or day. One thing you should never do? Never spend your time trying to prove to anybody that you’re great, your actions will speak for themselves and we only have limited time on this earth, don’t waste it.