“Fun with Flags” - Pride Style

If you’ve ever been to an LGBTQQIA+ PRIDE event, you have doubtless observed a rainbow flag fluttering in the breeze. But is the rainbow the only symbolic flag for LGBTQQIA+ people? Absolutely not, there are a few others that stand for many sexual identities. This is my attempt to outline some of the most popular.

‘Fun with Flags’ - the Traditional Rainbow Flag of the Gay Pride Movement
The rainbow flag most closely aligned with the gay community (at large) was originally designed by Gilbert Baker in 1978, and contained 8 stripes. Over time this has evolved into the standard 6-stripe primary color version that is most popular, and seen world-wide. This is, obviously, the most recognizable symbol of LGBT pride. 

Did you know, that the colors mean something? Of course they do! In the original 8 stripe version, Baker assigned specific meaning to each color, which includes (6 stripe version in bold); 
     Hot Pink; Sexuality
     Red; Life
     Orange; Healing
     Yellow; Sunlight
     Green; Nature

     Turquoise; Magic/Art
     Indigo/Blue; Serenity-Harmony
     Violet; Spirit

Individual Sexualities also have their own flags/colors too!!

In 1998, Michael Page designed the Bisexual Pride Flag, (below) to represent bisexuals as a distinct sexuality. He designed the flag to represent the interests of the bisexual community, specifically, their sexual attraction to both genders. He stated that the Pink part represents same-sex attraction, the blue represents opposite-sex attraction, and the purple is the overlap/combo of the two colors, representing the attraction to both genders. 

There is a Pansexual Pride Flag, (below) but it is not attributable to a single source for design. Instead, it has simply arrived in the pride movement since mid-2010 online. The colors, again, mean; pink - those who identify with the female spectrum; blue - those who identify with the male spectrum; and yellow - those who identify with non-binary gender expression (e.g. androgyny, agender, bigender, genderfluid, trans*, etc.).

Asexual (below) people have also developed a flag to represent themselves at Pride events, and anywhere they would like to have a visual representation. The Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) is responsible for the design, and was generated in 2010 - a relative newcomer to the field. 

…. Now, you may be wondering - what about Trans* people? What about GenderQueer, etc? Well, I purposefully did not discuss those identities in this post, because they are not sexual attraction identities, but rather gender identities, which is an entirely different component to a person’s make up. However, keep checking - maybe that will be in a future post! 

So, did I miss any? Let me know! 

Transgender sexytime story call-out!

So I have an idea for a book you guys.
As we all know there is not a lot written on sex with trans folks. Logistically is usually tired Q&As about “your trans partner’s dysphoria is not your fault/use the terms they use for body parts..” and anecdotally is usually in response to questions like “is this normal?”

So I wanna compile a bunch of sex stories by trans folks involving figuring out what worked for you: upsetting times where you couldn’t get off, changes to the types of sex you enjoyed before/after HRT, great stories of understanding partners…and so on.

Essentially I wanna have anecdotal stories that add up to something that could help out cis partners, and aid other trans and gender non-conforming folks in understanding that it isn’t our fault if sex gets complicated.

Here’s the kicker though: I’m trying to shove this in a last minute proposal to a mini publishing company by the 17th. So throw your stories at me if you want!
you can email em to

(I’m trying to figure out compensation for your stories as well, this whole project shot up in a conversation last night so bear with me, & don’t hesitate to give me an estimate of what you think is fair for submitting.)

Thanks everyone!


Reteaching Gender & Sexuality

Reteaching Gender & Sexuality is a message about queer youth action and resilience. The video was generated to contribute additional queer/trans youth voices to the national conversations about queer/trans youth lives. Reteaching Gender & Sexuality intends to steer the conversation beyond the symptom of bullying, to consider systemic issues and deeper beliefs about gender and sexuality that impact queer youth. We invite you to share the video with your friends, family and networks; we invite you to share with us what THIS issue means to you!

For more info go to

"I'm Asexual" (reactions)

Oh… What’s wrong with you?

Why? You’re so attractive and smart! You can have anyone you want!

What is that? What the fuck even is that!?

So, you’re a virgin…?

Oh, get off your high horse!

What? I’m not good enough for you?!

You’ll never be in a healthy relationship.

I’m sure I can fix that!

That’s all I can think of. Feel free to add, if you have any.

Queer kids.

Who’s going to protect the queer children, when they’re always ignored or told they don’t exist? I find it very disturbing when people say, “he/she/zie is too young to know…” because we all know we only become intuned with our bodies after 18 *rolls eyes*

I wish I could tell all parents to love their children. And to NOT ignore their queer ones, don’t ignore the little hints. I am not a parent, but I am a queer activist and mentor to many young queers. I know for a fact that parents are way too quick to ignore/ neglect the needs of their queer kids (queer being an umbrella term for all in the LGBTQQIA). Ignoring the needs is a form of abuse that leads to further trauma, e.g. Self hate. Where do you think internalized homophobia comes from?

I think that any movement needs allies.
If it’s just minorities fighting for something they will be silenced by the majority, but if you have allies who are a part of the majority they have that support.

I hate posts that are all about how we don’t need allies, yes we do. We need the power that they have.
However, I hate allies who make everything about themselves. You’re here to support us and help us, not to be the loudest voice amongst those who need to group up to be heard. Stand behind us and be our support, stand beside us and strengthen our wall, and stand in front of us and defend us, but do not blot us out. We need allies, but we don’t need people who are only our allies because they think they are one of us.

And just an fyi, the A doesn’t stand for ally.

How To Make Love to a Trans Person

How To Make Love to a Trans Person

by Gabe Moses


Forget the images you’ve learned to attach

To words like cock and clit,

Chest and breasts.

Break those words open

Like a paramedic cracking ribs

To pump blood through a failing heart.

Push your hands inside.

Get them messy.

Scratch new definitions on the bones.


Get rid of the old words altogether.

Make up new words.

Call it a click or a ditto.

Call it the sound he makes

When you brush your hand against it through his jeans,

When you can hear his heart knocking on the back of his teeth

And every cell in his body is breathing.

Make the arch of her back a language

Name the hollows of each of her vertebrae

When they catch pools of sweat

Like rainwater in a row of paper cups

Align your teeth with this alphabet of her spine

So every word is weighted with the salt of her.


When you peel layers of clothing from his skin

Do not act as though you are changing dressings on a trauma patient

Even though it’s highly likely that you are.

Do not ask if she’s “had the surgery.”

Do not tell him that the needlepoint bruises on his thighs look like they hurt

If you are being offered a body

That has already been laid upon an altar of surgical steel

A sacrifice to whatever gods govern bodies

That come with some assembly required

Whatever you do,

Do not say that the carefully sculpted landscape

Bordered by rocky ridges of scar tissue

Looks almost natural.


If she offers you breastbone

Aching to carve soft fruit from its branches

Though there may be more tissue in the lining of her bra

Than the flesh that rises to meet it

Let her ripen in your hands.

Imagine if she’d lost those swells to cancer,


A car accident instead of an accident of genetics

Would you think of her as less a woman then?

Then think of her as no less one now.


If he offers you a thumb-sized sprout of muscle

Reaching toward you when you kiss him

Like it wants to go deep enough inside you

To scratch his name on the bottom of your heart

Hold it as if it can-

In your hand, in your mouth

Inside the nest of your pelvic bones.

Though his skin may hardly do more than brush yours,

You will feel him deeper than you think.


Realize that bodies are only a fraction of who we are

They’re just oddly-shaped vessels for hearts

And honestly, they can barely contain us

We strain at their seams with every breath we take

We are all pulse and sweat,

Tissue and nerve ending

We are programmed to grope and fumble until we get it right.

Bodies have been learning each other forever.

It’s what bodies do.

They are grab bags of parts

And half the fun is figuring out

All the different ways we can fit them together;

All the different uses for hipbones and hands,

Tongues and teeth;

All the ways to car-crash our bodies beautiful.

But we could never forget how to use our hearts

Even if we tried.

That’s the important part.

Don’t worry about the bodies.

They’ve got this.
homophobia pops up in the most unexpected of places. this is not okay.

at my old high school, there is a competition called “mr fullerton”, which is basically a mockery of run-of-the-mill beauty pageants. it’s a pretty great event, but last night, the assistant principal turned a fun annual pageant into a fight against homophobia. a beautiful student stood in front of hundreds of people, and, when asked, “where do you see yourself in ten years?” he said that he hopes to find the love of his life and legally be able to marry him. the assistant principal DISQUALIFIED him for the most beautiful answer i’ve ever heard. this is the assistant principal that claims to be against homophobia, but then says there’s nothing he can do about gay kids being bullied because he didn’t see it firsthand. now he’s totally crossed the line.

please spread the word. i want this to become a big, public ordeal. i want Mr. Abell to understand that homophobia is absolutely not okay in any circumstances, especially in front of a large crowd of people.

Tyler Clementi post


(Please keep my tumblr anonymous if you choose to post my response– I’m actually forbidden to talk about this case as a member of University Res Life staff. I can talk as an individual, but if I talk as a RA, my job is on the line.)

I am actually a RA where the Tyler Clementi incident took place. It understandably shook up a lot of our 200+ Res Life staff members. However, what the media fails to point out is that everything was done by the books, all protocol was followed, and the media has actually created more hazards for our students on campus. They have stalked LGBTQQIA students on campus, camped out outside of buildings in centralized locations on campus,  and made students feel uncomfortable by their constant presence for the past 1.5 years. As a member of both the Res Life and LGBTQQIA communities on campus, I can tell you 100% that this was one fluke occurrence. Rutgers is an AMAZING, supportive community, and I can’t put in to words how wonderful the University is. In fact, as an extremely out RA, I was asked to help plan a day of LGBTQQIA training for Res Life following the Tyler Clementi incident. It was actually being put together before everything took place. RU thrives to support its diverse student population, and I have never found a place as welcoming. If nothing else, the whole incident has made RU even stronger and more supportive of its LGBTQQIA students.

While the Tyler Clementi incident was unfortunate, heart-breaking, and really chilling to me as an out RA, everything was done by the books. I’m honored to work at RU, and to have such a wonderful, supportive community no matter what area of university life I turn to.

Sorry this has turned into a ramble. I just wanted to share my perspective. 

–Submitted by anon