THIS IS IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTANDING THIS COMIC: this is part of a serious autobio series I started months back to document my gender transition. These took place months ago, during the early days, when I was very visibly trans. I’d only been on hormones for 5 months.
June 26th, 2016.
I had a hard time seeing myself as a real woman due to internalized transphobia toward myself, I was deeply uncomfortable with my body image when I wasn’t yet close to passing. It’s still something I struggle with from time to time, though not nearly as often. It can difficult to acknowledge internalized transphobia but it’s a real thing. I’m not perfect, I have hangups and baggage.
This is the last day to buy for the Transgender Law Center!
Tonight at midnight, we’re closing our button fundraiser for the Transgender Law Center and moving on to our next fundraiser! Find out more information at Hyena Underground and watch our ticker go up throughout the day as we sell buttons!
(Note that we also have an extensive line of pronoun buttons available!)
Everything and anything in our shop qualifies for the fundraiser! Including the items not related to trans pride! For every button sold, 20% goes to the Transgender Law Center.
It’s important to remember that whether it’s pansexuality or asexuality or something completely different no matter who, the fact that the
show will actually talk about it and allow a character to come out by saying it is incredible and is extremely important to someone
Many messages i get on this blog are things like “My family says homophobic things but i’m still in the closet, i don’t know what to do”,
“My best friend uses transphobic slurs but how do i tell her that it hurts me without telling her i am trans? I can’t come out yet”
or other variants of “How to react to lgbt+-phobia when still in the closet?”.
I’ve been planning to write a letter that answers this question for a while now - but to be honest, i postponed it because it’s a difficult situation to be in and there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. There’s not the one golden perfect solution to it.
Instead, i’ll suggest several different possible solutions as you know your own situation and your family member/friend/the person better than i do.
Without further bla bla, here’s the list:
Possible ways to react to lgbt+-phobia when you’re in the closet:
Example: Person says “I would never date a bi girl, they’re cheaters”
Educate neutrally: “Bi means you’re attracted to two or more genders, it has nothing to do with faithfulness”, state a neutral fact that dismantles the lgbt+phobic statement without talking about yourself at all
May work best if: the person is indeed just uneducated about lgbt+ topics (rather than downright hateful), is okay with being proven wrong, is not overly suspicious of why you defend lgbt+ people (in case them finding out you are lgbt+ would put you in danger)
Play the “good straight ally” card: “That’s not true, one of my friends is bi and she would never cheat”, out yourself as a supporter rather than a member of the lgbt+ community
May work best if: the person doesn’t know all your friends/you can easily make up a friend, the person is one of those people who stop being hateful as soon as their victim has a face
Ignore and change the topic: “Talking about cheating, have you seen the movie You’ve got mail? It’s a romantic comedy, Sarah said it’s really cute but i didn’t watch it yet.”, say nothing in response to the lgbt+-phobia and try to steer the conversation to nicer topics
May work best if: they are too deep down in their hateful views for any of the above strategies to work, defending lgbt+ people would put you in danger
Avoid the person: This is less of a instant response but more a long-term solution that can only work in some cases. Break off the friendship (maybe gently and slowly by spending less and less time with the person).
Only works if: you don’t depend on them (sadly this doesn’t work with parents you still live with or co-workers in a job you can’t quit)
May be necessary if: their lgbt+ phobia negatively impacts your mental health
Agree and silently think “F*ck you”: “Yeah, i understand!”, just agree and keep your thoughts to yourself
This is a painful thing to do and can certainly negatively impact your mental health but it may be necessary if: them finding out or even getting suspicious puts you in danger
Do you have any other advice? Feel free to add your thoughts/experiences to this post!