anonymous asked:

What's your stance on how ace/aro people are told by LGBT+ people that they don't belong in the community?

It’s complete bullshit that ace/aro people don’t belong in the LGBT+ community. In our heteronormative society you’re supposed to be sexually active and interested in finding a romantic partner, someone who aren’t interested in those things is a deviant from the norm. In my oppinion the LGBT+ community includes everyone who strays from the heteronormative norm and ace/aro people is therefore completely welcome in the community. 

This whole thing of not accepting people because they’re not “queer” enough is ridiculous. What’s up with this inner fighting when the community is all about providing comfort, spreading love and dealing with the hate we’re already experiencing? Just get on with the acceptance and the world will catch on eventually!

An Open Letter to My Mother, who Voted for Donald Trump

Dear Mom,

       You are clearly in distress, which hurts me to see. I love you.  I will always love you.  I will not deny you my affection or access to your grandchildren. I want you in my life, and in my children’s lives. However, my sister is also in distress, and so am I. Deeply.  You told my class that you are honest with the women in your group, that you talk bluntly with them, and that they respect you for that honesty.  In order for us both to heal, I must explain how I feel, how hurt I am by your actions.  

       You were the first person I ever loved.  I idolized you as a child, and I felt that love reflected back at me.  You told me that I could do anything, be anything.  You found the strength of will to leave behind the church you were raised in because it preached close-minded beliefs that were harmful to your self-esteem and your children’s self-esteem.  When I came to you about my attraction to women, when I brought home Wendy, you defended me to your family.  You insisted that Wendy and I be treated equally, and you did the same for my sister and Dana, and you are doing the same now for Alex.    You champion women who have been abused and neglected their entire lives – women in your group, women in AA – you stand up and speak out when they are mistreated.  

           All these wonderful things you have done, that you do, on a daily basis, makes it all the more impossible to understand how you could vote for a ticket that betrays all the causes you believe in, that betrays both of your daughters, your daughter-in-law, and two of your three grandsons.  I know betrayal is a strong word, but I am explaining how I feel, how I know my sister feels.  None of us (and here I mean my sister, Dana, Martin, and myself) can reconcile the day-to-day love and strong activism you exhibit in your life with the choice you made.  My sister said that she didn’t recognize her mother, and I understand that statement. It almost seems like a split personality.  

           Think of it, mother.  If a woman in your group, or one of your AA sponsees, came to you and said that a man had tweeted about her weight, had publicly shamed her, had bullied her, had called her ugly in public, had grabbed her in a sexual manner against her will – you would be outraged.  If that man were local, a police officer or judge or doctor, you would want him punished for such behavior.  Yet, Donald Trump has done all of these things, and you voted for him – gave him the power to decide all manner of issues concerning women’s lives – lives that he doesn’t value.  I feel betrayed as a woman, unable to understand why the woman who raised me to be a strong woman, to never let a man push me around, the woman who has been abused by more than one man, who sees the effects of domestic violence, who has studied, on a Master’s level, how insidious sexism is in our culture, could possibly betray herself in that way.  

           But much more concerning is the fact that since the Republican congress held the Supreme Court nomination hostage for a year, this ticket will have control over who the swing vote is in future cases that reach the highest court in our land – cases that will directly impact the future of Dana, Thursday, Escher, and Alex.  Pence has already stated that he would support a constitutional amendment to make it legal to discriminate against LGBT people based on religious belief.  As a governor, he has a horrible record in the way he treats LGBT people. You voted for a man who believes Thursday and Dana are deviants, that they should not be married, that they should even receive ‘re-education’ therapy to ‘fix’ them.  He would love to see their family dismantled, Escher placed in the custody of some lovely, heterosexual, god-fearing family.  And Alex?  I can’t even imagine what he would want to do to my beautiful baby boy.  

One of the cases that will be coming to the Supreme Court, and SOON, is bathroom rights for transgender people.  The nominee, and likely the deciding vote, will surely be against people like Alex.  Imagine Alex at 15-16 years old, on puberty blockers, perhaps taking testosterone shots.  He would present physically as a young man. He would be so proud that his outsides matched how he felt inside.  Now imagine the law that says he must use the women’s room.  Do you know that 90% of transgender people have been assaulted in bathrooms?  If Alex would go into the women’s room, he would be seen as a predator, a threat, a peeping Tom.  Women would scream at him, call him names, perhaps hit, kick, or mace him, call the police on him.  All of these things have happened, and continue to happen to transgender people. What do you think Alex would do to avoid this shame?  Would he hold his bladder for unnaturally long times?  Develop bladder and urinary tract infections?  Would he try and try to hold his bladder until he couldn’t, then drive home, covered in his own urine?  How can you look my child in the face when you voted for someone, a whole group of people, who HATE him?  When I spoke to Dad, he said that both he and you would lay your lives down for Alex, that you would never let anyone hurt him.  And I believe that, 100%, in our day-to-day lives.  However, you voted a ticket into office that believes he is less, that he isn’t entitled to the basic human right of being able to use a public restroom.  If the Trump-Pence ticket had said they believed people should go back to race segregated restrooms, you would have been outraged.  But they won’t allow Alex the right to a public restroom.

Mom, you had nothing at stake in this election.   Your life would not have changed in any appreciable way if Clinton had been elected.  You would not have ended up with higher taxes, you would not have had a change to your health insurance.  But Alex? My sister, Dana, Escher?  Their future freedoms were put at risk, not just in the hopefully short-lived four years of this presidency, but for likely fifteen to twenty years, or longer, as this new Supreme Court justice whittles away at their rights in the highest court in the land.  

You said the other day that my sister’s decision to not talk to you was “stupid.” I don’t think it was stupid.  Mom, she feels like you care more about Republican policies that don’t affect you at all than standing up for and championing her rights – and I understand that.  I don’t get your decision.  I can’t reconcile the way you fight for women, the way you fight for Alex, with your decision.  You told me, more than once, that you would cut Grandma Becky and all that side of the family out of your life if they didn’t accept your children or your grandchildren, if they didn’t treat us equally.  Don’t you understand that is exactly what my sister has done?  She has acted out of fear and anger that your vote, her mother’s vote, rejected her rights as a woman, as a lesbian, as a married lesbian, and as a lesbian mother.  She said that you posted something on Facebook about being disappointed in the National Association of Social Workers for their denouncement of Trump. Mom, they denounced Trump and his ticket because all that social work stands for is the opposite of Trump, which brings us back to the utter confusion I feel whenever I think about this.

I have cried every day since the election.  I’m not sleeping well, I’m terrified for my child’s future, I’ve developed a bacterial infection that my doctor bluntly told me was due to stress, and my last blood pressure measurement was 160/90.  I am distraught.  I feel on the verge of a nervous breakdown, honestly.  None of this is your fault, and I am not blaming you. However, I am sharing so that you know just how seriously this has impacted me and my family.  

I thought you would want to understand, or try to understand.  Maybe understanding is impossible.  I don’t understand the way you voted.  I don’t understand how you could put immigration policies or healthcare policies in front of the human rights of your daughter and grandchild.  I don’t think that is what you think you did.  I don’t believe that was your intention.  But that is a consequence of your action.  There is no denying that Alex’s safety (which as a trans child was always precarious due to the high incidence of violence against trans people, and the extremely high rate of suicide among trans people) is substantially less in a republican dominated, LGBT hostile government.  

If you want to know why or try to understand why my sister did what she did, that is some insight.  I love you. I will always love you – you taught me that.  When I told you that I liked girls, when we were sitting on the flowered sofa in the front room, folding socks, when I was fifteen years old, you told me that you loved me, that it didn’t matter.  And I’m telling you now, that even though I’m hurt, even though I’m scared, that will never make me love you less.  I just needed to open this dialogue because all these thoughts and feelings have been bottled up inside of me, making me sick, and I didn’t want to have this conversation face to face because I was afraid you would think I was attacking you, but I’m not.  Lack of understanding your motives and thoughts will never make me hate you, because I don’t believe for an instant that you had hate in your heart.  I know you love me, and that you love Alex.  

I do want you to know, though, that I will be protesting Trump’s inauguration, and I am taking Dante with me to Washington, D.C., in January to be part of the Million Woman March that will be protesting.  I will be working in any way I can to protect my rights as a woman, and my sister and son’s rights as LGBT people.  I don’t want politics to come between us, so maybe we can make Christmas a no-politics zone?  Maybe we can just watch silly movies and eat good food and be a family who loves each other unconditionally, even if they don’t understand each other.  You say that ‘strong women can survive anything,’ so I must have faith that our family can survive this, and I will work to make sure that it does.  My love for you isn’t dependent upon understanding your voting actions.  It simply is, because love trumps all. 

The first lesbian couple in Japan

Japan has recently registered its first lesbian couple on the registers. It happened in the Shibuya district, in Tokyo, the first place in the country to allow same-sex marriages. 

The protagonists of this story are Hiroko Masuhara and Koyuki Higashi, the first same-sex couple in Japan to have an official certification of their bond. 

The document has been released by the district mayor after the request made by the couple, in order to promote the gay friendliness of the district and positively promote the public image of it. 

The certificate will allow the couple to have some rights finally recognized, as facilitations on rents, familiar insurance policies and hospital visits. 

An important step ahead for a country that’s been claiming for equal rights for gay and lesbian couples for long time and now is getting something back from the authorities and public opinion.
Jamie Shupe becomes first legally non-binary person in the US
Oregon judge granted the 52-year-old’s petition to identify as neither male nor female, a historic decision that completes Shupe’s gender transition
By Lauren Dake

I’m literally sitting on my couch choked up and nearly in tears.

As a nonbinary person I’ve never felt like I had any options to legally be myself.  It got to the point where I didn’t even want to bother with changing my name.  But if this is possible for me, if my ID and passport can one day say ‘nonbinary’ instead of male or female…

In the midst of all my fear and doubt and sadness, maybe there’s still hope for me to be able to be myself.


WWII Gay G.I.s recounts tale of losing their Lovers

Excerpt from the book Coming out under fire The history of gay Men and Women in World War Two: Combat soldiers often responded to each other’s personal losses with the deepest respect and understanding, allowing gay GIs to express openly their grief over the death of boyfriends or lovers. 

Jim Warren’s boyfriend was hit while trying to knock out a machine-gun nest on Saipan. “They brought him back,” Warren recalled, “and he was at the point of death. He was bleeding. He had been hit about three or four times. I stood there and he looked up at me and I looked down at him and he said, ‘Well, Jim, we didn’t make it, did we.’ And tears were just rolling down my cheeks. I don’t know when I’ve ever felt such a lump and such a waste. And he kind of gave me a boyish crooked grin and just said, ‘Well, maybe next time.’ And I said, ‘I’m going to miss you. And I’ll see your mother.’ There were people standing around, maybe seven or eight people standing there, and I was there touching his hand and we were talking. Somebody said later, ‘You were pretty good friends,’ because I had been openly crying and most people don’t do this. I said, ‘Yes, we were quite good friends.’ And nobody ever said anything. I guess as long as I supposedly upheld my end of the bargain, everything was all right.”

Ben Small was even less able to control himself when his boyfriend was killed in the Philippines. But he, too, was surprised by the other men’s compassion towards him. “We had a funny freak attack of a Japanese kamikaze plane,” he recalled, “and I guess he was getting rid of his last load of these baby cutter bomb, these little bombs that explode at about three feet high so if they went off through a tent they exploded at bed level. I had just been in the tent of a guy I had been going with at the time. He crawled into bed, and I said goodnight and walked out the tent. And this plane came overhead and all we heard was explosions and we fell to the ground. When I got up too see if he was all right, the trust of the bomb had gone through his tent and he was not there. I went into a three-day period of hysterics. I was treated with such kindness by the guys that I worked with, who were all totally aware of why I had gone hysterical. It wasn’t because we were bombed. It was because my boyfriend had been killed. And one guy in the tent came up to me and said, ‘Why didn’t you tell me you were gay? You could have talked to me.’ I said, ‘Well, I was afraid to.’ This big straight, macho guy. There was a sort of compassion then.”

After a raid in the Philippines, Ben Small remembered, a lieutenant who had been injured was being shipped back to the States, so the men “all went to the plane to see him off that night. It was an amazingly touching moment, when he and his lover said goodbye, because they embraced and kissed in front of all these straight guys and everyone dealt with it so well. I think it was just this basic thing about separation of someone you cared for, regardless of sex.” Small described this tender parting as “a little distilled moment out of time” when men’s “prejudices were suspended” and gay soldiers “could be a part of what this meant.”

Top 5 Ways to be an LGBTQIA+ Ally Now That “No Gays Allowed” Mike Pence is Trump’s VP pick:

#1: Register and vote

#2: Register and vote


#3: Register and vote


#4: Register and vote

Please share this simple #1-2-3 with anyone who says “voting doesn’t matter”

#5: Register and vote






Vigil for ‪#‎OrlandoShooting‬ victims at the historic Stonewall Inn. #OrlandoStrong #loveislove #pride #LGBTQ
Vietnam passes law protecting rights of transgender people
Vietnam has passed a law which protects the rights of transgender people.

“The landmark law was hailed by LGBT rights activists, and the hope is that next gender reassignment surgery will be available. The surgery is illegal in the communist state, and trans people who want to under go it usually have to travel to Thailand to receive it.

However Tuesday’s legislation will allow those who have undergone gender reassignment surgery to register under the gender appropriate to their gender identity.

With a while to wait, the law will come into effect in the first part of 2017.

The state-controlled website VNExpress, wrote that “individuals who undergo transgender change will have the right to register [their appropriate gender]”.

It went on to say that they would then receive “personal rights in accordance with their new sex”.

The change has been welcomed by LGBT rights activists in the country.

It is seen as the next step towards legalising gender reassignment surgery.”

Read the full piece here

Nope. No way. The biggest Halloween shop in the U.S. is trying to sell a costume that makes fun of transgender celebrity Caitlyn Jenner. Spirit Halloween needs to know trans people are not a costume, and trans people are not a joke.

Caitlyn coming out was a huge deal this year – she gave millions of people a greater understanding of what it’s like to be trans. But prejudice and violence against transgender people are rampant. By selling a “Call Me Caitlyn” costume, Spirit Halloween will be cashing in on this bigotry.

Sign this and tell them it’s got to go:

(And yes, Halloween is fun! But if the model shown here with the costume is any indication, this is not a fun costume for trans people on Halloween night.)