Remember after Henry’s death Barry was too broken to explore a relationship with Iris. Then in 3.04 after he and Iris start dating Barry says this. Mind you this is after Henry’s death. This is after FlashPoint where Barry had to let his parents go all over again.

Iris made him happy. She made him feel whole. She gave him peace. Barry no longer angsted over the past and what he lost. He was finally at a point where look towards the future and be excited about what it held for him and Iris (until that Savitar vision 💀)

It’s not surprising to me Barry completely broke after Iris died. Iris wasn’t just his girlfriend/fiance. She was his best friend. She was his anchor. She was his home. She’s been with him through the worst times of his life. She’s seen him at his lowest.

Barry saw Iris as his happy ending and after she died he gave up. It was too much after losing his mom and dad. I mean look at this. It’s beyond cruel. I don’t blame Barry for not wanting to be the Flash after Iris died. Why would he? Look what it’s cost him.

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When he was younger and feeling particularly stressed or overwhelmed, Barry would recite numbers and equations in his head. Repeat them over and over to give his mind something to focus and center on and it would wind him down. Sad times were musicals, stressed times were retreating into his brain – one that, since the accident, sometimes ran too fast for him to process anything properly, or on a ‘real’ level. But numbers, numbers he could handle.

Life isn’t always fair, but sometimes, enough is enough.

(A cross-world Westallen fic. Chapter 1/?)

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