not to be captain obvious but there’s some weird shit on tumblr…
like the shit on my dash is ABNORMALLY weird today lmao
also……i cannot get rid of my feelings for the guy because he’s 2 perfect and everyone i’ve talked to has had only positive things to say about him and omg how was i so blind for the past year lmao i really went for the wrong person
bless the ridiculous number of cs121 tf’s in my lab sections who are always willing to help me
and i declared CS as my concentration! was it anticlimactic? hell ya
harry lewis literally was like ‘k’ in his response
but now i feel like a legit upperclassmen
i can say i’m a CS student
and i might have a shot at a research position in an AI lab in the spring
esp after slaying that midterm and getting a shoutout from my TF
hi, lol first post but yeah. It’s a bare long story how I got this book no one cares but like I’m gonna share it anyway. I went into Leeds with N and we were gonna get he book so we go to WHSmiths and somehow manage to get the courage to ask if they have it and no they don’t. We then went to Waterstones and looked for so long but no they didn’t have it either. Then N had the bright idea of going to Sainsbury’s and I legit whisper shrieked I can see it! Yeah if you’re struggling to find it go to Sainsbury’s (uk) it’s £9.49 too, which I believe is the cheapest you can get it in stores :) - I😸
Did this in the car down to Ireland on my phone so if there’s spelling mistakes I’m sorry. Still new to this type of writing but I hope you enjoy anyway :)
Word count: 1112
Warnings: Just a bit of angst
This thing with Harry it’s, well, you don’t really know what it is. It’s a strange arrangement the two of you have; sometimes you’ll find yourself in his messy sheets, lips parted to cry out his name, other times you’ll want to wrap your fingers around his throat until he stops shouting. But most of the time you’ll be having fun, like friends should do - without the added extra sex.
It had started out as a one time thing, he was young and stupid and you was just as bad, agreeing to try it once and once only. But it had been so good, you knew exactly how to make Harry squirm, to make him beg for more and come undone with the slightest of touches. And he could make you feel just the same.
The second time was even better, Harry was a little rougher after getting more comfortable with you. He’d bite at your throat, leave love bites across your neck and bruises on your thighs. You’d come so quickly then, arching off the bed and grasping at the sheets, screaming so loud you’re pretty sure the entire apartment block could hear you.
The third time was more for him than anything, sitting underneath his desk and blowing him mid stream, biting back the smirk from your lips. You didn’t have to do much really, the touch of your fingers across his balls and the feeling of your wet tongue against the tip was enough for him to come in just a few minutes. And the small glance down he gave you - a warning look of sorts - was fucking priceless.
Harry got you back though, you should of been expecting this really. It was a celebration dinner with the rest of the sidemen at some fancy restaurant in LA and Harry being the cheeky shit that he is, thought this was the perfect place to get you back. For you it wasn’t though, because even when his hand touched your knee you had to stifle the moan with a unconvincing cough.
Simon raises his brow at you, JJ catches on straight away and throws a smirk your way which just makes it that more embarrassing. His fingers are so cold against your hot skin, dancing underneath your dress and up your thigh, teasing against the waistband of your underwear.
It’s quick work to make you come, Harry barely has to touch you - just the thought of him fingering you underneath the table in front of so many people is more than enough. And the small hint of a smirk across his face tells you he loved it just as much as you did.
Things change, eventually. Not really in a good way, but not in a bad way either. In fact things don’t change between you and Harry, things change with you. It was a few days back, when some girl was a little too close to Harry for your likings and you’d almost stormed over to tell her to fuck off.
But you had to stop yourself when your mind told you Harry wasn’t in fact your boyfriend, even if your heart was deep in denial.
It carries on, you meet up with him for sex, play FIFA with him and go out together, but nothing seems to evolve from that - which is expected really, you agreed that this was just a close friendship type thing. But that doesn’t mean it fucking hurts when he brings home a girl one night, and introduces her as his girlfriend.
She’s sweet, drop dead gorgeous and perfect for Harry - which is what you want, he deserves it - but it’s not you as his girlfriend, you’re just the best friend and that fucking breaks you.
You soon grow apart, it’s expected really, he’s got a new girl in his life that he’s going to give his undivided attention to - and you’re hardly in the position to stop him.
So you find a replacement, it’s cruel sure, because you know how much Simon is into you and using him like this is unforgiving, but you need the love and validation from someone, from anyone.
And it’s not like hes bad at it, he’s shy and let’s you take control so you can tie his wrists together and ride him until he comes. It’s good, but it’s not Harry.
Simon soon catches on though, you wear your heart on your sleeve and almost everyone can see how in love you are with Harry. So he breaks off whatever you had, says how he’s not angry and that he’s sorry it came to this, which probably hurts more really.
And then of course, Harry starts to notice. He’s known you years so it’s hard to hide this from him any longer.
“We need to talk”
He’d caught you one night before you could disappear to your own apartment, the familiar touch of his hand curling around your arm.
“Harry, it’s too late can-”
“You love me, don’t you?”
It catches you off guard. Surely you’d not been that obvious, and the fact the two of you barely saw each other anymore made it easier. Well, you thought it did anyway.
“Harry don’t, not now I’m exhausted”
“Why didn’t you say anything earlier, fuck babe we could of, I mean I-”
Harry trails off, and you’re confused for a brief moment until you manage to put the pieces together and fuck, you’ve never regretted not speaking out as much as this.
“I used to love you, I just thought you didn’t feel the same way, so-”
“You found someone else”
He nods slightly, the glisten of tears in his eyes and you don’t know what hurts more - the fact Harry is crying, or the fact you could of had him, but didn’t take the opportunity.
Is all he manages to say, before his grip around your arm disappears and he turns to leave. The impulse is too strong, it’s the last chance you’ll ever get so it’s hard not to push him against your door, lean up on your tiptoes and kiss him.
It’s just a brief kiss, soft and gentle with your hands twirling the hair at the nape of his neck, but you didn’t want your final kiss with Harry to be a rough snog.
You both pull away and say nothing, Harry turning to head back to his own apartment, and you disappearing into yours. It’s only when you drop down in bed, the silence of the night and your thoughts running wild that you really come to terms with what you’ve lost.
I would be a horrible aunt if I didn’t post pictures of my adorable nephew
Top Picture: My nephew Lewis as Harry Potter! So cute ^^
Bottom Pictures: I got to hang out with him, my sister & brother-in-law, and my parents at a pumpkin patch in the Myriad Gardens in OKC. It was fun, and he had fun looking at all the people and chewing on pumpkins :)