lewis francis

so indie - edsheervns

1 atlas hands / benjamin francis leftwich
2 heartbeats / josé gonzález
3 hold back the river / james bay
4 all i want / kodaline
5 same mistakes / paper aeroplanes
6 the first day of my life / bright eyes
7 generator (first floor) / freelance whales
8 home / gabrielle aplin
9 riptide / vance joy
10 devil on my shoulder / orla gartland
11 bones / lewis watson
12 sos / ashley frangipane
13 waiting for the fall / tommy ashby
14 you always make me smile / kyle andrews
15 featherstone / the paper kites
16 lilo / lauren aquilina
17 neopolitan dreams / lisa mitchell
18 put on, cologne / donovan woods
19 play with fire / vance joy
20 skinny love / birdy
21 windows / lewis watson
22 the ground / orla gartland
23 as we are now / saint raymond
24 another love / tom odell
25 pictures / benjamin francis leftwich
26 how to save a life / the fray
27 i’ll keep you safe / sleeping at last
28 out on my own / gabrielle aplin
29 bruises / tommy ashby
30 turning page / sleeping at last
31 the river / saint raymond
32 youth / daughter
33 lost / gentle bones
34 bloom / the paper kites
35 5 years time / noah and the whale
36 heirloom / sleeping at last
37 dancing song / little comets
38 gracious / ben howard
39 favourite day / bombay bicycle club
40 generator (second floor) / freelance whales
41 butterfly culture / benjamin francis leftwich
42 jupiter / sleeping at last
43 cold snap / tommy ashby
44 cough syrup / young the giant
45 give me love (the live room) / ed sheeran
46 turning back around / rhodes
47 do you want it all? / two door cinema club
48 we are (live at the cluny 2 newcastle) / ed sheeran

http://8tracks.com/edsheervns/so-indie -

The Midheaven: How You Will Be Remembered

The Midheaven (MC) is commonly thought to describe one’s career path. Although this is a decent indicator of one’s overall path, it can be hard to relate to a specific career so early in one’s life. So, if you don’t relate to your Midheaven like, “Oh, you have a MC in Aries, so you’re probably going to be a police officer, solider, or athlete" then maybe try thinking of the Midheaven as how you will be remembered or what you are generally associated with. (Always trust your dominant sign to describe you the most- *a post similar to this coming soon)
✨No matter what career you decide, you will be remembered by your peers, co-workers, friends, and family by traits from the sign, aspects*, and planets* bestowed upon your 10th House.✨

♈ Aries MC: will be remembered for their courage, boldness, intimidating/unsettling nature, and/or originality.
(ex. Stephen King, Meryl Streep, Kanye West, Joan of Arc, Bill Gates, Angelina Jolie, Madalyn Murry O'Hair, Pablo Picasso, Rachel Maddow, Will Smith, Franz Kafka, Tyra Banks, Aleister Crowley, Tina Fey, Francisco de Goya, Julia Roberts, Chris Farley, Joseph Goebbels, Marvin Gaye, Iggy Pop, Kate Moss, Alfred Hitchcock, George Wallace, Hank Williams, Ayn Rand, Rob Zombie, Alexandre Dumas, John Steinbeck, Anne Frank, Twiggy, Jack Black, William Blake, Celine Dion, Galileo Galilei, Al Gore, Emmylou Harris, Las Vegas-Nevada, Manhattan-New York)

♉ Taurus MC: will be remembered for their extravagant style or possessions, their values, and/or “diva” attitude.

(ex. Henry VIII, Andy Warhol, Marilyn Monroe, Tina Turner, Pope Francis, Jackie Robinson, Selena Gomez, Drake, Donald Trump, Freddie Mercury, Agatha Christie, Muhammad Ali, Frida Kahlo, O. J. Simpson, Justin Timberlake, Marlene Dietrich, Malala Yousafzai, Christopher Columbus, Michael Bay, Luciano Pavarotti, Nicole Richie, Woody Allen, Marilyn Manson, Maya Angelou, Martin Scorsese, Bernie Madoff, Ringo, Josephine Baker, Andrew Lloyd Webber, Sarah Palin, Josh Groban, Chris Brown, Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen, Norway)

♊ Gemini MC: will be remembered for/through words (writing, phrase, acting, thoughts, speech), their cleverness,
and/or mental/emotional detachment.

(ex. Jean-Jaques Rousseau, Albert Camus, Madonna, J.R.R. Tolkein, Donna Summer, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Chelsea Handler, Alex Trebek, Kurt Cobain, Julie Andrews, Oscar Wilde, Jay-Z, Richard Nixon, Harriet Beecher Stowe, Tom Hanks, Kris Jenner, Walt Disney, Miss Cleo, Mark Zuckerberg, Steve Jobs, Hugh Hefner, Lizzie Borden, Jane Austen, Charles Dickens, Kathy Bates, Winston Churchill, Melissa Ethridge, Ernest Hemingway, Margaret Mitchell, Paul Simon, Greece, Tokyo-Japan)

♋ Cancer MC: will be remembered for their emotional impact, sensitivity, and/or parental care/control.

(ex. Beyoncé, Matamha Gandhi, John F. Kennedy, Venus Williams, Britney Spears, Arthur Rimbaud, Elizabeth Warren, Denzel Washington, Jeffery Dahmer, Sun Yet-sen, Bob Hope, Stevie Wonder, Anderson Cooper, Cat Stevens, Anna Nicole Smith, Joe Jonas, Rock Hudson, Alice Cooper, Woodrow Wilson, Barbara Walters, T. S. Elliot, Coretta Scott King, Albert Schweitzer, Ted Cruz, Monica Lewinsky, H.P. Lovecraft, Anaïs Nin, Katie Couric, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Carole King, Neil Diamond, Harper Lee, Giacomo Puccini, Sidney Poitier, September 11 attacks, United Kingdom)

♌ Leo MC: will be remembered for their theatrics, arrogance/vanity, power, and/or regality.

(ex. Grace Kelly, Prince, Isaac Newton, Adolf Hitler, Katy Perry, Charlie Chaplin, Aretha Franklin, Sigmund Freud, Jacqueline Onassis-Kennedy, Stanley Kubrick, Courtney Love, Mark Twain, Chaka Khan, Napoleon Bonaparte, Kathy Griffin, Jim Carrey, Alfred Nobel, Eric Clapton, Annie Oakley, Martha Stewart, Divine, Louis Pasteur, Robin Williams, Ludwig Van Beethoven, Chuck Berry, Vladimir Putin, Clint Eastwood, Missy Elliot, Frank Sinatra, Mel B, Edgar Allan Poe, Los Angeles-CA)

♍ Virgo MC: will be remembered for their scandals/controversy, never-ending toil, physicality/health and/or attention to detail.

(ex. Hillary Clinton, Bruce Lee, Kim Kardashian, Ellen DeGeneres, Brad Pitt, Nelson Mandela, Bette Davis, Justin Bieber, Elvis Presley, Erykah Badu, Jimmy Page, Eartha Kitt, Leonardo de Vinci, Bob Marley, Joan Crawford, Margaret Thatcher, Eminem, Friedrich Nietzsche, David Lynch, Chaz Bono, Marlon Brando, Björk, Ozzy Osborne, Emily Brontë, Bernie Sanders, Georgia O'Keeffe, Diana Ross, Kahlil Gibran, Russia, United States)

♎ Libra MC: will be remembered for their inner/outer beauty, adaptability, and/or desire for or appearance of stability.

(ex. Elton John, Jane Goodall, Malcolm X, Coco Channel, Kylie Jenner, Ronald Reagan, Princess Diana, Michelangelo, Oprah Winfrey, Bob Dylan, Winona Ryder, Jimi Hendrix, Mother Teresa, Elizabeth Taylor, Cristiano Ronaldo, Angela Merkel, Tom Brokaw, Alan Watts, Charles Darwin, Brigitte Bardot, Patti Smith, Chuck Norris, Linda Lovelace, Ray Charles, Lionel Messi, Eleanor Roosevelt, Lewis Carroll, Noam Chomsky, Lucille Ball, Venice-Italy)

♏ Scorpio MC: will be remembered for their physical attractiveness, taboo activities/topics, and/or natural talent.

(ex. James Joyce, Billie Holiday, Taylor Swift, Barack Obama, Carrie Fisher, Jim Morrison, Selena, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Queen Elizabeth II, Ariana Grande, Marie Curie, Anthony Hopkins, René Descartes, Nina Simone, Willem Dafoe, Paul Newman, Mariska Hargitay, Thomas Jefferson, Ray Bradbury, Joseph Stalin, Larry King, Duke Ellington, Joan Jett, Buddy Holly, Megan Fox, Johnny Knoxville, Daniel Day-Lewis, Gwen Stefani, Francis Ford Coppola, Sophia Loren, Marcus Aurelius, China)

♐ Sagittarius MC: will be remembered for their joviality​, reckless/wild free spirit, sense of humor, and/or philosophy/spirituality.

(ex. Al Capone, Deepok Chopra, Shia LaBeouf, Audrey Hepburn, Harvey Milk, Johnny Cash, David Bowie, Bettie Page, Pablo Neruda, J. K. Rowling, Christina Aguilera, Michael Jackson, Henry David Thoreau, Adele, Janis Joplin, Maximilien Robespierre​, Ellen Pompeo, Whitney Houston, Paul McCartney, Evel Knievel, Bruno Mars, Jimmy Fallon, Peggy Lipton, Karl Marx, George Takei, Ryan Gosling, Whoopi Goldberg, Vincent Price, Rio de Janeiro-Brazil)

♑ Capricorn MC: will be remembered for their accomplishments/legacy, conquering of odds, and/or persistence.

(ex. Martin Luther King Jr., George Washington, Rihanna, Isadora Duncan, Benjamin Franklin, James Dean, Nikola Tesla, John D. Rockefeller, Serena Williams, Joan Baez, Snoop Dogg, Alexander the Great, Barbara Streisand, Ron Howard, Stevie Nicks, Bette Midler, Joan Rivers, Immanuel Kant, Queen Latifah, Johann Sebastian Bach, Walt Whitman, Che Guevara, Liza Minnelli, Amelia Earhart, Mariah Carey, John Lennon, George Lucas, Donatella Versace, Louis Armstrong, Pakistan)

♒ Aquarius MC: will be remembered for their rebellious nature, involvement in a social organization/group​, and/or unpredictability.

(ex. Miley Cyrus, Tim Burton, Voltaire, Mick Jagger, Carl Sagan, Rita Hayworth, Neil Armstrong, Amy Winehouse, Pamela Anderson, Carlos Santana, Edward Snowden, Leo Tolstoy, Mae West, Orson Welles, Charlie Sheen, Eva Peron, Miles Davis, Bruce Springsteen, Johann Kepler, Suddam Hussein, Ruby Rose, Gerard Way, Helen Mirren, Howard Stern, Arthur Conan Doyle, Mary Shelley, George R. R. Martin, Kristen Stewart, Jean Piaget, Ronda Rousey, Willow Smith, Florida, India)

♓ Pisces MC: will be remembered for their delusional optimism, supernatural success, and/or they are often idolized
.
(ex. Vincent Van Gogh, Albert Einstein, Irene Cara, Cher, Salvador Dalí, William Shakespeare, Edie Sedgwick, Fidel Castro, Lady Gaga, Dalai Lama XIV, Steven Spielberg, George Michael, Marie Antoinette, RuPaul, Judy Garland, Michael Phelps, Sally Ride, John Cena, William Faulkner, Victoria Beckham, Lee Harvey Oswald, Douglas Adams, Jean Renoir, Buzz Aldrin, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Farrah Fawcett, Osama bin Laden, Sam Cooke, Michael Jordan, Switzerland, North Korea)

5 Books Every New Christian Should Read

We’ve compiled a list of five books we think every new disciple of Jesus should read:

1. The Prodigal God: Recovering the Heart of the Christian Faith (Tim Keller)

2. Mere Christianity (C.S. Lewis)

3. Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream (David Platt)

4. Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God (Francis Chan)

5. Jesus + Nothing = Everything (Tullian Tchvidjian)

First Thoughts On Seeing Each Other


Wade: Dayum! She’s sexy as fuck! (Wade)
Jesus! Look at him! Look at that booty! (You)

Vanessa: God look at those tit’s! I’d love too…Wow her face is cute (Vanessa)
She’s cute. I want her. Now. (You)

Weasel: There’s the sexy ass girl with the fat ass (Weasel)
Cutie with the glasses is looking at me again (You)

Francis: I can’t hurt he she’s to beautiful. Look at her (Francis)
I swsr when I get out of here I’m going to fucking kill this bald bastard! (You)

Angel: Jesus Christ she’s strong! (You)
Little bitch stabbed me! I’m going to kill her! (Angel)

Piotr: She is so beautiful. I must speak to her (Piotr)
Damn! He’s like 9 fucking feet tall! Fuck I hope he doesn’t try to kill me (You)

Ellie: Sexy lady! (Ellie)
Hello there cutie (You)
I’d love to get that cat (Her)

Peter: Wow! She’s so pretty (Him)
Oh god! Cutie alert! (You)

Gwen: Hope she isn’t dumb like those other blondes I just saw (You)
Oh no she just gave me that look (Gwen)
Dude she’s so smart! Yes! (You)
She smiled at me! Ohhh my gosh! (Gwen)

Tony: Look at those legs! (Tony)
Wow Tony Stark is even hotter in person (You)

Bruce: Oh my gosh! It’s Bruce Banner! (You)
Oh! It’s Dr. Y/N L/N! She’s so pretty (Bruce)

Steve: The waitress Y/N is very beautiful. Like Peggy was (Steve)
Whoa Captain America is sex as hell especially up close! (You)

Natasha: Is that a goddess? (Tasha)
Dayum she rockin’ that catsuit (You)

Pietro: What the fuck was that? (You)
Scaced the hell outta her (Pietro)
Got you mothetfucker! (You)
Ow! Damn she’s strong! How’d she catch me! (Pietro)

Wanda: Oh my fuckin! She’s a mutant! (You)
Oh no she’s afraid of me now! (Wanda)
That’s kind of cook though (You)

Rhodey: It’s Iron Man! (You)
Of course she thinks I’m Iron Man. They always do (Him)
Wait that’s not Iron Man! But he is cute though (You)

Darcy: Damn! Those jugs are big enoih to feed me for a couple of days! (You)
Does she know she said that out loud right? (Her)
I’m definitely going to talk to her (You)

Pepper: Oh my gosh! It’s Pepper Potts! (You)
Oh god not another crazy ass Pepper Potts basher (Her)
Why’d she roll her eyes? Aw man! She doesn’t even wanna speak to me! (You)

Matt: Wow her voice is simply amazing (Him)
Can he see me? (You)
Great now she doesn’t even gonna talk to me because I’m blind (Him)
Ehhh. Fuck it! Might blind but he’s cute as hell! (You)

Sam: That’s a big ass bird! Oh hell! It’s coming towards me! Ahhh! (You)
Shit! Fuck I’m about to hit her (Him)

Scott: What the fuck?! Where the hell are all those fucking ants coming from?! (You)
These guys are going eat her alive! Guys! (Him)
What the shit?! Is that a man?! (You)

T’Challa: He/She is….beautiful. Go talk to y/gender T’Challa! Don’t be a coward! Your a warrior. A King. Oh fuck y/gender is coming over here! Be calm! (Him)

He is gorgeous. I want him. He will be mine. Wait why is he sweating? Is he nervous? (You) 

playlist for a lost love http://open.spotify.com/user/1266353920/playlist/6gm3CUnftNnbEb8uzphflF

tracks: 

  • twelve feet deep- the front bottoms 
  • your graduation- modern baseball 
  • the boy who blocked his own shot- brand new 
  • navy blue- the story so far
  • on the floor- seahaven
  • we’re fighting again- flatsound 
  • me- the 1975 
  • own it- drake
  • hide- little may
  • set the fire to the third bar- snow patrol 
  • in my veins- andrew belle 
  • sea bitch- tallows
  • love lost (acoustic)- the temper trap 
  • if it hurts- gallant 
  • oceans- setfret
  • moths- racing glaciers 
  • nikki- logic
  • echoes of silence- the weeknd 
  • loveland- milky chance
  • fallingforyou- the 1975 
  • shine- benjamin francis leftwich
  • mr. brightside- the killers 
  • it could be better- lewis watson 
  • atlas hands- benjamin francis leftwich 
  • peach- the front bottoms 
  • strange girl- the zolas
  • she changes the weather- swim deep 
  • dust is gone- mø 
  • remember you- g-eazy 
  • lyin king- jhene aiko 
  • rollercoaster- bleachers 
  • not your fault- awolnation 
  • hold my hand- the fray 
  • temple- kings of leon 
  • honey- magic man 
  • everything we used to do- goldhouse 
  • idfc- blackbear
  • changing of the seasons- two door cinema club 
  • maps- the front bottoms
  • resolution- matt corby 
  • often- the weeknd 
  • such small hands- la dispute
  • all i want- dawn golden 
  • days- the drums 
  • mess is mine- vance joy 
  • talk about it- erik hassle 
  • cold cold man- saint motel 
  • too far gone- sir sly 
  • don’t wait for me- racing glaciers 
  • coming back again- kings of leon 
  • waiting game- banks 
  • perfect like you- ricosheï 
  • undo- the 1975 
  • beautiful you- parker theory 
  • syndicate- the fray 
  • always- blink-182 
  • knees- peter and kerry 
  • jealous- labyrinth 
  • a part of me (ft. laura whiteside)- neck deep
  • beautiful war- kings of leon 
  • knee deep- lydia 
  • sedated- hozier
  • wake me- bleachers
  • still- daughter 
  • animal- racing glaciers
  • always take you back- night terrors of 1927
  • romance- monogram
  • holding on- fyfe
  • jesus christ- brand new
  • the one who gave up- flat sound
  • clairvoyant- the story so far
  • forest whitaker- bad books 
  • papershaker- morning show 
  • comeback story- kings of leon 
  • begging for thread- banks
  • sleep- citizen
  • caffeine- thomston 
  • wolf- now, now
  • anobrain- the 1975
  • jungle- drake
  • your soul- RHODES
  • au revoir- onerepublic
  • promises- jhene aiko 
  • trouble (stripped)- halsey
  • i hope you’re okay- flatsound
nytimes.com
Edna Lewis and the Black Roots of American Cooking
The chef and author made the case for black Southern cooking as the foundation of our national cuisine. Does she get the credit she deserves?
By Francis Lam

The chef and author made the case for black Southern cooking as the foundation of our national cuisine. Does she get the credit she deserves?

This is an oustanding piece about an incredibly important person in black American history and foodways.

absolxguardian  asked:

Hey, so I just learned today that I'm related to one of the signers of the Declaration of Independence, Francis Lewis. He didn't really do anything other than signing, but at least I have something to one up my friend who's descended from Scottish nobles. That's cool. He didn't really do anything else tho.

That is awesome! I think he is interesting. 

HERStory Matters: Anthropologist, chemist, author, actor and civil rights activist Eslanda Goode Robeson was born on December 15, 1895.

Eslanda Cardozo Goode was born in Washington, DC. Her paternal great-grandfather was a Sephardic Jew whose family was expelled from Spain in the 17th century.Her grandfather was Francis Lewis Cardozo, the first Black treasurer of South Carolina. Her father, John Goode, was a law clerk in the War Department who later finished his law degree at Howard University. Eslanda had two older brothers, John Jr. and Francis. She attended the University of Illinois and later graduated from Columbia University in New York with a B. S. degree in chemistry. When then she started to work at New York-Presbyterian Hospital, she soon became the head histological chemist of Surgical Pathology, the first Black to hold such a position.

In 1920, Paul Robeson and Eslanda attended summer school at Columbia. One year later they married. Eslanda gave up her intentions to study medicine and supported her husband as his business manager. Eslanda worked at the hospital until 1925, when the career of her husband took more and more of her time. She spent time between Harlem, London and France in the following years.

The only child of the Robesons, Paul Jr, “Pauli” was born on November 2, 1927; Robeson was on a tour in Europe at that time. The marriage was strained and Eslanda suffered under the affairs of her husband. Robeson’s long-term liaison with Yolanda Jackson almost broke up the marriage, and Eslanda even agreed to a divorce at a time. Yet, despite all the setbacks and separations, the marriage endured as each of the two had needs that only the other could fill. Eslanda chose to “rise above Paul’s affairs,” but to stay married to him and pursue her own career.

In 1930, Eslanda published her first book, a biography of her husband: “Paul Robeson, Negro.” In 1931, the couple were living in London and became more estranged. Eslanda resumed her own career, taking acting parts in three movies over the next couple of years. She enrolled at the London School of Economics for anthropology and graduated in 1937. In England, she learned more about Africa. She made the first of three journeys to the continent, touring South and East Africa with her son in 1936.

With the signs of war imminent in Europe, the Robesons moved back to Harlem in 1938. Three years later, they moved to Enfield, Connecticut, to their estate, “The Beeches.” Eslanda earned her Ph.D. at the Hartford Seminary in 1946. Using her diary notes of her Africa trip, she completed her second book, “African Journey,” the same year. The book was unusual, as few books in those days dealt with Africa in the first place, and her perspective, as an African American woman, on women in black Africa was unique. The book’s publication was endorsed by Pearl Buck, whose husband was the head of the John Day publishing house. The book argued that Blacks should take pride in their African heritage.

Buck and Eslanda continued to work together. As a result, “American Argument” was published in 1949, a book of dialogues and comments, edited by Buck, in which Eslanda spoke on society, politics, gender roles, and race relations.

With the development of the cold war, the life of the Robesons changed dramatically. The couple had first visited the Soviet Union in 1934, were impressed by the apparent absence of racism, and agreed with the stance of communism against racism, colonization, and imperialism.With their pro-Soviet views, both became targets during the McCarthy days. Robeson’s career came to a standstill, their income dropped dramatically, and the Connecticut estate had to be sold.

On July 17, 1953. Eslanda, like her husband, was called to testify before the US Senate. Asked if she was a communist, she took the Fifth Amendment and challenged the legitimacy of the proceedings. Her passport was revoked until the decision was overturned in 1958. Fighting for the decolonization of Africa and Asia she continued to work for the Council on African Affairs and to write as the UN correspondent for the New World Review, a pro-Soviet magazine.

Once their passports had been returned, they flew to London and the Soviet Union. Eslanda made her third and final trip to Africa, attending the first postcolonial All-African Peoples’ Conference in Ghana in 1958. In 1963, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She returned from Russia to the US and died in New York in December 1965.

A book about her life, “Eslanda,” was published in 2012. Get your copy at http://amzn.to/1T0CMne.

Supposition

There’s definitely a way you’re supposed to Christian blog. 

I’ve done it for 4 years, I know how it goes. You’re supposed to have a screen-name that contains “grace”, “mercy”, “love”, or a fun combo of the three. You’re supposed to either a) blog and reblog exclusively Jesus things or b) not blog and reblog exclusively Jesus things and feel weird and ashamed that you posted a sick meme one too many times and now must compensate with reblogging the first 4 Christian typographical pieces that you can find in a row, just to be safe. You’re supposed to make your blog posts flowery and beautiful and metaphorical and tied into real life somehow and end it with “blessings!” and try your best to sound genuine and authentic, even when it sometimes feels like nothing more than plastic. 

But wait! What’s not genuine about the Christian blogging experience? 

We’re supposed to reblog quotes about radical love. We’re supposed to automatically favorite passages from C.S. Lewis or Francis Chan. As readers, we’re supposed to ask Christian bloggers who answer questions on their blog literally every question we may ever have in our Christian walk. And if they err a little theologically, we’re supposed to go on anonymous in their inbox and correct them- sometimes tied up with love, sometimes stabbed with malice. 

We’re supposed to. 

And to be fair, the supposed to of Christian blogging is subtle. It’s subtle, and it’s not dangerous, and I really think it probably does more good than harm. 

Most of the time. 

Some of the time, the supposed to Christian culture chokes. The supposed to Christian culture, a culture that emphatically tries its best to shy away from legalism and douses us with grace, stifles. It makes you feel like you’re supposed to want to “wait on God’s timing!!! <3″ when you’re 29 and still single, unmarried, a virgin, and ready to say screw it to it all. 

It makes you feel like you’re supposed to accept people’s prayers with glee when you’ve just written an incredibly personal post about how you’re scathing mad at God, complete with many expletives and a whole lot of heartache and not a lot of trust, and you post it and all you want is people to listen but all you get is what feels like a lousy prayer- a lousy prayer of “Don’t worry! He’s in control :)” that’s supposed to make the pain go away. 

So if it’s not the fact that we’re supposed to give up our human inclination to want to go out and have a good time without feeling guilty, it’s the fact that we’re supposed to feel ashamed every time we have a crush on a boy before God’s timing.

If it’s not the fact that we’re supposed to listen for an answer from God before moving forward with a life decision, it’s the fact that we’re supposed to love to try to keep “loving on” the really rude girl who doesn’t seem to want anything to do with God or grace or you. 

We’re supposed to live the model Christian life- the model Christian life of the perfectly imperfect model Christian life- the model Christian life of the “oh, hahaha, I’m so silly! I need so much grace today because I {insert totally human reaction to any negative situation ever}! wow, thank God for His blood! I’m such a wretched sinner! so dirty! so undeserving! by the way, love the sinner, hate the sin!!”- the model Christian life of “hey instagram! i’m addicted to my Bible and coffee!!”- the model Christian life of “so happy to turn 20 and marry the love of my life and travel the world and spread Jesus!”. 

It’s not said but we’re supposed to. It’s not spoken, but we are supposed to live out these things as our dues as Christian girl. The supposed to is a tax- the supposed to keeps us “daughters of the one true King!” in line. 

‘Cause we have to typography, we have to grace, we have to Christian music, we have to speak softly, we have to apologize unnecessarily, we have to self-flagellate every time we get the slightest bit of upset with the guy who stole our parking spot at Target, we have to marry young and baby young and Jesus and coffee and wanderlust and Bible verses and twitter bio of “wife. mommy. lover of Jesus” and we’re just supposed to want that. 

We’re supposed to. 

I don’t know exactly why I wrote this (or if people will even see this) but if I can say one thing that I’ve learned in the past few months of wrestling with God is that sometimes it’s okay to not do the supposed to

Sometimes it’s okay to take down our perfectly messy buns and remove our perfectly H & M meets Free People wardrobe and push aside our perfectly caffeinated latte (lol my only flaw is that i’m addicted to coffee! lol quirky!) and close our perfectly highlighted Bible and lock ourselves in our bathrooms and cry. 

(I think we owe it to ourselves to at least do that. Shed the supposed and let yourself be as naked and as ugly as you were upon your exit from that good ole’ womb…)

Now, I just wrote a paragraph about how if you do any or all of the things above, I’m not trying to criticize or condemn you and that you deserve the right to live your life however you want. I wrote that paragraph because I was supposed to make sure I didn’t offend anybody or call out anybody on their bullshit too much or even use the word bullshit in a Christian blog piece. 

I deleted that paragraph. 

By all means, be a cutesy Christian. Use pinterest too much, never swear, only admit to sins that make you seem as bad as Bambi’s Mother. I get it. No fault. No worries. Do you. 

But this post is for the girls who allow themselves to grow past the supposed to’s. This post is for the girls who allow themselves to be content with the fact that sometimes, God’s timing really, really seems like it sucks. This post is for the girls who are sick of random people coming into their personal tumblr inboxes and typing out reasons upon reasons as to why they are not behaving in a Christ-like manner, but it’s okay because “I’ll pray for you! <3.” This post is for the girls who don’t really like typography all that much and for the girls will sometimes say lmao even though it technically contains a swear word and for the girls who are fed up with the facade of it all. 

I don’t want to divide women. I don’t want people to pick sides; I don’t want there to be a war between the supposed to’s and the not’s. And I certainly don’t want it to come across as me being arrogant or pretentious or ~too cool for u mainstream Christian peasants~. 

But I do want there to be a fair dialogue. An ability to talk about things that matter without being silenced with Bible verses. An ability to express anger and frustration about the Church, about its members, and even about God. An ability to allow ourselves to not be the model Christian girls we so believe that we must be. 

Somewhere this year, in between being frustrated with Christian blogging and mad at God and annoyed with myself and hateful toward the world and my circumstances, I gave up on the the idol of the supposed

And I’ve honestly, truly never felt more free. 

- Akua 

4

Opening today and running through May 9, 2016:

“The Artist’s Garden: American Impressionism and the Garden Movement, 1887–1920”

The Huntington’s presentation of “The Artist’s Garden” is the show’s only West Coast stop on a national tour that originated at the Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts and features a hand-picked selection of 17 paintings from the original exhibition.

Read more about the show here.

image captions:
Philip Leslie Hale (1865–1931),
The Crimson Rambler, ca. 1908, oil on canvas, 25 ¼ × 30 3/16 in. Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts, Philadelphia, Joseph E. Temple Fund.

Childe Hassam (1859–1935), The Hovel and the Skyscraper, 1904, oil on canvas, 34 ¾ × 31 in. Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts, Philadelphia, The Vivian O. and Meyer P. Potamkin Collection, bequest of Vivian O. Potamkin.

J. Alden Weir (1852–1919), Midday Rest in New England, 1897, oil on canvas, 39 5/8 × 50 3/8 in. Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts, Philadelphia, gift of Isaac H. Clothier, Edward H. Coates, Dr. Francis W. Lewis, Robert C. Ogden, and Joseph G. Rosengarten.

Cecilia Beaux (1855–1942), Landscape with Farm Building, Concarneau, France, 1888, oil on canvas, 11 1/16 × 14 3/16 in. Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts, Philadelphia, gift of Henry Sandwith Drinker.

“…[T]he New Testament, without going into details, gives us a pretty clear hint of what a fully Christian society would be like. … If there were such a society in existence and you or I visited it, I think we should come away with a curious impression. We should feel that its economic life was very socialistic and, in that sense, “advanced,“ but that its family life and its code of manners were rather old-fashioned—perhaps even ceremonious and aristocratic. Each of us would like some bits of it, but I am afraid very few of us would like the whole thing. That is just what one would expect if Christianity is the total plan for the human machine. We have all departed from that total plan in different ways, and each of us wants to make out that his own modification of the original plan is the plan itself. You will find this again and again about anything that is really Christian: every one is attracted by bits of it and wants to pick out those bits and leave the rest.”
- C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity