leviathan cover

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‘‘And that is how I ended up being covered in Leviathan drab,’‘ you finished your story. ‘‘I still blame Dean for that though. It took me days to get everything off.’‘

Lucifer furrowed his eyesbrow and pulled a face.

‘‘Yikes. That doesn’t sound good.’‘

‘‘You tell me. And I haven’t even started about the smell…’‘

(Gifs not mine)

verse tag dump bc reasons (◔◡◔✿)

Why Destiel is the most tragically beautiful (and canon) love story on television:

1.  They met in the most romantically epic way possible.

Cas wasn’t even supposed to be a main character when he was introduced – I’m serious, he was initially supposed to have a six-episode arc and then be killed off.  I find that surprising, because his relationship with Dean almost immediately became one of the most complex and meaningful on the show.

First of all, Cas met Dean by pulling him out of hell (and in the process, literally marking him on as his own.  You will never convince me that the hand-print wasn’t some angelic way of calling dibs).  But seriously, is that not some of the most romantic shit you’ve ever heard?

For one thing, it immediately establishes that no matter what happens, whether he’s a leviathan or a human or high on black goo and claiming to be God, Cas will always be the angel that gripped Dean tight and raised him from perdition. That in and of itself immediately gives them a bond that simply can’t be taken away or replaced (Sorry, Amara). 

Cas evidently holds Dean to an equally high regard, considering that he rebelled against hundreds of thousands of years of strict programming for Dean literally weeks after he met him.  For this, Cas was dragged back to heaven and tortured back into submission, only to revolt AGAIN after spending virtually five minutes alone with Dean, and ultimately literally dying for him immediately afterwards. 

2.  Dean loves Cas unconditionally.

I’m going to say it.  Dean is very, very bad at expressing his feelings towards people.  Personally, I blame it on his upbringing.

But whether Cas knows it or not, Dean obviously cares for him no matter what: After his release of the leviathans, for example, Dean was angry at Cas for a long time, but his feelings for him never diminished.  Just look at his face after his initial submergence into the lake. 

Let alone the fact that after Cas’s supposed death, Dean fell into a depression similar to the one he suffered after his excursion to hell in season four, complete with all the binge-drinking and insomnia. 

And the fact that he kept Cas’s trench coat afterwards, even though at that point, he never expected to see him again. 

Then look at Dean’s face after he sees Cas alive again for the first time.  So many frickin’ emotions.

Of course, that doesn’t stop him from giving him a quick, completely platonic, “eye-fuck for luck” literally moments afterwards. 

Finally, at the end of season seven, we have this infamous line. 

Then we have season eight, one of the most Destiel-heavy seasons of them all.  First and foremost, we have the fact that Dean refuses to leave purgatory without Cas, and spends almost a year looking for him. 

Even better is the passionate, completely platonic “bro-hug” he gives him, complete with lots of unnecessary touching. 

3.  To Cas, Dean is unambiguously the single most important thing in the world.

We’ve already established that Cas pulled Dean out of hell and then fell for him very, very quickly, but let’s take a look at what he’s done afterwards:

For one thing, there is nothing Cas won’t risk, give up, or endure for Dean’s sake.  Heck, by the end of season five, he’s already exploded for him.  Twice. 

In season six, Cas’s number one priority appears to be keeping Raphael from freeing Lucifer and Michael and re-starting the apocalypse, but by the end of the season, it’s clear where his true priorities lie.

And then we have season seven.  This was a dark time for everyone, and there wasn’t nearly enough Destiel (or Cas, for that matter) for my liking, but we do have some pretty telling, poignant little tidbits, like this one.

Or the fact that Cas had basically sworn off fighting until he realized that Dean was going to be putting himself in danger fighting the leviathan alone.

We’ve already covered that season eight had absolutely no chill, but most importantly, it had Naomi, who appeared to understand that Castiel’s love for Dean would be the greatest obstacle in maintaining her control over him.  

But even after forcing him to slaughter countless copies of Dean, Cas STILL refused to follow through with the real thing. 

In season nine, we see Cas give up an entire army of angels to ensure Dean’s well-being, and Metatron, while possibly TV’s biggest asshole since Joffrey, was surprisingly adept at revealing what Cas’s priorities were at.  From his love for…”Humanity,” to the real reason why he’d rallied the angels to begin with. 

In season ten, we didn’t have nearly enough interactions between Dean and Cas, but what we did get was pure, heart-breaking gold.  First and foremost, we have the fact that Cas basically told Dean straight-up that he planned on staying by his side for the rest of eternity, even if he became a mass-murdering demon.

Next, we have the fact that Cas was literally prepared to be brutally killed by Dean just to avoid having to fight him.

And more subtly, we have this interaction with Metatron.  Keep in mind that by this point, Metatron has caused Cas an insane amount of suffering: from stealing his grace, to his months of homelessness, to alienating him from his entire family/species.  But literally all Cas is angry about is the fact that Metatron hurt Dean.  

Lastly, we have the fact that whenever something Cas does goes horribly wrong, from letting out the leviathans to indirectly causing all the angels to fall from heaven, his first instinct is to apologize.  To Dean. 

And if that doesn’t work, well.  There’s always this.

I Understand

I haven’t written anything in a long time. So, I figured I’d take me pretty intense love of Dean and Cas in Purgatory and write a thing based off of the scene where they are reunited in 8.02. My skills are rusty, man. Around 1.4k words.

Dean would have recognized that trench coat no matter what state it had been in. Ripped to shreds, covered in Leviathan goo, sopping wet, or all of the above—it didn’t matter. That coat was stretched taut across a pair of shoulders. Cas’ shoulders. Right there, stooped over the stream running through Purgatory was Castiel.

“Cas!” he hesitated, waiting for a response despite wanting to hurdle toward the angel and dig his fingers into his first taste of familiarity in nearly a year.

“Dean.”

Short reply. Typical of Cas but the sound of his voice rang like bells in Dean’s ears and he found himself having to refrain from sprinting to reach him. He moved cautiously despite the only thing on his mind being how badly he wanted to feel a solid form against his being.

“Cas?” he repeated the name he’d spent night after night calling out into the wilderness with no response like it was a question. There was still the possibility that it wasn’t Cas standing before him, but the slightly shocked expression was so quintessentially Cas there was no way any creature could replicate it. Through a mixture of nervousness and joy, a chuckle slipped from his mouth as he drew Cas into a hug.

Cas was rigid, unwelcoming to the arms around him, but it didn’t stop Dean from squeezing tightly and clapping his hand on Cas’ back. He wanted to hold the contact, revel in the way his fingertips could feel the slight give of the muscle in Cas’ shoulder blades through his dirty coat– but he couldn’t and he knew that.

“Damn, it’s good to see you.” He pulled away. His hand lingered on Cas’ shoulder as he stepped back to take in the sight before him. A mess of greasy dark hair and blue eyes paired with an expression that read both somewhat aloof and slightly terrified.

“Nice peach fuzz,” his hand grazed the beard that had grown in scraggly on Cas’ jawline. It was an affectionate touch. Something Dean would have never done outside of the realm they currently stood in, but he had been killing monster after monster in rough combat… he craved tenderness to balance the violence.

“Thank you.” Cas’ eyes darted from Dean to various places in their surroundings.

“You should meet somebody,” Dean pointed his makeshift weapon in the direction of the vampire who had been his only ally since he had lost Cas. “This is Benny. Benny, this is Cas.”

“Hola.” Uneasy, skepticism laced Benny’s voice as his eyes swept over the angel in a trench coat and hospital scrubs.

There was no response from Cas to Dean’s introduction to their company or to Benny’s greeting.

“How did you find me?”

“The bloody way.” Dean halted, his brow creasing as he watched Cas’ obvious, yet well warranted, paranoia read on his features.

“You feeling okay?” he wondered, remembering how Cas had been affected so harshly by taking of Sam’s mental burdens. Now Cas had gone from altogether avoiding conflict and watching bees in gardens, to bloody 360-degree combat.

“You mean am I still…” Cas pointed to his head, making a circular motion with his index finger.

“Yeah, if you want to be on the nose about it, sure.”

An instant response followed. “No. I’m perfectly sane. But, then, 94% of psychotics think they’re perfectly sane, so I guess we’d have to ask ourselves, ‘what is sane?’”

Dean held his breath for a moment, his heart stuttering in his chest. That was certainly Cas. A sane Cas with his long winded rants on questions that involved no more than a yes or a no in response. That was so typically Cas that is caused an ache to spread through the depths of Dean’s chest.

“That’s a good question,” he forced out with breath he didn’t have.

“Why’d you bail on Dean?” Benny’s Louisianan drawl tailed Dean’s words like a chain behind a truck.

“Dude –“ Cas hadn’t bailed on Dean. Cas wouldn’t do that, or at least Dean wanted to believe that Cas wouldn’t do that.

“The way I hear it, you two hit monster land, and hot wings here took off.” Benny pointed his weapon toward Cas, eyes moving slowly between the hunter and the angel. “I figure he owes you some backstory.”

“Look, we were surrounded, okay?” Dean looked from Benny to Cas, brows arched in questioning. “Some freak jumped Cas. Obviously, he kicked its ass, right?”

“No.”

That was it. All it took to rip Dean Winchester’s heart from his chest. One word. One syllable. Two letters. Whispered with slight hesitance in the angel’s deep rasp.

A blank emptiness had settled over Dean’s face. “What?”

His shoulders heaved with the slight shake of his breath. “You… ran away?” Dean’s words slipped out as betrayal began to mix with rage inside the deepest workings of his mind.

“I had to.”

“That’s your excuse for leaving me with those gorilla-wolves?” the fury was swelling, bubbling away in his gut becoming harder to contain with each passing second. He’d spent nearly a year slaughtering his way through miles of forest and monsters he had no name for, he didn’t want to hear he was alone because Cas ‘had to’ leave him.

“Dean – “

“You bailed out and, what, went camping?” he paused, seething anger invading every cell of his composition as he considered the words he was about to say. “I prayed to you, Cas, every night!” those prayers had been desperate pleas for help. Breakdowns in which Dean had been brought to his knees confessing his needs… Confessing his love. He remembered the times he had prayed to Cas with fists clenched so tight, his knuckles whited out like bone as he fought off angry tears.

“I know.”

“You know and you didn’t…” Dean cut himself short, reeling in what he nearly said. Cas knew. Cas heard every time Dean had thought to the angel 'I need you, because I love you, Cas.’

He squared up his shoulder and set his jaw. “What the hell’s wrong with you?”

“I am an angel in a land of abominations! There have been things hunting me from the moment we arrived.”

“Join the club!” Dean hissed. That was no excuse. No excuse for hearing someone choke out confessions of love and cries for help.

“These are not just monsters, Dean. They’re Leviathan. I have a price on my head, and I’ve been trying to stay one step ahead of them, to – ” Cas’ body seemed to freeze for a split second, averting his eyes from Dean, as if he was considering whether or not what he was about to say would be too much. He began to speak again, his voice coming out much softer, “To keep them away from you.”

The words hit Dean like a big rig semi-truck going full speed nearly knocking the breath from his chest. His entire body seemed to relax upon realizing that Cas was ignoring him because of the fact that he felt just as much need to keep Dean safe as Dean felt toward him.

“That’s why I ran. Just leave me, please.”

Dean could feel Cas’ heartbreak through the static in the air and it was heavy.

“Sounds like a plan. Let’s roll.” Benny agreed, keener on the idea of not dealing with Cas than he had ever been.

“Hold on, hold on.” His eyes didn’t leave Cas for a second. “Cas, we’re getting out of here. We’re going home.”

Dean wasn’t exactly sure what home even was, but he was going to find it with Cas.

“Dean, I can’t.”

“You can! Benny, tell him.”

“Purgatory has an escape hatch, but I got no idea if it’s angel-friendly,” Benny informed Cas, being sure to tack on that extra bit about not being sure if he could pass through it or not.

“We’ll figure it out. Cas, buddy, I need you.”

He said it out loud to Cas himself. He needed him. He needed him for no other reason than being completely in love with him. Cas had messed up, but he was trying.

“Dean…” Cas’ features fell into a look of sorrow as his voice tapered off unable to find words to finish.

“And if Leviathan want to take a shot at us, let ‘em.” A tiny smile turned up one side of Dean’s mouth.

He believed with every part of himself that they could get out of Purgatory together and alive.

“We ganked those bitches once before. We can do it again.”

He believed in Cas.

“It’s too dangerous.”

Dean’s eyes narrowed. “Let me bottom-line it for you. I’m not leaving here without you.” Dean made direct eye contact with Cas in attempt to establish that there was no choice between all or nothing. They were getting out. All of them.

“Understand?”

“I understand.”

Someone stop me from thinking so hard about this stupid show

I was just watching Shut Up, Dr. Phil in my rewatch and I had a terrible realization about Sam’s side of things in the aftermath of Amy’s death as it relates to his perspective on Dean’s spiraling behavior.

So, the first time we see Dean in the episode he’s having the nightmare about Cas, Sam’s hallucinations, and killing Amy. These flashes spell out for the audience what’s dragging Dean down throughout the episode. Sam comments constantly throughout the episode about Dean’s drinking and tries multiple times to get him to open up, until very plainly bringing it up to Dean at the end.

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