levi or erwin

thisbirdhadflown  asked:

eruri, 7

This isn’t exactly the prompt but it’s close enough. 

Fake dating 5+1 trope. 


“I can’t believe you talked me into this,” Levi gripes.

“This was entirely your idea, and a favor I’m doing for you,” Erwin reminds him as he parks the car.

Erwin cuts the ignition and gets out. While Levi’s still undoing his seatbelt, his door suddenly opens. Erwin’s holding it for him like he’s a fucking chauffeur.

Levi glares. “That’s a little over the top, don’t you think?”

“Just trying to play my part properly.”

Levi rolls his eyes. A fake dating scheme sounds like something wacky that Hanji would do – and, granted, it was Hanji’s idea. But he needed someone to go to his office holiday party with so he’d have an excuse to avoid talking to people, and Erwin volunteered. And if he gets to watch his shitty coworkers’ mouths drop open when he walks in with a hot man on his arm, well, so much the better.

Levi gets out of the car and sees people he knows (and hates) already walking through the parking lot. The sight gives Levi all the motivation he needs to put his hand in Erwin’s.

Erwin raises it to his lips and casually kisses Levi’s knuckles.

“What was that?” Levi whispers as they walk to the restaurant.

“That,” Erwin says, “was selling the performance.”


“So, you two …” Patricia from Accounting looks between Erwin and Levi. For some reason, she’s having trouble accepting that they’re a couple. She’s also looking at Erwin a bit too much for Levi’s liking.

Levi puts a hand on Erwin’s arm and stares Patricia down. Erwin responds by kissing Levi’s temple as though it’s the most natural, normal thing in the world.

“We started dating about six months ago,” Erwin says, drawing attention to himself so no one notices Levi’s pink cheeks.


Levi brings Erwin his drink. Erwin kisses Levi’s cheek in response. “Selling the performance,” he whispers as he pulls away.


Later it’s Erwin’s turn to buy the drinks. Levi’s feeling warm with the alcohol. He’s even managing to get along with Paul from sales. And when Erwin hands him his drink, standing on his toes and delivering a cheek kiss– for the performance, of course – feels like the easiest thing in the world.


The CEO is giving some kind of talk about how he appreciates all their hard work that year. Levi pulls Erwin to the back of the crowd, away from his notice.

“Does he usually talk this much?” Erwin murmurs.

Levi leans against Erwin so they can whisper without being heard. “He’s a fucking windbag. Can’t get enough of his own voice.”

Erwin smiles. “It’s been interesting to see what your company is like. Now I can put faces to all your complaints.”

Levi snorts. He doesn’t move away from his perch against Erwin’s chest, even though they’re done talking. The CEO’s voice becomes white noise, drifting out of his attention, but Erwin’s presence is vivid beside him.

“Thanks for doing this,” Levi murmurs.

“My pleasure.”

The speech ends. Levi’s coworkers gives an obligatory but unenthusiastic round of applause. Erwin plants an unexpected kiss on the top of Levi’s head.

Levi looks up at him. “Selling the performance?”

“Of course.”


They get into the car. Levi rubs his hands together, waiting for the heat to turn on. “That was a lot less miserable with you there. If I ever need a fake boyfriend again I know who to call.”

Erwin looks at Levi. He seems to consider something.

“What is it?”

Erwin delivers a kiss on Levi’s lips, a casual peck carried out as though it’s the most natural, normal thing in the world.

Levi freezes. Despite the lack of heat in the car, he’s suddenly very warm. “I don’t think we need to sell the performance anymore.”

“I know,” Erwin says.

Erwin kisses him again. And it feels only natural for Levi to kiss him back.

  • Levi: Erwin told me he loved me. Who does that? Don't you see? He's trying to get me to trust him so he can let me down.
  • Hanji: Crazy idea: you could just say "I love you" back.
  • Levi: Yeah, but then if it doesn't work out, I'll have to kill him, go to jail, break out, and kill you for giving me that advice.
  • Hanji: I love how our relationship is based predominately on threats.