Why Can't I Own A Canadian?

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It’s funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,

Homosexuality is a sin, because someone didn't know Hebrew well.

The translations of this verse found in most English

Bibles are not supported by the Hebrew text.

Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with

womankind: it is abomination. (KJV)

Correct translation:

And with a male, thou shalt not lie down in

a woman’s bed; it is an abomination.

   Below, we have given a word by word translation of thisverse:

ואת זכר לא תשכב משכבי אשה תועבה הִוא 

V’et-zachar lo tishkav mishk’vei ishah to’evah hu


Yes, here comes a major rant about homophobia. I am bloody sick to death of hearing people or having people tell me that its wrong! Like hell is it wrong! Now lets use some of your arguments against you and see what you think of it. In the Bible it says in Leveticus 18:22 it says ’Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable’. However later in the exact same book it says love everyone for who they are. Now I ask you, does homosexuality actually seem wrong if you look at it from the point of view that it is two people in love, living together, living for each other, making one another happy through all the grief they are given? They are happy together so why should they be subject to your hate because you are not open minded? People need to open their eyes to modern society because as time goes on, more people are coming out and realising the world is not a homosexual safe place which is should be. It should be accepting of everyone, no matter what their differences to the rest of the world. Homosexuality is found in over 456 species worldwide, however homophobia is found in only one, humans. Now think about calling it wrong again once you have read this and think is it really wrong when its happening all over the world within multiple species. If its Gods will that homosexuality is wrong, then why would he allow other animals to do it?