level iii

What I want to be:

Reliable like Mahiru
Loving like Lily
Versatile like Mikuni
Dedicated like Licht
Confident like Hugh

What I really am:

Lazy like Kuro
Stuck up like Misono
Emo like Sakuya
Easily bored like Tsubaki
Nerveous wreck like Lilac

The one you’ve been waiting for

I’m going kind of slow with my season 12 rewatch. Actually, I just finished watching 12x05 and some things caught my attention despite the episode being a filler. The plot wasn’t so interesting to me when I first watched it. I remember quite painfully how it happened after the U.S. presidential election last November and how the whole Hitler thing became a little tasteless. However, the episode did have three things worth talking about.

1)      Sublimation is kind of Dean’s thing.

Sam gave a name to what Dean was doing. In 12x04, Dean was obviously cranky and very much affected by Mary’s decision to leave (in 12x03). Through the case in 12x04, Dean learned that sometimes families need space, which was what Mary was asking for herself, so he decided to roll with it even if he didn’t like it.

In 12x05, we didn’t see cranky!Dean anymore. However, every time Dean says ‘no’ to food he’s being offered, it’s an immediate sign that something is wrong. Sam offered him scrambled or fried eggs, and Dean said he wasn’t hungry. Sam was suspicious about it, so he offered pie and Dean declined. That was the alarm Sam needed. Pie is Dean’s comfort food and he was denying himself that.

The problem was that when Sam tried to talk to Dean about their mom, Dean didn’t allow it. Dean started talking about the case and easily diverted a complicated conversation that he definitely wasn’t ready to have. When Sam tried a last time and Dean stopped him, Sammy called him out on what he was doing and said that was called sublimation. Dean didn’t deny it, though. He easily admitted that it was his thing.

What I find interesting about this is that sublimation is a defense mechanism, but it’s considered a mature one. The psychiatrist George Eman Vaillant introduced a four-level classification of defense mechanisms:

Level I – pathological defenses (denial, delusional projection)

Level II – immature defenses (fantasy, projection, passive aggression, acting out)

Level III – neurotic defenses (intellectualization, reaction formation, dissociation, displacement, repression, compensation)

Level IV – mature defenses (humor, sublimation, suppression, altruism, anticipation)

The Level IV defense mechanisms are commonly found among emotionally healthy adults and are considered mature, even though many have their origins in an immature stage of development. The use of these defenses enhances feelings of control. These defenses help to integrate conflicting emotions and thoughts, whilst still remaining effective.

If we ever doubted that season 12 would focus a lot on Dean’s growth, I think this is proof that the writers knew what they wanted to do with our Dean since the beginning of the season. Dean has used denial, projection, passive aggression, displacement, repression, and compensation a lot in previous seasons. He’s used humor, suppression, and maybe other defense mechanisms as well, but why did Sam mention “sublimation” specifically this time?

Sublimation allows a person to channel stress toward something productive. It takes the energy of something potentially harmful and turns it into something good and useful. In other words, Dean was hurting because of what Mary decided. He felt abandoned again, and he felt like a disappointment; he wasn’t the son Mary wanted him to be. Probably somewhere inside his head the words “not enough” were making an appearance. However, instead of being sorry for himself or hiding in a bottle, Dean decided to move on and keep saving people.

Dean desperately needed a win, and he got one by killing none other than Hitler. It’s obvious to me now why Dean easily understood and defended Cas in 12x19. Cas needed a win just as much as Dean needed one in this episode. He felt such satisfaction after a job well done that he was willing to give himself some pie at the end. He even said that he DESERVED some pie.

That was Dean starting to voice the things that he deserved and the things that he didn’t. All of that led to Dean saying out loud in 12x22 that his childhood wasn’t FAIR. We’ve always said that Dean deserved to be a child, but he never was because he had to be more than a brother for Sam; he had to be a father and a mother, and it wasn’t fair. It was glorious to see Dean finally saying it and finally forgiving the one person that unknowingly caused all that.

It’s no coincidence that this was the first episode where Dean wanted to use the grenade launcher and Sam didn’t let him. (The second episode where Dean got a negative was in 12x11, penned by the same writer of 12x05). Sam promised Dean that he would get the chance to use it. It’s like Dean wasn’t ready to tear down his internal walls. He got to use the grenade launcher in 12x22, the same episode where Dean finally faced his mother and told her how he really felt.

So if Dean needed to kill Hitler to realize that he really deserved a pat on the back and some pie, then all I have to say is thank you Meredith Glynn for this episode!

2)      Dean’s visual association to ships.

Once Dean and Sam went to the antique store, what was something that caught Dean’s attention? A ship.

Seriously, they could have chosen any object, any object. Why would they choose a ship? A ship that Dean accidentally knocked down, tried to pick up, and dramatically failed? A ship that wasn’t even related to anything relevant to the episode plot-wise?

Then Dean kept walking around in the store and what caught his eye again? Another ship! 

It’s just that this time Dean refrained himself from touching it because he remembered the damage he’d caused some seconds before.

You might say that it was just the “haha” moment of the episode. Look at Dean making a fool of himself because he’s careless. But why not use a vase or any other thing like that? Why a ship? I’m ready to bet that wasn’t a coincidence.

 3)      I’ll never be good enough.

There’s a reason Sam connected with Ellie and Dean kind of connected with Christoph (the Nazi necromancer’s son). Sam was the one who could relate to Ellie for being Hitler’s descendant. Dean was the one who could relate to Christoph’s words: “All I do is try to make [my father] proud, I’ll never be good enough.” 

Dean who always tried to make John proud and failed. Dean who now wanted to make his mother proud and was failing (in Dean’s eyes the fact that Mary left was because Dean wasn’t good enough; he wasn’t the son Mary wanted him to be).

As his father said about Christoph, the boy had spine after all. He didn’t quietly accept everything his father said. Before the Winchesters caught him, he was saying these things to his father over the phone:

“That is not fair. You know, I try with you, I really do. But you expect me to be a mind reader, and it’s exhausting.”

He voiced what he thought was an unfair treatment. When he was scolded for telling the Winchesters about Hitler, he didn’t remain quiet. He told his father he should be thanking him. He even told him he “used to look up to” him, meaning that he didn’t look up to him anymore. His father called him an unconceivable disappointment and that was when he realized he would never be enough, but he wasn’t willing to simply accept death for that reason.

Christoph was a mirror for everything Dean would have to experience for the rest of season 12. He voiced what Dean didn’t say, but we know he was definitely feeling in this particular episode: all Dean did was try to make his parents (now his mother) proud, but he’ll never be good enough.

The rest of season 12 would prove Dean wrong in that regard. He didn’t have to do anything in particular. HE WAS ENOUGH JUST BY BEING DEAN WINCHESTER. I’m so proud of my boy! :’)

Sansa’s Psychological ‘Superpower’: Convincing herself shit isn’t quite as bad as it is

Throughout the main narrative and text of ASOIAF, we see Sansa Stark utilize defense mechanisms to survive being beat in front of the court (often enough that almost every member of the kingsguard had done it a few times), being touched by creepy old dudes often, and basically just suffering as a Prisoner of War.  We’re not here to chat about Sansa’s misgivings and mistakes (a young girl, age 11 in the start of AGOT), because there’s nothing to chat about with that - what I am here to chat about is Sansa’s “superpower”, and how it is basically the reason she’s alive.

(It’s not actually a superpower, she’s psychologically trying to ‘safeguard’ herself by pretending that s h i t  i s n ‘ t  b  a d, so just keep reading )

Keep reading

God, you know what gets me about the scene where Jean tells Warren that he’s bloodthirsty and that there’s nothing about his wings that compels him to kill, that it’s just his own murderous rage? It’s that Jean has been there, Jean has seen the blood on her own hands and said “No, this isn’t my fault, it wasn’t me,” but the truth is, that anger, that desire, that bright flame that was the Phoenix, that was Jean, too. And when Jean stands there and tells Warren the truth, with no judgment but no pity, she knows that she’s opening up, that she’s letting him see that they are the same, that their two souls, once so innocent, have both been warped by their own ability to kill.

harbingerofcookies  asked:

What exactly did Garrosh do that everyone dislikes him and what happened with Thrall that everyone calls him Orc Jesus

RIGHT, so, first of all, Garrosh Hellscream is Grommash “Grom” Hellscream’s son. Grom Hellscream is a HUGE fan favorite, and a really important character throughout the ages of the Warcraft franchise, starting with Warcraft II and culminating with his heroic sacrifice in Warcraft III. Both in and out of universe, Grom is A Big Deal. Grom and Thrall were best friends, and though Grom is Thrall’s senior in rank, age, and skill in battle, Grom respected Thrall’s wisdom and bravery, thus he followed him and what he intended to build out of the Horde. Grom is also the Chieftain of the Warsong clan. His final sacrifice freed the orcs of the demon’s control once and for all, striking down the Pit Lord Mannoroth and dying in the process, a foe Thrall could not even injure with his attacks. That’s like a very short summary because lore gets EXTENSIVE. All in all, Grom basically fucked up because he willingly gave himself to the demons for power twice (in WCII and in WCIII), but he fixed this himself after being shown reason, killing the demon with his own damn axe.

Now, here’s a thing you need to know about Thrall, and why we call him Orc/Green Jesus: He’s a very, legitimately good guy. He wants nothing more than peace between Horde and Alliance, he wants to distance the Orcs from their past as Demonkind pawns, he wants to work hand in hand with the other races. Debuting in Warcraft III as the Orc protagonist, Thrall used to be an orc, well, thrall (another word for slave) that was raised by humans that killed his tribe and brought him back, himself a baby at that time, with them. Among Orcs, Thrall was particularly massive and strong, but also very smart. Being taught by humans, Thrall eventually escaped with the help of his human friend, Taretha Foxton, the daughter of the human wet nurse that nurtured him in captivity, and sought out the undefeated Grom Hellscream after learning about him from an orc in captivity. Grom told Thrall that he was from the Frostwolf clan (he knew this from the patterns in his tattered clothes), and sent him to where the remaining members of the exiled clan lived, and he also taught him the Orc language. Thrall, once he arrived to where his clan was, was revealed to be the son of Durotan, the Chieftain of the Frostwolves, and there, a frost wolf (massive damn wolves), Snowsong, chose him as her companion (she’s his mount). Thrall then made communion with the spirits of Wind, Earth, Water, Fire, and the Wilds, and became friends with them, becoming the first Shaman since the end of the First War (Warcraft I), as the Spirits had condemned the orc race after Gul’dan (yes, that mother fucker) corrupted the entire race and turned them into demonkind pawns. After this, he’s put to the test by an anonymous Orgrim Doomhammer (you know, Warchief of the Horde and final orc boss of Warcraft II), who approves of his strength and, during a liberation of orc captives later, names Thrall Warchief after dying in that fight. Then everything in Warcraft III happens, and man, THIS big paragraph is a VERY short summary, because you can talk about Thrall all day, a LOT of lore, but basically, he’s like ultimate chosen one and fully deserves that position. The last thing you need to know about his Green Jesusness is that the amazing, amazing last level of Warcraft III: Reign of Chaos can be summarized as “Thrall, Jaina, Tyrande, and Malfurion all put their differences aside and make the strongest team fucking EVER to stop Arthas, Kel’thuzad, and Archimonde’s Wild Wild Ride”, and the alliance between Orcs, Humans, and Night Elves here could only happen thanks to Thrall’s efforts (as well as some help from Medivh).

Then we have Garrosh.

Garrosh Hellscream eventually rose to become Thrall’s successor as the Horde’s Warchief. Thrall had high hopes for Garrosh, first appointing him as an advisor and then personally stepping down so Garrosh would become the Warchief. The first thing he does is basically spit in the face of every single effort Thrall has spent trying to prepare the Horde to make peace with the Alliance. He hates the Alliance, and wants to kill every single one of them like some mustache twirling miscreant in a black top hat. He goes and initiates the invasion of Pandaria (where the funny panda people, Pandarians, like Chen, are from), and during it, unleashes the Sha of Pride, basically a super-sealed evil who spread corruption and death across the entire continent, eating the souls of countless people. Later, he deployed a weapon called a Mana Bomb in Theramor, a Human Bastion in Horde-controlled territory, with which the Horde, due to Thrall, openly traded with. This was the deed that made even super traditionalist and cruel members of the Horde who want to just kill the shit out of humans say “hey what the fuck man”, and the last straw was broken. Garrosh literally nuked civilians. At that point, Thrall himself rallied the Horde against him, and he was accused of war crimes (of COURSE he was). The first time around, in Pandaria, he was sent to trial, but he escaped, and the second time, Thrall himself challenged him to a one on one duel, and killed the fuck out of him. Garrosh was stronger physically, but the thing about Thrall is that he’s also a really powerful spellcaster, and thus Garrosh died by being grabbed by giant earth hands and then struck by lightning.

TL:DR: Thrall is basically a nice guy who is just trying his best help out and Garrosh is a literal war criminal who nukes innocents.

“Vogue” - Orange County Performing Arts Academy mini jazz small group, 8th overall, Competitive Level, Showstopper Anaheim III, May 2017  
★ Choreography by Amy Gold
☆ Dancers ☆ Jamieson Deacy, Kendyl Fay, Naia Parker, Delaney Bojorquez, Rylee Young, Ella Montano, Hope Edwards, Kelsey Gampol, Lacy Stoico
Vogue, live 2008 ~ Madonna

[ blocked everywhere on YT due to the music, but here to enjoy ] 

Okay but I really need a Superman AU where Hunk is Superman and he has a big crush on Lois!Lance and like Lance shamelessly flirts with Superman and Hunk lowkey falls in love with Lance but never tells him even tho Lance found out who he was ages ago and was just waiting for Hunk to feel comfortable enough to tell him

((I also kinda really wanna see Hunk dressed in nerdy clothes and wearing bulky glasses like think Superman III level nerd, plz give him the pink sweater to tie around his neck))

My SHTF/shelter-in-place combat load. Shellback Tactical Banshee plate carrier w/ Level III TAP GAMMA SAPI plates and BDS tactical (battle/molle) belt. Shellback Tactical, and it’s former parent company Tactical Assault Gear (TAG) are from San Diego, CA. BDS Tactical is also from the SoCal area, due to the large. Marine Corps presence from Camp Pendleton, to MCAS Miramar and 29 Palms .

humanstuck gamkar thoughts
  • it isn’t until the fourth time an attempt to go further than kissing (you should, right, that’s how far you should be by now after officially dating for so long) turns into a tickle-fight that spans the entire apartment and ends with you sprawled on each other wheezing that you realize maybe this is really just completely stupid.
  • “Baba made us a cake,” says Gamzee, and holds out a cake in apology for dripping on your carpets.  It’s got an offensive amount of rainbows on it.  The icing, in Mr. Makara’s round, careful hand, says “CONGRATULATIONS GAY”.  You would be insulted except in the middle of all the rainbows he’s somehow found a way to print a photo of you and Gamzee cuddled up on the couch together and okay, the cake looks really good.
  • It take a long time for you to calm him down enough to make out words, but nobody stops to look at the two boys sitting on the park bench in the sunset.  Gamzee’s sobbing keeps their faces pointed toward the ground.  “–threw me out,” you make out finally, and think about his dad on TV, eyes wide and wild, pounding the pulpit and yelling about fire and torment for eternity.  You hold him tight, put your chin in his hair and just hold him as he sobs.
  • When you’re sixteen you find a hand-drawn manga lying on the floor of your group study room while you clean up, and it isn’t until page four of Nepeta’s painstakingly sparkly art you realize the dark-haired bishonen with the commanding eyebrows is you, and the flaxen-haired elegantly androgynous figure of his new romantic conquest is meant to be Gamzee.  
  • Your embarrassment that day is nothing compared to the next, when Gamzee picks it up and recognizes both of you instantly.  Out loud.  Loudly.  You have never seen Nepeta go that red.