letting go of comfortable

Save Me - Part 2 - Chapter 50

I didn’t care if Jared was sweaty. Or smelly. I just cared that he was here with me and that we were okay. My fingers played with the fabric of his shirt not wanting to let him go. I wanted to stay comfortably in his lap.

“I want to get you in bed, take a very quick shower then crawl in next to you.” He said, tilting my chin down and kissing my lips, “C'mon baby girl, it’s late. Up you go.”

I wanted to say ‘no’, to tell him how I felt but instead listened. I wanted to get back to what was familiar, what drew us so closely together in the first place. I craved my Sir.

“Yes, Sir.” I said quietly as I reached up for another kiss.

Sliding off his lap to stand, Jared was right behind me. Not wanting to break contact any more than I did, he placed his warm hand at the base of my neck. His thumb caressing my skin as we walked together made me happily sigh. Closing my eyes, his dominant touch gave me such a sense of peace and security.

I waited next to him as he pulled the blankets on the bed back then fluffed the pillow before turning his attention back to me.

“I won’t be long, baby girl.” Jared said quietly, his hands resting at my hips, “Don’t feel like you have to wait up.”

Before I could speak, a yawn snuck up on me right in his face. Internally, I cringed. Not my most graceful moment, that’s for sure.

“I’m sorry..” I said embarrassed as I covering my mouth with my hand ; my yawn turning into a giggle, “That was attractive.”

“You’re always beautiful, even when you’re yawning in my face.” Jared whispered with a smile, “C'mon sleepyhead.”

I could almost feel the ease falling over us and it honestly made me feel so light. So relaxed, comfortable.

Jared reached for the tie on my robe pulling it apart and allowing it to fall open. Even though the room was dim, I could see his eyes darken as he gazed at my naked body. That look in his eyes, instantly sent a pulse of desire through my entire being. Taking one lapel in each hand, he gently pushed the fabric off my shoulders then tossed it on the foot of the bed.

“God you’re beautiful…” Jared murmured as he took a step closer, slipping his hands around my waist.

Pulling my body to him, his hands began to wander across my skin. Pressing his nose against my neck, I could feel his breath flutter on my skin between kisses. My arms wrapped around his waist and as I pushed myself to him, my need to be close to him taking my senses over.

Standing there together as we gently touched, trading kisses between murmured sighs, I could feel my anticipation running down the inside of my thighs. Shifting my stance just slightly, I could feel his stiff cock against my hip as I rocked my hips into him.

I was glad I wasn’t the only one completely turned on, it was almost embarrassing how quickly my body reacted to his touch.

“Mine…” Jared murmured.

“Yes, yours..” I whispered, “Only yours.”

I kissed along Jared’s shoulder while my hands delicately wandered across his back. I wanted all of him. The feel of his fingertips tracing and invisible path up my arms, leaving goosebumps in his wake, thoughts of sleep were the last thing on my mind. Right now, I was totally consumed with him.

“Baby..” Jared whispered as he pulled slightly back.

Bringing his hands to circle my collarbone, he using his thumbs to caress my cheeks as he brought his lips to mine. I parted them, waiting for him to taste me again but instead I felt him pull back a little further as he brought his forehead to mine.

Even remotely backing away was definitely not what I was expecting.

“Time for bed, baby girl.” He said, gently kissing my lips, “Let me tuck you in.”

Wait….what was that?! I didn’t understand.

“But..but… No, please…”

That’s what I said to him. What I was actually thinking was ‘What. The. Fuck.’

I didn’t want sleep, I wanted him. I wanted to fuck away the memories of the day. Passion gave way to anger as he took a small step back, giving me room to step around him so I could get into bed. It took all I had not to grab onto his shirt and hold him to me.

I had every intention of obeying him ten minutes ago, before he riled me up. Now, I was second guessing.

“I told you, I’ll be quick.” He said stepping back further, “In you go.”

I stood rooted in place, hoping the unhappiness I felt at the moment was showing clearly on my face. I was literally on the verge of tears and a temper tantrum. For once today, I’d like ONE thing to go my way.

“Are you disobeying me?” Jared said, pulling his shoulders back and standing up straight.

As he cocked his head, his blue eyes wide, he was daring me. It only took our eyes connecting and I relented. I didn’t want to argue, there had already been plenty of that today. I didn’t want to be punished either.

With a sigh of resignation, I sat on the edge of the bed then lifted my feet up to slip between the blankets.

“Good girl.”

I was going to give it one more try despite knowing I’d be pushing my luck. I had to.

“Can’t I join you?” I asked, my fingers touching his as I looked up, hopeful he’d say what I desperately wanted to hear.

“No, baby. I’ll be quicker if you’re in bed.” Jared said with a sly smile.

I didn’t like that response but I knew better than to push any more. His decision was made and the discussion is over. Anything further from me would likely not go over well.

With a huff, I fell back into the pillows. Jared reached for the edge of the blankets, pulling them over my legs then tucking them around me.

“Good girl.” Jared said, kissing me on my forehead, “I won’t be long, I promise.”

Turning on his heels, he was already pulling his shirt over his head as he walked into the bathroom.

I had no other choice but to lay in bed and stew. It was beyond me how he could turn his body off like a light switch the way he does. At this point, I didn’t have that same talent. My pussy was still wet and aching with need and I was frustrated. With no other options, I curled on my side and closed my eyes, doing my best to calm myself down.

Aside from the sound of the water running in the shower, the room was dark and silent. Concentrating on that, I felt myself slowly drift into peacefulness as I waited for Jared to finish and finally join me.

It wasn’t until I felt his arm sliding under my head and his warm body against mine that I realized he was done and in bed with me. I must have dozed off after all.

With the arm he slipped under my head holding me in place against him, he used the other to move my long hair from my neck. In the most delicate touch you can imagine, he brushed his fingertips down my neck and across the ridge of my collarbone. Continuing down my chest to circle my nipple.

“Mmmm, your here..” I whispered as his fingertips then journeyed down my ribs and across my hip.

“I’m here, baby girl.” Jared replied as his hand reached my knee, pulling it back and allowing my leg to fall over his.

Parting my legs, I softly moaned in anticipation as his flattened hand smoothly glided up the inside of my thigh and gently towards my opening.

“I’m sorry baby,” Jared said as he kissed my neck then nipped at my shoulder, “Did I wake you?”

Based on @paperficwriter‘s Genos headcanon(s)!

Kitty was trying to be smooth (again) but the Princess knows all of his tricks. 

She is not going to fall for any, Chat. Maybe you should change your ways…

…altho who knows. There are many ways to fall.

Dupain-Cheng 6 - Agreste 1

Some Thoughts: Storm in the Room

With the reactions post-Storm in the Room, I feel that Steven doesn’t get enough credit. Going to Rose’s Room, searching for answers, and comfort even though he didn’t know that yet, Steven wasn’t setting out to create a perfect mother or project himself the ideal version of Rose. He starts, the moment he enters the room, by saying he knew it wasn’t real.

Everything Steven did with Cloud Rose, everything that happened between them, were reasonable assumptions we could make of Rose. And this is because the Rose we saw was from Steven’s expectations of what she would be like. And Steven was wary about idealising Rose the way the Crystal Gems did. He says this explicitly several times. Also, Steven’s view of Rose was tempered early on by Greg’s stories of her. 

So the Rose we see isn’t a sad Steven’s attempt at finding the perfect mother figure. Steven’s attempt at a reasonable and believable portrayal of Rose deserves to be acknowledged. Had it not been the case, the Rose we saw could not have evoked the feelings she did. It’s because of the depth Steven introduced to her from all his memories of her that it was made possible.

And what I want to talk about in this post, is how the images of Rose reflect which narratives he’s channeling as he tries to piece together, quite literally, the image of Rose.

The first appearance of Cloud Rose shows her with messy hair, parts of it stick up and around her. Her facial expressions are often wiggly, for lack of better word, and she shows her thighs a lot more than in the succeeding scenes, either in cross-sitting or running. 

This Rose is goofy and funny and casual. And it’s the Rose whom Greg’s stories have constructed in Steven’s memories. 

The same scenes we see Rose hitch up her dress in the same way (such as when she’s reading books with Greg on the bed) or similarly goofy, like stopping a ferris wheel with her bare hands, she’s with Greg. 

Even the line Steven takes from her video in Lion 3: Straight to Video, about “every X being unique and beautiful” is shot in Greg’s presence. Without realising it, Steven is remembering this image of Rose.

And she cares about Steven. She engages in his interests. It’s not so far a stretch because some episodes back, Bismuth was willing to do the same thing. Rose was a fun person. There’s a running joke that she would have loved cheesy and corny jokes. She probably told a few in her day. 

She probably wasn’t always as poised as presented in her portrait. Greg remembers the Rose he changed, when she was starting to understand human beings in earnest and come to terms with how they could exist with gems on the same level. 

Rose at that point still didn’t want to talk about her past, and Greg never made her. So Greg and Rose made new memories and didn’t dwell on the old. And those memories were filled with fun and laughter and love.

The moment sobers when it is Rose not Steven, who gestures the latter to sit down and stare at the expanse of clouds.

And we should know that what we’re about to see means something has changed. The first hint is that Rose’s body language changes. She sits perfectly straight, even though she’s cross-sitting the way she was earlier. And we don’t see her legs anymore. Her hair neatens and her expression calms.

What’s more, her hands assume the position Garnet did in Here Comes A Thought in Mindful Education. And that emphasises the kind of role Rose plays in this moment. Steven felt Rose taught Garnet how to manage her feelings, because it was a motherly thing to do. In a very Steven Universe fashion, the music changes from the bright xylophone to a quiet piano music, which is the mark of another Crystal Gem, Pearl. 

And when we go back to the senior Crystal Gems and their image of Rose, it is exactly the way she’s presented.

Cloud Rose is a huge presence, with Steven a small child by her side. She speaks deliberately, every word is one of wisdom. She is magnanimous and comforting at the same time. 

She tells him, “But we’ve been together the entire time.” And it brings back the idea of how our parents are always with us, and a part of us, because one way or another they’ve left a mark on us.

At the same time though, the similarities of the scenes between this moment and the one at Rose’s Fountain in An Indirect Kiss, lead to the same end.

Rose is viewed as a godly icon, very distant from Steven. She’s not sitting beside him, playing with him, kneeling on the ground anymore. He looks up to her, and he can’t reach her.

In both times, he realises she’s not really there. That he talked to the statue of Rose in the fountain, confided his deepest insecurities about how he didn’t know how to feel about her when everyone else did, parallels the empty image on his phone.

And it segues into the next scene perfectly.

Because Steven doesn’t know how to feel about Rose. Now, he’s more certain than ever that he doesn’t even know who she is. The Rose we see at the end has a blank face, because Steven can’t project anything on it. He’s thinking of Pink Diamond’s shattering, Bismuth, and the Rebellion, and all the people hurt by them.

When he sees Rose, he can no longer see himself, which is why her eyes, one of the facial features most like Steven’s, (next to his nose) are nowhere to be seen.

And this Rose is distant, because there’s no mitigating narrative linking him to her. In the other scenes, the room remained the same, because these stories he was told of Rose and who she was firmly rooted the first two Roses as part of the real Rose’s identity.

This Rose is foreign, because nowhere in those narratives did Steven think it possible to for her to do the things he learned she did.

And in that moment he begins to doubt. 

Because he can no longer see the image of his mother, he doesn’t know where he himself stands. A huge part of his identity is being Rose’s son. What happens when the “Rose” part becomes fuzzy, blurry, and unintelligible?

What happens to the Steven?

Notice that this Rose is silent. She offers no response to the accusations Steven hurls at her, about all the people she hurt and her act of leaving them all behind. 

At this point, we see the part of Steven that understands Rose is gone. That he’s never going to get these answers and there won’t be an explanation coming from her.

There are some things he’ll never get to hear about, some memories he’ll never know, some experiences he’ll never share with her.

And it’s sad and disheartening and lonely. In losing his idea of Rose, Steven loses a part of his identity. Such that he felt it would be better if he denounced Rose, cutting off the part of himself he didn’t want to think about: That he was created just to fix her mistakes.

It’s then that we see Rose’s face for the first time since we’ve entered the paradigm of Rose-through-Steven’s eyes. Not Greg’s, not the Crystal Gem’s. Because these new things he’s learned about Rose are things the others would never have known without him. How else would they have heard the Diamond’s song of mourning? How would they have known Bismuth was there all along?

And the things Rose said in the tape were meant for Steven, in a space only Steven could find.

The Rose speaking to Steven at the end is the Rose who’s already spoken to Steven directly before, through the tape.

A lot of negative reaction has been given to this moment, because it feels as though the tape absolves Rose of everything she’s done. It doesn’t and I don’t feel that was the point.

The point of her saying that, was to reaffirm Steven’s belief in Steven. To show that it wasn’t about Rose anymore, that Steven’s birth wasn’t about Rose but about him.

And it’s striking that’s the only time we see her face again. Because immediately after, Steven hugs her, and her face is obscured. 

That’s Steven’s recognition that he’s never going to hear any other words straight from his mother for him. He understands and he realises that nonetheless, Rose is exerting a presence in his life. He really is always with her and never alone. 

The past few episodes and everything leading up to them were about Steven’s realising his mother was still an individual, one who could made mistakes and rash, selfish decisions. 

He was afraid that upon realising his mother could be a selfish individual, could do huge selfish things that affected thousands of lives, he feared the act of his birth, the most personal thing about him, was meant to serve her self-interests alone too. He needed a concrete and tangible answer, which was what prompted him to go to the room. 

At the end of the episode, he didn’t think that anymore. He knows he has a lot of work ahead in figuring out Rose’s place in his life, but the lingering doubt of the very foundation of his existence is gone.

And because of that, he finally feels comfortable letting her go.

I hated you so much that I forgot about your good qualities. I forgot you even had good qualities. So when you came up to me, eagerness filling what awkward tension I’d created, I turned toward the other direction and gestured for you to follow me. Small talk became our normal, until you asked how sick I was, while you folded me into a hug and within a matter of half a second it hit me, this is what I’ve been missing out on. That void you created two years ago disappeared, and in replacement heartbreak took its place. Your hug didn’t convey sexual desire or wanting something more, but instead an undying passion and a need for the one person who truly knows you to stay. And I guess that’s what I’ve been needing, because you are the first in such a long time to comfort me with actions instead of words, the first to tighten your grasp around my waist instead on letting go when I started to get comfortable. The crease in your neck feels like home, a place where only you and I can escape. I"m not going to give you an “I love you” or “I want you back” because that’s far from how I feel, but I will say this: The moment you walked back in, the moment I started feeling the way I should. You’re far from what I want, but you know what I need. Denial had taken a place within my undeveloped mind for so long yet when it slipped away, the sudden realisation came to me that maybe you do know me better than I know myself, like you’d always exclaimed to me in moments of pure sadness. I don’t know whether it’s a good or bad thing, or whether I should be happy or not, and this may be the last time I write about you but please don’t leave. You’ve destroyed me in a matter of seconds, but you also know how to rebuild me. I am a mental catastrophe, a psychedelic mess, and I can’t bare people leaving anymore. Not when I have no one left.

This was so sweet my teeth hurt~ Thanks for this! X3

-Admin Bloo~

Yoosung

  • After a long gaming session on LOLOL, both of you were shocked to see how late it had become.
  • “It’s really late.” “Yeah, it is.” “…” “Do you want to stay over…?” “Uh, yeah…sure”
  • SAVE THESE AWKWARD SOULS.
  • Eventually, it is decided that you guys will have a sleepover in the living room!
  • There was about two feet distance when you both first settled in.
  • That shrunk to a few centimeters in the morning.
  • Apparently, you both hadn’t anticipated how cold it would be. So you unconsciously snuggled into each other overnight.
  • Morning comes in, and you are just unwilling to let go of the warmth, burying yourself deeper in.
  • Your hair tickles Yoosung’s nose, and it wakes him up.
  • He sleepily pats your head, trying to identify what it is.
  • And you look up to see what’s happening, and find his bright purple eyes staring back at you.
  • You can feel his breath fanning your cheeks; there is barely any distance between you two.
  • Then you both jump out and try to pretend that didn’t happen.
  • Both of you were a blushing, stammering mess everywhere for the rest of the morning.

Zen

  • He was so excited to have you sleep over for the night.
  • He insisted that you sleep next to him on his bed, it is more comfortable than either of them on the couch.
  • He knew that he couldn’t take it too far; you had only just met face-to-face.
  • When morning came, you noticed that he had an arm wrapped tightly around your waist.
  • You turned around to find him awake; smiling at you.
  • “Good morning, MC” He whispers as he pulls you closer to press a light kiss on the forehead.
  • While you were in the shower, Zen was congratulating himself while preparing a light breakfast.
  • He was feeling very smug.
  • Take that, trustfund kid. I am a real gentleman.
  • Only to drop whatever he was holding the minute he sees you in his spare clothes since you had nothing to change into.

Jaehee

  • You two were planning to binge-watch the entirety of any musical Zen has ever been in.
  • You were slightly skeptical of making it through ALL of them, but Jaehee was STOKED.
  • You both settled comfortably into the couch with some food within easy reach.
  • Of course, an ENTIRE NIGHT of binge watching is impossible.
  • So you both fell asleep at around 3 am, in the middle of Jalapenos no less.
  • Jaehee was the first to wake up at the crack of dawn with a horrible pain in her neck.
  • Rubbing it, she realized that you had curled up into her side, and she fell asleep while resting her head on yours
  • The drool on your face caused her to chuckle a bit, and she grabbed a tissue to wipe it off.
  • After preparing two mugs of coffee, she gently shakes you awake.
  • You could definitely get used to waking up to that smell every morning

Jumin

  • You had come to his penthouse while he was at work to set up for your first month together.
  • When he had come home to you greeting him at the doorstep with Elizabeth 3rd in your hands, he felt so tender and content and so at home.
  • You both had a fine dinner date overlooking the view from the penthouse, and chatted the night away.
  • Jumin invited you to stay over, since the guest bedroom was always prepared for you.
  • But, maybe you both had a bit too much wine that night.
  • You couldn’t let go of each other.
  • When both of you had changed into something comfortable, you settled yourself under his covers while he slept on top.
  • Eventually, you got him to come under the covers as well.
  • When you woke up in the morning, you reached out to find the bed empty.
  • You couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed that he was not the first thing you saw in the morning.
  • You then trod to the kitchen to find him with his shirtsleeves rolled up and wearing a pink frilly apron, flipping pancakes.
  • “Good Morning, MC. I hope you slept well.” He smiled and brought a pile of pancakes to the table.

707/Luciel

  • “Prepare yourselves for the ultimate sleepover held by your very own defender of justice, 707!”
  • Saeran just gave you a look and said “I’m going to my own room.” And pat your shoulder pitifully. savageSaeran
  • You both just lay on his bed and talked about anything and everything in the dark, under his collection of glow in the dark galaxies mapped across the bedroom ceiling.
  • Eventually, you drift off to sleep, and he drapes a comforter on top of both of you and is knocked out as well.
  • You’re the first one to rise in the morning, and are immediately greeted by the sight of a drooling and snoring tomato-head.
  • He has efficiently tangled you tightly though, so you have no way of immediate escape.
  • Instead, you just look at his sleeping face, commiting the image in front of you to memory.
  • You’re still not used to seeing him without his glasses on, so you lightly trace a vague outline of them on his face.
  • When you reach the bridge of his nose, his face scrunches up a bit.
  • The sight is too much; you start giggling softly.
  • This wakes him up, and he feel like he is flying.
  • Seeing your beautiful smile first thing in the morning is literally heaven.
  • He pulls you in tighter, jokingly threatening to never let you go. You play along, lightly shrieking as he tickles you a bit.
  • You are both interrupted by a loud knocking on the door.
  • Feed the hungry Edgelord™
flickr

to grasp and let go by Rona Keller
Via Flickr:
Around this time last year we found a beautiful little tulip field in the middle of a park. :)

i don’t think michonne gets much recognition from the fandom as a whole for how strong she is. and i don’t mean in a physical/she’s a warrior goddess way. i mean mentally and emotionally. the women on this show get praised so much (rightfully so) for how strong they are after losing people but never michonne… they all lost siblings, parents, lovers. but yall… michonne lost her BABY. i cannot even imagine the pain. the mother child bond is so strong. there’s no other love like it imo. no love as powerful. ik we don’t know what happened exactly but imagine. she wanted to protect him and couldn’t. can you imagine the guilt and pain she felt? and most likely still feels? and the feeling of emptiness and loss? oh my god. i’m so happy rick has finally found his soulmate in her. but i’m even happier for michonne. she’s not only found her soulmate, but someone to confide in and mourn with. someone to be vulnerable and let go with. she’s found comfort in judith and carl, and in turn they’ve gotten that much needed maternal love back in their lives. this shit is just so beautiful and they all fit together like a puzzle it makes me cry.

Clueless

Request: Hey, I just love your imagines and could I request about a Sirius imagine where the two of them have been the closest of friends for years and Sirius loves her so one day he’s like “Fuck it” and runs over to her and kisses her and when they finally pull apart she goes “what took you so long?” THANK YOU SO MUCH (sorry this was so specific) 😍😍😍😍😂

Word Count: 4,170

***************************************************************************************

“Budge over,” Y/N gave Sirius a gentle nudge as she tried to sit down next to him in the common room. “But I’m so comfortable,” Sirius smirked, stretching out even further across the couch. “Sirius,” Y/N whined. She tried to shove him to one side of the couch, but he wouldn’t budge. “Fine,” she sighed dramatically before throwing herself into his lap and obnoxiously sprawling out on top of him. “Fine,” He laughed, not bothering to try to move her. “Are you going to move now?” She asked him triumphantly. “Mm, nope. Don’t think so,” he shrugged. “Okay, I tried,” Y/N sighed, moving to stand up, but Sirius wrapped his arms and legs around her so she couldn’t move. “No! Spend time with me!” He shouted, burying his face into her neck. “Then move!” She laughed, trying to squirm out of his grip. “But you’re so warm,” he whined, holding onto her tighter. “You are a pain, Sirius,” She shook her head with a laugh, but nonetheless stopped trying to escape his strong grip. “If you’re going to hold me captive here, can I at least get comfortable?” Y/N asked after a few minutes of silence. “I am not holding you captive, you love this,” Sirius corrected her. “But, yes. C'mhere,” He let go of her for only a second as she got comfortable on the couch, and began to reach for a book out of her bag on the floor.

“Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N don’t you dare reach for that horrid book,” Sirius warned. “You don’t even know what book it is!” Y/N protested. “I know that it is going to take your attention away from me, therefore it is horrid,” Sirius stated, matter-of-factly. “You’re so needy,” Y/N laughed, ruffling his hair. “Oi! Be careful with m'hair!” He whined, but made no effort to stop her from continuing to run her fingers through his locks. “Sirius, your hair is a mess. I couldn’t possibly do anything to mess it up,” she told him. “I like it messy,” Sirius pouted. “I’m making a statement,” he declared, causing the girl to laugh. “Yeah, okay. Whatever you say, buddy,” she laughed, patting his head before continuing to play with his hair. “Feels nice,” he admitted with a content sigh after a few minutes of more silence. Y/N nudged her nose against his head and hummed in acknowledgement. “Sleepy?” He asked her. “Little bit,” she admitted with a small nod. Sirius began to draw patterns on her arm with his fingers.

“For the record, I could have been reading this whole time,” she said sleepily after a few more minutes of silence. “No, you’re spending time with me,” Sirius pouted. “We aren’t even talking,” Y/N laughed. “We’re bonding!” Sirius cried dramatically. Y/N laughed and shook her head, but she snuggled into him, losing the energy to do anything but take a nap.


“Sirius!” A high pitched squeal woke Y/N from her peaceful nap.

Keep reading

sex with zach would include...

• a slow & passionate first time together where he makes sure everything is perfect

• zach never pushing you to do something you aren’t comfortable with

• zach knowing your body better than you do

• he’s all about making love rather than just fucking you

• him just appreciating every single inch of your body

• “you look so fucking pretty right now.”

• hand holding during the whole thing

• hickeys all over, bruises everywhere, scratches down his back

• him being comfortable enough to really let go when he’s with you. (like just imagine him letting out soft whimpers and moans & not being embarrassed)

• “it’s okay to be loud.”

• oral, oral and more oral

• “does that feel good, princess? tell me how good it feels.”

• zach wanting to give more than receive

• zach on top >>>

• hot and needy sex in the back of his car

• “i’m not hurting you, am i?”

• after sex cuddles

• “zach, why are you smiling like that?”
“i just really love you, that’s all.”

okay so i was having thoughts this morning about how i believe that obi-wan was probably t h e best master for anakin under the circumstances (and a few others) and how as much as i hate predestination, if you accept anakin as (one of?) the chosen one(s), then he is fated to bring about the fall of the Jedi - cos you can’t have balance when the lightside outnumbers the darkside by as much as it does. and i started thinking about how what if the universes where obi-wan is his master greatly delays him fucking off to the darkside and bringing about the end of the Order? well, he was all of 23 when that happened, which means in other universes, where obi-wan is not his master, he probably abandons the order much younger than that.

okay, so - an au where.

an au where qui-gon lives. despite reasons why it probably wouldn’t happen, he becomes anakin’s master, obi-wan fucks off to do Knight Things and Grow As His Own Person. anakin has his canonical crisis of faith and great realization that being a jedi is difficult and not actually all that he thought it was going to be. he fucks off from the order - say around the age of fifteen?

qui-gon, despite everything, goes off to hunt him. despite this “betrayal”. after all, anakin is the chosen one, right? so he even goes so far as to call in obi-wan to help him find anakin. meanwhile, anakin is employing every last trick in the book to remain out of reach. he won’t go back - he won’t. he can do more good out there in the galaxy, instead of tied down by the (hostile, tbh) jedi order.

it just so happens that obi-wan finds him. rather than try to arrest him or anything (leaving the order is not a ‘take into custody’ offense, as obi-wan well knows) and actually talks to anakin about the reasons why he’s fucked off. he finds the reasons understandable. besides, becoming a jedi is not being conscripted. anakin has the right to leave if he feels like it. obi-wan tells him that it’s fucking dangerous for a half-trained force sensitive out there in the wild galaxy, but when anakin doesn’t change his mind (because he’s hella stubborn tbh) obi-wan is just like “welp” and lets him go. he tells qui-gon he never found anakin, but that it’s really unreasonable to hunt the kid down for fucking off. it’s another thing that qui-gon and obi-wan don’t see eye-to-eye with.

so that’s that, right? they’ll never see the chosen one again.

but wait, there’s more. So of course the Sith find anakin. he must bring balance to the force. Dooku and Sidious play bad cop/good cop until anakin is firmly under Sidious’ thumb. (presumably, Qui-gon would have found nine hundred different ways to keep anakin away from palpatine, who might even have been the one to plant the idea of running off into anakin’s head on the few times when he was allowed to speak with the kid). anakin goes corrupt, as you do when siths are fucking with your head, and the story proceeds.

here it is, the fall of the jedi order, and order 66.

ymmv what happens to qui-gon. does he live through even this? or is he shot down protecting obi-wan? in either case, obi-wan survives as he tends to, trying to regroup with the rest of the surviving Jedi. of course, you have this wretched sith lord, Darth Vader, hunting them all down. his skill with a blade is unparalleled. no jedi who has faced him has survived.

when he finds them, obi-wan stays back, sacrificing himself to save the others. and yet, to his surprise, darth vader does not kill him. darth vader himself does not understand entirely why, only that once when he was very young, a jedi heard him out and let him go.

he does not let obi-wan go, but neither does his blade fall.