letters to sara

Ho deciso di scriverti questa lettera perchè mi sono resa conto di avere ancora troppe cose da dirti. Ormai non è più un segreto che ho ricevuto una bella batosta in amore, anche i muri sono stufi di sentirmi parlare sempre di te. La mia stessa mente non ne può più di pensieri che ti riguardano,dubito fortemente che tu vorrai soffermarti su queste parole che ti scrivo perchè hai cancellato ogni traccia di noi..quel noi durato troppo poco e svanito troppo in fretta.
Mi piace ricordare come mi cercavi subito dopo che io andavo via da te. Mi piace ripensare alle lunghe telefonate prima di andare a dormire. Eri più folle tu di me. Eri quello che si era affezionato per primo e io quella fredda  e diffidente. Come sono cambiate le cose.
Eri curioso di conoscermi, ricordi? Dei nostri 900 Km di distanza non te ne importava nulla. Volevi stare in mia compagnia, volevi che ti accompagnassi ovunque. Ci eri rimasto male per una mia piccola assenza. Dubito fortemente che due persone possano entrare così in sintonia in così poco tempo. Eravamo già una cosa sola, senza nessun anno di conoscenza alle spalle. Ogni momento con te è stato magico, come in una favola che non avevo mai vissuto prima. Ho creduto ad ogni tua parola, ad ogni tua promessa. Hai disciolto le mie barriere e i miei dubbi come nessuno era mia riuscito a fare.Non è da me perdere la testa: sia perchè non mi fido mai così tanto e poi perchè voglio sempre tener sotto controllo tutto. Ma ci sei riuscito e non può essere un caso. Troppe coincidenze. Troppi attimi vissuti che sono stampati sulla mia anima.
Che poi, io lo sapevo che non poteva durare molto. Una persona con una mente iperattiva come la tua si sarebbe stufata presto di non vedere la persona amata a lungo. Solo che ho sempre creduto che ne valesse la pena. Ero così schifosamente felice del nostro amore, che io non ci avrei mai rinunciato. Io ero collegata a te, non so come.  
Ricordo ancora quel giorno in cui mi hai detto “ci sta un'altra” e non so neanche io cosa dovevo dire o fare,so solo che iniziai a piangere fra le braccia della mia migliore amica. 
Tu non lo sai ma tutt'ora mi sento inferiore a lei. 
Mi sento imperfetta,sbagliata e non all'altezza. 
Quando al telefono mi parlavi di lei,quando mi dicevi che per te lei era la tua medicina, mascheravo tutto il dolore dietro ad un sorriso e quando chiudevi scoppiavo a piangere come una bambina. 
Quello che mi lascia più interdetta è il tuo comportamento: mi hai lasciata tu,da un giorno all'altro, mi distruggi giorno dopo giorno e sei geloso se qualcuno mi parla o mi fa sorridere.
Tu mi manchi,la tua mancanza si sente dentro le ossa e fa male,male da morire, è passato un mese da quando è finito tutto eppure io parlo ancora di te,penso a te.
Ricordi quando mi dicevi: “se andiamo al mare e porto la macchinetta fotografica, farei foto a te e non al paesaggio.” e quanti sorrisi in quel momento ma si sa,c'è chi di parola e chi di parole e tu sei soltanto di parole. Sei fatto di promesse non mantenute e di parole buttate al vento e mi dispiace dire questo ma è così la realtà.È durata meno del previsto, sono dispiaciuta, ma la scelta è stata tua e io non ho nulla da rimproverarmi. Hai i fatti tuoi, hai la tua vita e, anche se non vuoi ammetterlo, non mi hai trattata molto bene. Non che mi aspettassi chissà che cosa. Ma se a qualcuno dispiace di aver spezzato un cuore, fa quel che può per alleviare il dolore, non lo fa aumentare con una conditina di menefreghismo. Il che ovviamente fa sorgere la domanda spontanea: ma chi sei dunque? Lo stesso che fino a poco tempo fa sembrava morire senza di me? Ma non sono più affari miei. Hai deciso. E io ho capito che è finita. Mi manchi, indubbiamente. A te probabilmente no. Passerà anche questa, ma mi riservo di scriverti ancora qualche lettera, giusto per sfogarmi un po’.
—  Sara,400fottutichilometri.
We must live it, now, a day at a time and be very careful not to hurt each other. It seems as though we were all on a boat now together, a good boat still, that we have made but that we know now will never reach port. There will be all kinds of weather, good and bad, and especially because we know now that there will be no landfall we must keep the boat up very well and be very good to each other.
—  Ernest Hemingway, from “a letter to GERALD AND SARA MURPHY, Key West, 19 March 1935,” Selected Letters 1917-1961 (Charles Scribner’s Sons, 1981)

••important••

•Button poetry•
virginity lost
rachel wiley ten honest thoughts on being loved by a skinny boy
joseph capehart the first time I met an atheist
jamie mortara some things you need to know
lain kohn terrified of people
blythe baird for the rapists who called
trigger warning katrina stow
Eric s virginity lost
Fantastic breasts and where to find them
in which the poem I wrote becomes
doc luben 14 lines from love letter or suicide
sara kay & Phil kaye when love arrives
the girl becomes gasoline reagan myers
I am but I am not jess rizkallah
21 buttton poetry
girl code 101 blythe baird
sam lai chick with a gun
when you say my name Zachary caballero

•clubs•
book club
track
key club
interact club
woman’s empowerment
photography club
Red Cross club
class of 2018
deca
green thumb gardening
literary and arts magazine
model United Nations debate club
mural club
Preventing animal cruelty club
peer mentoring club
philosophy club
school media and production
Venture crew
walking for wellness
stage crew (jasmine or Jessica)
homecoming float
soup kitchens

•books•
running with scissors
Devil in the white city
In the garden of beast
the young elites marie lu
I wrote this for you by pleasefindthis
hush hush
the world needs more love letters
awake Natasha preston
deathless catherynne m valente
madeline miller the song of Achilles
boy meets boy David levithan
covered in glitter hannah Beth
the great gatsby
the fine art of truth or dare Melissa jenson
double tap Steve martini
jasper jones
pillow thoughts courtney peppernell
ocd love story
the retribution of mara dyer
catcher in the rye
the phantom tollbooth norton juster
on the fence
pivot point kasie west
cursed child
the fifth wave rick yancey
the night circus
warm bodies Isaac marion
the fifth wave rick yancey (series)
the book thief markus zusak
the house of night series by p.c cast and kristin cast
Slaughterhouse 5
Aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe
fat by Raymond carver
the life and times of butch dykes by eloisa aquino
Richard Siken, Snow and Dirty Rain
seaside improvisation by Richard siken
a primer for the small weird loves Richard siken
the dislocated room Richard siken
a primer for the small weird loves Richard siken
road music by Richard siken
all the bright places jennifer niven
Anne sexton a self portal in letters

•want•
pink puma slides
ear piercings (2nd and 3rd hole and cartilage)
hunting season beau taplin
clear lip gloss
iPhone 6
grateful dead key chains (amazon)
record player
ying yang earrings
fake nails wallmart
Vans size 7
nose pierced
sublime tee shirt
poloroid camera

•movies/ shows•
Spartacus
stuck in love
my girl
dragonfly
the moon and the sun (2016)
la belle personne
when the bough breaks
fight club
kill our darlings
Troy (2004)
the reptile room part one
hamlet (1948)
winters bone
by the sea
the young pope
point break (1991)
life with Derek
kalifornia
grindhouse
the xfiles
water for elephants
star-crossed (2014)
new girl
hysteria
the impossible
restless
guillotine jon bellion
shadowhunters
breaking bad
frankenweenie
corpse bride
the nightmare before Christmas
spread (2009)
9 songs
Diary of a teenage girl
hannah Montana
me myself and Irene
momentum
dear white people
you’re the worst
teen wolf
a dogs purpose
blacklist
quarry
the big lebowski
red eye
the deep end (2001)
cold mountain
valley of the dolls
when Harry met sally
my mad fat diary
the jacket
cloud atlas
gossip girl
Steven universe
Greek
misfits
9 ½ weeks
twisted
the inberweeners
ghost
90210
the o.c
the lying game
Community
Ravenswood
shannara chronicles
kill your darlings
crazy stupid love
we need to talk about kevin
white collar
Nebraska (2013)
the count of monte cristo
patterson
she’s all that
I know what you did last summer
never been kissed
the aviator
girls
love and other drugs
moana
alfie
natural born killers
A prince for Christmas
the dreamers (2003)
Spotlight (2000)
killer karaoke
à nos amours (1983)
Game of thrones
the riot club
my life without me (2003)
city of angels
Chapter 27
search party
for love or money
kill your darlings
a cure for wellness
entourage (show)
Palo Alto (2013)
grantham and rose
hear your voice
revolutionary road
The habit of beauty
the ring vs the grudge
Jane the virgin
skam
My blueberry nights
gossip girl
South Park
truth slash fiction
127 hours
valerian and the city of a thousand planets
James dean (2001)
your lie in April
Insomnia
I know where lizzie is
by the sea
becoming Jane
pride and prejudice
unbroken
no tomorrow
my babysitters a vampire
irobot
jasper jones
dead of summer
that 70s show
supernatural
skins
we are your friends
queen of the dammed
orphan black
hereafter
broken Lizards club dread
marvins room
bates motel
the last king of Scotland
turbo kid
riot club
I am Michael
nerve
angus thongs and perfect snogging
Love sick (show)
twelve monkeys
marvins room 1996
Palo Alto
crazy stupid love
definitely maybe
eat pray love
500 days of summer
perks of being a wallflower
dear john
safe haven
the notebook
In time
new girl
the art of getting by
neighbors 2: sorority rising
teenwolf
13 ghosts
that 70s show
song one
finding neverland
Keith
sweet vicious
closer
donnie darko
Like crazy
American beauty
the 100
the golden compass
ken park
the spiderwick chronicles
cruel intentions
tangled 2
the wolf of Wall Street
twin peaks
the second best exotic marigold hotel
August rush
nightmare on elm street 1984
romeo and juliette

•writing i like•
they say that rape is about power not sex but, that’s kinda bullshit. of course it’s about sex. It’s very specifically about sex. To hurt you as deeply as possible. complete devastation. like when soldiers don’t just defeat their enemy they burn their villages and foul their water supply, you know? don’t just kill the natives kill the buffalo. kill what’s sacred to them. so the body is just a shell to be crushed beneath your boot.

60 seconds. you could hold your fathers hand, replay his laugh, how loud he could fart and how hard his hands were matched how hard he worked and them being soft right now just doesn’t feel right. you could hold your breath and, try to stop breathing too. think of a hundred questions you never got a chance to ask like, “what’s something you’ve always wanted?” and he could say , “more time.”

because the world is so full of death and horror, I try again and again to console my heart and pick the flowers that grow in the midst of hell - hermann hesse

someday, when I am nothing but dust and wind, what tale will they tell about me? once upon a time, a girl had a father, a prince, a society of friends. then they betrayed her, and she destroyed them all. - marie lu

I could recognize him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world. - madeline miller

I will be cruel to you. It will stop your breath, how cruel I can be. but you understand, don’t you? you are clever enough. I am a demanding creature. I am selfish and cruel, and extremely unreasonable. - catherynne m. valente

“among other things, you’ll find that you’re not the first person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behavior.”
-the catcher in the rye

2

This year we are pleased to announce our third annual Birthday Project for Sara Ramirez. As this year Sara turns the amazing 40, we have made this project our biggest and best one yet, in collaboration with Akira. Here’s how you can get involved:

Birthday Blog
From now until the end of August we will be accepting submissions on happybirthdaysararamirez and though our email sarabirthdaysubmission@gmail.com to publish on our blog for Sara to visit. Your submissions can be anything from graphics, small notes, fanmixes, videos, to fan art. The more creative the better! Check this page for more information.

Letter Book
As this year is a milestone in Sara’s life, we have decided to put together something special. We will be creating a bound book with letters for Sara from fans around the globe surrounding the milestone theme. Your letter can be about anything that has happened to you in your life that you feel as though has been significant event or the development of something to come in your life. Some examples could include moving states, or into your first apartment, graduating high school or college, coming out, getting married or meeting your significant other or even going on your first holiday. None of the letters submitted will be published online so we hope this gives you all some confidence to write candidly. Read more on this page!

True Colors fundraiser
This year Sara became a part of the True Colors Board of Directors so we have decided to incorporate the organization into our birthday fundraising efforts.  

We will be raising funds for True Colors in two ways. To raise funds we are selling individual wristbands for the price of $4 plus shipping and pride packs for $20 plus shipping. All proceeds will go towards True Colors to assist them in working towards a world with little to no LGBT homeless youth. To read more about this project, you can do so here.

Annual ADRLF auction fundraiser
Last year we received an overwhelming response to our first auction but our second ever fundraising campaign for ADRLF. The response has not only been from our fan community but from ADRLF also. We were interviewed for the fall newsletter on our efforts and we can only hope that as a community we continue to raise awareness and funds for this wonderful non-profit organization. More information for this is coming soon.

Pride packs and wristbands will not be posted out until after payments have been received after August 31st. For auction items, tracking numbers will be provided.

At SaraRamirezDaily we feel it is extremely important to give back to the community and to raise awareness to causes that are close to our hearts. By supporting organizations such as True Colors and ADRLF, we as a community are bringing hope and life to those who need it. To everyone who contributes to any part of our birthday campaign, we thank you for your contribution and hope you feel proud knowing you’re doing something extraordinary.

We will release more information, pictures and details soon! 

If you have any questions or need more information about these projects don’t hesitate to contact us on through a message, tweet us at @SRamirezDaily, or send us an email to contact@sararamirezdaily.com. For questions about the True Colors wristbands you can also send a message to Akira.