letter-to-an-ex

I don’t wish for an ‘us’ anymore. I wish for your happiness, and my happiness and that someday we’ll find each other content - without any hate or sadness when we look at each other. I wish for somebody who will treat me better, who will look at me like I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to them. And I wish for somebody who understands you, who treats you better than I did. I wish for the best in both our futures.
The night before I left we got drunk together. You said, “I used to think you were the coolest person I knew.” “Not anymore?” I asked.  You kissed my shoulder and said, “You’re still the coolest person, but I don’t know you anymore.” And we never spoke again.
Letter to my ex

Because I only write when I’m falling together or falling apart… and this time because I’m falling back together, one of the many things I’ve done without you and will always. Funny word forever is right, because I guess to you forever is limited and you fooled me otherwise to break my heart. I’ve been trying to think of excuses for you and how you treated me but I just can’t think of a reason to treat somebody the way you did. It’s alright, we were naive— me for depending on you for happiness and you for losing the one thing that would’ve walked on water for you. And I hope you get lonely tonight and you can’t sleep at 3 in the morning because you keep picturing me in my favorite dress. Maybe if you weren’t so concerned with what your friends thought than you would’ve saw the way my eyes adored you. But now my eyes are burning fires because they lost their glow after you. To be honest, I don’t think they’ll ever go back because once you suffer— you change. Look at me living and breathing and shit without you. Because I never thought I’d have to, but here I am with lungs full of smoke. It’s okay though, I’m not mad nor bitter at you anymore. I honestly feel sorry for you because you’ll be searching forever for that feeling only I could give you. I’m falling back together and I’m not trying to jam the wrong pieces anymore because we both saw what happened when I tried that. I hope every time you hear someone laugh you think of me because maybe I’ll be on your mind then. It’s strange to think of how much more I’ve laughed since you’ve been gone. And I’d like to thank you for leaving because I’m finding my old self again and I’m learning how to love myself finally— something you could never teach me.

Source: Was submitted by an Anonymous

Dear Her Ex,

When she was with you, you hurt her. You called her names and instead of a kiss goodnight, you ended the night with her in tears. You’re an idiot. You didn’t even know what you had…

You pointed out all her imperfections and her flaws and you used them against her just because you could. Because you wanted to hurt her.

You cheated and even stole from her. You flirted with other girls in front of her, even made out with one when she was inches away from you.

And another thing, she told me that you hit her - that you put your hands on her. How fucking dare you put your hands on her. If it wasn’t for her, I would have punched your lights out.

But now…

Now she’s with me. And if you ever put your hands on her, if you ever hit her again - I’m gonna hit you. Repeatedly. In the face.

When she’s with me, she doesn’t feel the way she felt when she was with you. I love her flaws, all of them. And her imperfections? They aren’t imperfections, they’re perfection. I don’t care what you told her or what she tells herself, its not true.

Her imperfections are perfect. And she is, herself - the perfect imperfection.

I just want to tell you one more thing: you really did fuck up.

I’m sorry for everything I did and didn’t do.
Everything I should have done yet didn’t.
Could have done but failed to carry out.

There are so many things that I would do
If I only had one more chance.

I’m sorry for all the opportunities that I didn’t take.
To show you how much I loved you.
To shower you with affection.
To be the one you needed.

I’m sorry that I can’t get you out of my head.
I swear I would if it was possible.

I wish I could stop comparing everyone to you.

I’d love to hate you. To forget you.

—  A letter to my ex
When my best friend stopped eating again, I started to notice her bones more and more and I called that a relapse
Then one day I went to school to learn that my teacher left his job and turned back to drugs and lost his family and I called that a relapse, too
I wonder how many times I’ve looked in the mirror and not realized that running back to a man with soft eyes and violent hands was my own kind of relapse
—  Relapse / e.k.s.
to the girl he finds after me

Good luck. I hope you can handle mood swings. I hope you know that when he’s being an asshole that its (probably) not your fault. I hope you’re okay losing every male friend you’ve ever had because if not you’ll lose him over his jealousy, but hey, but I also hope you know he’ll always talk to girls because “they’re his friends.” I hope you can always be there for him but never expect him to do the same. I hope he doesn’t treat you as shitty as he did me. I hope you see the ruins he made of me and never let him do the same to you. I hope you love yourself enough to walk away from him when you realize he changes with the seasons and will force you to change soon. But most importantly, I hope you know how thankful I am that he found you, because it’s piece of mind to know that I won’t ever crawl back into his life looking to pick up where we left off. 

You said you just wanted me to be happy, so what on earth was leaving supposed to do? Did you not realize that leaving me would make everything worse? You said you wanted me to get better. How was leaving supposed to make getting better easier? You made everything worse. It’s been over a year and it still hurts to think about you. I dream about you and I want up crying. It still hurts, a lot but I don’t need you. I don’t want you back in my life. You never treated me how I deserved to be. I don’t want you, I don’t need you, I don’t like you. From me to you, fuck you.
—  Letters to the ones who left #4// 4am

i fucked three different men the weekend you told me you just want to be friends.

i took down numbers, never names.
i drank until i threw up.
i only looked at people that looked nothing like you.

i told myself that i was done with meaningless sex with strangers.
but -
the alternative means: meaningful sex with you.
and well -
there’s no choice here.

i go through with the motions,
sometimes it’s even nice, sometimes i could stand to call them ‘honey’,
and sometimes in the dark, i could pretend it’s you.

the scratch of a beard,
the slope of broad shoulders,
hands on my hips.

“no talking,” i always warn.
talking always ruin things.

the after is the hardest:
i feel numb and sad and tired.
and i am relieved when they’re gone in the morning.

i guess what i’m trying to say is -
i am not doing so well for myself, honey.

—  letters from drake’s ex; i don’t think i’m conscious of making monsters outta the women i sponsor till it all goes bad
Ciao ex migliore amico, lo so che non ti importa e che adesso penserai ‘che palle, ancora Miriam’ beh, mi dispiace. Mi dispiace che tutto sia finito così. Mi dispiace del fatto che a me importerà sempre di te, mentre tu te ne stai già sbattendo. Mi dispiace ricordare di noi. Mi dispiace rispondere alla domanda 'chi è il tuo migliore amico?’ Perché io non lo so più chi è il mio migliore amico. Sai io penso che avere un migliore amico sia una cosa abbastanza seria, infatti io al primo che passa non dico 'sei il mio migliore amico’ e sai perché? Perché il mio migliore amico eri tu, e sarai sempre e solo tu. Nonostante il male che mi fai ogni giorno. Nonostante le lacrime che mi fai versare. Nonostante tutti i “ti odio”. Nonostante tutte le volte che ti mando a fanculo. Sai,io ancora mi ci perdo nei tuoi abbracci. Ricordi quando ti dicevo che amavo abbracciarti? Ecco, ancora adesso amo farlo. Ma non posso, non più come prima. Tu non vuoi e anche una parte di me lo vieta. Per volere bene a te smetto di volerne a me stessa. Sai, quando so che stai male e non posso fare niente per farti sorridere piango. Eh. Perché? Perché sto perdendo tempo? Semplicemente perché ci tengo. Semplicemente perché non sono mai riuscita seriamente ad abbandonarti..perché l'avevo promesso, no? 'Migliori amici per sempre’ ricordi? Beh forse adesso non ti importerà più di tanto, la tua migliore amica è un'altra. Quando stai male hai bisogno di lei,non di me. Ma io sabato,quando mi hai guardata, ho letto i tuoi occhi…e si, c'era un mi manchi. Ti manco,forse. Ma non sai dirlo. Hai paura di farlo o forse non ne sei certo. Però io non posso tornare,cuoricino mio. Mi dispiace. Andrei contro me stessa. Vale la pena rischiare? Davvero, vale la pena di perdermi ancora? Non lo so. Però vederti così mi distrugge. L'altra notte mi sono svegliata,e il mio primo pensiero sei stato tu. Ho pensato a come sia potuta finire la nostra amicizia. 'Ho visto persone volersi talmente bene che ora non si parlano più’ ma perché? Dio santo. Perché? Non possiamo perderci così, capisci? Capisci la gravità della situazione? Mi manchi e scrivo lettere che non ti manderò mai solo per sfogarmi. Mi manchi e il mondo mi sta crollando addosso perché non ci sei. Sai io penso che il mondo in una persona non si riesce a tenere,è troppo pesante, ma in due si. E noi ci riuscivamo benissimo. Mi manca messaggiare con te alle 3 di notte. Mi manca sorridere con te. Mi manca piangere con te. Mi manca dirti che sei scemo ma che non ti abbandonerei mai. Ma sai, solo io le ho mantenute le promesse. Solo io ti penso. Tu no. E come può andare avanti un'amicizia,se a tenerci è solo una persona? Mi manchi, perché non lo capisci? Una volta li sapevi leggere i miei occhi, i miei gesti. Ora no. Stai diventando dislessico come il resto delle persone. Mi manca il mio migliore amico. Mi manchi, cuoricino. Mi manchi. Torna ti prego. Torna che senza di te il mondo mi crolla addosso. Torna che da sola non posso farcela. Torna che non sopporto l'idea di averti perso. Torna perché devi mantenere quelle promesse. Torna. Io sono qui ad aspettarti. E si, ti aspetterò. Anche tutta la vita. Perché nessuno potrà mai colmare il vuoto che tu mi hai lasciato.
—  esefossiapatica