To the one who loves him next:
He is terrified of spiders. You’re going to be the one to kill them, to get so much as near them; he’ll consider completely avoiding your home if he hears spiders are often hiding in the cracks and crevices of your walls. (And don’t laugh when he jumps at the mention of a black widow. Whatever you do, don’t laugh.)
And, he’s not the type of person who can fuck you gracefully. He will fall in love with your body, he will treat it like a damn temple, no matter how fat or small you are because he can appreciate fatty curves and he can appreciate a lack thereof– but sex is a whole other thing entirely. Be patient, tell him what you like. Teach him.
He doesn’t like drugs. He hates them. Weed is the exception- but when he’s high, he will be the most distant, unfamiliar boy you have ever met. He doesn’t know why it happens, he just knows it does. Be patient. Wait for the high to fade. His emotions will return.
But other than that, please: no drugs. Your cigarettes burning in between your lips are not attractive to him. Your romanticisation of death-by-cancer-sticks is not funny or beautiful to him. Please, rid yourself of the nicotine for him. Please don’t pick cigarettes over him. It’s not worth it. You don’t owe it to him, but you owe it to yourself to try to see things through with someone to lovely.
His mind is like a box and it’s filled with categories; in those categories are the few things he can focus on at a time, the things in his ‘pride’, for he is a lion with a ‘pride’ to maintain. And sometimes, you’re not going to be in his 'pride’. Sometimes, you’re going to take the backburner to school, or to work, or to the gym, or to his stupid protein shakes– but that doesn’t mean he loves you any less. He loves you so much. And he will catch up to you and apologise for the distance. It will hurt at first, but then, you will get used to it. Take that distance and do something beautiful with it, something to bring to the conversation when he rolls back over to you.
And he needs to know you love him, too. Reassure him, keep his spirits high, remind him that he is important because there are times when he forgets that he matters to anyone. There are times when he gets so insecure that he thinks he’s treating you poorly. Don’t let him believe that– and when he slipping up, do point it out, but work with him on it. He will slip up. He’s human. But blatantly pointing out his flaws will cause self hatred to manifest within him, and he doesn’t need anymore of that. Work with him.
In some ways, yes, you’re going to be a teacher to him. He’s a little lost, and still a little sad. Accept it. Love him for it.
He’s clumsy. He’s so clumsy. He’ll trip over flat pavement in front of you and you’ll find yourself tripping into love at the same time with laughter to follow.
He is so forgiving, and so pure. He has been to hell and back, but the story is unknown– not even his closest friends know the story. He will open up eventually, but it will take time, and some days,it may feel useless to have hope that he’ll ever talk to you about his past. But he will. Don’t push too hard, but do remind him he can trust you.
He’ll tell you there’s something you can do to make him hate you forever, something you can do that will stop him from ever looking at you or speaking to you again. That is a lie. He will come around. And if it does come to that, in the time that he does ignore you, you will feel like the greatest piece of crap to have ever been born.
He’s tough to love. If you cannot love him with all his intricacies and flaws and details, if you cannot learn to love him while he repairs himself for you, then let him go. Don’t pain yourself and most importantly, do not pain him. Do not push him into a deep abyss. He only returned from that a year ago. He doesn’t deserve pain anymore. He only deserves the brightest of the suns rays in his life.
Just promise me you’ll show him love. He deserves that much.