“I’m writing this letter because I don’t want you, my 16-year-old self to carry these regrets with you for the rest of your life. Now, ten years in your future, Kakeru is no longer with us. Don’t lose what’s important to you. Please keep a close eye on Kakeru.”
I think the universe is great
It’s like God just chucked a bunch of candy into space
And Earth is a jawbreaker
So it doesn’t matter if you’ve got the biggest mouth
You can’t just chew the world up and spit it out
You’ve gotta savor it
ok so watsky unlisted a bunch of videos and one of them is letter to my 16 year old self and i just rewatched it and i literally teared up at the end omg its been five years but it still really hits home every time
Two weeks later, a friend will use the word “asexual” to describe a boy she knows. You won’t know what this word means; part of you will be scared to find out. At 16, you’re just starting to get comfortable with the fact you like girls at all.
But curiosity will get the better of you, and you will go home and look up the word anyway.
An asexual is someone who does not experience sexual attraction.
You think about the girl you liked, and your discomfort with talking about anything sexual.
Is this you?
You keep this word tucked close to your chest, not ready to identify this way yet, not fully aware of what it means at all. And what if you’re wrong? What if it isn’t you?
But months will go by and you still won’t understand your friends when they crush on boys.
You will meet a new girl at school. She will become your best friend, and only a few months after your first heartbreak you need a best friend. She will sleep over with you and the two of you will stay up late acting out scenes from books and plays and watching scary movies. She will quickly become the person you call when you need someone to talk to.
She will be the first person you truly come out to. At two in the morning, crying on her shoulder, you will tell her about the other girl you liked. She will say it is okay. She will say she is your friend no matter what.
You will not say the word asexual aloud. Not yet.
I wrote a letter to my 16-year-old self for MTV on discovering my demisexuality. You can read it here.