letter from venice

…and I hope that one day you love someone the way that I loved you. Because the way that I loved you was no ordinary feeling. It taught me that no job, no grade, no holiday and no material object is half as important as the people you love and how you love them. I never knew you could make homes out of people until I found myself homesick whenever I spent time away from you. I’d never been afraid of loving someone until I spent hours lying beside you and your voice became my favourite sound. I never really liked music until I found you in the words of what then became my favourite songs. I always thought books exaggerated love stories, until it was only you and I that existed when you kissed me under the summer sky in Venice as the warm rain caught my (freshly washed!!) hair. I never cared much for poetry until you left and poems became the only places I found you. I never knew I loved writing so much until the only way to keep myself from falling to pieces without you was to pour those pieces of myself on to the pages of my diary. I never knew feeling a love so deeply was even possible, but I know now never to expect anything less. And I’m so glad you taught me what love is supposed to feel like. I just hope that one day you fall in love so much so that you learn too what I have learned from you.
—  an excerpt from a letter I wont send to him

thinking a lot about the word “company” and specifically how it’s used in intimate settings; also the inherent queerness of company- how queer friendship and romance expressed through sharing space and existing together (whether platonically, sexually, romantically) can be represented in text

also (just personally and for fun) thinking about sondheim’s interpretation of “love is company”, and how that fits into modern readings of shakespearean works 

(in other news we’re reading merchant of venice in the shakespeare class i’m taking this semester and while i still don’t like it, i can appreciate queer readings of the friendships in the play and the concept of “company” ties it together)