random poem #6: ode to the boy who stole (among other things) my right to an opinion

i reached out to you,
held my hand out
while you were stranded
on a desert island,
full of fear and worry,
anger and despair.
i offered you my hand,
where you could rest
and be free from the demons
in your head,
that threatened to let out
everything you’ve hidden through all these years.
you didn’t take me up on my offer,
so i taught you to swim instead.
i taught you that there was so much life
outside of this island
that you were forced to call home.
i taught you how to leave
and escape your imprisonment,
and enjoy life for what it was.
after all this effort,
i wish i could say
that this story has a happy ending,
for at least one of us,
but unfortunately,
i don’t know if you truly made it out alive,
or if the jungle on your island
swallowed you whole,
and only spit out your worst parts.
and in case anyone was wondering,
the narrator of this story
doesn’t fall in love
with the broken boy
from the deserted island.
and she doesn’t fall in love at all.
because as it turns out,
fiction is to remain fiction,
and what the broken girl didn’t know
was that entitlement tended to hide behind
a facade of compassion.
the broken girl realized all too late,
that the broken boy from the island
was nothing more than a figment of her imagination,
and the reality held a different boy,
one that did,
in fact,
grab the hand that the broken girl offered,
but instead of using it
as a bridge to the good inside of him,
he sunk the broken girl,
until she could no longer breathe.
because what the boy didn’t realize,
was that the broken girl had an opinion,
and he couldn’t stand another being
contradicting what he believed was true.
because,
the fact of the matter was
the boy was in love with the broken girl,
but he didn’t truly know her,
he just knew that her scars matched his own,
and he had never seen anyone
so strong in his life,
and he couldn’t handle,
the broken girl being able
to resist him,
especially when
he had already made her his inside his head.
so the boy did what he was always taught to do,
he defended his honor,
and sunk that beautiful, broken girl,
until
she could no longer breathe,
no longer speak,
no longer express an opinion opposite to his.
somewhere,
the broken narrator lives on,
without an opinion,
but lives on,
breathless, beautiful, and broken,
while the broken boy still breathes,
in shallow broken breaths,
from broken lungs,
that surround a beautiful, broken heart,
which holds the beautiful broken girl’s brain,
opinions, innocence, and all.

-e (weeklybrent)

‘In our misfortunes, how many consolations our friendship has given us! And in happiness, one’s enjoyment is doubled when one can share it with a friend; and where can one find one more tender and more dear than in one’s own family?’

-Marie Antoinette in her final letter to her sister in law Elisabeth.

(Picture from Rose of Versailles)

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

I decided to write a little list of lgbt+ milestones that happened this year (2018). 

While there are certainly many things to be sad or angry about, I believe we all need (and deserve) to celebrate the good news, too. 

So, in no particular order, here are a few happy things! 

-  India’s Supreme Court declared Section 377 unconstitutional: it’s no longer a crime to be gay in India!

-  A trans woman in the United States breastfed her adopted baby, according to the magazine “Transgender Health”. This is the first (known) case of a trans woman breastfeeding! 

- For the first time ever, a prime minister of New Zealand marched in a gay pride parade! (Her name is Jacinda Ardern) 

- Dee Rees became the first lesbian black woman to be nominated for any Academy Award in a writing category! 

-  Holland, the first openly gay K-pop singer, debuted his first single “Neverland.”

-  Angela Ponce made history as the first openly transgender woman to ever be crowned Miss Spain! 

- “Love, Simon” was released, the first gay romantic teenage movie ever released by a major studio in the US! 

-  Transgender identity is no longer classified as a mental disorder in the International Statistical Classification of Diseases!

-  Beth Ford became the first openly gay woman CEO to run a Fortune 500 company! 

-  Marvia Malik became the first openly trans newsreader to appear on Pakistani television! 

- The Evangelical Lutheran Church in Bavaria allowed the blessing of same-sex marriages!

-  America’s first city-wide Bi Pride event was held, in West Hollywood! 

-  Mike Jacobs became the first sitting judge in the United States to come out as bisexual!

-  Adam Rippon became the United States’s first openly gay athlete ever to qualify for any Winter Olympics! 

-  British Vogue  featured an openly transgender woman for the first time (Paris Lees)! 

-  Trinidad and Tobago’s High Court decriminalized homosexuality! 

Which lgbt+ news/milestones made you happy in 2018? Feel free to add! <3 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Mom

To my favorite person in the world,
I know things are over and I know that means that we won’t get to create any new memories together. I know I lacked a lot of things, and I’m sorry for hurting you.
Every day I talk to you, sometimes in whispers, sometimes in sobs, but every day I do. I know a lot of things now, one of which is that I should have given you space and me not giving you this created the biggest space possible. I know how incredibly much I miss you and also that that alone is not a great enough incentive to get us to talk again anymore. I know what we had was special and irreplaceable and nothing makes up for the fact that we don’t get to sit in silence together anymore. I know I’m sad, I can feel it every day when I open my eyes and every day when I lay my head down again on the pillow. It’s becoming a part of me, a you shaped hole in my heart. I know what would feel good and what is the right thing to do, and it raffles me that this time they are two completely different things. I know I had you. I know I lost you. I know it’s already been a while. The one thing I don’t know is whether this will end up being just a break or a good luck in another lifetime kind of thing. And it scares me how I don’t even know which one would be the better option. I don’t know why I’m writing this. but I guess when the day comes that I figure out why it is that I still talk to you in my head every day, the rest will figure itself out.
With all my love, always
—  Annedi Bergsma 

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

One of the most heartbreaking things is the moment when someone sees the real you - and then you need to disagree because you are still in the closet. 

Here are two examples: 

- Your parents ask (again) if there are any cute boys in your school. You lie (again) that you’re too busy with studying to even think about boys. Your sister says “Well, maybe you think about girls instead? That would be okay!”. You have to say “Eww, no!” because your parents are already angrily glaring at your sister… but your sister is right. 

- Your mom is chatting with your new neighbor when he turns to you and says “And this is your daughter, I assume?”. Your mom replies, with a offended voice, “That’s my son!”. She will later tell you how rude it was of him to say that, you don’t look like a girl at all. You have to smile at her and maybe even thank her… but your neighbor was right. 

Situations like that suck. They’re so disheartening - it can feel like you’re offered a piece of food when you’re starving and then have to say “No, thanks, I’m full.”. 

These moments are one of the reasons why being in the closet is not “the easy way” or even “selfish” - being in the closet can be hecking painful. 

There’s not really the one piece of advice for such situations. “Just tell people the truth then” is oversimplified and can even be dangerous - not everyone can safely come out. “Just ignore it” is easier said than done - you’re a human being, you can’t just turn off your emotions. 

Maybe the best “advice” is simply this: You’re not alone. There are many people who understand how much it hurts, people who have been in similar situations. We feel your heartbreak, or your anger, We see you. 

As uncouth as it sounds: We are all in this sh*t together. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Mom 

Marx’s letter to his wife Jenny.

Manchester, June 21, 1865

My heart’s beloved:

I am writing you again, because I am alone and because it troubles me always to have a dialogue with you in my head, without your knowing anything about it or hearing it or being able to answer…

Momentary absence is good, for in constant presence things seem too much alike to be differentiated. Proximity dwarfs even towers, while the petty and the commonplace, at close view, grow too big. Small habits, which may physically irritate and take on emotional form, disappear when the immediate object is removed from the eye. Great passions, which through proximity assume the form of petty routine, grow and again take on their natural dimension on account of the magic of distance. So it is with my love. You have only to be snatched away from me even in a mere dream, and I know immediately that the time has only served, as do sun and rain for plants, for growth.

The moment you are absent, my love for you shows itself to be what it is, a giant, in which are crowded together all the energy of my spirit and all the character of my heart. It makes me feel like a man again, because I feel a great passion; and the multifariousness, in which study and modern education entangle us, and the scepticism which necessarily makes us find fault with all subjective and objective impressions, all of these are entirely designed to make us all small and weak and whining. But love - not love for the Feuerbach-type of man, not for the metabolism, not for the proletariat - but the love for the beloved and particularly for you, makes a man again a man…

There are many females in the world, and some among them are beautiful. But where could I find again a face, whose every feature, even every wrinkle, is a reminder of the greatest and sweetest memories of my life? Even my endless pains, my irreplaceable losses I read in your sweet countenance, and I kiss away the pain when I kiss your sweet face…

Good-bye, my sweetheart. I kiss you and the children many thousand times.

Yours,

Karl