L A R G E aesthetic is Taako, dressed in a feather boa, oversized sunglasses, and the nicest fucking outfit you’ve ever seen, one arm wrapped around Ren’s shoulder, as they go to the Glamorsprings prison and visit sazed, and Taako gleefully announcing “heeeey there bitchboy hows it going in fucking prison!!!!!! anyways this is my new assistant isnt she cute!!! way cuter than you ;0 anyway let me tell you about all of my accomplishments since you ruined my life-”
Reaching for the light // I’ve learned early on in my life that no matter how hard we try, we will always have times in our lives where we find ourselves in dark places. I’m currently in the darkest place I’ve ever been in, and it’s a constant battle for me to remind myself that it doesn’t end here. It’s in these darkest places and in these darkest moments that we are challenged the most; Causing us to learn the most, grow the most, and change the most…and by God’s grace, these dark places can transform into beautiful things. This is currently my deepest prayer and heart’s desire. Let the ruins come to life, in the beauty of Your name.
Summary: Dealing with the aftermath of heartbreak and not talking to Peter for 2 weeks causes the reader to not want to go to homecoming, but MJ forces her to go and the events that happen there may turn the worst 2 weeks to the best 2 weeks of her life.
Warnings: Minor swearing, angst, make out
Word count: 2,589… I got a little carried away whoops
It’s been two weeks since the incident on the rooftop. I haven’t talked to Peter since then. At this point, I could barely look at him without bursting into tears. The truth is beside Peter I didn’t have any friends besides Michelle. I didn’t exactly tell her what happened, but I’m pretty sure she figured out it had to do with Peter. Ignoring Peter wasn’t incredibly hard since we lived in the same apartment. Just because I didn’t want to talk didn’t mean he didn’t. For the first week, he followed me around trying to talk to me. Of course, I had headphones and turned them up as loud as my ears could handle so I couldn’t hear his voice. At least he took the hint and stopped trying to start a conversation. Now he just stares at me. All of the time. I swear he keeps playing this game. Doesn’t he get he already won? The more he looks at me the more my heart breaks. At this point I’m numb. Why the hell did I fall in love with him? I’m such a fool.
“Are you going to tell me what happened between you and Peter or are you just going to sit staring out the window looking like you’re about to cry everyday” I heard Michelle say nonchalantly.
“It’s a long story MJ” I replied
“Good thing this homework we are working on isn’t due tomorrow,” She said putting the books aside.
“I don’t really want t-”
“You can’t keep this to yourself any more Y/N I’m seriously getting worried, I’m not a doctor, but I know hiding something that made you this upset for too long isn’t smart,” she said interrupting me
“He broke my heart” I whispered, tears beginning to fill my eyes as my mind replayed the events of the worst night of my life.
“He doesn’t deserve you Y/N, if he doesn’t see how amazing you are he’s blind, and a fucking idiot to be honest, Do you want me to beat him up for you because I’m totally willing to do that because I hate assholes”
“Oh my god, thank you MJ” I laughed, I’m pretty sure this is the first time I’ve laughed in the past 2 weeks. MJ may be very shy and unsocial, but once you get to know her she’s amazing. To be completely honest her attitude, in general, is enough to cheer me up. She’s so different and honestly an inspiration. I’m so grateful for her because without her I know this whole Peter thing would be much worse.
“I’ll beat him up in front of the whole school during homecoming” MJ giggled clenching her fists and holding them up like she was going to fight someone.
“You know I’m now going to homecoming, right”?
“Excuse me yes you are, you will not let Peter Parker ruin some of the best moments you’ll ever have in high school. You shouldn’t let him have that power over you, and even if he does don’t let him see that”
“But I can’t bear to see him dancing wi-”
“So don’t look at them, find your own boy to dance with, there will be tons of handsome lonely boys looking for a beautiful girl like you to dance with, you are a strong independent girl and you don’t need Peter Parker to make your life complete, and come on if I agreed to go to homecoming that says a lot since I’m probably the most unsocial person on the planet and I need a friend to come with me so I’m not alone, please come Y/N I’m practically on my knees begging you” MJ blurted. She was right, I can’t let Peter control my life.
“Fine I guess I’ll go but for you,” I said
“Yay! I’m so excited” she exclaimed giving me a hug, good thing I had bought a dress. I would have to wear my one from last years homecoming and to be honest, I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t fit.
For the rest of the night, we ate ice cream and watched funny chick flicks and I forgot all about Peter until she had to leave. As much as I don’t want Peter to control my life, but I can’t bear to see Peter dancing with Liz. I think my heart would shatter into a million pieces. I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and I looked at myself, I honestly looked like a mess. I had bags under my eyes, my eyes were puffy from crying so much. Why was I letting Peter Parker ruin my life? I should never let a boy ruin my life. I have so much more than Peter Parker. If this game was to break my heart. I shouldn’t let him win. I have to stop moping 24/7 and actually live. Even if I don’t have a date to homecoming it doesn’t mean I won’t find a lonely boy to dance with. After all, it’s completely possible to fall in love more than once. I’m not going to let Peter win. Somehow I managed to find some confidence. It’s time to be my old self again I thought walking from the bathroom. I walked into my room and jumped into my bed and swiftly pulled the covers over me. Tomorrow is a new day, a new me. No more crying over Peter Parker I thought as I drifted into a nice well-needed slumber.
I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock, scaring the shit out of me like it always does. I groaned turning off my alarm clock and getting up to walk to my closet to find clothes. Lately, i’ve been wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt to school every day, but that was going to change. I grabbed a pair of skinny jeans and a nice shirt and skipped to the bathroom.
“Why are you so cheerful today honey” I heard my mom say as I skipped past the kitchen to get to the bathroom.
“Homecoming is today, and you know how much I love to dance mom” I practically sung as I closed the bathroom door. Today I needed to show confidence. I needed Peter to know I wasn’t going to mope over him forever. I caught him staring at me countless times this week. I hope showing him I’m getting over him will make him jealous. Wait. no that’s not the point of this I mentally yelled at myself as I grabbed eyeliner and mascara. After I finished putting on makeup, I slipped on my clothes and grabbed my pair of black converse.
“You look cute today Y/N” my mom pointed out.
“Thanks, mom” I answering grabbing my backpack and giving my mom a kiss on the cheek.
“Your father and I aren’t going to be home for a couple of days, we have to go on a business trip, but make sure to send us pictures, I’m sorry we won’t be here,” she said, she obviously felt bad, but they did this all of the time.
“It’s fine” I lied as I walked out the door. A sigh left my mouth. I don’t know why they are always traveling I wish they could actually be home for one special event of mine. No wonder I’m closer to May than my parents, but I can’t see her without seeing Peter. Peter was usually the person who always comforted me when my parents would leave. I felt tears start to sting my eyes. No. I promised myself I would stop crying over him. I blinked away the tears and began walking to school. I walked kind of slow so when I walked in most people were at their lockers. What happened next was pretty weird. It felt like I was in a movie. Everything was going in slow motion and basically, everyone was staring at me. I mean I’m pretty sure it’s because the past two weeks I’ve acted like actual death and looked it too, but then again I didn’t think people noticed.
“Nice ass Y/L/N” I heard Flash say from behind me
“Shut it Flash” I warned, as he put both his hands up laughing. I right as I turned around I ran into someone which knocked me over making me land right on my butt.
“I’m so sor-” I cut myself off as my eyes met with the brown sparkling orbs of Peter Parker. He was holding out his hand offering to help me up. For some reason, I actually took his hand. I could feel my whole body tingling just from him grabbing my hand. He pulled me up, and I immediately let go of his hand brushing off my pants. I brushed the hair that was in my face behind my ear and stood up straight.
“I’m really sorry about that” I mumble looking down at my feet
“It’s okay” he insisted, I looked up at his face to see a bruise on his face that I hadn’t noticed.
“Oh my god Peter the bruise on your face, who did that to you”I whispered yelled
“It doesn’t matter, the bad guy just got a swing at my face” he stated
“You have to be more careful Peter” I cautioned.
“I am careful you don’t have to worry about me Y/N” he insisted
“Well I do,” I said louder than I wanted to. “I-I h-have to class” I interjected bowing my head and pushing past him to get to class trying to hide the tint of red on my cheeks. That was actually the first semi-normal interaction I had with him in 2 weeks and I barely embarrassed myself. The rest of the day went by pretty fast and MJ and I literally ran home so we could get ready. I went into the bath reapplying and putting more makeup on. I quickly stripped my clothes off and slipped into my dress. I looked into the mirror and I was actually happy with what I saw. I walked out to see Michelle in a beautiful blue dress.
“Dang M, how did you not get a date,” I said
“Well besides from the fact I don’t talk to people, I have no idea” she laughed
“Are you ready to go?” I asked
“Yep, it’s funny how both are always gone for the important things,” She said obviously upset her parents weren’t here too. I gave her a small hug and soft smile and we walked out.
We arrived at the school and walked into the gym. There were balloons everywhere the lights were dim and kids were dancing. MJ and I met up with Ned. I saw Liz walk in without Peter and I raised my eyebrow. I heard the doors open shortly after MJ and I made eye contact with his brown whiskey eyes. I felt like I was staring him for years until MJ pulled me away as Liz grabbed his hand. MJ grabbed my arm and pulled me over to a circle of basically the whole decathlon team dancing, but I still looked towards Peter who surprisingly still has his eyes on me. and I eventually I started to let go and dance to the beat. I felt good the music was upbeat and I was actually having a great time. I took a mental note that I owe MJ Starbucks for making me come to this. There were a couple songs and I dance one dance with Ned, and I even danced with Flash even though I hate him. There was only about 30 minutes left of the dance, and a boy named Isaac who I had couple classes with timidly walked up to me
“Y/N would you like to dance with me,” he asked shyly
“Of course” I replied grabbing his hand and pulling him to the center of the gym. I put my arms around his neck and he put his on my hips and we danced for 2 songs, but I could see and feel Peter’s eyes on me but he was jealous. I knew he was because I’ve known him my whole life and I definitely know when that boy is jealous. He has Liz so why he so bothered by me dancing with someone else.
“You’re distracted by something” he blurted out leaving me a little shocked.
“No, I’m just tired” I insisted
“Hey, look I’m pretty observant, but I’m pretty sure anyone could tell you like Peter Parker a lot more than a friend, and I’m 99.9% positive he feels the same way” He explained
“He is with Liz, he likes Liz, and I already told him how I felt”
“If you haven’t noticed he’s been staring at this whole dance right”
“So what that doesn’t mean anything” I signed looking at my feet.
“Like I said I’m very observant, and the way Peter looks at you is different than he looks at anyone else even Liz” he argued, and I laughed
“You should ask MJ to dance, you guys are very similar” I sighed, still looking at my feet. Soon the song Waves by Dean Lewis came on.
“I’m about to be proven right,” he said triumphantly
“Wait, what do yo-”
“You mind if I steal her for a dance” I looked to see Peter holding out his hand
“Absolutely” he replied winking at me. I mouthed “I hate you” and he put his hands up in defense walking away. Peter put his hands on my hips and I put mine on his shoulders. I couldn’t face him, I had no idea why he was dancing with me, or how Liz allowed him to do it. I was staring at his tie.
“You look really beautiful tonight Y/N” he commented quietly. Seriously is this boy trying to lead me on? What the hell does he want from me? I pushed him away.
“What kind of game are you playing Parker because I’m seriously sick of th-” I was cut off by him slamming his lips into mine, making my eyes open wider than humanly possible. My arms were at my side clenched and my whole body went tense. To be honest I could not comprehend what was happening, but eventually, my body relaxed and I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him closer and savoring the way his soft lips felt on mine. We pulled away for air.
“Why did you do that” I whispered.
“Just because I was going to homecoming with didn’t mean I didn’t have the same feelings for you” He revealed bowing his head down. “I asked Liz to homecoming because I thought you didn’t feel the same way, I was going to tell you after that night, but you never really gave me the chance”. I was speechless, honestly, I didn’t know how to react to this, so I just hugged him engulfing his.
“I love you, Peter Parker”
“I love you too”
I guess this wicked game came out with both of us winning.
I hope you guys liked it! Feedback is seriously appreciated
everyone’s always like “oh i wanna meet shawn so i can tell him that he makes my day and i love his music blah blah blah” and like babe same but i also wanna meet him so i can let him know how much he’s literally ruined my life, i don’t even know this kid and yet at least 87% of the things i do revolve around him. like if i tell my friend i’m an emotional wreck it’s no longer “did you have another panic attack?” it’s “what did he do now?” HE meaning SHAWN. like what the fuck dude i was tryna listen to some good tunes and now here i am literally crying over his jawline. HIS FUCKING JAWLINE!!! WHAT THE HELL!!! i swear to god as soon as i meet him i’m punching him in the goddamn face because he has messed me up so much and he has to pay. i’m coming for you mendes
my name’s kat. i’m 16, close to 17, and i just graduated high school. i’m a literal lesbian. hopefully, i’m going to college.
i live in venezuela. granted, i’ve lived a pretty sheltered life: my mom’s got a stable job which led to me and my brother living an okay life, even when our country’s falling apart. when we were little, we saw grown ups fight over politics, and we playfully joined in, not knowing how terribly deep it went. as the years went by, we saw the government and the opposition constantly plant hatred towards each other on the population. now that we’re older, we understand. now that we’re older, our families torn apart, our friends fleeing away, we understand.
i won’t be able to study what i want. because in this country, it doesn’t make money. because my country’s a trainwreck.
today’s july 30th 2017. today’s election day. the government of my country has decided to create a new constitution from scratch, without consulting the people. today, the elections are to choose who’ll write it, not if we want it or not.
the past few months, starting back in april if i recall correctly, have been disastrous. it began when the government decided to give the congress the middle finger and do whatever it wanted, instead of what the people wanted. so the people got angry and stood against it, for months and months. the military retaliated against them brutally; there’s dozens of dead and hundreds of injured, if not more. but if today’s elections end up in a literal purge, which at this point wouldn’t surprise me, those numbers will grow incredibly fast.
what i’m saying is: this is the product of twenty years of people insulting themselves. twenty years of a government praising hatred and applauding violence. this was once the richest country in latin america, this was the country that initiated the latin american independence wars. this was the country i was proud of. and i still am. but it has become so broken and corrupted: not just the government, but the people.
our tt at twitter today are, amongst others, #suicidazonacional (national collective suicide) and #the purge, often tweeted together. but along these, through all of these months, all of these years, the trends of my country have always been hateful and it breaks my heart to see how the place that i grew up in has become such a dark place to be.
It’s possible they might cut us off from the internet. they might cut our electricity and blame it on some sabotage. it has happened before. so, in that case, i guess i wanted to write this: my feelings towards this subject.
old people suck and have ruined my country, my life and countless others. don’t let governments manipulate you.
sexual tension and love and all is good but olicity needs a lot more to reconcile. what are your thoughts on that?
Oh you’re right, anon.
Felicity told Oliver when she left him that he tended to revert back to his island way of going alone when things got rough. Oliver had been full of guilt and Felicity had been full of pain, and though they’d talked, they hadn’t talked.
They haven’t had catharsis. They need that. We need that.
I need them to fight the fuck out. (I’m going to go One Tree Hill on your ass, so bear with me). It would be like this (in my head):
Oliver would be
And Felicity would take a deep breath and crack a joke and change the topic. For once though, Oliver would persist. Because they need to hash it out. The conundrum they’re in is not healthy for either of them, swinging between a rock and a hard place.
Oliver would push and push and then Felicity would snap. Oh, she’d snap gloriously, laying it all out on the line completely, bare to him
They would hash it all out, completely and yell or whisper or just plain shake each other but they would LAY IT OUT
(I swear i got chills when i saw this scene for the first time)
That was the crux of the matter. Oliver didn’t share with Felicity. Oliver didn’t let her in. And he’s trying. Trying harder.
He tells her that. He tells her.
It’s raw. It’s unrefined. It’s real.
But she isn’t ready for the risk, not again, not so soon. Her heart is bruised and she isn’t ready.
But he can wait. He will wait for eternity if there was even a glimmer of possibility for them because for him, she is it.
And then, after that whole cathartic talk, would they be on the road back to each other. That doesn’t mean they’ll reconcile suddenly. It’s a long road, and it should take its own sweet time when the destination is forever.
But this is how they get on the path.
Because after all,
I don’t care if they take thirty minutes or five. I don’t care if they yell or whisper, scream or murmur. I don’t care if they cry like lovers or joke like friends.
I just need them to talk the fuck out of this conversation.