Little Too Perfect, Little Too Worth It.
I had never felt the empty feeling accompanied with a loss like this one. I had sent myself to wallow in my own misery in my bedroom for as long as possible, my dark black drapes draining out any sight of the sun outside making it seem as if it was approaching night in my room though in reality it was early afternoon.
The state of my room was utter chaos and that was probably a microcosm of my mind. Because I didn’t know how to feel, I didn’t know what to do. My best friend had left me for an entirely new country and what was I supposed to do with that news? Jump with glee?
Granted, I had fair warning and I had months to prepare for her departure to her new home in a foreign land with her new husband but that didn’t help prepare me for her actually not being there in the mornings when I wanted to pop into some shoes and walk a few houses down to loudly tap on her bedroom window to wake her up like we did when we were in high school.
We had been like two peas in a pod since nearly birth. She was there for every major event of my life and I hers including her wedding where I was the maid of honor. It just felt empty now to know she wasn’t just a drive away but a flight away instead.
And so maybe I had stage 10 clinger issues with my best friend. So what?! She was really all that I knew and the only person I really considered a true friend in this town. Someone I could spill all my secrets to, someone I could cry to. She was everything for me that no one else could be and I felt that now I had officially lost my best friend.
“I know you’re not going to sit in this room and mope again today.”
Julian’s disapproving voice rang out through the once silent bedroom as he entered and shut the door behind him. I didn’t bother to verbalize a response to him, instead keeping my face buried in the pillows and offered a muffled, nearly incoherent response. “Go away. I don’t want you to see me like this. In all my non-makeup, puffy for the past three day eyes and messy hair.”
Julian was my other best friend. I liked to call him the bright side of our trio. When me and Allie were in a bad mood or worse, faced with the labor of period pains or temporary heartbreak, Julian always dropped by with bags of chocolates, romantic movies, and a warm smile to make us forget what was even bothering us. He had helped Allie through quite a few drunken nights and had even talked her off of the ledge the day before her wedding when she got cold feet.
She hadn’t stopped thanking him since.
He had a habit of always finding a way to make us feel better but I didn’t want to feel better right now. I wanted to mope and whine like an abandoned child. Too bad he was Julian and that wasn’t going to happen.
I could feel the bed dip with the pressure of him sitting next to me, his hand drifting to my hair and gently running his fingers through it. I was surprised his hands didn’t get tangled in the mess in the process.
“Get up.” He used his other arm to forcefully shake me which caused me to raise my head from the pillow and sit up some to turn to him. “Can’t you just let me be?”
“No. I can’t. Get up. We’re going out.”
“Didn’t I tell you I look an awful mess?” I pointed to my face which was all the backup I needed for my words. I hadn’t looked in a mirror recently but I was sure I looked like I had just went through a shredder.
He cupped my chin with his hand and said, “You look gorgeous with no makeup.”
“Stop flirting with me, Draxler. You know I’m vulnerable right now.” I slapped his hand away and went back to burying my face in the pillow, listening to his vibrant chuckle echo throughout the room.
“You’re such a drama queen. You act like you won’t ever see Allie again. I’m sure she’ll come visit and bring you out there sometimes. You’ve got to be happy for her finding happiness with the love of her life.”
I quickly interjected my overly harsh, irrational opinion. “Who gets married at 22 anyway? An idiot that’s who.” I liked her new husband so it wasn’t like I stood by those words. I was ecstatic that she had found the one and was even jealous that it wasn’t me trotting off to a new place to call home with the man that I loved.
Instead I was stuck in Gelsenkirchen.
With Julian Draxler.
“Well I was planning on marrying you when we turn 24 so…we’re not too far off,” he shrugged with a chuckle.
“By the time you get the balls to ask me out, I’ll be married to Fernando Torres,” I joked back. It was probably the first joke I had partook in in a week. I rolled over and finally sat up in the bed, looking directly at Julian who had an obnoxious, satisfied grin on his face probably because he had succeeded in at least getting me up.
“As long as I can get you to have my child before you’re off with him, I’ll take that. Now…” He playfully slapped a hand down onto my thigh before standing up. “Let’s go.”
“Where exactly are we going?” My eyes narrowed in confusion. It seemed he was always up to something.
“Just come on. Slip into something and meet me downstairs.”
“Can’t I just go naked?” I smirked, pulling the comforter from my body so I could actually rise from the bed.
“Eh, I think the neighbors have suffered enough don’t you think?”
I quickly grabbed for a pillow and threw it at a laughing Julian, who had quick enough reflexes to catch it before it him in the head.
“Get out. I’m coming.”
Julian nodded and trotted out of the room while I reached for a pair of pants to slide in, figuring the shirt I had on was decent enough to be seen in public in. I wasn’t sure how far exactly this trip would take us but I hoped not too far as my outfit wasn’t all that great and I planned on pulling my hair into a messy ponytail.
Once dressed, I headed downstairs as instructed and Julian was waiting already by the door. I expected him to begin to walk out of the door but instead, he motioned me to follow him back upstairs. “Change of plans,” he explained.
I didn’t question it but instead followed along silently. He pushed the door open to the guest room and headed straight towards the large window, pushing it open.
“What are you doing?”
Halfway out of the window already, he took a brief look back to me. “We’re going to the roof.” Without another word, he stuck one leg out and then the other to land out on the small window balcony. Reluctantly, I followed. It wasn’t like I hadn’t been up here before. Me and Allie used the small getaway plenty of times when were younger and I had a feeling Julian used that for reasoning why we were up here currently.
“What do you have up your sleeves, Draxler?” I stood next to him and embraced the still cool air breeze that hit me momentarily.
“Remember when we were 17 and Allie tricked you into yelling ‘ I love Julian’ up here and I heard you?”
My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as I reluctantly responded. “…Yeah?”
“I want to hear it again.”
“I want to hear it,” he reiterated with a smile.
“How is this going to make me feel better?”
“It isn’t. I’m doing this for myself,” he chuckled. I couldn’t help but laugh as well and playfully push him lightly in the chest, cautious to not put much force into it or else he’d end up falling.
“Hey hey! Be careful. You don’t want to end up in the news for killing your secret lover,” he joked.
“You’re not my secret lover!”
“I’m not?” He offered a taunting raise of his eyebrow and a semi-serious look. His hands soon reached to either side of my hips and pulled me close. His eyes searched mine and I couldn’t break the stare and current hold we had on each other. Without hesitation, Julian gingerly planted his lips on mine, gently taking my bottom lip into his mouth sensually. I wilted under his touch, my eyes closing and my body falling into the romantic kiss.
He let me enjoy it for a while longer before breaking the kiss though his lips still remained dangerously close. “Say it,” he commanded while his soft lips brushed against mine.
Our stare was intense and so were my words as I spoke them between the two of us. “I love Julian Draxler.”
“Louder,” he demanded, our foreheads once connected until I moved my head back to prevent yelling directly in his ear.
“I LOVE JULIAN DRAXLER!”
The sound of a car door shutting broke us from the quasi-romantic love scene and our eyes drifted down to the driveway to see my father looking up at us curiously. “Again? Way to tell us what we already know.” He gave a playful shake of his head before continuing to head inside, leaving me and Julian in a fit of laughter.
I truly did love J.D. and his ability to make me feel better was just one of the many reasons why.
gif credit to juliandraxlerfans.