lets remember the happy times instead of the recent heartbreak we all went through

Adored by Him

Characters: Sam x reader, Sam’s girlfriend, Dean

Word Count: 1686

Warnings: angst. Heartbreak.

Summary: You’re in love with Sam, but he’s in love with someone else. When they fight and take a break, will you take a selfish chance? Or will you do what you know is right?

Author’s Note: I really like this song called Adored by Him by Dodie, so I made yet another story with it. Lyrics will be bolded. It’s tough on the heart, but the right thing is done(pretty weird way to put it. I know). Feedback is always appreciated! enjoy xx

Originally posted by sam-and-dean-winchesters

You had been hunting with Sam and Dean for around five years now. You and Dean were always closer than you and Sam, but Sam was the one you vented to because you didn’t want to put all of your problems on Dean.

That changed when you started to fall for Sam. You would get nervous around him, and your heart would start beating faster. You would feel like you were on cloud nine whenever the two of you had a conversation.

You hid the way you felt for so long that Dean started noticing the changes in your attitude. “What the hell is going on with you?” He asks in a hushed tone.

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Little Too Perfect, Little Too Worth It.

I had never felt the empty feeling accompanied with a loss like this one. I had sent myself to wallow in my own misery in my bedroom for as long as possible, my dark black drapes draining out any sight of the sun outside making it seem as if it was approaching night in my room though in reality it was early afternoon.

The state of my room was utter chaos and that was probably a microcosm of my mind. Because I didn’t know how to feel, I didn’t know what to do. My best friend had left me for an entirely new country and what was I supposed to do with that news? Jump with glee?

Granted, I had fair warning and I had months to prepare for her departure to her new home in a foreign land with her new husband but that didn’t help prepare me for her actually not being there in the mornings when I wanted to pop into some shoes and walk a few houses down to loudly tap on her bedroom window to wake her up like we did when we were in high school.

We had been like two peas in a pod since nearly birth. She was there for every major event of my life and I hers including her wedding where I was the maid of honor. It just felt empty now to know she wasn’t just a drive away but a flight away instead.

And so maybe I had stage 10 clinger issues with my best friend. So what?! She was really all that I knew and the only person I really considered a true friend in this town. Someone I could spill all my secrets to, someone I could cry to. She was everything for me that no one else could be and I felt that now I had officially lost my best friend.

“I know you’re not going to sit in this room and mope again today.”

Julian’s disapproving voice rang out through the once silent bedroom as he entered and shut the door behind him. I didn’t bother to verbalize a response to him, instead keeping my face buried in the pillows and offered a muffled, nearly incoherent response. “Go away. I don’t want you to see me like this. In all my non-makeup, puffy for the past three day eyes and messy hair.”

Julian was my other best friend. I liked to call him the bright side of our trio. When me and Allie were in a bad mood or worse, faced with the labor of period pains or temporary heartbreak, Julian always dropped by with bags of chocolates, romantic movies, and a warm smile to make us forget what was even bothering us. He had helped Allie through quite a few drunken nights and had even talked her off of the ledge the day before her wedding when she got cold feet.

She hadn’t stopped thanking him since.

He had a habit of always finding a way to make us feel better but I didn’t want to feel better right now. I wanted to mope and whine like an abandoned child. Too bad he was Julian and that wasn’t going to happen.

I could feel the bed dip with the pressure of him sitting next to me, his hand drifting to my hair and gently running his fingers through it. I was surprised his hands didn’t get tangled in the mess in the process.

“Get up.” He used his other arm to forcefully shake me which caused me to raise my head from the pillow and sit up some to turn to him. “Can’t you just let me be?”

“No. I can’t. Get up. We’re going out.”

“Didn’t I tell you I look an awful mess?” I pointed to my face which was all the backup I needed for my words. I hadn’t looked in a mirror recently but I was sure I looked like I had just went through a shredder.

He cupped my chin with his hand and said, “You look gorgeous with no makeup.”

“Stop flirting with me, Draxler. You know I’m vulnerable right now.” I slapped his hand away and went back to burying my face in the pillow, listening to his vibrant chuckle echo throughout the room.

“You’re such a drama queen. You act like you won’t ever see Allie again. I’m sure she’ll come visit and bring you out there sometimes. You’ve got to be happy for her finding happiness with the love of her life.”

I quickly interjected my overly harsh, irrational opinion. “Who gets married at 22 anyway? An idiot that’s who.” I liked her new husband so it wasn’t like I stood by those words. I was ecstatic that she had found the one and was even jealous that it wasn’t me trotting off to a new place to call home with the man that I loved.

Instead I was stuck in Gelsenkirchen.

With Julian Draxler.

Yay?

“Well I was planning on marrying you when we turn 24 so…we’re not too far off,” he shrugged with a chuckle.

“By the time you get the balls to ask me out, I’ll be married to Fernando Torres,” I joked back. It was probably the first joke I had partook in in a week. I rolled over and finally sat up in the bed, looking directly at Julian who had an obnoxious, satisfied grin on his face probably because he had succeeded in at least getting me up.

“As long as I can get you to have my child before you’re off with him, I’ll take that. Now…” He playfully slapped a hand down onto my thigh before standing up. “Let’s go.”

“Where exactly are we going?” My eyes narrowed in confusion. It seemed he was always up to something.

“Just come on. Slip into something and meet me downstairs.”

“Can’t I just go naked?” I smirked, pulling the comforter from my body so I could actually rise from the bed.

“Eh, I think the neighbors have suffered enough don’t you think?”

I quickly grabbed for a pillow and threw it at a laughing Julian, who had quick enough reflexes to catch it before it him in the head.

“Get out. I’m coming.”

Julian nodded and trotted out of the room while I reached for a pair of pants to slide in, figuring the shirt I had on was decent enough to be seen in public in. I wasn’t sure how far exactly this trip would take us but I hoped not too far as my outfit wasn’t all that great and I planned on pulling my hair into a messy ponytail.

Once dressed, I headed downstairs as instructed and Julian was waiting already by the door. I expected him to begin to walk out of the door but instead, he motioned me to follow him back upstairs. “Change of plans,” he explained.

I didn’t question it but instead followed along silently. He pushed the door open to the guest room and headed straight towards the large window, pushing it open.

“What are you doing?”

Halfway out of the window already, he took a brief look back to me. “We’re going to the roof.” Without another word, he stuck one leg out and then the other to land out on the small window balcony. Reluctantly, I followed. It wasn’t like I hadn’t been up here before. Me and Allie used the small getaway plenty of times when were younger and I had a feeling Julian used that for reasoning why we were up here currently.

“What do you have up your sleeves, Draxler?” I stood next to him and embraced the still cool air breeze that hit me momentarily.

“Remember when we were 17 and Allie tricked you into yelling ‘ I love Julian’ up here and I heard you?”

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as I reluctantly responded. “…Yeah?”

“I want to hear it again.”

“What?”

“I want to hear it,” he reiterated with a smile.

“How is this going to make me feel better?”

“It isn’t. I’m doing this for myself,” he chuckled. I couldn’t help but laugh as well and playfully push him lightly in the chest, cautious to not put much force into it or else he’d end up falling.

“Hey hey! Be careful. You don’t want to end up in the news for killing your secret lover,” he joked.

“You’re not my secret lover!”

“I’m not?” He offered a taunting raise of his eyebrow and a semi-serious look. His hands soon reached to either side of my hips and pulled me close. His eyes searched mine and I couldn’t break the stare and current hold we had on each other. Without hesitation, Julian gingerly planted his lips on mine, gently taking my bottom lip into his mouth sensually. I wilted under his touch, my eyes closing and my body falling into the romantic kiss.

He let me enjoy it for a while longer before breaking the kiss though his lips still remained dangerously close. “Say it,” he commanded while his soft lips brushed against mine.

Our stare was intense and so were my words as I spoke them between the two of us. “I love Julian Draxler.”

“Louder,” he demanded, our foreheads once connected until I moved my head back to prevent yelling directly in his ear.

“I LOVE JULIAN DRAXLER!”

The sound of a car door shutting broke us from the quasi-romantic love scene and our eyes drifted down to the driveway to see my father looking up at us curiously. “Again? Way to tell us what we already know.” He gave a playful shake of his head before continuing to head inside, leaving me and Julian in a fit of laughter.

I truly did love J.D. and his ability to make me feel better was just one of the many reasons why.

gif credit to juliandraxlerfans.

Clarity

Rating: T

Prompt: “Why would you say that to me?” “Because I love you.” Requested by @riarklemedia

By: Nicole / @riarklevevo

Word Count: 3274

Warnings: None

A/N: This took five years b/c I rewrote it so many times just to get it right.

Farkle Minkus had his fair share of bad days, failed experiments, and embarrassing moments. All of that combined was nothing in comparison to the amount of anxiety Farkle felt when he had to sit next to Riley Matthews. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t like her, the problem was how much he liked her. Every single time he was around her, he felt so at peace and he was so painfully aware of it. Every time her arm raised to tuck her hair behind her ear, he was so tempted to just reach out and do it for her. Sometimes, she would lean so close to him and he swore he could feel every single cell in his body suddenly ignite. And since they were partners for projects so often, there were moments that he could become so stressed with the work. When Riley noticed it, she would always start rubbing his neck and he would instantly soften. He was so comfortable around Riley that it made him feel uncomfortable.

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Beautiful Distraction

a/n: If you can, read this chapter with Kris’s There is A Place <<click for playlist.  It is highly recommended because as I was listening I realized it was super relevant to the chapter and also paced it perfectly!    

Table of Contents 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Chapter o7.  Separate Universes

Floating in complete oblivion and emptiness.  It was dark and cold yet you weren’t scared because you could still feel Tao’s presence near you.  It was faint and fading but enough to keep you sane.  You couldn’t feel any of your limbs; you just felt like a mass of wandering dying energy. 

“________ah, how are you feeling today?” your lover’s voice sounded. 

You turned in circles trying to find him but all you encounter was endless blackness.  Zitao…

“Do you like the tulips I bought you today?” he asked, sniffing back tears, “Th-they’re as pink as your beautiful blushing cheeks…I-I just wanted you to be with me”.

Even though he tried his best to muffle his sobs, you could tell that he was crying.

“I-I…miss you so much, please come back to me,” he choked.

You wanted to cry too but couldn’t.  So this was how being in a separate universe felt like.  As his cries heightened, you wanted more than anything to just let him hear your voice once more to tell him that you still loved him even if you could no longer see him.  So you prayed and begged for God or any superior entity to let you have one more chance to meet with your lover…in a dream…in an illusion…anything…even if…even if it meant you’d be banished into the deepest level of fiery hell…because even that wouldn’t hurt as much as hearing the one you love break apart into pieces. 

Hours must have passed as you silently listened to Tao’s sobs intensify.  Even though you weren’t sure if you even had a heart anymore, this sour feeling lingered in the middle of your floating form. 

Zitao…please…don’t do this to yourself. 

“I just want you back…” he wailed over and over again. 

Please…

Silence engulfed you for a long time…except a rhythmic tapping noise in the background.  And the darkness grew darker without his voice.  It was scary but at the same time you were relieved because the less you heard from him, the higher chances it was that Tao got over you. 

“Hey…” you heard his voice again.

The place surrounding you lightened up a bit.

“You look beautiful today as usual…” he whispered.

You internally sighed.  He seemed happier today. 

“I should have told you that more when you were still with me…” he spoke regretfully. 

No…don’t…Zitao…

And then just like before, the cries began.  With it, the burning sensation spread throughout your midriff but you couldn’t do anything…you couldn’t even lift a hand to ease the pain.

“Please,” he pleaded, “Please give me another chance to tell you…” he choked, “I love you”. 

It’s okay Tao.  It will be okay.  Trust me.  It will hurt for a while, just like with Annie but one day you will be fine, okay?  So, please…stay strong. 

“I can’t go on without you…” he spoke and you felt like thousands of needles had punctured your chest. 

His sobs were so, so heartbreaking.  But all you could do was stay still and listen…again praying to the Heavens for a chance to tell Tao your last words.

 

 

He came back the next day. 

“Today, the florist recommended me to get these lilacs.  They smell really good.  Can you smell them?” he asked. 

A fresh and sweet scent drifted from the breeze that flowed passed you. 

Yes, yes I can, Zitao.

“But I told her no matter how good their scent was…it wasn’t as good as the perfume you used to use and the fragrance of your beautiful long hair,” he said tearfully. 

Zitao…

This time you weren’t surprised when the sobs began.  Instead, you looked up to the ceiling of endless darkness and for the first time you felt a wet feeling slid down your eyes.  The environment before you clouded up and began to shake. 

“I-I want you back.  What do I have to do to bring you back to me?” Tao asked desperately between wails. 

I’m right here, my love.  Please don’t do this to yourself.  Please, it’ll be okay soon. 

“I don’t know how long I can keep going on without you…it’s so meaningless…” he slurred.  You heard a loud “thud”. 

Frantically, you tried to search for him but again the blackness set in. 

 

And it became a familiar schedule.  Everyday, Tao visited you, sometimes talking about the gorgeous flowers, sometimes playing some classical music for you to hear, sometimes talking about the recent Kpop gossip in case you were still interested.  But it always ended with his cries for you to return to him.  At the beginning, he sounded a bit drowsy and delirious.  You worried that he had been drinking but he reassured you that he wasn’t and that it was merely just lack of sleep. 

“Hey Babe, how are you feeling today?”

Hey my love, I’m doing fine.  You?

“I’m feeling better.  Last night, I dug out our high school year book,” he said and then chuckled. 

It lasted only a split second but it was so, so beautiful to your ears.  Immediately, your vision blurred and for the first time, you could hear yourself crying. 

“I almost forgot that you used to be a little chubby,” he laughed, “but you were so cute”. 

I love you, Zitao.  Please don’t ever forget that.

“I love you, _______” he responded.

There was a long pause and you thought he had left but then he said, “Babe, I’ll keep waiting for you…it doesn’t matter how long…I’ll keep waiting”.

His voice cracked and you prepared for him to start crying.

Please, Zitao…you need to forget about me.  Don’t wait anymore. 

There were soft sniffles but it never increase into loud wails.  Still, you desperately wanted to run to him and wrap your arms tightly around his shaking body. 

 

 

“Hey Baby,” his voice was cheerful and sweet.

Hey my love!

“I have a confession to make,” he spoke.

What is it?

“…You know how I mentioned that I would wait for you…”

Mhmm…

“But I caved…”

It’s okay, I’m glad you’re able to finally move on…just remember to visit me once in a while though…so I won’t be lonely.

 

…I…I love you…

 

“I went to the bridal shop without you…” he continued.

Huh?  Bridal shop?

“I picked a really, really pretty dress for you.  It has all these lace designs that I know you’ll love…” Tao informed. 

Zitao…please…

“So please come back to me.  I reserved it already so whenever you’re ready, you can go try it on,” he spoke. 

Zitao…I can’t though.  Please don’t do this. 

“I also started looking at rings.  Do you like simpler bands or something more flashy?” your lover discussed.

Please…

You didn’t know when the tears began but by the time you knew, your whole face was drenched.  This indescribable pain dwelled in the depths of your heart knowing that Tao was still under the illusion that you two would get married and live happily ever after. 

“We will grow old together with our grandchildren dancing around us…right?” he inquired, his voice an octave higher than usual. 

Zitao…

Your own wails echoed through the dark tunnel causing the place to shake.  You pounded your heart to stop the sour feeling from spreading to other parts of your body. 

 

 

 

“Hey Baby…” Tao’s voice sounded so happy.

Hey my love. 

“Guess who got a pay raise,” he spoke proudly. 

Really?…I always knew my Zitao was intelligent and hardworking.  Congrats my love. 

“…that means we can reserve a bigger venue for our wedding,” he announced cheerfully. 

Zitao…don’t…

“Babe…where do you want to go for our Honey Moon?” he asked.

Please…let me go.  Your sobs were so loud, the ceiling above you cracked. 

 

 

“Hey Babe,” Tao greeted.

Don’t come anymore.  I don’t want…you to come.  And already your tears were flooding the ground beneath you. 

“I love you,” he said. 

I don’t want you…to love me anymore.  You sobbed.  The agony radiated through your entire body, every vein, every cell. 

“It’s been four months…” he started.

It has…so please it’s time to let me go…

“Sleepyhead…it’s time to wake up,” Tao coaxed.

I can’t wake up…

But you could feel his gentle stroking of your cheek. 

“You’re still as beautiful as ever but your husband…I am growing old and weak waiting for you…” he said sweetly.

Don’t wait anymore…please.

“But I’ll keep waiting if you aren’t ready to wake up yet.  Take your time,” he soothed and you could feel a cold and wet smooch against your forehead.

You looked down and for the first time, you could see your hands and feet.  A small light glowed at the end of the tunnel.

“Baby, I have an important project to finish, so I have to head home first.  I’ll come back earlier tomorrow morning so we can spend more time together, okay?” he asked then finished, “I love you”.

You felt another kiss against your forehead, this time it lingered there for a while.   

 

 

 

“Hey Honey!” Tao’s voice was so, so happy you couldn’t help the foolish grin that spread on your lips. 

Hey my silly panda.  Why are you so happy? 

“The doctor called earlier telling me your fingers twitched and I immediately came over.  Can you show me too so I know that I’m not dreaming?” he asked.

You felt your hand being lifted to his lips. 

Zitao…what are you saying?  I’m so confused. 

“It would be the best birthday present…” he sniffled back tears.

Is it your birthday?!  I’m so sorry~  I lost track of time.  Aww, my boy is now twenty-five isn’t he?  Tears cascaded down your cheeks. 

“I got you red roses today.  They’re your favorite, right?” he asked, kissing your hand. 

The sweet fragrance was so strong against your nose.  You sniffed a few more times and smiled through your tears.

They smell great, Zitao.  But it’s your birthday…why are you giving me a present?  You should go party and enjoy the night. 

“You’re going to help make my wish come true, right?” he questioned with so much hope lined in his voice.

I don’t know if I can…but what is it? 

“Just come back to me…” he answered.

Zitao…I can’t do that…

But you felt a pacing thumping in your chest.  Then a jolt sent your body forward as if you had been shocked by lightning. 

Tao gasped. 

“Baby…baby…can you hear me??  I saw it.  I saw it.  Your fingers moved,” he sobbed, “Thank you.  Thank you so, so much”. 

What?  What are you saying Zitao?  But hearing his tears of joy, you couldn’t help but cry along. 

“Thank you.  Thank you so, so much.  This is the best birthday present I’ve ever gotten,” he kept repeating while crying. 

You roughly wiped away the tears in your eyes at how happy he sounded. 

He refused to leave that night. 

Dummy, isn’t the floor cold?  Go home.  Don’t get sick. 

“I love you,” he said for the tenth time while planting several kissing on your face. 

You’re so, so confused and helpless. 

 

 

“Happy one year anniversary, my love!” he greeted immediately bending over and placing his lips on the center of your forehead. 

Has it been a year together already?  Happy anniversary my love!  Even though you couldn’t see, you could smell the scent of a frosted red velvet cake.  There was some munching noise and a few chuckles. 

Zitao…are you eating the cake without me?  How dare you.  You laughed. 

“Honey, this cake is delicious.  I’ll save you a slice, okay?” he spoke.

What?!  Only a slice?  Huang Zitao!  You’re so greedy…but I love you.  Heehee. 

“You can smell it, can’t you?  I can see the soft grin on your face,” he said and you could feel his thumb stroke your forehead. 

You’re so confused…how were you able to feel all these feelings if you were dead.  Was this what Annie felt when she left Tao?  But how long was a ghost able to communicate with a human like this?  One day…you would have to leave forever. 

“I love you, Honey.  Let’s celebrate our second anniversary…third…fourth…fiftieth together,” he suggested, but then added, “But of course, when you’re healthy again.  I’ll give the whole red velvet cake to you then”. 

What…do you mean? Another jolt flowed through your body, similar to the one you felt last time, and you held your breath. 

“Honey?!  _______ah!” Tao shouted then called, “Doctor Li!  Doctor Li!  She grabbed my hand.  Is she waking up?!” 

You stared down at you hands but they remained in front of you.  When you looked up again, the environment around you was no longer black…or gray…it was white.  Your eyes widened. 

“________ah!  ________!  Can you hear me?!” your lover’s voice cried.

You blinked away the tears that clouded your vision to see Tao hovering over you.  His tears trickled down onto your cheek. 

“Zi…tao…” you coughed.

“Oh my God!” he exclaimed.

You lifted your hand to remove this thing that was covering your mouth, which you later realize was an oxygen mask, but your fiancé stopped you. 

“No, no.  Don’t do that,” he said.

You’re so confused but you listened and let your hand slide back down to your side.  Before you, Tao was so overwhelmed with emotions you could barely recognize him.  You lifted your hand up again to touch his cheek.  And it felt so, so real. You sobbed and sobbed.

“Shh…Baby don’t cry…shhh…” he coaxed, bending down to kiss your forehead and cheek.

A man dressed in a lab coat came rushing in.  Two nurses followed quickly behind him.  They motioned for Tao to move aside but you wouldn’t let go of his hand so they let him stay through the check up.  The doctor shined a light into both your pupils while the nurses knocked on your elbow and knees to check for reflexes. 

“Can you tell me your full name and the relation you have with this man,” the doctor asked to test your memory skills.

“My name is _______ _______.  He is my fiancé,” you replied and the doctor nodded to inform you that you had answered correctly.

It finally came to your realization that you had been in a coma these past months…and Tao had been unconditionally waiting for you to wake up.  You turned to look at your fiancé.  Beside you, Tao was constantly wiping tears of joy from his eyes.  You squeezed his hand.

The doctors did another round of test and exams before announcing that you had officially conquered your coma.  However, they cautioned for you to rest as much as possible for your body was still quite weak.  So you obediently slid back to a sleeping position on the bed.  When the doctors left you two alone, you quietly observed your lover.  He was so much thinner and paler than you last recalled. 

“I’ve waited so long for this day to come…” he spoke, his voice cracking and tears filling up his eyes again. 

“I…I know…” you tearfully responded, “I know everything”. 

“Okay. Okay…shh…don’t cry…please.  The doctor told you to not be too emotional, remember?” he said sweetly. 

“I know…but how am I supposed to contain my tears.  I haven’t seen you for so many months.  I thought I died.  I thought…I thought you were foolishly waiting for a dead person to be revived,” you sobbed. 

“Shh…” Tao shushed then planted his lips onto yours.  You kissed him back with all the love you concealed for the past months. 

“I love you,” he said and you whimpered.

“I love you too, Zitao.  I love you so, so much,” you said, giving him another smooch on the lips. 

He ran his fingers through your hair and looked into your eyes oh so lovingly you thought you were going to faint.  His eyes were glowing like mystical orbs.  His lashes brimmed with tears and his lips curled up at the corners. 

“I miss you,” you admitted.

“Don’t ever leave me,” he replied.

“I won’t,” you assured, placing your hand around his neck and pulling him in for another kiss.

His lips were so soft and tender.  You missed kissing them so much.  When you finally broke from the kiss to breathe, your eyes sparkled into his.

“Simple band.  Italy.  And can I see my wedding dress?” you said.

Tao looked at you puzzled at first but then he gasped when he began to comprehend what you were referring to. 

“Yeah, yeah of course,” he said, digging into his pocket for his phone. 

He swiped a few times and brought the phone in front of you.  Just like he had described, it was a beautiful lace long-sleeve gown, similar to a royal duchess’s.

“Waa…My Taozi has such good taste,” you exclaimed, throwing him a goofy smile.

When he doesn’t reply, you turned away from the phone to him. 

With a frown, you questioned, “W-why are you crying?”

“You…you were able to hear me?” he questioned, wiping away his tears but they kept falling. 

Sitting upright, you scooted over to him.  With your slender fingers, you erased the tears from his eyes and nodded in affirmation, “I heard everything”.

He sobbed at your answer so you threw your arms around him.  His arms curled around your waist. 

Choking back tears, you detailed, “I heard everything…I heard you tell me you were going to wait for me to come back.  I smelled the tulips, the daisies, the lilacs, the lilies, the roses that you got me.  I felt your hand stroke my cheeks, your lips kiss my forehead.  Everything.  I was there with you the whole time”.

Tao separated the hug to stare into your watery eyes with his glistening ones.  Automatically, your lips met together in another passionate kiss. 

Forever.  I want to spend forever with you. 

 

 

a/n: Let’s all have a group hug to recuperate from all the trolling and emotional rollercoasters the MASTER PANDA made all her bunnies and unicorns go through. 

Last chapter tomorrow!  Will we get our happy ending or will the panda appear again? 

Remember to like, comment, and follow :3 I swear I don’t bite! 

???

2

In Defense of Taylor Swift: Her Songwriting, Her Timing, Her Terms

by NATALIE FINN | Thu, Jul 14, 2016 3:57 PM

While every devoted fan base is the same, every angry Twitter mob is angry in its own way.

Sure, the general sense of self-righteousness and arbitrary loyalty to a cause that most partakers were just alerted to is always present as the judgment gets underway via hashtag. But even though ultimately the overall effect is the same, something new ticks haters off every time.

First it was Taylor Swift ’s latest romance, the singer having moved on too quickly for some people’s tastes after her last relationship. That always gets the gears grinding, when the popular girl swoops in and steals your pretend boyfriend.

We know that Taylor knows her love life is ripe for the picking at.

Many times over she’s said that she has made a choice in choosing to open up about past experiences in her music, the consequence of her choice being that people—fans and otherwise—have ended up grossly fascinated by every move she makes in between albums as well.

Doesn’t mean she does not deserve privacy. Taylor just knows that’s a long shot. Her decision to not steal away with Tom Hiddleston to a private island only accessible by dinghy so they could enjoy the early weeks of their romance without being tracked everywhere they went was a conscious one. Which doesn’t mean it was a calculated decision, but it wasn’t made in a vacuum, either.

At the same time it wasn’t a blank check for no one to take Tom and Taylor seriously. Who doesn’t want to fall in love right after a breakup? There wouldn’t be such a thing as a messy, drawn-out, painful split if a British heartthrob who is actually taller than your 5 feet and 10 inches is waiting in the wings.

But a lot of people tend to cast themselves in the starring role of their own fairytale and not like it when it happens to someone else. Especially when that someone else is supposed to be the poster girl for heartbreak, not happily ever after.

Such is the catch-22 Taylor must be used to by now. What she’s not so used to is the world weighing in so negatively on her business. Not her personal business. Her business-business.

Which really is the reason we care about any of this in the first place. If Taylor Swift weren’t so damn good at what she does in the recording studio and onstage, none of this [waving my hand demonstratively] would matter.

Lines in the sand have been drawn before. Katy Perry vs. Taylor. Kanye West vs. Taylor. Spotify vs. Taylor. But the advent of the #TaylorSwiftIsOverParty yesterday after Calvin Harris went from compliment to personal attack on his ex-girlfriend in a span of a few tweets surprised us. Mostly because Twitter has always seemed to be Taylor’s domain, as it’s the domain of Justin BieberOne DirectionBeyoncé and maybe a few others who can usually count on a legion of supporters to burst forth and tear down whoever has besmirched their beloved idol’s honor.

It was also surprising, though, because Harris was reacting to seemingly nothing, a headline that shocked exactly no one.

After weeks of speculation, Taylor’s rep confirmed that the artist had written “This Is What You Came For,” Harris’ most recent hit song featuring Rihanna, which came out April 29 (pre-breakup), followed by a video on June 17 (post-breakup). Intrepid listeners sensed Taylor on background vocals, and then she was briefly listed as a co-writer on the song’s Wikipedia page, her name soon to be replaced by Nils Sjöberg.

E! News confirmed that was an alias she sometimes used when wanting to fly under the radar, musically. But Harris had denied on April 29 that he and Taylor had plans to work together, he didn’t see it happening, so… We were all just left with vague assurance that the Internet was right about this one, but then we forgot about it. Because Hiddleswift.

However, just yesterday came the official confirmation, triggered by a TMZ story citing sources that pegged Taylor as the writer and stated that Harris’ aforementioned interview had really upset her, pretty much leading to the end of their relationship.

Now, no one’s motives are completely transparent here, because a source has told us that Taylor used that alias and excused herself from the spotlight in the moment so as not to take away from Calvin’s song. So it at least seemed like they had a plan—but maybe Harris got a little too carried away with taking all the credit, flashing pics of his platinum records on Snapchat and sub-denying the co-writing rumor when it first came up a few weeks ago.

Harris first tweeted out a story confirming Swift’s role (his choice to do so), adding, “And she sings on a little bit of it too [upside-down face] Amazing lyric writer and she smashed it as usual.”

Then came the perfectly valid though probably unnecessary: “I wrote the music, produced the song, arranged it and cut the vocals though. And initially she wanted it kept secret, hence the pseudonym.” (I think it’s the “though” that throws it all off. No one was doubting that you made the song the EDM hit that it is, sir.)

And then the flood came, with Harris then charging that Taylor was trying to make him look bad. Which was seemingly in response to TMZ’s note about Taylor having been mad at Calvin’s we-aren’t-collaborating interview, but perhaps the DJ-producer just felt targeted one too many times by the glut of headlines he’s for some reason choosing to read about him and his breakup (always a bad choice).

Then came the bit that made it fairly apparent Calvin has indeed been keeping up with the news lately but maybe had never read it before: “I figure if you’re happy in your new relationship you should focus on that instead of trying to tear your ex bf down for something to do.”

Then he said he wouldn’t let her do to him what she did to Katy Perry, which prompted Perry to do a little subtweeting of her own.

It’s hard to say what exactly went through his head in the nine minutes between tweets one and three, but after he was done, the twitterverse ate it up. Hence #TaylorSwiftPartyIsOver trending worldwide.

Interestingly, Taylor’s Album of the Year speech at the Grammys—a response at the time to Kanye West’s “I made that bitch famous” line on TLOP’s “Famous"—once again applies, at least a bit.

"I want to say to all the young women out there, there are going to be people along the way who will try to undercut your success or take credit for your accomplishments or your fame,” she said. 

“But if you just focus on the work and you don’t let those people sidetrack you, someday, when you get where you are going, you will look around and you will know that it was you and the people who love you who put you there. And that will be the greatest feeling in the world. Thank you for this moment.”

Calvin Harris obviously wasn’t strategically injecting Taylor Swift into his song to further capitalize on one of the most notorious interactions in awards show history and all the publicity that each got as a result, as Kanye was. 

Quite the opposite. And Taylor was complicit in keeping quiet about her role on “This Is What You Came For.” But let’s remember, Kanye has insisted that Taylor was in on “Famous” too, that she gave her OK when he talked to her about it.

“Taylor was never made aware of the actual lyric,” her rep told us afterward.

No one was going to seriously believe that Taylor owed her success to Kanye in any way and not acknowledging her role wasn’t preventing her from getting paid for "This Is What You Came For.“

Neither slight on its own is the stuff career nightmares are made of—but when would have been a good time to take her credit and call it a day? Earlier, later, what’s the difference? She wrote the melody and the lyrics, there you go. She was, in the most mild of fashions, admitting what a lot of people had already figured out.

So despite Twitter’s excitement, Calvin didn't expose some shocking truth about Taylor. Rather, he made it pretty clear that he’s not above mixing business with the personal.

Of course, that same thing can be said about Taylor, who’s a master at making the private public. But by letting her life’s ups and downs play out on stage, that has made what she doesn’t say on Twitter, while the world feuds around her, all the more purposeful.

Meanwhile, she’s built one of the biggest pop careers of all time by turning her feelings into our feelings. And better yet, on song after song, she’s always been happy to give credit exactly where it’s due. That’s what everybody comes for.

For Tonight

A/N: fluff warning. I don’t know what’s happening to me, I feel like writing just comes to me in random surges. Almost every other couple has had a similar moment. Anyhooo..

Please let me know what you guys think of this!!


Amelia Shepherd was not the kind of doctor to get emotionally attached to patients. She’s the kind of neurosurgeon that was constantly fascinated by tumors and the way the human body worked against itself. That’s what she cared about and occupied her mind. How the patient went on to live, that was their business.

This time, however, for the first time she found herself having to try really hard to not to get attached. This was the smartest happiest little girl she has ever met. Her name was Victoria, she was 6 and she already knew the basic brain and nervous system anatomy and medical terms. It wasn’t even that, Victoria shone through, and it was all despite the big frontal lobe tumor that protruded out of her forehead.

She told herself that it would be okay if she got attached, because she was a miracle worker, and she would remove the tumor and Victoria would be okay. She forgot that sometimes life is a total bitch, you could do everything right, and for no logical reason, and it still wouldn’t work. These were one of these times, the surgery went perfectly, but her small body didn’t handle it, and she passed away on the table.

She was now standing in the hospital’s catwalk, staring out the big window at the Seattle sky and cursing whatever is out there that makes these things happen. Arizona Robbins, who assisted in the surgery, came after her when she stormed out the OR.

“Hey,” the pediatric surgeon started softly, “it’s always harder when they’re little humans.”

“Yeah, I know, it’s just… it’s not fair,” Amelia knew her bitterness came out like she was the one who’s 6, but she couldn’t help it.

“Don’t blame yourself, you did everything in your power,” The blonde rubbed her back friendly, “If you want, I’ll tell the family.”

“No, I have to be there, just, give me a second? Please?” She sniffed and forced a smile to let her colleague know she was okay.

As soon as Arizona turned around, she saw the well built trauma surgeon already looking at them from afar with heartbreaking eyes. She knew that look, she’s had it before, when you so badly want to help someone you love but you’re scared they don’t feel the same way. Arizona tilted her head and shared a knowing look with Owen, and they both understood, so she just left.

He approached the little woman slowly, careful to not startle her, “Hi,” he simply began, his voice already filled with compassion.

She turned around immediately at the sound of his voice; it seemed like he would never stop having that effect on her no matter how long they’ve been apart, maybe even especially that they’re apart.

“Hey,” it took her a few seconds to understand the notion in his eyes. “You already heard,” she stated after clearing her throat, “Of course you’ve heard.”

“I saw, actually,” he took a step closer, “You were… flawless,” he caused Amelia to snort with irony. “You were, sometimes it’s just out of our hand.”

“Then what’s the point?!” she was mad, but not at him. She turned her head to the side, hoping he wouldn’t notice how her eyes were now getting wet. She shook it off and continued, “I’m sorry, it’s just- I keep trying to remember the last time I was really happy. Recently the only aspect working out has been work, and now even that is gone.”

“That’s not right, you’re still a brilliant doctor,” He leaned beside her against the metal railing, “and you’re still pulling through and sober, god knows I haven’t been as strong, and that’s important Amelia, that counts for something…”

She turned her head to the side again and bit her lip so she would have a physical pain to focus on. Her head moved in a miniscule movement that she wasn’t sure if Owen even noticed it. Except that he did, he noticed everything about her.

“Amelia,” his voice shifted to a more serious tone, turning his whole body toward her again, “You are sober, right?”

“I am again,” her voice broke. She felt so small in front of him she wished the earth would swallow her and she’ll never have to face him like that again, “Don’t lecture me, okay?” she stopped him when he opened his mouth to speak again, “It’s been hard since my boyfriend shut me out and the person I thought was family kicked me out then got brutally attacked. I slipped, okay? I’m sober again, so don’t. Please.”

Owen realized he wasn’t in a place to preach right now, he has contributed enough to all his mess. So he relaxed again to his previous position and changed the topic immediately, “So, when was the last time you were really happy?”

She looked at him, a little taken off guard that he really let her be, and when she realized he might be the only person who really understood, she decided to answer the question truthfully. “It was the 18th of May 2015. Derek came back, and I had finished my final follow ups with Herman, and… We were together. That night I came over to that tiny trailer and we were both so tired from that day with the policemen so we just slept together. Literally, we didn’t even have sex, it’s kind of sad when I say it out loud. I just miss when my biggest problem was being scared of falling for you.”

Just talking about the memory automatically plastered a smile on both their faces.

Owen sighed and stepped back from her and the railing and asked with suspicious determination, “When does your shift end?”

“It already ended, but I still have to talk to the family,” she remembered and started walking with him down the catwalk to get it done with.

“Okay, so you go do that, and meet me at the front door,” He ordered casually.

“Owen, you don’t have to-”

“I don’t. I won’t do anything, just meet me, okay?” He cut her off and beat her so he could change and wait for her, leaving her with no choice.

“Where are you taking me?” Amelia whined.

“Curiosity killed the cat,” he teased.

She had to resort to sulking helplessly and watching to figure out where he was going. When they arrived, her instinct was to protest right away, “Owen, no, I told you, I have a place to stay, I can’t stay with you!”

“Mia, lovingly, shut up and get out of the car.” The cheesy grin from earlier was still stuck on his face. He watched as she reluctantly listened to him, the nickname trick would get her to do almost anything.

She was surprised when instead of going into the apartments building, he walked past it. She followed him, even more intrigued to know what was happening. When they finally arrived to the small clearing behind the building, it all made sense.

The trailer, it stood there in all its glory. Meredith did let him keep the trailer after all. Amelia didn’t fully get it; he had an apartment, why would he still keep it?

“Barely anybody comes back here,” he broke the silence after a few seconds, “I couldn’t let go of the trailer, too many memories.” He walked in front so that he would face her instead of looking at the mobile home, “This doesn’t fix anything, I know that, and I’m not suggesting we get back together or even have sex, I don’t know if we’re ready for that. But just for tonight, we could… sleep together. Be pathetic again. Not everything has to be a mess tonight.”

Amelia tried her hardest to mask her growing smirk, but it was nearly impossible. She contemplated for a few seconds but her mind just went “Oh what the hell?” so she reached out for his hand and they went in together to cuddle on the convertible bed.

It was just as she was slipping to dreamland that he remembered.

“Amelia?” he checked softly if she was asleep yet

“Mhm?” She said only half conscious.

“Earlier you said that your biggest fear was falling for me.”

“Yeah?” she mumbled

“Are you still scared?”

“No, silly, I’ve already fallen by now.” it was a good thing she might not remember this in the morning, a part of her brain thought.

“I love you too, Mia.” Was the last thing he said to her as he drifted to sleep as well.