lets not forget on top of all this shit i had to deal with

The White Dress.

This story is about my friends MIL, and her wedding. Strap in guys, this is a wild ride in which I did THE THING that got me banned from any of her family functions. (Plus a few threats of dismemberment and bodily harm)

A good friend of mine from university was getting married! They had been a couple since Junior year of college, through her 2 years in the peace corps and currently her return to this continent. 6 years in total. She had been to all manner of family functions and always came back with a strange story about how she thinks her MIL secretly hates her. But she being a very quiet and sweet person pushed those thoughts aside.

Point 1: She is vegetarian and jewish, husband is not. She was invited and went to Christmas dinner and figured she would just eat sides, as well she brought a vegetarian casserole. MIL, after knowing her for THREE years, and being told by husband a few weeks before about not to forget friend doesn’t eat meat…proceeded to put meat in every dish. Friend drank water and ate her casserole the whole night while MIL cried to everyone that friend was so rude for not eating her cooking.

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Top 9 Most Fight-Able Characters in Mystic Messenger

(ranked by the likelihood of winning from least to most likely)

9. “Mary” Vanderwood, Secret Agent Murdermonster

Result: A swift and painful death

Are you shitting me? You’ll be goddamn eviscerated on the spot. Not to mention nobody will ever find your body. This is completely fucking unadvisable. DO NOT DO THIS unless you have a DEATH WISH and want to disappear from the world completely. Vanderwood is not to be messed with. They’ve killed many a worthy foe, and you will not be one of them. There’s not much else to say here. I don’t care who you are, you should not challenge Vanderwood. Say your prayers, fucker

8. Unknown/Saeran Choi, Total Edgelord

Result: Utter defeat, probably followed by torture + imprisonment

I don’t think you need me to tell you that this kid is fucking off his rocker. Let’s be real, he’s probably killed a few people, and he enjoyed every minute of it. You can bet your ass he’ll likely torture you after defeating you, too. And you know, some of you sick fucks will probably enjoy the whole damn ordeal. You’re probably the only ones who’d WANT to fight him just to have him fucking step on you. Well congratu-fucking-lations, you got what you wanted. He still beats your ass. The only reason Vanderwood beats him in this ranking is because it’s possible he’d keep you alive for fun, and some of you would enjoy that, so at least it’s a fuckin victory for somebody. Fuck.

7. Jaehee Kang, Smarter than the CEO

Result: Total annihilation + jail time

Do you see this face? This is the face of someone who has been repressing violent urges for fucking years for the sake of keeping her job. If she could snap Jumin’s neck, she would in a heartbeat. You do not want to give her a justifiable reason to unleash that utter fucking rage on your sorry ass. Did you forget she has a black belt in judo? She could beat my ass. She could beat your ass. She could beat anyone’s ass. I don’t care WHO you think you are. And after the fight? She’ll report you to the proper authorities, pick up a cup of coffee, and finish her daily tasks like nothing fucking happened. What a wild bitch. I fucking love her to death, tbh. And you know what? How dare you challenge her. She deals with enough shit in her life. I hope she beats your ass with a righteous fucking fury. Have fun in jail, dipshit.

6. God 707, Meme Lord Supreme

Result: Depends on your approach, but probably a failure

Honestly Seven’s about as fucking predictable as a lunch box full of wasps. What am I even supposed to say here? He’d probably imitate that shitty ass vine meme the first time you punch him and say “I can’t believe you’ve done this”, complete with a British accent, but when you keep hitting, it’ll confuse him. The element of surprise is probably your best bet, but you also have no fucking clue what he’ll do. He might beat the shit out of you. He might scamper away on his scrawny ass legs and proceed to hack into everything you once loved or held dear. He might lay down on the ground and let you kick the shit out of him. In the end, it depends on his mood. Is that reliable at all? Absolutely fucking not. So go for it, but I literally have no idea how it’s gonna turn out for you.

5. Zen/Hyun Ryu, A God Among Men

Result: You have a good chance of winning, but at what cost?

OK BEFORE YOU LOSE YOUR MIND LISTEN THE FUCK UP. Why is Zen higher up on the list, Nani??? you ask me, pouting, clutching your Zen body pillow(s) in agony. Zen had a bad past!! He’s not easy to fight, he was such a bad boy!! v//w//v He’s so tough and strong and he’s our knight in shining armor! Hey!! Good for you! But GUESS FUCKING WHAT!! If you’re female, he’ll probably forfeit to you immediately, unlike the barbarians before him on this list, so technically he’s easier to fight! He’d probably LET you beat the shit out of him if it made you feel better. It’s not even a fucking question of who would win if a woman challenged him, so we’re gonna move on.
Now, if you’re a GUY, he’d be more willing to square up, and my advice is go for his face. Pretty boy doesn’t like messing up his pretty mug, and if you play dirty, he’ll get scared real quick. His ponytail is a disadvantage for him, so yank it real hard. You have a better chance of beating him with perseverance, but if you let him get the upper hand, you’re deceased because he’s probably a heavy hitter. Also, you will incur the wrath of all his fangirls, and probably the angels above, and you will spend the rest of your life MISERABLE AND CURSED, so proceed with caution. If you can get away with it without anyone knowing your identity, you’re golden. Good luck, but also, why? do you even want to??

4. Jumin Han, Mistah Trussfund Kid (The CEO)

Result: Instant win, but your life will be RUINED

Honestly, I think certain RFA members would actually be very glad if someone handed Jumin’s ass to him, but good fucking luck accomplishing that without having your entire life destroyed. On a purely physical level, Jumin is no competition. He may be the tallest motherfucker around, but he’s never fought anyone before in his LIFE. You’d probably only have an issue here if you were short as shit, and even then, go for the knees, amirite? He’ll fall like a fucking oak tree, and then you can rip him a new one while he’s down. Easy peasy, right? WRONG. He’s got a horde of like 50 bodyguards that you have to sneak past or defeat first or something. And if you somehow make it to Jumin first, they’ll swarm your ass after you first start swinging and have you incapacitated in a few seconds. Are those first few swings worth it? Maybe. But he’s gonna sue your ass for everything you own. The whole world will know your name. If you don’t get jail time, you’ll wish you had. It will be an easier life than trying to live in the public. Zen and Jaehee might love you forever, though, so maybe they can pull a few favors for ya. You better pray they do. Good fuckin luck out there, champ.

3. Yoosung Kim, Small Child

Result: Victory, but with a catch

Look into this child’s eyes. Look me in the eyes. Tell me that Yoosung isn’t a fucking pansy. You can’t, can you? It’s because Yoosung is a fucking pansy. This kid would be down for the count after exactly one (1) punch. He might enjoy it a little too, which’ll be awkward as shit for both of you. HOWEVER. If you trigger his Yandere side, which is bullshit but whatever, he might put up more of a fight. How do you do this, you may ask? Insult Rika. or MC. (Probably Rika tho). Something inside him will snap, and then he’ll be trickier to handle. He’ll probably play dirty when he’s like this, so expect to get shanked or bitten or something. It doesn’t change the fact that his scrawny ass can’t fight for shit, so you’ll still probably win, but not without a few injuries yourself. Hurting Yoosung is probably the moral equivalent to kicking a puppy. If you can be ok with yourself after that, then I mean, go for it.

2. Rika, the Antichrist

Result: Certain victory, but extremely dangerous

Look, maybe I should’ve put her lower on the list considering she’s got an entire cult following her every order. But, honest to God, you would be morally obligated to fight her. Please beat the shit out of her. Physically, her scrawny ass could do nothing to stop you. She’s ruined the lives of her friends, as well as countless other people, because of her deranged and, quite frankly, selfish desires. Basically, she’s a little bitch. I don’t know how you’ll do it, but god damn, you’ll be everyone’s hero. The downside to this is that she might sick Saeran on you, which is gonna be a pain in your ass, and Yoosung might hate you forever, but I think you can live with that, right? Do us all a favor. Fight Rika.

1. Jihyun Kim/V, aka Flower Angel Sunshine Man

Result: Total Victory, but you’re basically Satan

BEFORE YOU SEND ME ANON HATE, REMEMBER: this is a list based on how likely you are to win. And V? V would let anyone beat him. He probably thinks he deserves it. He might defend himself a little, but he couldn’t bring himself to hurt you. Your victory would be almost immediate. There is no catch to V. You’d just win. But you’re a fucking monster for it. And you know what? I’ll beat the shit out of you if you hurt this man. So don’t even think about it, asshole.

imagine CEO namjoon.

Originally posted by cuteguk

  • what’s there to say? we already know he’s a great leader.
  • heir to the country’s largest publishing/printing firm.
  • also the greenest publishing/printing company in the country, like top five in the world, all thanks to namjoon’s initiatives.
  • he takes the whole inheriting business thing very seriously, determined to deserve the company and to be the best boss ever.
  • graduates early from a prestiged business school abroad and shares the responsibilities at the company to give his ageing father a break.
  • he’s so !!!! invested !!! in the health and happiness of his employees !!!!
  • wins All The Awards, for his green initiatives, planting trees, and making jobs, and protecting the environment ect, but also for having the happiest employees in the country.
  • he’s always arranging conferences and seminars for his employees to educate and encourage health/happiness/safety/equal opportunity/respect/ect in the workplace.
  • he works so hard to make sure everyone even down to the lowest branches are insured and that there are daycares and mom’s get the paid leave they need and deserve and that everyone gets and equal and fair wage.
  • bless him.
  • unfortunately all this work on top of his official workload means he doesn’t have much time to look after himself.
  • but in his mind he’s suffering is worth the safety and health of so many others he doesn’t even mind tho he’s kinda sad.
  • so, you work in the HR department.
  • and the head of the department fucks off on maternity leave and by some miracle ???? you get a hasty promotion.
  • no, you’re not really the head of HR but your function is pretty much the same and you don’t mind because the pay is goOD.
  • part of your responsibilities as head is to keep namjoon briefed on the general mood and concern of the people in his branch, i.e the large building full of people he feels directly responsible for.
  • he even has a whole suggestion box system, so once a week you just have to go through the notes people leave you and present a list to namjoon with a few possible solutions etc.
  • piece of cake.
  • except he’s hot as all hell.
  • i mean, it’s not a problem, far from it, he’s just very distracting.
  • but your meetings with him are the highlight of your work week so you do a really good job or at least you try, and also wear something nice.
  • and you think he’s just kinda clumsy and awkward.
  • but actually he finds you really distracting as well.
  • and your meetings are A Mess for the first month or so, until you get into the swing of things and get your shit together.
  • and the complaints he gets are never a big deal because everyone is happy and has nothing to complain about like ???
  • his secretary complaining that him playing smooth jazz all day in his office is getting kinda annoying and please would he play some classical or maybe bossa nova for a change.
  • or that his wacky ties and other questionable fashion choices are giving them a headache.
  • or jeon jungkook complaining about someone’s coffee breath again.
  • an anonymous submission says jimin is apparently??? too??? cute???
  • jung hoseok won’t stop moonwalking to the photocopier while humming thriller and it’s not even october and michael jackson doesn’t even moonwalk to thriller ugh ???????
  • yoongi keeps falling asleep at his desk and forgetting to go home at the end of the day.
  • harmless stuff like that. 
  • (namjoon stays late so he starts driving yoongi home because that’s just the kind of Great boss he is.)
  • and most of the time you two spend these meeting gossiping about drama between the departments and rolling on the floor laughing.
  • and you’re so in awe that someone can be so wonderful and selfless, making use of his privilege to protect people less fortune than him.
  • and your meeting are usually after lunch, so you come back from lunch to find him buried in paperwork and you begin to wonder, who takes care of him?
  • you ask if he had lunch and he’s like lol of course not have you met me
  • and you suggest postponing the meeting because there’s nothing urgent going on and you can take care of “kim taehyung keeps sneaking his dog into the office” on your own.
  • but he’s like “nO!!! please, our meetings are the only break i get, they keep me sane, they’re kinda the highlight of my week.”
  • and you sputter like ????? “im,,,what??? me ?? too?”
  • from that day on he starts taking you out for lunch every week and that way your meetings get twice as long.
  • and eventually you have to ask him, since nothing is going on in the office, “what about you, namjoon? how are you doing?”
  • and he thinks for a moment and he’s like “you know what, i feel kinda shitty actually.”
  • so you let him vent all his sadness and weird existential thoughts and angst for a few weeks and eventually suggest maybe he takes responsibility for his own health and happiness and maybe a good step would be to see a therapist?
  • and he does because he values your opinion and honestly it’s the only selfish thing he’s done in years and it makes him feel 1000001x better to have his concerns and ideas affirmed and listened to by a professional. therapy is cool, kids.
  • and one day shy joonie hands you a little poem he wrote you on a post-it, describing all the little detail he’s observed about him that makes his heart race and his head go all slow and foggy.
  • because he really,,,,,,,,,,,,, really likes you, and hopes this isn’t weird or anything if you don’t feel the same way that’s cool but he’s felt this way for a while and you’re the best thing that’s happened to him since this company and he just thought you deserved to know and he’s sorry.
  • and you have to like glue yourself to that dining chair so you don’t climb that dang table and throw yourself at him because namjoon is the most wonderful man on earth you treasure him and you want to keep him safe and happy because he deserves as much kindness as he’s prepared to give and he has nothing to be sorry for and you love him.
  • and he loves you too.
  • anyway, nsfw under the cut.

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Haven’t Had Enough

Pairing: Tom Holland X Reader

Words: 1994

Warnings: smut. NSFW gifs.

Anon asked “Can you do a Tom Holland x reader smut with gifs?? please!!!! Reader always had a crush on so did Tom the Tom sees reader naked then… Wink wink”

A/N: Here you go for all you thirsty Tom fans out there. Let me know if you want to be tagged HERE or HERE. Also, like, why is he so cute. Like look at that face! Ugh, your perfect features piss me off sir.

Originally posted by tomhollanddaily

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anonymous asked:

Ok, BUT HOW ABOUT the rfa (+ v & saeran of you want) who get turned into toddlers and mc has to take care of them. totally love your blog and whenever I see you on my dash my whole day gets brighter~

Definitely had to think about this one 
And instead of a “They woke up as children one day” I decided to just make it so like, MC runs a Daycare and they’re all kids there (because otherwise I’d feel inclined to make it more focused on MC freaking out because..well who wouldn’t? Loool) Also I may have blurred the lines of toddler and kid? Yoosung could be a toddler but the others are probably like…5? Idk children psychology rip.

Hope you enjoy~

MC Dealing with toddler RFA+V+Saeran

Yoosung

  • He goes from 0 to 100 real quick
  • One second he’s fine, playing with blocks, just chilling
  • Then he wants your phone
  • Lil dude wants to play angry birds
  • You do not give him the phone and he goes ape shit 
  • Screaming at the top of his lungs
  • You try to pick him up and calm him down but he just starts flailing his arms so you leave him on the ground
  • He screams until he’s so breathless he’s on the verge of passing out
  • Jesus christ kid
  • He seems to forget what he was crying about, looks at you with big ole eyes, and smiles.
  • He’s back to being a little ball of sunshine
  • You just kinda… “ok”
  • And watch him play for the rest of the day,

Jaehee

  • She is so well behaved
  • She is your number one helper, always helping clean up messes.
  • She colors inside the lines. Always. And gets visibly frustrated when others do not. Especially Seven.
  • She likes playing pretend. You have a fake little kitchen in the play area and she’s constantly acting as a chef or waitress. Or even Barista what are the odds ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 
  • Sometimes she refuses to nap and gets a little grouchy, but it’s never unmanageable. 
  • She doesn’t let the boys boss her around 
  • Though she obviously has a soft spot for Zen because she always plays with him
  • They’re lowkey best friends

Zen

  • What a little charmer
  • He’s so calm 
  • Though he is a little weird
  • He always brings his toys in front of a mirror and plays with them there
  • But hey we all have our quirks
  • He also looooves for music to be playing, constantly reaching towards the radio to get your attention
  • You always smile and pop in some music
  • Sometimes he can get a little attached to you, wanting to next to you during story time only to get really mad when Jumin is already there.
  • The two of them can not play together. You don’t know why. They just…do not mesh. 
  • The girls in the class always play with his hair, as good as toddlers can anyways. Usually they just stick a bunch of playground weeds in it for a makeshift flower crown

Jumin

  • You were really worried about him at first
  • He refused to play with any of the other children
  • He’d just clam up around them and watch
  • One day you sat down next to him as he was watching the kids, a bunch of blocks in your hand. 
  • You started stacking them on top of each other, and eventually you just handed him a few.
  • He joined in on the stacking.
  • After that he was stuck to your side like glue. 
  • Other kids would try to play with him and he’d just run over to you and hide behind your legs
  • You would try to get him to play with others, but at most he would sit at a table with V and color.
  • He also colors inside the lines. 
  • ‘It’s a start’ you think as you smile at the two of them.

Seven

  • This kid
  • It’s because of him you’re always on your toes. 
  • It’s nap time? His sleeping mat is empty
  • ‘Where are you goddammit?’
  • Cue the hunt
  • It’s not much of a hunt. He’s always in the snack room, trying to get chips.
  • When you catch him and put him in time out he just stares at you with big ole ‘I’m sorry’ eyes and a little smile
  • You always just sigh and hide your smile
  • When he isn’t being a sneak he’s creating really cool things
  • Given it’s a pain when you find toys tied together with shoe laces or sticky with contraband Elmers glue
  • You have to admire his creativity
  • And he has a sweet side, not that you’d ever see it.
  • Sometimes, out of the corner of your eye, you catch him trying to show his brother things
  • Trying to encourage him to play
  • Giving him the toys he’s collected
  • He’s a sweet kid
  • Until he tries waking Yoosung up at naptime then he’s your nightmare

Saeran

  • He doesn’t go out of his way to play with others
  • Usually he just waits for someone to approach him and whatevers hes doing, and he’ll let them join in.
  • He’s pretty meek despite his mean stare.
  • Other kids will take his stuff and he won’t say anything, just brood until you or Saeyoung find out whats wrong. 
  • He’s a picky eater, usually just rolling grapes around his plate or poking stuff with his spoon
  • At first he would never nap, just lay there and stare at things
  • Until you started rubbing his back and singing soft lullabies. Now he naps. 
  • He unsettles some of the other teachers, just because sometimes he’ll spend his time just staring at them, but you assure them it’s nothing.
  • He likes reading a lot.
  • Or looking at the pictures in the books at least.

V/Jihyun Kim

  • He’s very well behaved
  • Like, weirdly behaved.
  • Usually he plays with Jumin, but when Juju decides he wants to be alone, Jihyun has no problem playing with the other kids
  • He just jumps into whatever game they’re playing and they all get along great
  • If Jaehee hadn’t been your number one helper, it’d be Jihyun.
  • He helps set up snack time and the mats for nap time
  • He’s also one of the chattiest kids, always asking questions about things and giving his thoughts
  • He’s really insightful for a young kid
  • One thing you worry about:
  • He can be so giving, you’re worried someone will take advantage of that
  • One time he was playing with one of his favorite toys, and a kid asked for it. You could see it on Jihyun’s face that he didn’t want to give the toy up but… he did. 
  • Maybe you were overthinking it
second time’s a charm | jjk

summary: what’s the difference between the handsome stranger you slept with last night and the successful doctor that’s your new boss? 99% of people will get this wrong.
{doctor!au}
pairing: jungkook x reader
word count: 2k
genre: fluff
warnings: alcohol mention + implied smut
a/n: guess who’s back and better than ever? not me. i’m sick with a cold. but here’s a little something to get me back on my writing! requested by anon!

Jeon Jungkook is very good at his job.

At least, that’s what you can gather, from all the times you’ve seen his name in the Top Doctor lists from very respectable websites, to the plaques that line the walls of the hospital you work at, to the piles of the medical magazines that all have his name plastered on the cover at the front desk. Your hospital boasts about him, because not all hospitals get to brag about having the best doctor in South Korea in their offices, do they?

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Super Star (Part 1)

Originally posted by supernaturalwolfmaze

Request: Can I please request one where Jensen is a huge movie star? He’s out one night by himself and starts to get mobbed by fans/paparazzi. So he runs and hides in a shop that belongs to the reader. She doesn’t see it happen so she closes up the store with him inside. Then Jensen pops out from his hiding place and freaks her out lol. Maybe she doesn’t recognize him?

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Word Count: 1,800ish

Warnings: language

A/N: So this went different than I planned. Whoops…

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Dreams

Summary: When Meg possesses Sam, she lets a couple of his secrets out.

Warnings: Wincest, dirty talk (I guess?)

Word Count: 1800

A/N: I love me some desperate first time Wincest. Enjoy! XOXO

Sam’s still in the bathroom.

It’s become Sam’s habit to stay in the bathroom until he thinks Dean’s fallen asleep. Or to stay out, needing to grab some food or something. Or to just not say anything at all, just disappear from the room and come sneaking in once the lights are off.

Anything to keep from talking about it.

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A Study in Hypocrisy #2.6

Or why the Avengers’ relationship to Tony was unhealthy at best, Steve isn’t fit to be a leader, and why I’m Team Iron Man to the end.


WHY TONY’S RELATIONSHIP WITH THE AVENGERS IS UNHEALTHY AT BEST

Tony’s relationship with the Avengers has always made me uncomfortable. For the longest time, I couldn’t put my finger on why exactly, but I’ll try to organize my thoughts in this series.  

This post was getting far too long, so I decided to cut it into parts, one per Avenger.


WANDA

Let’s talk about Wanda. 

Wanda, who chooses to join a known terrorist organization to get revenge over Tony in the stupidest plot ever, because, come on. If your parents are killed in a car accident, you’re not going to go kill the car manufacturer in revenge. It’s absurd. It’s insane. It makes no sense whatsoever

But she makes that choice. God only knows how many people she killed during her and Pietro’s time with HYDRA, but she obviously doesn’t give a damn. In fact, her revenge against Tony doesn’t seem to include actually causing him physical harm, but rather…killing as many innocent people over the world as she can? Otherwise, she could have, you know. Killed him at the beginning of Age of Ultron. Instead, she triggered the creation of Ultron, mentally raped and tortured people who’d already been through a shit-ton of trauma, and let loose a creature known to be uncontrollable and highly destructive on hapless civilians. 

And she does. not. care. 

Then, she realizes all of a sudden that, wait! Ultron wants to destroy the world I happen to be a part of. Does that mean I’ll die, too? It must! Nope, that won’t do. Let’s switch sides. 

Then Clint goes and makes her an Avenger, without any consideration for Natasha, his friend and teammate, who had to relive her blood-drenched past, or Bruce, his teammate and friend, whom Wanda forced to massacre innocent civilians, or Tony, his teammate and supposed friend, who went through a hellish vision. Clint, who has experienced mind-control and its consequences before, just welcomes a proven disloyal, murderous witch into the team all on his own. As if all was forgiven and the lives she’d taken didn’t matter. As if the harm she caused wasn’t a problem and should be forgotten just because she suddenly saw the light and really is “just a kid.” 

But she didn’t. 

First, she doesn’t give a crap about the lives lost. She doesn’t give a crap about who lives or dies, and about what she did/caused.  

Second, she’s not a freaking kid. She’s a grown-ass woman of 26, only a few years younger than Steve, and if she’s old enough to drink, fuck and kill, then she’s damn well old enough to take responsibility for the blood she shed. Willingly.

Third, how come Tony has to take responsibility, get reamed out by everyone and still not be forgiven, and atone over and over again for his mistakes (which afterward get used against him on a regular basis by his supposed team), even though he actually tries to get better and fix things, when Wanda, who doesn’t give a shit, gets a free pass? The double-standards when it comes to that are mind-blowing. 

The same thing actually happens after Lagos. Wanda fucks up. And yeah, she was trying to help this time, I won’t deny it. But she did, and people died. And instead of benching her for more training (because while I believe that “lack of control” excuse if absolute bullshit after the mastery of her powers she displayed in Age of Ultron), which should have been Steve’s reaction as “team leader,” Steve gently sits her down and explains that she should forget about those people because “you can’t save everybody.” That the leader of the world’s leading defending force shows such disregard about human life is kinda daunting, don’t you think? 

I can guarantee that, had Tony made such a costly mistake, he’d have been benched faster than you can say “hypocrite.” 

Alright then. 

On to that wonderfully childish “he locked me into my room” affair. 

Tony tries to protect Wanda by keeping her in. Granted, he could have explained it better. Except here’s the deal: Tony has a lot on his plate. On top of this Accords mess, he’s still got a company to his name, which means the livelihoods of thousands of people all over the world to worry about, the Avengers’ gear, PR, and battles to deal with, his Iron Man duties, etc. etc. No doubt both the Lagos incident and Steve’s mess in Bulgaria are running him ragged trying to do damage control not only with Ross, but also with, probably, the press and maybe even the UN. Furthermore, he’s already been physically hurt. 

He simply doesn’t have the time to sit down with Wanda, take her hand, and then explain everything that’s going down, especially given that she’s hostile towards him to begin with, and would probably not listen anyway. 

Vision did try to explain. And she was fine with staying where she was until Clint popped up with his carefully not considered consequences. 

Then you’ll never make me believe that dropping 20+ cars on top of a man—a man in armor, sure, but that doesn’t make it any better, the average weight of a car being 1.5 ton—the way she did wasn’t done with the intention to cause severe physical harm, if not outright death. To me, she saw the opportunity to hurt the man she considered responsible for everything wrong in this world, and took it with relish. 

So here’s the thing. 

Wanda can judge and hate Tony all she wants. But that doesn’t change the fact that were it not for him, she wouldn’t be in America. She wouldn’t have anything to eat, or to wear, or anywhere to sleep. She wouldn’t have a visa (which must have been freaking hard to obtain given that she was a criminal), or shiny toys, or a room bigger than the average family home to be locked in in the first place. 

And it doesn’t change the fact that she has no right to that judgement and hatred while she conveniently refuses to acknowledge that, unlike Tony, who had no idea what was going on, she willingly caused harm to innocent people. 


Masterpost

Part 2.1: Natasha | Part 2.2: Steve | Part 2.3: Thor | Part 2.4: Bruce | Part 2.5: Clint

Upstairs (m)

credit

Pairing: Hoseok x reader

Genre: smut, fluff (?), dancer!college!Hoseok

Word count: 5.7k (I love a good build up)

Warnings: contains sex, sexual/explicit language

Summary: You finally get the courage to yell at the noisy neighbor upstairs and begin to realize that maybe you should’ve gone up sooner.

a/n: pls be kind first smutty thing I’ve written in A WHILE, idk if it’s any good I’ve literally re-read it like 15 times before posting. Enjoy! Hopefully more of my writing is on the way!!!


“Are you fucking kidding me!” You yelled in exasperation. The floorboards above you creaked and thumped as your neighbor pounded on their floor.

 It was currently 11:30 and you were trying so hard to get your presentation done for tomorrow’s class. You grabbed the broomstick that was becoming less for sweeping and more for hitting on your ceiling in shallow attempts at getting the ruckus to quiet down.  

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DUFF (CHAPTER 2)

Originally posted by jeonify

Chapter 2

pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: fluff, angst, smut 

╳ Summary: “Being the Duff has really changed you.”“Excuse me, the Duff?” I asked, my voice rising a little at the end.“You know, the Designated. Ugly. Fat. Friend.”


After what happened at the party, I was not looking forward to Monday at all. But I woke up this morning and guess what day it was…

 Monday.

 Mondays were always horrible, but I knew this was going to be the worst Monday of my fucking life. All that kept going through my head when I was getting ready to walk into the hell hole called school was that I was a Duff. As I was walking down the hallway, I noticed every group did have a Duff and I cursed myself for never noticing that I wasn’t one before.

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Companions reacting to a pregnant Sole going into labor in the middle of no where.

AN: Oh I’ve got a thing for romanced companions ones :D Thank you for the request! Because of this I now know what to do if a woman (or me for that matter) is about to gonna give birth in the middle of nowhere or in a car or sth. I’m learning some life skills here! ;) PS: the first ones got a bit long I tried to kinda restrain myself after those to avoid tldr but man this ask is technically fanfic/oneshot material.

Prologue:
Sole’s eyes widened. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” She figured she could make it back to Diamond city in time to give birth to this kid and settle down there for a while… take it easy. Clearly she had been mistaken. This baby was coming and nothing was going to stop it. She looked over at her companion, who was still oblivious to what was happening, and pointed at a very, very shabby looking hut-like thing in the distance. “Let’s check that out.”  She figured that was exactly how far she was still going to get. As soon as they closed the door behind them she hunched over, stumbled over to the remnants of a bed and grabbed on to the upper arm of her companion. She looked him straight in the eye. “ Looks like this baby isn’t waiting around for the due date. I’m having this baby. Now. “ 

Codsworth
“ Oh dear! Okay, it’s happening! Let’s… let’s get you comfortable, Mum!” Codsworth put on a brave face and tried his best to keep his cool but could not for the life of him hide his panic (or excitement, Sole wasn’t entirely sure) in the slightest. Sure, he wasn’t exactly programmed to help bringing children into the world but he was sure that they would manage, after all “it is a beautiful and natural part of life, mum”. His peptalk, including those exact words, served more to soothe himself than to soothe Sole,
“Codsworth I appreciate you wanting to make me feel better but let’s focus on this tiny human getting out safely rather than on peptalking me, please?”
“ Certainly! Oh, it will be such a beautiful child! I bet it’ll have your eyes,Mum.” 
“ Codsworth… I’m in a lot of pain.”
“ Err… right. What should I do?” 
“ Get out water, some clean cloth or clothing to wrap this kid in, anything helpful.” Another contraction hit her. “ Right. Now.”   Codsworth tried to hide that he felt at a loss considering he had no clue on how to proceed next. In between contractions, Sole just told him what to do next as he meticulously followed her every instruction. He hated that he couldn’t help her with the pain but it’d have to do. 

Danse:
Danse stayed remarkably calm and got out of his power armor. Sole kept his eyes on him. Sure, she hadn’t expected him to be the kind to go  frantic but he was far too calm… did he think she was kidding or something? “ I’m not joking.”
“ I am aware of that. There is no need for concern. Breathe in, breathe out and relax.I won’t let anything happen to you or this baby.”
 “Danse, I know for a fact that ‘how to be a midwife’ is not part of the Brotherhood’s training process.” 
Danse smiled, she didn’t think she’d ever seen him more in love with her than in that moment. “  Ensuring that you are prepared for the mission you will embark on is part of the training. I made sure I was well-informed  and therefore know precisely what to do. Our only concern is potential complications.” Sole’s stomach turned at the idea of that being a possibility and regretted not listening when he had urged her to just lay low and stop travelling around sooner.  He took some clean cloth, water, a stim pack, a pipet… out of his backpack and took his top off. Sole’s tried to smile but the pain made it difficult.  “Danse… I appreciate the distraction but …”
“ We need to keep this child warm, body heat is ideal. I presumed you are in enough discomfort already however you can certainly opt to use your own body heat.” Sole grimaced. Yeah, she was in enough discomfort already indeed.
“ No thanks. “ He got a blanked out and put it over her after helping her out of her pants, presumeably to keep her warm. 
“  You might have to breastfeed the child as it will lessen the bleeding due to the hormones.” She smiled at Danse. “Thanks for having my back.” 
Danse gave her a reassuring smile and brushed some hair out of her face as gently as possible. “ Thank you for being the love of my life and giving me a family. Hang in there Sole, you’re going to be allright. Both of you. I will protect you, no matter what. Both you and our child. “

MacCready:
 MacCready seemed to be lost in thought. “ Don’t just stand there, now what do we do?”  He sat down beside her.
“ We don’t have time to get you to a doctor so we’re gonna have to make do with whatever we’ve got here. But hey, how hard can it be right?”
“ You have no idea.”
“ Right, sorry. Lucy made it very clear to me that it wasn’t easy when she had Duncan. The things she yelled at me, I thought I’d pull back a bloody stump considering how hard she squeezed my hand. I’ve only seen it and even I felt traumatised. I mean, damn what you women do is way more badass than anything that I…“
“ Yeah, real comforting there, MacCready.”
“ *ahum* Anyway I think I’ve got this.” He grabbed a somewhat clean shirt from his duffel bag and started ripping it up after putting his coat underneath Sole. The house may have come with a bed but clean sheets were something else entirely.“ You’ve still got some purified water, right?” He looked through her stuff and lifted the bottle. ‘Found it!’
“ I appreciate you trying to stay calm but I doubt having watched it once makes you any more of a midwife than me.” 
“ Someone once told me the second kid is easier though?”
Sole groaned and shot him a vicious look. “Sure as hell doesn’t feel like it.”
“ Okay, you’ve got this. I’ve got you. This baby is gonna be come out you’ll forget about all the bad stuff. Start with those puffy breathy things.”
“ Puffy breathy things?”
“ ‘C mon you know what I mean. ”  
MacCready focussed on her, showing to be much calmer than she was. However she noticed some tears welling up in his eyes. 
“ You’re gonna be fine. “ He grabbed her hand while she was still puffing. 
“ It’s always nice to see you this emotional, MacCready. “ She was expecting an excuse, from the dusty place to a full-blown twig in his eye. Perhaps onion-cutting ninja’s for the occasion.
“  I’m about to see my second child. This …  This is a big deal all right? You’ve done so much for me. You’ve given my son his life back, you’ve given me my life back and now you’re bringing another one into this world. And I get to raise them with you. Damnit Sole, I love you.”
“ No cursing.” She squeezed his hand at another contraction. 
“ Yeah you’re gonna have to let go cause I gotta get there now though.”

Deacon:

“ Ohkay… well I used to be a nurse once upon a time, all the doctor’s fancied me… probably because of the blonde wig and my long legs. “
“ Deacon, this is really not the time.”
“ I could be telling you the same thing.” She shot him the kind of look that made him count his lucky stars for her currently not being capable of fighting him because she would’ve handed him his ass. She hissed at him; “Look I know humor is your way of dealing with stressful situations and usually I am all for it. But not. Now.”
Deacon couldn’t supress a wide grin. “Well I helped get it in there I suppose I can help gettin’ it out.”
“ I swear if you’re gonna keep blurting out ‘funny’ shit you’re gonna make me a single mother.” Deacon was still smiling.
“ That would be a crying shame, especially because you would be dealing with the crying. Actually, maybe that’s preferable, then I get some peace and quiet.’
“ Really, Deacon? That’s your reaction? Don’t you think it’s a bit early for bad dad jokes?” 
“ No. Panic. I would say panic is my reaction. This is the scariest thing I’ve ever had to deal with. Feel better knowing that? What do you suggest we do?” 
“ Get some things ready and please, please don’t do the fake being hurt thing when I yell insults at you because my sense of self-control is at an all-time low.”
“ Gotcha, By the way, you’re doing great, keep up the pushing.” 
Sole groaned. “Less peptalk more getting your kid out because just like their dad it loves to get me stressed out.” 
“ Aww, they take after me already.”
“ Deacon, shut the hell up and get my pants off.” He opened his mouth again when Sole yelled ‘NO innuendoes.”

Gage:
Gage’s eyes widened… “ Come again? This is some sort of bad joke right? Here?” 
Sole shook their head. “ Not the kind of thing I joke about.” Sole doubled over, hand on her belly, at another contraction. “Some help’d be nice”
He sighed and picked her up. “ Well shit boss, I’m not prepared for this.”
“ Should’ve thought about that before you got me knocked up Gage.”
He smiled a little.“ That’s what you get for always taking what you want I guess.” 
“ Oh please, if you had taken anything without my say-so you wouldn’t be breathin’ anymore. For now you’re gonna have to take off that armour and make sure you get this kid out safely.” Gage sighed. “I didn’t sign up for the getting it out part.” 
“ And I didn’t sign up for defeating your Overseer with a squirt gun, shit happens. We need to get this child out safely.”
The look on Gage’s face shifted as he got out some clean water. Shit, what else did he need for this. Sole noticed.
“ Wait… is that concern Gage?”
“ I… No.”
“ It actually easy, that I’d live the day to see this.”
“ This is my kid too ya know. I don’t want it to have the kind of fucked up life I’ve had, but it’d be a good start if it comes out kicking and screaming. But cause someone refused to stay put I’ve gotta help you get my kid out.”
“  Say whatever you want, I’ve found a soft spot in that cold cold heart anyway.“ Sole winked before another contraction plastered a look of pain on her face again.
“ I’ll guide ya through it Gage. But I can’t hold your hand through this cause  you’re gonna need them. So get something to put this baby on.” She decided that the last thing she had to do now is get insecure, wouldn’t help either of ‘em.
“Damn boss, you’re somethin’ else. Fuck it, let’s do this.”

Hancock:

“ Looks like this kid takes after their dad, life’s to the fast and the rebellious. “
“ Yeah, high five it when it gets out but help me first.” Hancock looked rather happy until he noticed just how much pain Sole was in.
“ You alright?” Sole looked at them. If looks could kill…
“ And people say there are no stupid questions.” She folded double, grabbing at her abdomen. “ This hurts like hell.” He guided her to the bed and let her lay down on it. 
“ I’d give ya some chems but that’d be bad for the baby.”
“ No kidding, I’m not having any of that filth now regardless Hancock.”
“ Guess we can’t make it to Diamond City anymore? I was looking forward to finding out whether they’d really let me in with you by my side, me being the father and all that.”
“ Hancock, focus. No small talk. I could use some help getting my pants off.” 
“ Ah, just what you said when we conceived the little one. Good times.” Hancock winked. Sole would laugh if the contractions weren’t hurting quite as much as they were. “
“ Alright… let’s fuck this shit up.” Sole slit her eyes. “Let’s fuck this shit up? Seriously? Look I know you’re a man and all but I speak from experience when I say this is not that easy.”
“ You’ve been dating a me for a while now darling, in comparison this is gonna be a freakin’ breeze. You’re a fucking superhero and I love you. Now, lay back, push and let’s hope this baby gets their looks from mommy.” 

Originally posted by daisyjm75

Maxson:
Maxson didn’t waste any time and picked her up. He put her down on the bed gently and seemed extremely calm. 
“ Maxson, are you even processing what I just said?” 
“ I know precisely what I am doing and  yes I have. We have this under control.”
Sole groaned in pain. “ Speak for yourself … the pain is getting worse.”
Maxson got out a wide array of things he needed to deliver the baby .
“ You do what I tell you what I tell you and there ought to be no issues.”
Sole scoffed. “Sure, cause you know all about babies. Maxson, with all do respect, this is not exactly the same as commanding an army.”  
 Sole clenched her teeth and dug her nails into what was left of the matress on the bed before screaming out. Maxson rushed over and for a moment his facade cracked, he was worried about her, brushing some hair out of her face.
 “ Are you alright?” 
Sole grimaced. “ Hardly. What happened to having everything under control?” 
“ Our child will be safe, it’s you I am concerned about.”
“ What makes you so sure Maxson?” 
“ I asked Cade what I would need to help you deliver this child if he wasn’t nearby. I have prepared for this potentially happening and have all the required equipment at the ready.” Sole screamed again, he grabbed her hand. 
“ I swear I will protect you and this child. I will send a message to the Brotherhood after this and they will come pick us up in a ventibird. And then you will rest.” Sole grinned. “Never listened before.”
“ I’ll lock you up if I have to, I care more about your safety than about some missions.”
“ You mean you love me more than the Brotherhood? That’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever said to me.” She screamed again and grabbed his hand, he didn’t even flinch as she squeezed as hard as she could.
“ I love you and this child more than anything. Now focus on doing this. You are my goddamn Sentinel for a damn good reason, you can do anything. That includes this. Just… whatever you do stay with me.” 


Kent:
 “I really don’t think this is the time. I mean…”
Sole grimaced. “ I don’t think this kid cares about whether it’s the time for it.”
Kent supported Sole and put her on the bed.  “ Are you sure we can’t make it to Diamond City?”
“ On the list of things not even the Silver Shroud can do: delaying childbirth.”  Kent looked around nervously. “Okay… okay. What should I do.”
“ Stop looking so panicked for starters? Just do as I say and this will be fine.”

Preston:
“ We’re having this baby now? Really?” Preston could hardly hide the happiness and excitement on his face when it dawned on him that the circumstances were hardly ideal for someone to give birth. He looked around. They were in a small shack in the middle of nowhere… panic crept up on him. He looked at Sole who seemed very busy with putting on a brave face but he knew when someone was scared. He picked her up, knowing he had to be the strong one. She had enough on her mind now. “ I got you. This baby is going to be fine.” He gently put her down on the bed in the hut. 
“ I was hoping for better circumstances but at least it isn’t raining, right?”  He held her hand. 
“ This is not the first time I’ve helped someone getting a baby out in the world by the way.” Sole laughed a little, very faintly because of the pain. 
“ You mean you’ve got a bunch of kids running around?”  He laughed and brushed some hair out of her face and helped her take off her pants and get a little more comfortable. “ No, but we do a lot in the Commonwealth. There was once a pregnant lady among the people we saved. The stress made her go into labour sooner than expected. But the baby pulled through.” Knowing that he had done this kind of thing before soothed her  a little.
“ I’m going to look for things we can use. Some clean cloth, water,… You’re going to have to take your top off too I’m afraid. Saved the mother. The child’s grandmother was with us and she told us it could stop the bleeding faster. I’ll get you a blanked though.” Sole nodded. 
“ You’re going to be okay. I promise.”


Nick:
Nick immediately focused on getting Sole calm and comfortable on the cot in the hut. “ Listen to me, kid. You can do this. We’re going to get this baby out safely do you hear me?” Sole nodded, still biting down on her lower teeth.
“ I guess it’s gonna have to come out somehow.” She smiled a little but still looked panicked. What if something went wrong? They first thought there were complications with Shaun’s birth as well but it quickly turned out to be a false alarm, she might not be as lucky this time.
“ The first thing you need to do is slow your breathing, relax.”
“ Easy for you to say.” The pain of the contractions wasn’t getting much better. He took off his coat and put it underneath Sole.
“ That’s gonna be messed up if this kid when the baby comes out Nick. Blood doesn’t wash out easily.”
“ Do you honestly think I give a damn? This is our child. I’m going to try to get you comfortable.” He did as much as he could to make Sole lay down in a comfortable position.
“ It’s not my comfort I’m worried about.” Nick sat down next to her and grabbed her by the back of her neck until his forehead touched hers. “ First of all; I love you. Second; when I say push you’ll have to push. I will support the baby’s head and make sure they’re breathing, okay?” Sole nodded. Nick planted a kiss on her lips. “ Everything is going to be alright. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, I will not lose you or this baby”

Sturges;
Sturges’ eyes widened. “Oh… okay, no need to panic we can do this.” Sole grimaced. “ I’m not so sure about that.” 
“ Hey this is nature, you’ll be fine. I’m right here, I won’t let anything happen to you or to our baby.” He smiled at her in such a proud way that her heart melted a little. 
“ This is not exactly how I wanted things to go down sturges.”
“ Hey, look at me alright? You’ve got this. You’re a badass, I’ve seen you save so many people and survive against all odds, even if you can’t properly install a tap. This baby is going to conquer the world with a mom like you. Everything’s gonna be okay. I’m gonna get something to wrap the baby into, okay? Lay down and try that breathing thing.” He walked to his backpack but immediately walked back over to her and brushed some hair out of her face. “ I forgot to say one more thing… I love you.”


X6-88:
“ The nearest point we can transport to the Institute is 5 minutes away. I suggest we start moving.”
“ I’m not gonna make it there.”
“ You are.” He lifted Sole up and carried her to the place they were supposed to be. X6 seemed to be convinced he had it all under control although he looked more stressed than Sole had ever seen him. He barely managed to get Sole to a point where she could be transported to the Institute and once there started yelling orders at each and every doctor. As they frowned at him for presuming he, as a synth, had the audacity to doing so Sole yelled that he was officially her second and would be obeyed. Especially in these circumstances.
He continued his orders and Sole noticed a hint of a smile. Someone stood beside her and urged her to calm her breathing to delay the birth a little. X6 soon sat beside her, holding her hand.
“ I’d hardly considered you the sentimental type.” 
“ I am aware of the fact that squeezing someone’s hand aids them in getting the focus off the pain to some extent.” With her next contraction she squeezed again, hard. Part of her didn’t give a damn but she looked at X6 regardless, trying to figure out if she hadn’t hurt him.
“ I can take it. Do whatever you need to do.”

Originally posted by lightwood-shadowworld

Stereotypical (2)

Bucky Barnes x reader AU (short series)

Notes: swearing, flirting, mentions of child abuse and alcoholism (past), none other yet.

Summary: As a PA/secretary, you are all too familiar with the fantasies nearly all men share: banging their hot assistant. Former jobs haven’t worked out for you for that exact reason, and now starting out at a new company, as the secretary for the CEO of the hottest modelling agency in the country, you’re hoping this one will be different. But after meeting your new boss, Mr J.B. Barnes, you’re not so sure if it will be. Then again, maybe Mr Barnes is not as stereotypical as you think he is.  

A/N: Part two! It’s gonna be a sloooooow burn. (sorry, not sorry) Mention of Naomi Campbell; just saying: I don’t mean anything by it. I love her. Ok? Ok. 

“You enjoying yourself?”

James leaned over your shoulder just as you told another model to take his shirt off (one of the perks of your job)

You snickered, “Always. I love my job”

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|| Girls Chase Boys ||

{summary: a love story based on mixed signals and a dash of miscommunication.}

i reached 700+ followers! this is such an amazing milestone for me and honestly, i’m so fucking happy! as a thank you gift, here’s a full story based on my ‘imagine peter parker falling in love with you…“ prompt ;)

permanent tags: @psychicwitchphilosopher , @pharaohkiller , @moonlight53

peter parker only tags: @wavy-ley , @buckysendoftheline , @1022bridgetp , @potterjamesharry

warnings: none but extreme fluff

**don’t plagiarize/repost this story. reblogs are fine!**

——

{all the broken hearts in the world still beat/ lets not make it harder than it has to be/ ooooooh, it’s all the same thing/ girls chase boys chase girls}

“Doesn’t it ever annoy you?” You hear your best friend, Melody, ask while you were doing your homework in the library. Only half listening to her since you were so engrossed in typing out your essay for English Lit, you were in the midst of editing a few paragraphs when you respond with a half-hearted, “Does what annoy me?”

“The fact that that Parker kid keeps staring at you.” Recognizing the surname as belonging to this cute boy named Peter who happened to be a good friend of yours while sharing nearly all of your classes, you frown at Melody’s words and look over to your right where she was sitting, “What? Peter never stares at me. What makes you think that he’s staring at me all the time?”

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some more gorillaz headcanons
  • murdoc is actually pretty decent at voguing and can pull off a flawless death drop. he does it whenever he’s not getting his way and wants to be petulant about it. there have been a lot of arguments in which murdoc is about to lose but instead drops to the ground suddenly and slides away on his back, whining “you can’t maaaaake meeeee.” he’s been doing it less as he gets older but he’s still not allowed to come on supermarket trips anymore. last time russ wouldn’t let him get the sugary cereal he wanted and he death dropped in the middle of the aisle and caused a scene and a cleanup on aisle 4. 
  • everyone steals everyone else’s nail polish, even though as a whole the band has over 400 different bottles. this sometimes leads to really passive-aggressive messages in the group chat. when noodle was little, she insisted on painting everyone’s nails for them; this doesn’t happen as much anymore, but since there’s always a bottle of nail polish somewhere in reach, long conversations between people tend to be held over a communal nail painting session. 2d still can’t paint the nails on his left hand; murdoc usually paints them for him. 

more under the cut!

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LOL cute and fun! Oh, as I said before, now I’m including V when people request for RFA, since he is a RFA member and has his own route now ^^

RFA meeting MC’s big dog with silly/cute name


Zen

  • How could you be any greater? Man loves dogs!
  •  He’s so excited o meet Sweet P, he bets they are as cute as their owner.
  • “Come here, Sweet P, Zenny wants to meet you!” that’s right, Sweet P… come he… HOLY SHIT!
  • Sweet P runs from the living room and jumps in Zen.
  • This dog is so strong they took Zen down! HE IS A MONSTER!
  • “Ah, Sweet P, don’t do that! You can’t hurt your future daddy!” okay, if this wasn’t adorable enough… the dog looks at you as they understand your scolding, then at him, with a sad face and low ears.
  • Well, his bet was right. The dog is as cute as their owner.

Yoosung

  •  Okay, his first reaction is try to impress you on his knowledge about dogs he got from studying really hard
  • He’s all excited to meet Ms. Sprinkles and give her a checkup exam, even if she doesn’t need one.
  •  “Bring her here, MC, and don’t worry! I know how to calm her down if she gets scared!”
  • Okay… does he know to calm down himself now? Yoosung swears there isn’t one single book he had been studying that had anything about a dog that big.
  • “What’s wrong, Yoosung? Is she sick?” Oh… he looks so tense you’re probably thinking he has bad news for you.
  • “W-what? No, MC! Of course not! Ms. Sprinkles is perfectly healthy and strong for her age and… size.” He supposes.
  • He pats her head, trying to act all professional. And to his surprise, Ms. Sprinkles reacts by licking his hand, you smile cheerfully.
  • Ohh… he’s forgetting this is not one of his patients, it’s his future pet too. So he smiles as brightly as you do.

Jaehee

  • You warned her that Noodle was a little bit of a handful.
  • She shrugs. After dealing with Elizabeth the 3rd for so long, every animal feels like an angel…
  • Oh, Elizabeh could be hard to deal, but she isn’t clumsy, and… doesn’t drool like this or knocks down everything when she runs to greet her owner at the door.
  • God, Noodles, calm down! She just went to the grocery store, why does he have to jump over her everytime she comes in to your place?
  • So she kinda grew used to dealing with Noodle, it’s your pet after all.
  • But when you asked her to take care of Noodle for a few days while you’d be out of town… she panicked.
  • So she was very uncomfortable, just doing the basics as feeding them and taking them for a walk, until it was night and Noodle climbed up on the couch, beside her, and finally slept.
  • Ohh… she probably smells likes you, that’s why they feel so comfortable. Well, they kinda remind you too, and since them both miss you so much… it wouldn’t do any harm sleeping in the couch like this, right?

 

Jumin

  • Not a dog person
  • NOT A BIG DOGS PERSON EITHER
  • He wouldn’t show, but he’s super scared seeing Cinnamon Bun jumping and barking at him
  • And what’s with this name? The dog should have a more appropriate name for their… figure, like Ruffus, Thor, Thunder… Armaggedon.
  •  When he’s at your place, it’s easier to deal with the dog and Jumin even likes patting their head and throwing the ball for him to catch while he read the newspaper.
  • The problem is to bring them to his penthouse. Elizabeth never saw a dog, let alone one this big and quite scary
  • He doesn’t want her to get stressed out, but he wants your pet, as well as you, to stay comfortable in your soom-to-be home. So he keeps them separated.
  • But at some point in the night, Elizabeth managed to escape her room. And as you and him found her curled up on top of the dog, both of them sleeping peacefully… he realizes there’s nothing to worry about and home never felt so great.

Saeyoung

  • He saw your pics with the dog in the background check
  • And he was S H O O K when you told the name of the dog was Dr. Pepper
  • Oh… you are a match made in heaven, blessed by Dr. Pepper (the soda and the dog, yes)
  • But he can’t ignore how huge this dog is.
  •  “Oh wow, MC! Looks like you got the jumbo bottle of Dr. Pepper.” You roll your eyes and just make a sign to Dr. Pepper to jump on him.
  • And he’s all like “Ahhh! Have mercy! Is this a dog or a bull, MC? Save me!” but truth is he’s loving all of this
  • He likes how not even Saeran can’t ignore their presence and feels forced to pat their head, smiling discreetly when they lick his hand in response.
  • But hey! Boy is still a cat person! So what about adopting a cat and naming them after Honey Buddha Chips?


V

  • He tried his best not to laugh when you told him the name of the dog is “Titties”.
  • But as soon as he feels paws against his chest, bringing him down… well… who’s laughing now? Nope, still him, Titties hahahah
  • He feels like a stupid teenager, but he can’t help himself. And the fact you don’t seem to mind how people give you a malicious look only makes the situation cuter.
  • And it’s funny, but Titties can be really scary sometimes, especially when they growl, sensing something dangerous to you or to him.
  •  So eventually he overcomes laughing at the name and grows fond of the dog
  • Due to his compromised sight, he can’t be as active as the dog likes, but taking them to a walk and helping you give them a bath are things he really enjoys to do.
  • There’s water everywhere but on the dog.
  • “Ugh, Titties made such a mess!” you’re looking at him, and you can’t hold your laugh seeing him unable to hold his.
I love you so much I've forgotten what hating myself feels like. [c.m x reader]

Warnings: anGST, anxious reader, worried tree bros, swearing bc connor duh lol

Requested? Yes! by anon

word count: i thiunk like 2-3k

sorry this was a vent source, I might change it in the future to hopefully improve it!

xoxo cass

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Dark Nights (Part 5)

Originally posted by zest-wincest

Summary: Dean is recovering after going after the Alphas and gets a chance to have some calm time with the reader for once…

Dark Nights Masterlist

Pairing: Alpha!Dean x Omega!Reader

Word Count: 2,700ish

Warnings: language

A/N: A little bit of softer side with the boys…

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Notice Me [Chapter 11]

Originally posted by oompa-oppa

Final Chapter of Notice Me

Chapter 1  Chapter 2  Chapter 3  Chapter 4  Chapter 5  Chapter 6  Chapter7  Chapter 8  Chapter 9  Chapter 10

Series Genre: AU/Fluff/Smut/Slight Angst at times


Your eyes shot open as you saw Jackson hovered over the two of you, eyes wide and nostrils flared in anger.

“Shit!” you muttered, moving out of Mark’s grasp to sit up and look your brother in the eye.

“I knew something was going on with you two!” he shouted, pacing back and forth.

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It Will Always Just Be Me

Pairing: Dan x reader

Genre: romance, smut, angst, fluff (though it’s mostly angst)

Song: Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off by Panic! At the Disco [I’ll never get over how long this song title is]

TW: swearing (aka I lost count of how many times I used the word ‘fuck’)

Word count: 3,212

For @phanny-fics writing competition. This song has been a guilty pleasure of mine lately, and my mind screamed ‘FANFIC THIS.’ Cause you know, this is what happens when I turn to the emo trinity to keep my writing juices flowing. Also, on a random note, when I Googled the lyrics for this song, I literally just typed in ‘panic at the disco lying is’ because there was no way in hell I was gonna type in the entire song title in the search bar. 😅

When she shows up knocking at my door, I’m this close to slamming the door on her face. For an entire week, I didn’t receive a call, text, or any form of communication from her. Not only did she make me crave for her attention, but her ignorance made me feel pathetic. Here I am, pinning my heart for the girl of my dreams. Too bad I’m too stubborn to see that my dream girl is also my worst nightmare.

“What are you doing here?”

She glides into my flat, initially not answering my question. She’s wearing those pair of heels, the black “fuck me” heels that she purposefully teases me with. And her dress… damn it, she shouldn’t be wearing such alluring clothing in public.

“Why do you think I’m here?”

I lock the door. Thank god Phil is spending the entire day with PJ. I don’t need Phil to pity me again for having a weak resolve.

“Who is it this time?”

“What makes you think there’s a who?”

I laugh bitterly. Does she think I’m blind? “I know you, (Y/N). Who’s the poor sap this time?”

She pouts, dropping her purse on the floor. “His name doesn’t matter.”

“So there is a someone.”

“It’s none of your business.”

“It is if you’re just here to fuck me again,” I snap.

She tenses. Gotcha. She’s way too transparent.

“Stop talking.” She steps closer to me until the front of our bodies touch. “Don’t worry, I’ll tell you later. For now-” she snakes her arm around my neck, “Let’s have some fun.”

I have to resist. This isn’t worth it. I’m only going to be left with disappointment again.

“Look at me, Dan.” Her thumb brushes along the corner of my mouth. “I’m sorry, okay? I’ve been busy-”

“Bullshit. If you were busy, you were busy finding another fuck buddy.” I try to put some distance between our bodies, though she won’t let me. Her arms stay around my neck and now her breasts are squished against my chest.

“It’s not like that.” Her voice trembles and vulnerability replaces her apparent lust. “You know I want to be with you. But we can’t be together. My parents don’t like you. Your fans will bash us.”

Shit, I hate when she pulls that card. She isn’t wrong. Her parents aren’t entirely accepting of the idea of us as anything more than friends. The Phan shippers and zealous fangirls will definitely direct flames toward her. As much as I loathe her behavior, I know she’s doing this to protect my reputation. She’s scared of her feelings for me, so she’s quick to say yes to any man who shows any interest to her, even when all those men only want her for her body.

I’m not that kind of man. I want all of her and so much more.

“It always boils down to that reason, huh?”

She nods. Her dropped guard disappears and her (E/C) irises are back to their lustful state. “Let’s forget all that for now. Please?”

I can’t say no to her.

I cup her cheeks and mash our lips together. She groans, tangling her fingers in my hair. She steps backward until we both fall on the sofa. Our mouths disconnects, and her tantalizing smile makes me forget my resistance.

Our clothes are discarded, left as a messy heap on the floor.

Her heels stay on. If she wears “fuck me” heels, she’s going to get fucked while wearing them.

When we’re naked, I tell her to bend over the arm of the sofa.

“We’re doing this my way,” I whisper huskily in her ear.

She obeys, and I bite my lip at the sight of her wet and ready for me. She yelps when my palm spanks her ass.

“This is for fucking someone behind my back.” Another slap. “This is for making me go seven days without you.” Slap. “Seven.” Slap. “Goddamn.” Slap. “Days.” Slap. “And this is just because I wanted to.”

“Stop teasing me,” she whines.

“I’ll tease you as much as I want to.” When we’re alone like this, I’m in control. She can have me wrapped around her finger again when this is over.

“Fuck me,” she murmurs.

“Beg for it.”

Her breath hitches. She knows this was coming. I won’t give her what she wants that easily.

“Please fuck me.”

“Where would you like me to fuck you?” I graze over her slit with my index finger. “Here?” I move the same finger to her anus. “Or here?”

“W-Whatever you want.”

“Ah.” I move my finger back to her slit. “So here. How would you like me to fuck you?” I use my thumb to rub circles on her clit. “Like this?” My index finger buries into her and I slowly move it in and out. “Or like this?”

“T-that works.”

“Or…” My unoccupied hand guides my cock to her pussy so the tip brushes along her clit. “Would you like me to use this?”

“I don’t care!” she wails. “Just please… please fuck me already.”

There. That’s how I want her: reduced to a needy mess.

So I give her what he wants. She screams in relief when I finally push my cock into her. I pour my week-long frustrations into her. My body thrusts rapidly in and out of her, my hands gripping her hips roughly that I’m certain there’ll be bruises forming by tomorrow morning. In the back of my mind, my gentle side is begging me to slow down, to savor the moment and remember that our time is limited. For her, the concept of forever doesn’t exist for us.

But I don’t care. I’ll take what I can get, even if what I get are scarce leftovers.

Curse words fall from her mouth constantly. Her arms struggle to hold herself up, until it gives out and the upper half of her body slumps atop the couch arm. I’m glad these walls are somewhat soundproof; god forbid the complaints from our neighbors who might think I’m murdering someone in here.

“That’s it,” I croon. “Let it out, (Y/N).”

“Shit… I’m gonna come.”

“Good girl. Come for me. Show me who’s mine.”

She shouts my name, her orgasm causing mine to follow a few seconds later. I drown in the sounds of our pleasure. This was worth waiting an entire week for. This was worth the tension when she waltzed into my home and was capable of shattering the barriers I put up around me.

“Whoa,” she breaths once we finish riding our highs. “I totally missed that.”

“Same here, sweetie.”

“Mmmm…” I pull out of her, moving to lie on the couch. She takes a minute to remove her heels. I’m tempted to spank her again; if she’s showing her backside to me like this on purpose, the joke is on her. I’ve already gotten what I wanted. I can wait another ignorant week.

“His name’s Gordon.” She kicks off her heels and lays down on top of me. She rests her head on my chest. “I met him while I was at a bar with (B/F/N).”

“And you slept with him.”

“Nope.”

“But you will.”

“Maybe, if I like him enough.”

“Have you kissed him?”

She lifts her head to look at me. The slight glimmer in her eyes confirms my question.

“We only kissed. Don’t make a big deal out of it.”

“I’m not.” Yeah I am. I have to know how much of an asshole he is right of the bat.

“I’m going on a real date with him tomorrow.” She caresses my cheek. “We had a good conversation when we met. If our date goes well… Dan, I think he could be the one.”

“You’re saying that and you barely know him.”

She sighs. “Yeah…but I’m crossing my fingers. Heartbreak is a bitch.”

Of course it is. But she wouldn’t have to keep experiencing heartbreak if she just picked me.

This is what we are. We’re more star-crossed than Romeo and Juliet. Our teen-like hearts, beating fast in a secluded flat, close to touch but unable to beat in sync.

˜:˜

Gordon is a dick. I don’t know the guy, but I know he is. Every man that (Y/N) has been with is. They’ll use her, trick her into thinking she’s the only apple to their eyes. It’s a lie, because they only see her as the bruised apple and there’s another woman out there who’s the ripest apple of their tree.

Phil doesn’t seem to think so. He thinks Gordon is different. It’s the first time that Phil has ever said that about her boyfriends. It worries me, because if Phil is right, Gordon isn’t an asshole and he’s falling in love with her in the pure way that I’m doing. He’s stealing my girl. I won’t swallow that fact lightly.

I deserve her. I deserve the love that she gives to other men one hundred percent. I deserve her at her best and worst. Not Gordon. Not a man who’s going to be another ex.

A few days pass. Then a week. A month. Three months. She barely comes to the flat. We haven’t had sex since she dropped by the flat to first tell me about Gordon. Thankfully, there aren’t long durations without receiving texts and calls from her anymore. We’ve reached a point where I can call her anytime and she’ll be likely to answer it.

However, it doesn’t remove the ache in my chest at the thought of (Y/N) and Gordon as a couple. The longer they’re together, the less optimism I have of (Y/N) and I as endgame. Phil still tells me to keep my hopes alive, though I’m beginning to truly give up this time around. What’s the point of waiting for a girl that can’t reciprocate my feelings?

Why am I still choosing to be single?

˜:˜

I try not to think about (Y/N) at the next YouTube party. I have a blast hanging out with Phil and our YouTube friends. I drink more than I normally do. Louise teases that the beast in me is finally released.

Oh Louise, if only she knew that there was already someone else who has seen my beastly side before.

I’m flat-out drunk before midnight. Phil calls someone to pick me up. He knows he should go home too so he could look after me, but I tell him to stay. I know he wants to. I’m not letting my drunkenness take away his night to have fun.

Despite my hazy mind, my tiny bit of soberness sees who took me home. She doesn’t talk during the entire ride and she doesn’t turn on the radio. The silence in her car brings peace to my brain. It’s lessening an urge to vomit.

She helps me walk into my flat. Or rather, stumble my way through. My urge to vomit returns and I immediately throw up in the loo as soon as we get inside. My brain is desperate for sleep, though my tired body wants me to stay awake. So I stumble back into my bedroom and collapse on my bed. Not too long later, she joins me.

“You shouldn’t have gotten drunk,” she scolds me, sitting down on the mattress.

“Didn’t want to turn down free drinks,” I mumble.

“You’ve done that before.”

“I regret doing that.”

She shakes her head in disappointment. “What’s gotten into you? You normally don’t drink yourself to this point.”

“Why do you think I got myself drunk? I think you know.”

“No, I don’t.”

“It’s because I love you, okay? I love you and I can’t have you and we’ve talked about this so many times already. But it’s still the same. You want love, just not with me. For my sake and all that other shit.”

“Dan-”

“I fucking hate you,” I spat. “I hate being in love with you. I’m sick of you telling me that you’re sacrificing our chance to be together to protect my reputation. But I’m fucking sacrificing shit too. You’re not even giving me a chance and I’m forced to just watch you get your heart broken all the damn time. I’m tired of it. I’m so, so, so tired of it.”

I close my eyes after my outburst. I don’t see nor hear her reaction. As I fall unconscious, I smile at the burden I’ve finally gotten out of my chest.

It feels better than all the orgasms I’ve had from her.

˜:˜

I wake up the next day with a massive headache. I feel like a boulder pounded through my skull repetitively and I haven’t died from it. The sweet release of death would’ve been so much better than to be conscious with this mental hell.

(Y/N) is nowhere in sight. There’s two Tylenol pills and a glass of water on my dresser. I don’t know if it’s Phil or (Y/N) who left it there.

I swallow the pills and drink the water. I wait for my hangover to subside. I stay in bed for nearly an additional hour before I can stand up with minimal pain in my head.

Phil is eating a sandwich in the kitchen when I exit my bedroom. He grins upon seeing me awake.

“Hey,” I grumble.

“Hey! You feeling better?”

“I’m feeling more shit than usual.”

Phil chuckles. “I’m not surprised.”

“Where’s (Y/N)?”

“She left a couple of hours ago. Said she wanted to stay, but she had something important to take care of.”

Ugh. Gordon is that important thing.

Phil gives me a hesitant gaze. “Ummm… (Y/N) texted me not too long ago.”

“What’d she say?”

“She broke up with Gordon.”

I freeze. Am I hearing this right?

“She texted you first, but you didn’t answer back. I told her you were still asleep. She said she’ll call back tonight.”

Fuck it. I’ll call her right now.

I dash to my room and grab my iPhone. There’s one unread text from her, though I ignore it and dial her number instead. I know what the text entails. What I need is to hear the news through her own mouth than words on a phone screen.

“Yo.”

“You really broke up with Gordon?”

“What, I don’t get a good afternoon?”

“Good afternoon, (Y/N). Now spill.”

She sighs. “Yes, Dan. I broke up with Gordon.”

“Why?”

“Do you not remember what you told me last night?”

I rack through my memories of last night. There was a party. I got drunk. (Y/N) drove me home. I said some things to her… wait.

I told her I love her.

I said “I love you” to (Y/N).

Fuck. My. Life. I wasn’t supposed to do that.

“Meet me outside your flat. I wanna talk to you face-to-face.”

“Uh… yeah. I’ll… see you.”

The surprise hits me more when the call ends. She knows how I feel for her. All this time, she only knew that I was interested in pursuing a relationship with her. Not that I love her. No, I intended to save those three words until we got through a first date.

Phil notices my shocked expression as I walk out my room. He’s done with his sandwich, and he beams, probably knowing what we talked about.

“(Y/N)’s coming over?”

I nod, still speechless.

“I’ll be in my room if you need me.” He winks. “Just don’t be too loud, eh?”

I scowl, sticking my tongue out. I’m going to talk to her, not fuck her senseless. I can save that for a later time.

“I’m happy for you, Dan. Go get your girl.”

My scowl switches to a grateful smile. It’s thanks to Phil’s advising that I’ve been able to rationally deal with my emotions toward (Y/N).

“She was always my girl,” I reply. “It just took her a lifetime to accept it.”

˜:˜

When (Y/N) arrives driving her (your favorite car), I open the car door and sit down on the shotgun seat. It would be more comfortable for us talk in my flat, but if we wind up arguing, it wouldn’t be fair for Phil to be forced to eavesdrop on it.

“Hi,” I greet.

“Hey.”

“So…”

“Last night made me think about a lot of things.” She unbuckles her seatbelt. “It was a lot to take in. I… I was ashamed. I knew you were hurt from all the dating failures I’ve had and me going to you because of it. But I never thought you’d be in love with me. I thought you only cared about me as a close friend. In all the relationships I’ve had, you’re the only one I’ve ever felt insecure about falling for. All the other guys, I didn’t mind if I got my heart broken. As long as I tried, hey, at least I know they’re not the one. With you, I was genuinely afraid I’d really lose you as a friend if we fell in love. Liking: I’m okay with that. Sex: I’ll roll with it. Love: I’d rather lose a limb than have my heart make that commitment. Gordon’s cool, but he isn’t you. He’s funny, he’s understanding, he’s hot as hell and a fantastic kisser. But I can’t love him. I can’t see myself saying yes if he proposed to me one day. If you proposed… I’d honestly say yes before you even asked ‘Will you marry me?’”

“(Y/N), are you saying you want to get hitched?”

She giggles. “You’re missing the point. I love you too, you dork. I broke up with Gordon because I realized I’m supposed to be with you. I don’t care what my parents and your friends will say. If I want to have Daniel Howell as my boyfriend, then I’ll let him be my boyfriend.”

“So you want to be my girlfriend?“

She grins, her head moving up and down excitedly. She moves her mouth to my ear. “I want the man who’s a freak on YouTube and in the sheets.”

I laugh, elated that my nightmare is over. I don’t have to keep us a secret to the public anymore. “Want me to prove that to you in here?”

She raises an eyebrow. “Is that a challenge?”

“Maybe.”

Her grin doesn’t falter as she drives her car elsewhere. She moves it at a more isolated location, and once she finishes parking, she pounces.

We kiss each other hungrily. We move to the passenger seat so we have more room. I inch her dress up and slide her panties down her legs. She pulls down my pants down to my feet. We groan in unison as I bury myself to the hilt inside her. My movements are slow, a first since sex became a factor in our lives. Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking her Clothes off by Panic at the Disco is playing on the radio, partially masking the sounds of the moans and groans escaping our lips. How fitting, except now my girl is officially my girlfriend.

We don’t fuck. We make love. We take our time, and after we reach our peaks, I hug my lover close.

We can dance to this beat for as long as she’ll have me.