Don't get me wrong. I love eating ass, but I'm not going to judge someone for not wanting to. At the end of the day poo does come out of there. As long as he give me that bomb dick and let me eat his chocolate starfish.
Gays who don’t eat ass are weak (especially tops), and natural selection is coming for them
A/N: This is a little gift for @bookworm126 because she deserves it. I hope you like it. ♥
The Great Hall was still loud
and full of cute couples in the morning after Valentine’s Day, but just sat at
the Ravenclaw table without your boyfriend, still fuming since he completely forgotten
about you yesterday. Leaning on your elbow and looking in the distance, Sirius
suddenly appeared next to you, pressing a huge kiss on your cheek and stealing
a toast from your plate.
„Morning, my love.”
Still being angry, you only
glanced at him for a moment before you buried your gaze into the Daily Prophet in
front of you. „Good to know I’m still your girlfriend.”
He raised his eyebrow, chewing
on his breakfast. „Why are you mad at me?”
„Whatever.” – you started in a
high voice, looking at him now. – „I just thought you could devote some time
for me on Valentine’s Day instead of spending it with your friends.”
He stared at you for a minute,
regret gathered in his puppy eyes before he could spoke; his voice was low and
careful. „Sophia, I swear I didn’t now it’s so important to you.”
You raised your voice. „I didn’t
ask „What do you want to do on Valentine’s
Day?” several times without no reason!”
„I’m sorry! Look, let me make
it up to you.”
He stood up, but you stayed in
your seat, shaking your head. „Just forget it.”
„No, I’ll make it up.” – he said;
his face was concerned and excited at the same time. „I’ll be right back soon,
just stay here.”
He left the Great Hall
quickly. Is he really wants to make you feel better by leaving you again? An
other half an hour passed, but Sirius was still nowhere, so you went back to
your dormitory. You plopped down on your bed with a book, planning an all day
reading session, but you hardly read a page when the door of your room brusted
„Sirius! How did you get in
He smiled confidently. „I
solved the riddle.” – You looked at him suspiciously, so he continued. – „Okay,
a first year let me in.”
You sighed and rolled your
eyes, but couldn’t suppress a little smile as you looked back at your book. He
walked closer to you and emptied a huge backpack on your bed, full of
chocolates, candies, and nearly every sweats that you could buy at Honeydukes.
You stared the pile in awe. „Tell
me you didn’t sneak out to Hogsmeade.”
„I didn’t sneak out to
Hogsmeade.” – he started, sitting down next to you. – „But I actually did.”
You closed your book, shot him
an angry look. „If you’re here to bribe me with sweets, it won’t work.”
„No, I’m here to bribe you
with sweets, kisses, cuddles, and with all of my attention for the rest of the
day.” – he mumbled with a sweet tone into your ear. – „Can it work?” He wrapped
an arm around you, pulling you against his chest and kissed you slowly and
„I’m still mad at you.” – you muttered,
but your voice wasn’t so convincing now.
„I’m really sorry darling.” –
he said, stroking your cheek with his thumb as he held your face in his hand. –
„I love you so much. Forgive me please.”
You reached out and ruffled
his dark hair, a little smirk on your lips. „You’re an idiot.”
He suppress an urge to say
something because you messed up his perfect locks. „Your idiot, though.”
You giggled, shaking your head
lightly. „I love you too.” – you said between two kisses before you sat up
suddenly. „Now let me eat these chocolates.”
He followed you, wrapping his
arms around you and resting his head on your shoulder, saying sweet nothings
into your ears.
useless knowledge i have that would be great for unique AUs
• how a high school newspaper is run (photoshop, indesign, page layout, editing, being editor in chief, going to press, etc.)
• working in a craft/fabric store and listening to customer problems and trying to help when really i have no idea what i’m doing either
• the complete layout of the city of st. louis, as well as an undying love for the cardinals baseball team
• tutoring an ap us history class with a teacher who lets you eat all his chocolate
• running social media accounts for a nonprofit organization
So… I still have sinusitis. I’m getting better, but I still feel kind of terrible. However, my next request is ~spicy~, so hopefully that can clear my sinuses and make me better! I wrote this specifically because there aren’t any existing headcanons for it, apart from ones with an MC who’s just sick with a non-specified illness.
· He’s super worried when you tell him your symptoms, and genuinely thinks your face will fall off? Your description of your symptoms might have something to do with it, though… Also, WebMD freaked him out
· He forced you to see a doctor even though you said you could just wait it out, and he’s attentive as possible to what the doctor says. So, you have sinusitis? And there’s no medication you can take for it because it’s a viral infection? Well… He never wants to get it!
· Even though he started to work hard on his studies since being in a relationship with you, he’s taking all the time off until you’re better, despite your protests. I mean this is kind of doing practicals, right? Except it’s totally not…
· He keeps you tucked up with plenty of blankets and makes sure the room you’re in is pretty dark. He makes sure you drink plenty of water and keeps applying warm compresses to your nose.
· He knows you might not be in the mood to eat much, so he makes you very simple meals. He really likes feeding you himself! He also heard that spicy foods would clear up your sinuses but one time he tried to make you spicy food and put way too much paprika in it, and you almost died. So, it’s an accepted rule that he probably shouldn’t cook spicy food without you around
· He tries to make the food look pretty, but he’s still pretty bad at presentation so if he tries to make it a smiley face it’s going to look like a jellyfish. Have you seen his omurice?
· Yoosung is a firm believer in kissing it better and is going to shower your forehead, nose, and cheeks with kisses. He’ll also hug you tight and cover you in blankets.
· There’ll be no working on his watch! REST, REST, REST!
· He wanted to play video games with you, but the kind that won’t make you rage quit, but looking at the screen and down at the controller made you feel REALLY sick.
· He will buy you a teddy so you can hug it when he isn’t around (that is, if you’ve convinced him to go back to uni).
· At nights, he’s going to be the big spoon. When he’s sure you’re asleep, he sets up the room for the next day in case you wake up before him. There’ll be a jug of water, a glass, tissues, and an adorable note signed by him.
· He hasn’t ever had sinusitis (lets be real it’s canon that he’s never had a cold), but upon learning what the symptoms are he felt so bad for you. Like how do you even function if your face feels so tender and painful? That’s one of his favourite features about himself!
· If you refuse to see the doctor about it, he’s going to throw you onto his motorcycle and drive you there himself, even if it means having to wait like 2 hours in the walk-in clinic. Really, you know that you just should let it run its course and seeing a doctor isn’t needed, but since this guy never gets ill, he thinks it’s something serious.
· He’s super relieved when the doctor says it’ll clear up by himself, but holy crap it can take a while! He’s secretly going to use telepathy to give you his crazy healing abilities 😊
· Truthfully, he has no idea how to take care of someone else who is sick, but the advice from the doctor, plus a quick Google search gives him a good idea of what he should be doing.
· He’s going to try his hardest to take time off from rehearsals so that he can look after you, but if his director is hell-bent on him going to rehearsals, he’s leaving you texts all day. If your sinusitis is so bad that looking at a screen hurts, he’ll call you. If you don’t pick up, he’ll understand; you need a lot of rest anyways so he doesn’t want to disrupt that.
· As an actor who sings in musicals, I’m going to bet you anything that this guy has a neti pot. So, he’s going to get you to use it and OH MY GOD WHAT COMES OUT OF YOUR NOSE IS DISGUSTING!
· Expect a lot of head massages from him! I’m a firm believer he has magic fingers that will quell your headache in an instant, or rather just make the pain more bearable for a while. Also, while he does this he’ll probably sing a few songs that come to his mind. Or he’ll improvise!
· Like Yoosung he’ll kiss you gently where it hurts most because his kisses have the power to take away the pain (except in this instance they really do not, but you appreciate the gesture)
· He buys you real flowers initially, but realising that they’re making the sinusitis worse, he quickly changes them to fake flowers. Plus, fake flowers never die, which is awesome.
· “You’re still stunning, MC!” he says as he looks at you, your form sweating from an intense fever, making a pained face because of the never-ending agony burning on your face, feeling incredibly sick. He’s going to send a selfie of you and him to the RFA chatroom and make sure that everyone sends you a get well soon message. Especially Jumin, that jerk.
· She’s probably had it once in the past, but because it was a long time ago she initially thinks it’s something more serious before her rationality kicks in; she recognises the symptoms. Since she knows that it isn’t worth seeing a doctor until it gets more serious, she decides to close the café for a few days until you feel better.
· She’ll make sure you drink plenty of water throughout the day – she even has an alarm to remind herself to give you a new glass of water every few hours. However, she also makes sure to reapply a warm compress on your sinuses at the same time.
· As much as you love this woman… You feel betrayed when she forces you to rest your head over a bowl of steaming water, infused with menthol. You hate doing it, but you know that it’s for the best. Similarly, she’s cruel in that she won’t let you eat any chocolate as sugar can make your symptoms worse, but that’s really what you want at the time.
· She’ll make you ginger and honey tea, and even if you don’t like the taste at first, you eventually get used to it. However, you would die for another bowl of her chicken soup, though – it tastes amazing!
· If you don’t live with her, she’ll probably stay at your house until you feel better, and she’ll take care of your chores too. I feel like she’s the sort of person who needs to keep herself busy.
· She knows that you probably don’t want to watch any of Zen’s musicals because your head feels so sore, so she spends time just talking to you. About anything and everything, no matter how ridiculous it may be.
· Expect her to run amazing baths for you – they’re so soothing and relaxing that you’re able to forget about the pain for a while.
· Now, she might be more romantic than usual; she’ll give you kisses on the head, play with your hair, and she’ll write you cute post-it notes when you sleep during the day, all of which have a heart at the bottom.
· The best part is her sleeping in your bed with you. She’s probably super warm and will hug you to keep you extra warm, even if you’re already wrapped in like five blankets. But you aren’t complaining.
· When you show even the slightest sign of being sick, he gets worried. Had the chef’s food made you ill? Was it because Driver Kim had driven too fast on your way home from your date? Were the flashes from the paparazzi’s cameras affecting your eyes?
· He’s truly so extra that he tries to call in the best doctor in the whole of South Korea, but you stop him before rumours go around that you have a deadly disease. He relents, and instead requests his guards to call in his personal doctor (lets be real, he probably has one)
· He’s very attentive and mentally notes everything the doctor says. He asks so many questions since he’s never had sinusitis before, and wants to know the best way to help you recover. Honestly, he’s heartbroken when he hears that stray pet hairs may make your symptoms worse, but if it’s for your health, he’s willing to get Jaehee to look after Elizabeth… Oh, how I pity her lmao.
· However, he does get a reeeallllly random idea when your headaches become intense – why not let Elizabeth lay on your head? Granted, her fur would’ve been brushed beforehand to get rid of loose hairs, and strangely it kind of worked because her belly was so warm.
· He’ll take as many days off work as possible until you’re fully recovered – so what if it can take up to two weeks? He can just do his paperwork at home. Sure, Chairman Han might be pissed, but your health is Jumin’s priority.
· He’s going to force the cleaner to do overtime to make sure everything is exceptionally clean and dust/cat hair free.
· Only the best will suffice for you – he’s going to make sure you have anti-allergy bedding, eat food which will help you recover from it more quickly, and even super-hot baths which have essential oils infused into them.
· He won’t refuse your request for some homemade soup, however – I mean, he makes you delicious strawberry pancakes in his route!
· Likewise, if you ask him to read you a story from the storybook Rika gave him, he’ll oblige. He’s even happy to give the characters their own voices! However, if something seems illogical to him, he’ll pause and comment on it. Seriously, he could start his own business of reviewing books because he’s so detailed about it all.
· He knows something is up when you flinch at the lights being on and when you don’t smile or laugh at his jokes as much as normal. As first he thinks you’re just having a down day, and he understands that, but when you don’t seem to be getting any better, he gets concerned. He asks if you’re feeling okay, and you pretty much say no before telling him your symptoms.
· Deep down he’s really worried. Like, there’s a part of him which says that it could be something deadly and he REALLY doesn’t want to lose you, but he has to shake it off because his rational side is telling him it probably isn’t anything to worry about. Still, he needs some closure so you agree to go to the doctors to reassure him.
· He relaxes A LOT when the doctor says it isn’t serious, but even if he’s a genius hacker, he wasn’t aware of it beforehand. Now his main aim is to make you laugh and take your mind off the pain!
· He feels kind of weird because he’s never had to take care of anyone before (bar Saeran), and poor guy can barely look after himself. But he’ll try his best!! He’s going to initially be goofy and dress in a doctor’s outfit and pretend to give you an examination, even if you’ve already had one from a qualified professional… Just let him have fun, okay?
· He saw this recipe on Google for a drink which could clear your sinuses and tried to make it… but it was awful. You just ask him to stick to giving you cold water with cute star-shaped ice cubes floating in it.
· He’ll feed you hot soup that he says he made (but you’re pretty sure Saeran made it – you can just tell) and he totally pretends the spoon is an airplane when he feeds you.
· That kitty robot he made for you at the apartment has been modified to dispense medication, if you need it.
· He’s pretty much down for whatever – you need hugs? He’ll give you them. You want a kiss? He’s giving you 707. Heck, he’ll go all out and create a huge pillow fort so you can sleep in it – it’s pretty dark so it won’t hurt your head or eyes.
· Even if he’s goofy, he’s a real sweetheart during this time. He might not get ill that often, but he doesn’t like seeing you sick and in pain, so he wants you to be better as soon as possible!
Could you please write 35 with Steve. I think he would just be the best dad ever and that makes my heart melt!
35) “Wait. Am I gonna be a dad?”
Word count : 402
kids but you never wanted to be a mother you always imagine yourself as a cool
aunt. The kind of bring gifts and let them eat chocolate before dinner. But
here you are with a pregnancy test on your hand the says that you are going to
be a mother.
are scared you and Steve aren’t even married but can you imagine a kid with his
blue eyes and your hair running around the house. You are pretty sure he would
be a great father if he want, but does he want this? Yes he loves you but he
has a crazy life.
You stay on
the floor of the bathroom floor until you hear the door of the living room open
and shut “ Baby where are you ?” you tell him to follow your voice
“ What are you doing on the floor wait what is that on your hand ?”
you just smile at him and hand the test “Wait.
Am I gonna be a dad?”
your head “ Baby that’s great news are you happy?” you look at him he
is so happy that he doesn’t stop smile “Yes , i am just surprised and a
little scared but happy ” he put
his large hand on your belly “ Don’t be i am here for the both of you
” You both get up and go straight to the bedroom for a nap.
You wake up
with your lovely boyfriend talking to your belly “ I am so happy that you
exist ,me and your mommy are going to love you so much and your uncle Bucky to you don’t have any idea. I hope you be a boy
so you can protect your mother when i am not around , but if you are a girl i
hope you be as strong as her” you start to ruin your fingers thru his hair
to grab his attention “ Hey ”
he kiss you “ Thank you , for having my baby ” you just laugh “
calm down boy , its really early i don’t think you be this happy when i am
moody , feeling sick every day and you have to massage my feet’s” he
just laughs and kiss you “ of
course i will be ” and he was.