lets be brief

I get a little sad when I hear people going “Hunk is not fat, he’s muscular” because like…

Let’s just take a brief look at our beautiful boy here:

I like this shot, even though it’s technically everyone, because this nicely demonstrates both of the important things here. The important things here is: Hunk is both fat. and muscular. Absolutely. He has a soft tummy and big dang beefy arms. 

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I’m really sorry if somebody made this joke already! I couldn’t do real art today so I made dumb jokes instead. 

In other news, “A strange blue man with funny hair shows up with an angry cat, eats all your food, and then teleports a baby” is an acceptable summary for all of Super. You’re welcome. 

“The world will wait, Amatus.” It’s said as a command, Dorian’s voice hardened to a blunt edge. He needs it to be true. He pulls Trevelyan to him, earnest. If their days are to be numbered, if their time together brief, let them have this day. 

For all his study of temporal magic – Dorian wished he had learned to freeze a moment. Warm, gloriously so for the mountains in the fall, the sun bright and gold through the leaves of the amber clad trees. Their friends, gathered about the garden, watch them with warm, quiet smiles. A breeze sets the trees clapping, Cole plays a trill high note on a little wooden flute. His husbands body close to his, breath on his face. A moment. 

Just for today, the world obeys. 

Time to kick off Dorianmance week (I’m a day early in Canada but I can’t help myself). Quick sketch + sneak peak from the fic I’m working on. <3 

My unofficial theme for the week is Garret and Dorian’s wedding. 2

Brendon Urie Imagine- Painter!Brendon AU

It’s the early hours of the morning when the best memories are made. You and your boyfriend Brendon are tangled up together under the covers, listening to an old Frank Sinatra record because the smooth jazz was always soothing to the both of you. You are laying against his chest, listening to his heart beat and his voice rattle as he hums along to the song. His fingers are mindlessly tracing shapes into your thigh. 

“Bren, we should do something.” you giggle softly. 

“What would you like to do love? It’s two in the morning.” 

“Is it really?”

“Can’t sleep?”

“Me either.” 

You let out a brief sigh as you think of something to do. Obviously sleep evades both of you, and perhaps for a good reason. 

“I have an idea of something we could do.” he sounds hesitant, like he isn’t sure of himself. 

“What’s that?” you say dragging you hand across his chest. 

“Can I um.. paint you something?” he mumbles pushing his glasses up on his nose. There is a timid expression looking in his eye behind the glasses. He bites down nervously on his lip as he awaits your answer. 

“I would love that.” you smile up at him.

Something seems off though. It looks like there is still more he wants to say, but can quite find the words to say it. You prop yourself up on your elbows and frown at him, hoping he will speak his mind. 

“What?”

“Would it be okay if I painted on you?” he asks timidly, shifting his weight on the bed. 

“Oh.” you think about it. His face drops a bit, thinking that you don’t like the idea. He begins to mumble something apologetic but you wave away his worries by reaching out and taking his hand in yours tenderly. With a gentle squeeze, he meets your gaze and you flash him a warm smile. 

“Of course you can Brendon.” your voice is soft and inviting. 

With a reassuring grin, he lifts himself up off the bed and goes in search of supplies, leaving you to your thoughts. You lift yourself up off the bed and peel off your shirt and toss it to the side. Next you move on to your bra, letting it slip down near the foot of the bed. It feels odd to be so exposed knowing he is right in the other room. Just as you are bundling up the silky sheets in your hands, Brendon returns with an arm full of well loved painting supplies. He stops in his tracks and takes you in fervently as you peer over your shoulder at him. 

“Will this do?” you ask, clutching the sheets to your chest. 

He stares at you for a second longer than he thought he would, and you feel the blush start to creep over your cheeks. Praying he wouldn’t see your sheepish expression, you slide down on the bed so he can paint you. 

“Perfect.” he clears his throat, sitting down next to you on the bed. His fingers brush against your back as he pushes you hair off to the side. The touch is light and it makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up. Soon his hands are tracing patterns along your back as he plans out what he is going to paint. You watch him with wonder in your eyes. 

He bites down on his lip as he dips into a jar of red paint. The paint feels cool against your back, causing you to tense up a little bit. He stops immediately, and shifts his gaze to your eyes. You wish he would continue, but his concern is sweet. 

“It’s cold.” you giggle. 

Your giggle serves as a signal to continue, and he does. He’s so concentrated and delicate as he paints intricate designs on your back. Every stroke is deliberate but you can’t quite make out what he is painting. Settling into the sheets a little more, you let the soft Sinatra record in the background fill your mind. The whole atmosphere is so serene that you could almost fall asleep just like this. The more he paints, the more comfortable he becomes, and you really start to relax. 

“Mmm Bren.” you hum as his hand traces along your waist. 

That indecisive look from earlier is back and you know he is angling at something. His fingers fumble along the hem of your pants and he looks back at you. 

“May I?”

“Sure.” 

With your permission, he rolls back the waistband of your pants, exposing your lower back. Once again you find yourself fighting self conscious thoughts, but they are quickly tossed away as he whispers encouraging things to you.  The paintbrush flicks over your skin. He hums along to the static record as the continues with his masterpiece. 

“Done.” he smiles down at your back. 

“Can I see?” you ask looking around for a mirror. 

As you sit up, you fold your arms over your chest almost instinctively. Both of you blush against the moonlight, two innocent souls meant for each other. His sturdy hand reaches out and grabs your arm, rubbing up and down lightly. 

“You don’t need to be embarrassed around me you know.” his low raspy night voice is music to your ears. His touch lingers all the way down to your hands, locking his fingers with yours. You hop up from the bed trying you best not to be insecure around him. “Close your eyes.” 

He manages to lead you over in front of the standing mirror in the corner of the room. With your chest against his, you stand there close and personal. His body radiates heat and gives off an energy as he counts down.

“Open.” 

You open your eyes and look over your shoulder to find a whole garden of intricate flowers decorating your back. It’s breath taking and all yours. 

“Brendon! It’s beautiful.” you gasp. 

“This flower is my favorite.” He points to a rose that sits in between your shoulder blades. “It reminds me of you. So beautiful and delicate.” 

“I love it.” you can’t take you eyes off of his masterpiece. 

His lips connect with your forehead. You look up at him with a bright smile and hopeful eyes. He dips his head down, connecting your lips in a slow kiss. His possessive fingers curl around your freshly painted back, pulling you as close as possible. You hum against his lips as the two of you find your way back to the bed. 

“You are so beautiful.” he gushes.

[author’s note: This is just a short one I wrote for my good friend @sinnerbrendon because they love painter!brendon. I really hope you like it!]

HOW TO COURT A MAN IN COURT (or INAPPROPRIATE JURY DUTY PICK-UP LINES)

(I’ve been v inspired @ jury duty this week…)

  • Excuse me, but are you actually here for Jury BOOOOTY???
  • Boy, I wish you were an oath so I could be under you.
  • Law-yer place or mine?
  • You are truly the best case scenario.
  • What’s your favorite (de)position? 
  • I think you’re testiFIIIIINE.
  • Our love deserves a fair trial. 
  • May I approach your bench?
  • Boxers or legal briefs?
  • Let’s make like a judge’s gavel and bang!
  • You’re out of my justice league. 
  • I heard you’re a member of the hung jury.
  • More like YOLO contendere, am I right?
  • I’d let you send me a ver-dict pic.
  • What do you say we both stop pleading the fifth (wheel)?
  • Me, just shouting at your crotch: “All rise!”
  • I’ve got an ass that just won’t acquit. 
  • Your balls are in my court.
  • Are you into pa-role playing?
  • That law-suit would look better on my floor.
  • I hope you’re not jurisprudent in bed.
  •  Want to watch an episode of Bra & Order?
  • I think we should cross-sexamine each other.
  • Could you be any prosecuter?? 
  • Let’s bail and then bond.
  • I can show you a real juror’s box.
  • Talk about a guilty pleasure!
  • I’d like to call my next witness. So give me yo number.
  • Your honor? More like YOU’RE ON HER. ::motions to self::
  • If you experience an objection lasting longer than 4 hours…
  • Me, just shouting in the courtroom: “You’re under a breast!”
Using Poppers: Or how to feel the rush & not end up in the ER.

So this is the first real P.S.A. I’ve ever written - but after a few messages over the past few months, I decided it was time to do a general intro & such on the use of those ever-potent little brown bottles that us Cardiophiles love to play with… POPPERS! 

So for the neophytes, what are these special chemicals that make us go wild? And for that matter, what good are they? Let’s take a brief look back in time for a bit on them.

Poppers - the chemical aromas found in such varities as “RUSH” “Jungle Juice” “Amsterdam” and many others have their origins in history as a derivative of Amyl Nitrite. Amyl Nitrite is a potent vasodialator which has been used in cardiovascular research & treatment of some conditions for decades. The actual process is this: Upon inhalation and contact with the bloodstream, Amyl Nitrite releases through chemical properties a crapload of nitric acid. Nitric acid in turn causes smooth muscle (including the arteries) to open and dilate. As the nitric acid swirls through the bloodstream, it passes through the heart, and opens the coronary arteries, dropping blood pressure around the heart. The heart senses this, and begins to pump not only faster but with more intensity, trying to balance the blood pressure not only around it - but also through the rest of the body. This drop in BP is also what gives the heady rush feeling just prior to your heart pumping in an incredible, intense manner. 

In the USA, as it is in some countries, Amyl Nitrite isn’t available without a prescription. Other chemical compounds have since made themselves widely available - Isobutyl Nitrite, Isopentyl Nitrite & Butyl Nitrite being the three most common. Usually you’ll find these in your local “adult’ store under various brands, often naming the use as “VCR Head Cleaner” “room aroma” among others. Many Leather stores sell wide varieties of these, all with similar chemicals in them to get your blood pumping and your heart pounding. 

So let’s now go into your first time - and what to expect. 

Chances are, if you’re using these bottles of potent vapor, you’re already pretty hard-core cardiophile, complete with stethoscope & most likely your microphone for posterity recordings. So here’s a basic timeline of what will happen on that first inhale:

0:10 - you feel a bit dizzy, and a bit tingly. 
0:15 - your skin tingles a bit more, and begins to ‘flush’ red- often starting in the head, down your neck, and across your chest. 
0:25-0:30 - your heart begins to pump with tremendous force, and your heart rate begins to accelerate.
0:35-0:45 - breathing becomes deeper and much more rapid; full intensity of the nitrites in your body; your heart is not reaching the higest level of impact from the first inhale
1:00-1:30 - the rush dissipates, and the heart begins to restore normal BP; it feels like your heart is pounding in your skull
1:30-3:00 - The heart begins to pump normally, and the rate returns to normal. 

As far as the physical effects, they do vary - but in my own course of research, I’ve noted these happening:

Strong & hard plunge in BP - in one instance, as my heart rate passed 160, my BP dropped to 90/40. 
More pronounced valve sounds - notably at tricuspid & mitral positions - as the heart dilates to pump more blood, the valve sounds become accentuated and the sound is incredible. Systolic murmurs can appear at the Aortic & pulmonic positions. 
Thundering heart- Exactly as it sounds, it feels as if your heart is trying to pump out of your ribs. 

Now mind you, that’s just one hit. Many of us (myself included) go for extended runs - poppering up if you will - to prolong the intensity of the effects on the heart. And you can, with experience & practice, do the same for yourself. But there are a few things that can make or break the experience:

1.) Straight-breathing the vapors will kill the effect after about four minutes - you’ll lose the rush, and the intensity of the pleasure. It is better to pace the hits out on a regular time basis and keep the intensity - and the pumping of your heart - at the maximum level.  In my own work (and my work with other ‘subjects’) I have found that hits every 35-45 seconds works good for a 9-12 minute cycle. 

2.) Your body type, size, etc. do play a role on how they impact your heart - as well as other things. For example: A heavy, burly man like myself requires longer and more deep hits for the right impact on my heart; a thin, younger man’s heart. 

3.) Smoking: The nitrites are VERY flammable - if you use tobacco products, do not mix the two together. You’ll end up in the burn ward.  

4.) Prolonged exposure can cause some temporary effects you don’t necessarily want. If you’re new, don’t do repeat hits until after you’ve experienced what poppers do to your body & your heart. 

Popper no-nos:

I have seen, experimented & tried many methods of working my heart over to get it to beat like I want it - and I’ve learned quite a bit on myself and my ‘subjects’ Here’s a list of warnings & such that you might be wary of:

1.) Your erection may fall flat: As BP drops hard, so will your shaft. It is a natural course to happen, so you may have to edge yourself up a bit. 
2.) Notable irregular beats: I’ve had this happen to me on numerous occasions - and on a few subjects. During an intense popper session, I began to have dropped beats - that wonderful ‘pause’ that lasts a little too long followed by a powerful contraction of the ventricles.  More commonly though, they begin to appear at the end of a poppers session - and can be not only a lot more frequent, but last for several minutes. (My ‘record’ was 2:30 of irregular beats.)
3.) Poppers & stimulants: You might think this will heighten the effects on your heart… but it doesn’t. While both make your heart race & your blood surge, both act differently on the heart. Stimulants force the heart to pump faster & harder by raising blood pressure, poppers do the same by lowering blood pressure. Poppers & stimulants end up counteracting each other, and really ruin the ‘rush’ of poppers - and of stimulants. Best recommendation: Do one, or the other, but not both. 
3.) Poppers & Viagra/Cialis/Levitra/Quickerdickeruppers (Both prescription & OTC). DON’T EVER DO THIS. I mean that. I have experimented on a gentleman who took a Cialis, and wanted a poppering session without telling me of his Cialis. Three minutes in, his heart rate passed 190, and his BP dropped to unmeasurable levels - followed by his passing out. And then a trip to the ER and some very awkward questions followed. Cialis, etc. are potent vasodilators in their own right, and do similar effects on the heart as do poppers. Combining the two could lead to a death certificate as the heart becomes hypoxic - with no oxygen reaching the heart muscle, ventricular fibrilation & cardiac arrest could follow.  Remember: Don’t mix the two - ever. 
4.) Other illegal drugs: I’m not advocating these drugs at all - as mild or as wild as they may be. I can say this: Poppers interact with everything- and will screw your heart up good when combined with illegal drugs. 


So there you have it, my fellow cardiophiles. If you choose to go the poppers route, welcome - play safe & play careful. Know your body, know your heart, and have fun. 

Somehow of a serious post

Putting this under a read more as I’m gonna briefly discuss where did I went for the past two-or-something weeks and it’s gonna touch personal chords so if you want to read this it’s your own choice.

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